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-   -   The Official Fri/Sat/Sun/Mon/Tue drunk/drugs/sad sex thread (http://forums.netphoria.org/showthread.php?t=185683)

smashingjj 02-05-2019 08:10 PM


FoolofaTook 02-05-2019 09:32 PM

hey i found that MONTHS ago. maybe even YEARS.

you thunder stealer!

redbreegull 02-05-2019 09:35 PM

Discount King

Disco King 02-06-2019 12:39 AM

The lowest prices in all the kingdom!

Shallowed 02-06-2019 07:24 AM


FoolofaTook 02-06-2019 02:57 PM






smashingjj 02-06-2019 03:00 PM

good old bappi

Disco King 02-09-2019 01:41 AM

So, I replied to some Randi's comment on a mutual friend's Instagram post. She replied something funny back, and added me. She looks cute.

I've never "slid into one's DMs" before. I feel like if I tried that, her reaction might be "gah, all I did was add a random guy on Instagram because I liked his funny comment, and now he's actually trying to talk to me; what a creep."

On top of that, I haven't got any photos of myself on my Instagram. So even if I did chat with her and find out she's interesting and ask for a coffee, she wouldn't have any incentive to take a chance on a mystery man who could be a gremlin, probably. Especially when she's got options that she can be reasonably sure aren't missing half their jaw due to an accident or something.

Oh god, it's pathetic that I'm even debating this.

Disco King 02-09-2019 01:46 AM

I do know a guy who's handsome enough that he's had women slide into his IG DMs and went on dates with them. He's also a loaded drug dealer with a fancy car.

The one he was telling me about, the girl told him that she dabs, so they did some dabs. Turns out she was probably lying about how often she did it and her tolerance, because she was just out like a light. The guy didn't know where she lives and she wasn't responsive enough to tell him, so he abandoned her at a train station.

Also, did I mention this guy has the intellect of Fuzzy, and is dull and shitty overall?

Shallowed 02-09-2019 01:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Disco King (Post 4497596)
So, I replied to some Randi's comment on a mutual friend's Instagram post. She replied something funny back, and added me. She looks cute.

So, when are you two getting married?

buzzard 02-09-2019 02:06 AM

That is right up there on the fucked scale, for sure. The train station thing, I mean.

If you have any photographs of yourself, we could panel the options and have you in the window quick smart.

Elphenor 02-09-2019 04:48 AM

DM lyfe

got any photos with a dog or with each arm casually extended around one of "the boys"

buzzard 02-09-2019 05:13 AM

Holding a barre chord while looking off into the distance?

Disco King 02-09-2019 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shallowed (Post 4497598)
So, when are you two getting married?

Four or five years?

She in the spring, and me in the autumn.

Quote:

Originally Posted by buzzard (Post 4497599)
That is right up there on the fucked scale, for sure. The train station thing, I mean.

If you have any photographs of yourself, we could panel the options and have you in the window quick smart.

Haven't really got any photographs of myself. I don't like having photos of myself, so I never take them. If a friend is taking photos, I usually duck out of frame. But friends rarely take photos of me, anyway. I think "taking photos with the pals" is something that women do more often with their female friends than men do with their male friends. Very rarely in the middle of a conversation has a male friend been like, "oh my god, we look so cute, lets take a photo!"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elphenor (Post 4497602)
DM lyfe

got any photos with a dog or with each arm casually extended around one of "the boys"

No such photos.

If I ever come to the point where I am resigned to doing online dating, though, I already know what kinds of photos would be necessary to allow for the possibility that somebody may take a second glance at me.

Photo 1: Photo of just me, perhaps a headshot, with no other people, so that there would be no ambiguity as to which person is me.

Photo 2: Me hanging out with friends, as evidence that I have a social life and am therefore less likely to be a creepy loner. Bonus points if the friends are women (pre-selection).

Photo 3: Me engaging in an activity or hobby that shows that I'm fun and perhaps a little social status. For example, playing onstage in a band or surfing or whatever (note that I currently participate in so such status-lending activities).

Photo 4: Me with a pet (note that I currently own no pets)

Photo 5: A silly picture to demonstrate my sense of humour and to show that I do not take myself too seriously.

I don't even know how I'd go about getting most of these photos taken, however.

ilikeplanets 02-09-2019 05:46 PM

all of those are instant turn offs except photo 1, but you probably don't want to meet anyone like me, ever

Shallowed 02-09-2019 05:49 PM

I think it's best not to overformulate these kind of things.

Disco King 02-09-2019 05:58 PM

"Just 🐝 yourself"

buzzard 02-09-2019 06:01 PM

How about the picture that yesterday's news took of you and post-ghost uploaded to her Instagram?

Lemons into lemonade.

Disco King 02-09-2019 06:03 PM

I'm going to be Trots in three years time, aren't I

Disco King 02-09-2019 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by buzzard (Post 4497629)
How about the picture that yesterday's news took of you and post-ghost uploaded to her Instagram?

Lemons into lemonade.

Incredibly under-exposed making me look like a shadow being. And since her art project was mixing drawing and photography, she drew over my eyes and rendered them these creepy glowing white things.

Did I mention that she's an alt model in Vancouver now who's been in the magazines?

Disco King 02-09-2019 06:15 PM

The under-exposure was all artsy-like and purposeful and shit, though, making me look like a silhouette before a wall of roses. So, it's not like I can even take satisfaction in knowing she's not a very skilled photographer or whatever. She's quite all right at it.

buzzard 02-09-2019 06:30 PM

Honestly, I've no idea how people manage to accumulate pictures of themselves looking at all comfortable.

You may need to task some photographer with the active role in a spot of exposure (lololol) therapy.

FoolofaTook 02-09-2019 06:42 PM

Photo 5: Close Up Cock Shot


Trust me, this one really works.

Cool As Ice Cream 02-10-2019 03:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Disco King (Post 4497628)
"Just 🐝 yourself"

scientist are trying to make bees but they cannot make bees

Shallowed 02-10-2019 08:38 PM


slunken 02-11-2019 06:22 PM

oh wow

they really do be like that

how clever

how strange

how interest

<3 for repost

Shallowed 02-11-2019 10:11 PM

ok

vixnix 02-12-2019 04:53 AM

Bees are in trouble I hear. My dad blames America and says they have poisoned all New Zealand bees with their horrible bee diseases because it is a terrible evil country full of greedy capitalists

Greedy capitalists and diseased bees

A sad state of affairs indeed

Shallowed 02-12-2019 05:30 AM


Disco King 02-23-2019 01:00 AM

I organized a pub crawl tonight.

It's actually happening right now, and actually going well. I actually was the one to organize the social event this time, instead of just passively going to one.

I invited a million people knowing only a few would end up coming, and I'm happy with the crowd. Having a good time.


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