How are you feeling?
 

I'm sad.

Not going to elaborate.

Feel free to elaborate or not elaborate.

But, you know. How's it going?

Taking the Trump news hard, eh?

I'm feeling anxious and overwhelmed.

But I'm also being appreciably more productive than I have been in the past few years, where I've started to respond to these emotions with avoidance.

Still not productive enough to be on track, though.

I feel good. I've been focusing on all the positive things in my life, so the other stuff just seems manageable and little. I feel like I'll figure everything out eventually. The big things are going well, which is scary because you wonder how long that'll last.

I had nice plans for january but they all fell apart because a close friend is getting dumped by her (soon to be ex) husband so I'm worried about her

she was great to me when I was separating from my ex, I hope I'll be as good of a friend as she was

shitty year
I'm glad it's almost over

i'm sick. every day i see or hear about something that makes me want to die.

i'm sorry took.

hope my oversharing didn't... yeah i mean i'm sure that contributed. sorry dude

don't be silly reprise. you have nothing to be sorry about. me feeling a little low for a couple of hours cannot even begin to compare to what you have been through.

I've been riding the sad train a lot lately, too.

Work is okay, my girlfriend of four years is awesome, as always. I'm paying my bills just fine. I just have this overwhelming feeling of sadness and pointlessness. Can't quite settle into a groove. Been drinking more to stave off boredom. All the shit that used to work for me, make me feel good, etc. seems to have dried up in the last year or two.

I think a big part of it is that I need someone or something to take care of. Losing my dog was an unexpectedly heavy blow. I knew it would hurt, but didn't realize how deep and profound it was going to hit me.

Anyway, here's Wonderwall.

Sorry for everyone's pain. ***hugs***

Imma get a cat or a dog as soon as I settle down. that should help.

i don't want to add to anyone's misery, regardless of what i went through. you know?

my cat fucking loves me and i love her she's awesome

Things are good for me generally. Work is going alright, get to work from home which is awesome. I don't make a lot, but more than I ever have, and enough to live in a good area and not need roommates.

But I still have barely any relationships and I have a lot of dissociative symptoms that I am starting to doubt will ever go away. I mean I used to doubt it, but I had some hope at least, because I believe my therapist when she says she's seen people get better with bad derealization. But honestly it's just not better.

Someone posted this on Reddit and it's a really good visual for what it can be like

Basically things have improved a lot but they still suck and I'm grateful but also disappointed.

I think my inner peace can probably grow but I don't think I'm going to be socially close to anybody. I could meet a person that somehow really likes me and puts forth some kind of gigantic effort to overcome my walls but it seems like a low probability and I totally understand that.

It's funny how all kinds of bad shit happened to me but the worst thing is what I actually lost developmentally and not certain traumatic events in particular.

I wish I had something intelligent or profound to offer. You've been through the sort of stuff that my own experiences don't even touch the tip of. Or something.

That said, I think you're good people and I'm rooting for you. From what I've seen/read, you've worked really hard to achieve some sense of normalcy and happiness, which you totally deserve. I know it can be incredibly hard feeling like you're perpetually rolling the rock uphill, but I hope you keep pushing.

I put on a playlist of some of my favorite Mountain Goats songs.

Mountain Goats always make me feel better, somehow.

Thanks man. I am very grateful things have gotten better. I really did not foresee living this long and being off disability and generally in the mild spectrum of depression. Ten years ago I was in and out of hospitals and 10 years before that I was enduring some really terrible shit.

So it feels whiny complaining but you know, life is empty as fuck still. I do have my cat who is FANTASTIC and keeps me sane for sure.

I hope you can feel better as well. I'm glad things are going generally well. But, like, wasn't life supposed to be different by now?

Also I am very sorry about your doggy. :(

imma give them a listen. never have. where should i start? or just roll with popular on spotify?

oh wait yeah i've heard this before

I totally get this sentiment.

Regarding my dog, I think a big part of the hurt was not having a second animal to love in his absence. If I can suggest something, it would be to get another cat in the near future, that way when your current kitty's day comes, you'll have a companion who will help you through it.

And I don't think you sound whiny. Existence is pain. It doesn't discriminate. If it keeps you sane in the real world and keeps you from ripping into real people in your real life, I say vent away with reckless abandon here.

I would start with Tallahassee and The Sunset Tree. Those are their big ones. We Shall All Be Healed and Heretic Pride also. Their early stuff (pre All Hail West Texas) can be an acquired taste, but they have a pretty large and pretty incredible body of work to choose from.

If you're looking for a single song or songs to get started, give This Year, Cotton or No Children a spin.

I feel sick with worry because I have a final interview for a job tomorrow. I’m really worried I’ll screw it up. I’ve prepared but my brain is so broken I can’t keep all the information and answers in my head :(

Sorry to hear people are feeling crummy. :(

u postin while poopin again?

not u vixnix that was for flobes

I never post while pooping, so I suppose I can let my self esteem be boosted by that. I might be a failure in all respects except that one

I have it on good authority that women don't poop.

I make a point of leaving my phone on the table whenever I leave to go to the bathroom. It's a statement. A power move. I'm not like you heathens. I don't use the phone on the toilet. I am above that.

I mean, I don't get the logic of it. I wash my hands after I take a shit for a reason. Why would I touch an object in the interim between taking that shit and washing my hand, when I know I'm going to be using that object some time after I wash my hands?

Need I remind everyone that this is Hatephoria

All your problems are, uh, they're all because you're white and overprivileged and they don't compare to real suffering, so shut up and stop pretending you're not super well-off, assholes

Assholes

I've been having a little trouble with some of my medications and maybe having to get off some and on others and it's been it's been a rough month, but I think I'm starting to come out of the woods and I've had a lot of support

Life is surprisingly okay otherwise; last year largely sucked shit despite some good major life events, but things seem to be stabilizing a bit recently