Netphoria's Official Substance Abuse Support Group Thread
 

Got an addiction you wanna kick but don't know how? Need support? Encouragement? Need to be flogged repeatedly when you fall off the wagon? Come on in!

This thread isn't just for fuzzy, but it's mostly for him. ITT we document our struggles with teh b00ze!!1 and the weeds and whatnot.

Disclaimer: this is a sincere thread. Anyone can and should post here. Seeing as how there are a handful of 'Phorians here who have kicked addiction, perhaps they can help the select few who have mentioned they would either like to cut back or quit their vice of choice.

does this have anything to do with my post in the I Know What You Did Last Summer Chat Thread?

this thread is not needed

every thread is about this at some point

Well, I was thinking about it last night for fuzzy but yes your post did add to the motivation for me to finally do it today.

What's your favorite 3eb deep cut?

i actually read a book recently called Drinking: A Love Story and it highlighted for me what I already knew...alcoholics start drinking for different reasons, but we drink the same way. It was essentially an auto-biography about her addiction and I could identify with her even though she came from well-off parents and was born with a silver spoon in her mouth.

for me, reading and listening to people keep it real about their addiction is the best way to identify my own behavior because otherwise it just seems like the right thing to do. i told my therapist i wanted to attend an NA/AA session (again. they were court appointed after i failed a drug test (by using meth) when on probation for a dui and all i did was meet someone who introduced me to heroin and got drunk with me) but i'm kinda chicken about it especially since i'm not a hardcore everyday drinker like i used to be so i almost feel like i'm not "bad enough" to be there and everyone in the meeting would say "what is this loser doing here?"

Mods please merge with 'A Suggestion for Poots'

because of that, my therapist suggested i read Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget. i'm a reader so i get the most out of reading and she called it "bibliotherapy".

Well, it seems to me that you're catching it before it becomes a full-blown addiction, so why not nip it in the bud now?

I've had the same thoughts in the past. I'm not enough of a drunk, no one cares, blah blah. But when it feels like shit (spiritually, not necessarily physically) then that's as good an indication as any other that it's time to make some changes.

the thing is that it has been a full-blown addiction and still might be- i don't want to think about it anymore which i why i want to quit. i ended up the hospital at 19 (this was an overdose on a greyhound bus and i had to be resuscitated and care-flighted), several times at 21, and 23, and blacked out too many times to count and my mom even found me passed out naked on thanksgiving on my bedroom floor. and i will always feel a little shitty for showing up to my bro's jp wedding on meth (i only did that shit because there was nowhere else to go but down) and looking like a freak in the photos. luckily i hate his wife and don't care so much at this point- plus, they are divorcing.

i curbed my drinking a lot on my own since then because i've actually found a focus and purpose. but i'm just ready to be rid of it for good.

When I was 19 I started smoking weed and within a few months was smoking it 24/7. I was hanging out with my friend who I knew since age 2, but hadn't seen for about 5 years when I moved away, and he was a big pothead. He started selling it and some pills. I was taking painkillers about once a week and eventually every other day was my rule, and I was semi-ok on that until I was 22. The big tipping moment for me was getting bronchitis and being scripted hydrocodone syrup, which I combined with my normal oxy dose, which was my first really "breaking" of my rules that were getting less and less restrictive where I just said fuck all the rules. I mean this was coming on for a while and I knew I was in trouble, but I remember making this choice and knowing I was dooming myself at that moment.

Cue about a year of straight addiction, stealing, losing jobs, being robbed, even a few cases of ripping people off. My PTSD for previous events was also coming on strong, and eventually I started self harming, and finally starting talking to a therapist about what happened to me and shortly after that confessed I was addicted to opiates and also went inpatient to a PTSD psych hospital program for the first time. This was 2008. I turned 23 in that hospital.

From then until about 2010 I was using off and on, eventually I went on suboxone treatment for a few months, and got off of it and I've never been physically addicted to opiates again since then.

However, until recently I hid from almost everyone that I was still doing them on and off, and honestly if I had had steady access to them I prob would have been addicted again at some point. Even now that would be a problem.

So the last time I took any opiates was actually right around a year ago at this point. I did take some benzos and whatever after that because I was stupid, they didn't even make me feel much of anything. I finally told my therapist I'd been lying about 6 months ago and I legit haven't taken any substances since then, except maybe about 5 alcoholic drinks total in that time. Which are not off limits for me, because for some reason I never have a problem with it and I don't think it's such a big deal. But I know I can't have access to any type of pills, or weed, or I'll just use them without much control.

I was in NA for quite a while and did much better once I stopped going. They pissed me off a lot because when I was on suboxone maintenance people treated me exactly the same as if I was getting high every day and it's not the same thing, and treating it as such only leads to people continuing to use their DOC because they think the only way to stop is cold turkey and maintenance is bullshit. BUT it's not. Without suboxone I might never have gotten clean for real. And if someone needs to take a little but of subs every day for the rest of their life but otherwise is normal, how the fuck is that any different from taking an antidepressant or something? It's not making them high.

That combined with other hypocrisies and just learning a lot about the history of AA/NA and lack of scientific evidence backing it, made me dislike it immensely. Also things like if you use it's your own fault but if you don't it's all cuz of the program. Calling all of your characteristics personality flaws. Basically it tears you down to build you back up as a program drone but I don't like that strategy at all. But it is probably better than using for some people. For those who have a strong belief in God it might be OK. It was not for me.

del

Don't try to drown your demons, they eventually learn to swim.

I drink too much caffeine

This thread is really an intervention for fuzzy. He'll be coming through that door any minute now.

I'm kinda addicted to being a vegetable and not doing shit when I know I should. Just surfing the web aimlessly, not doing anything productive or even fulfilling. If I'm going to procrastinate, I may as well put off things I need to do for things that actually provide self-care, like reading, tidying up, or engaging in my hobbies. But I have zero energy or motivation to do anything at all. I guess that's kinda like an addiction (more like a pattern of maladaptive behaviour I guess), so I need to work on that.

Also, food. I eat when I'm not hungry, and I eat a lot of candy. It feels like an addiction. I can't pull myself away from it even when I know I shouldn't have it. I gorge myself.

ur pretty gorge urself

I'd like to literally kill any feeling I have right now. How can I do that?

suicide would be pretty effective

I feel this just fucking waste my days off and then I'm at work like damn if I just had time I could record an album and look for a better job

it takes such a monumental effort to motivate myself to do anyyythingggg that doesn't have consequences if I neglect it

Post here more! :)

D, what is your favorite 3eb deep cut?

Same. I think this is a pretty common thing, though. I used to tell myself it was because I was too tired on my days off to do anything (and sometimes that's true) but I've had far too many days off in the last year that just felt like glorious wastes of time.

Maybe I just need a second job.

yeah I can relate to this. I used to believe I was just a lazy asshole because that's what my parents made me think, but I think I'm just so anxious everything is too hard for me and it's easier to do nothing and not induce heart palpitations

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