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-   -   The Official Fri/Sat/Sun/Mon/Tue drunk/drugs/sad sex thread (http://forums.netphoria.org/showthread.php?t=185683)

Disco King 03-17-2018 11:37 PM

I'm not sure if I'm more surprised by the fact that Fuzzy's condolences were actually appropriate, or by the fact that he used the phrase "blessing in disguise" correctly this time.

Progress!

MyOneAndOnly 03-18-2018 12:42 AM

I think i'm mostly over the fact that my marriage ended last year. Moving away has helped with that. I've started thinking about dating. I don't know how i'll do that, but i'm thinking about it.

also, i haven't had sex in years. since way before I went on hormones. I really want to laid and not be the cis male top. I've finally realized that i"m not a top. It was kind of a revelation. I think most people are unhappy with their sex life because they never really understand things like that.

Disco King 03-18-2018 01:11 AM

Have you tried the local kink community? They seem real open to sex positivity and gender/sexual minorities. Would probably be easier to find somebody who understands your needs than in mainstream vanilla society. I don't think it would necessarily even have to dominance/submission or fetish stuff (though I don't know if that's what you mean by "top"). I think people would just be more open in general.

Shallowed 03-18-2018 01:41 AM

Have you tried volunteering?

Cool As Ice Cream 03-18-2018 06:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fuzzyroes (Post 4427169)
Sorry man... Lord knows it hurts to have your heart break.... Just remember that humans are resilient and can withstand a lot of pain. It might seem crushing now, but you're a reasonably good looking guy with an above average intelligence. You never know, one day you might look back on this loss as something of a blessing in disguise.

spoken like a true buddhist
no points to gain

"you're a reasonably good looking guy with an above average intelligence"
keep the half-arsed compliments coming, fuzzy!

smashingjj 03-18-2018 06:43 AM

hahahah

"you look somewhat ok and you're also not that dumb" is what I go around saying and it's the reason I have so many friends

Cool As Ice Cream 03-18-2018 07:49 AM

lol true true
you had me at "somewhat"

vixnix 03-18-2018 08:44 AM

I have recently discovered Moscow Mules. They're great because the strong flavours mask the alcohol so well you can tip 1/3 cup of vodka in there and it's still pretty pleasant to drink.

FoolofaTook 03-18-2018 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shallowed (Post 4427192)
Have you tried volunteering?

Have you tried nihilism?

:beatup:

smashingjj 03-18-2018 12:09 PM

I was at my friend's 40th birthday Friday and he played Om and I thought of you, Took.

You, Took.

I thought of you.

smashingjj 03-18-2018 12:10 PM

Apart from that it was super enjoyable and gezellig and I felt bad for not having seen him and some others for a long time and I love my friends.

FoolofaTook 03-18-2018 04:18 PM

Congratulations. I salute you!

FoolofaTook 03-18-2018 04:19 PM

Did you smoke weed?

Disco King 03-18-2018 09:05 PM

Been chatting to that last girl who broke things off (we're still friends) with me and whom I really like, and darn it... I still feel pretty smitten with her. She's funny, creative, adorable, and really honest. We want to make fruit soup to see if warm sweet liquid food still counts as soup, haha.

Conversation kinda came into our struggles with social anxiety, and I disclosed my tendency to withdraw from others pre-emptively because of paranoia that others only tolerate my company and are actually tiring of me.

She told me that she thinks my fears are unfounded and that people like me, and that she personally has never tired of me, "despite the fact that we're awkward af in person."

I appreciate her telling me that, but at the same time, it seems to confirm that it was the awkwardness that killed it. Just kinda sucks knowing that things could have been different, had I just let myself relax and stopped living in my head and allowed myself not to be awkward. I can definitely see how that would kill chemistry.

But at the same time, it's not like I can tell her this. I don't want to put the unpleasant burden on her of feeling cornered into reconsidering. Like, implicitly begging her "please give me another shot, I'll make things less awkward, promise!" Rejecting people is already difficult to do as it is, she shouldn't be forced to have to justify herself. Me still liking her is my problem, not hers. I respect her choice and don't want to damage the friendship with all that needy pressuring.

I just hope I really hit it off with one of the girls I'm tentatively scheduled to go out with soon, so that I won't be secretly pining for my friend or anything. The one from last week was great company, but I just wasn't feeling it.

teh b0lly!!1 03-18-2018 09:15 PM

i had a weird incident last night.

i went to drink some beer at my new fav bar, this kind of beer shop/hangout joint where you just have a bunch of nice chairs and sofas and some homely feeling stuff and that's it. so i'm sitting there alone, sipping on my beer, enjoying the downtime. suddenly this chinese dude comes up to me, going: "heyyo, what's up? are you waiting for a party or meet somone?!" and i'm like "uh i'm by myself", and he goes - well, would you like to try this beer? it's a wheat beer, and it's made by the company i work for, so have a try. he has a glass in his hand already, which he referred to as "a clean glass", and an open beer can. he pours some into the glass, and hands it to me. i smell it, and it smells great actually, i wanted to drink it.

but then i suddenly had this flash about organ theft and kidnapping and other fucked up shit, and i thought, this is basically a complete stranger trying to solicit me to drink something from an open container that could have been fucked with a million different ways, and i'm not going to take that chance. i mean, wouldn't it be very easy for anybody trying to pick up victims to go to a bar and quietly approach dudes sitting on their own, trying to get them to casually drink some beer you just tampered with?

anyway, so i said, "do you have a new can though?", and he grins at me and says "ah, yes, yes, this is a new can, just opened!", lol. so i just turned him down and said i don't feel comfortable drinking that if it's not from an unopened can.

not sure if i came off as a paranoid conspiracy theorist or just an asshole, but i may have just evaded rape/a lifetime of horror/waking up screaming in an ice bathtub without my spleen.

redbreegull 03-18-2018 09:17 PM

In the US I would drink the beer. In China, probably not.

Disco King 03-18-2018 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1 (Post 4427345)
i had a weird incident last night.

i went to drink some beer at my new fav bar, this kind of beer shop/hangout joint where you just have a bunch of nice chairs and sofas and some homely feeling stuff and that's it. so i'm sitting there alone, sipping on my beer, enjoying the downtime. suddenly this chinese dude comes up to me, going: "heyyo, what's up? are you waiting for a party or meet somone?!" and i'm like "uh i'm by myself", and he goes - well, would you like to try this beer? it's a wheat beer, and it's made by the company i work for, so have a try. he has a glass in his hand already, which he referred to as "a clean glass", and an open beer can. he pours some into the glass, and hands it to me. i smell it, and it smells great actually, i wanted to drink it.

but then i suddenly had this flash about organ theft and kidnapping and other fucked up shit, and i thought, this is basically a complete stranger trying to solicit me to drink something from an open container that could have been fucked with a million different ways, and i'm not going to take that chance. i mean, wouldn't it be very easy for anybody trying to pick up victims to go to a bar and quietly approach dudes sitting on their own, trying to get them to casually drink some beer you just tampered with?

anyway, so i said, "do you have a new can though?", and he grins at me and says "ah, yes, yes, this is a new can, just opened!", lol. so i just turned him down and said i don't feel comfortable drinking that if it's not from an unopened can.

not sure if i came off as a paranoid conspiracy theorist or just an asshole, but i may have just evaded rape/a lifetime of horror/waking up screaming in an ice bathtub without my spleen.

You made the right choice. I mean, what's the greater risk, looking slightly ungrateful to a total stranger you'll never see again, or ingesting shit of unknown origins that turns out to have more negative consequences for you than too many carbs or a hangover?

If it were me, since I'm such a spineless yes-man, I probably would have felt pressured into accepting it, and something bad could have happened to me. So, congrats on not being like me and having common sense and self-respect.

I don't think it's overly paranoid myself. Not only is it a weird thing to have happen in any situation, but you're also in a foreign country with lax human-rights enforcement and at a disadvantage at knowing your way around their institutions when compared to a national.

Even in her homeland, a woman might put a coaster overtop her drink before stepping out for a smoke or bathroom break, and many wouldn't accept drinks from a stranger.

You're not weird for being vigilant at all.

Ram27 03-18-2018 10:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Disco King (Post 4427336)
She told me that she thinks my fears are unfounded and that people like me, and that she personally has never tired of me, "despite the fact that we're awkward af in person."

I appreciate her telling me that, but at the same time, it seems to confirm that it was the awkwardness that killed it.

I really wouldn't worry about that. If you're into someone, you're into them, and anything awkward or weird they do makes you fall for them harder - it makes them seem cute and human.

reprise85 03-18-2018 10:22 PM

you did the right thing for sure, b0lly

slunken 03-18-2018 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Disco King (Post 4427350)

Even in her homeland, a woman might put a coaster overtop her drink before stepping out for a smoke or bathroom break,

foolproof

Disco King 03-18-2018 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ram27 (Post 4427387)
I really wouldn't worry about that. If you're into someone, you're into them, and anything awkward or weird they do makes you fall for them harder - it makes them seem cute and human.

So, what you're saying is that I'm deluding myself into thinking that if it weren't for my fumbling awkwardness, she would have been interested in me.

That's a harsh possibility, but probably something I need to hear to let go of the idea of dating her. Thanks!

Quote:

Originally Posted by slunken (Post 4427392)
foolproof

I forgot to mention the mousetrap atop the coaster.

pavementtune 03-18-2018 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slunken (Post 4427392)
Quote:

Originally Posted by Disco King (Post 4427350)

Even in her homeland, a woman might put a coaster overtop her drink before stepping out for a smoke or bathroom break,

foolproof

yea well, it's one of the first things I was told in, hm, middle school?, regarding going into whatever venues with friends and no parents.

In full nightclubs where everyone standing at a long bar has their drinks basically behind them, it's one way to at least make it harder for mass dropping tabs into glasses without anyone even noticing. once you start taking coasters off, someone might notice after all. the bartender, for one.

otherwise I guess this is the reason why bars and clubs in Berlin or Vienna have litte glass holders in the women bathroom stalls - you take your glass with you.

vixnix 03-19-2018 05:49 AM

How big are these drinks? Are people ordering like a fucking bucket of appletini or some shit, that they can't finish their drinks before they have to go pee?

myosis 03-19-2018 08:45 AM

bolly that was definitely shady. better safe than sorry.

Cool As Ice Cream 03-19-2018 08:48 AM

even if it was only beer, it was still a guy pushing his beer onto you for promotional purposes. non-digital spam. there is no obligation to go along with that. no excuses necessary.

FlamingGlobes 03-19-2018 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vixnix (Post 4427420)
How big are these drinks? Are people ordering like a fucking bucket of appletini or some shit, that they can't finish their drinks before they have to go pee?

I was thinking the same. :banging:

fuzzyroes 03-19-2018 07:39 PM

Hey B0lly, do you speak Chinese at all? Just wondering if it's something you'd need to know if one was to visit out there

FoolofaTook 03-19-2018 07:42 PM

why you going to toyko or something?

FlamingGlobes 03-19-2018 09:31 PM

Knowing fuzzy, probably just 4chan.

fuzzyroes 03-19-2018 10:51 PM

I'm proud to say that I don't even know what 4chan is. I heard it was some video game community though


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