haha

do the crowds in Singapore tend to stare and make you feel anxious and self aware?

one of the things i really like about China (and very seldom, miss about home) is that nobody cares about you. nobody will stare at you or acknowledge you in that slightly way that makes you feel awkward unless you're REALLY being obnoxious. they have thick skin. so even though i live in a city of approximately 30 million lives, there's a sense of anonymity and i feel like i have the freedom to be as weird as i need to be. i figured it would be kinda similar in SG, especially with about 70% of the population there being Chinese. not quite the same, i know, but...

ahahaha, your son rules.

thing is though, how do I put it. obviously a 12 year old doesn't give a damn if they stare at him or not. but - you do? because.... why? because they are also looking at YOU, standing next to him?

I don't know what it is lately, I haven't been comfortable with people looking at me since I hit puberty really. Lately, I just don't care anymore, maybe this is getting old or something. it feels really nice to not care.

I've always wanted to turn invisible in public spaces.

The weather here is so cold it hurts.

i'm uber self conscious. it blows cthulhic dong.

Yeah, I reckon China really nails that so many fucking people. never going to see them again after today. I just give no fucks about any of them, anymore vibe. From my limited experience.

Singapore is weird because up to 40% of residents are foreigners. And there's a lot of resentment over the difference in income. People who are struggling find it pretty easy to hate expats, and because we live in a local area where all the expats are super rich and drive cars, we're often the only foreigners on the train. So weirdly, I do kinda feel like people are staring. Only poorer locals catch the train - cars are a status symbol here, so as soon as you can afford one, you get one I think. It's like having a maid.

I think in Australia or New Zealand I would probably still be a bit embarrassed and might even still say that to him, but more in a lighthearted way, making it clear that it was my issue and he could do what he wanted. But here...it's weird.

The 'meritocratic' way that the country is organised and its citizens are rewarded, makes conformity and deference to elders the height of virtue for children and young people. A young person who heeds the advice of their parents, to forego anything except the pursuit of A++ top marks, so can go A++ top marks university, become doctor lawyer, is seen as wise and valuable.

Not all, but many locals see expat children as slovenly brats who lack discipline, waste all their time pursuing instant gratification because their parents lack the wisdom and discipline to guide and teach them properly.

Basically it's me trying to avoid a situation where we are targets/scapegoats for all the resentment flying around.

So part of it is self-protection, like, if the island falls into a State of Nature, I don't want to be first in the guillotine. And part of it is teaching my kids that sometimes, the way you present yourself in a situation, affects more than just you, and sometimes it's worth suppressing urges that you have - to be loud, to move, etc., because the situation requires you to be quiet, respectful, etc. Like...this is not our country. So while we are here, we'll try to observe local customs, to be respectful.

I did not consider that, no experience whatsoever in that regard. only thing I remember was that I always felt I might look sloppy, move sloppy, eat sloppy, while in Tokyo. I felt filthy and somehow like a caveman in comparison everywhere.

now I imagine you standing on a train with your son and having the Idol Mom context in the back of your hand "they are thinking we absolutely failed, like look what he does with his elbows."

I forgot earlier, but I was actually raised with constant um... well. "behave" comments. for much, much longer than just to age 12.
sit straight. stand straight. watch when you turn on the train, don't you realize you are bumping into people with your backback. close your mouth while chewing. don't talk so loud, nobody around wants to hear that.

If I keep going I might be able to remember 10 pages worth of comments from Mom and Gran and brothers combined. I likely hated it while it happened, but god damn, every single time a teen or even adult shoves their god damn backpack into my face I think for a second "man, you were raised like shit."

haha yeah, me too, if i'm honest. Just for a second.

Well...sometimes longer, if i'm honest. :erm:

the "for a second" was a straight up lie, I can spend days on that.

In fact, I do spend some time every day giving the parents of a 50 year old coworker D-grades in my head, because to this day, this fucker hasn't learned any eating manners and it's driving me nuts.

when I watch the food falling out of his face, directly across from me, I imagine him being 6 years old and shoving his face to the plate until he learns to god damn keep the food in his mouth. now that's a :erm: statement. I believe in punishment. it's for the greater good, for the annoyance level of everyone who will ever eat close to this person.

this is me exactly. i actually get mad at myself for having common decency and letting the lack of it in others drive me crazy to the point of anger.

a woman walked onto my quiet bus two morning ago just gabbing on the phone and oblivious to the fact she was being intrusive (and breaking CTA rules)- just straight up spoiled behavior. i had my headphones on and turned them up, but i could still make out her voice so i took out my right earbud and turned to where she was standing and loudly said 'Can you have you private conversations in private? I can hear you over my headphones and they're pretty loud. It was quiet on here before you got on the bus'.

Worked like a charm, but the fact people need to be told or asked to behave as if the world doesn't revolve around them is infuriating.,

yea I get mostly mad at myself really. which is why I have for the most part given up on this phone stuff. I realized one day I sound as annoying as my own damn mother, and I am just setting myself up to hear things like "what's our problem, bitch?" - YOU ARE.

what I cannot hold in however is people having their naked feet on seats. what still baffles me is that not only teens are doing that, putting their filthy naked feet on seats in public transport. oh no. the past 3 in one week I saw doing that were all women over 40. somehow I didn't get the recent memo "let's all behave like shit now, nobody exists but myself" that must have been widely circulated in the past 5 years.

Especially enjoyed the woman diagonally across from me on the train yesterday. the seat next to me on my side was empty, which is where she put her feet on. and then started to paint her toe nails. including poking around on the skin surrounding the nail. like 3 damn inches from me. on what fucking planet do you do pedicure on public transport. on this planet, apparently.

reminds me of this kid who used the teacher's pencils to clean her toenails in 4th grade. i always brought my own pencils EVERYWHERE after witnessing that. still can't get that image out of my head 20 years later. ew.

Yeah, table manners are very important to me. My youngest is always hungry, because of his epilepsy medication, and if he has poor self control on any given night, he will SCRAPE HIS METAL SPOON OR FORK ACROSS THE CERAMIC PLATE ARRGGGHHHH just to get the last few bits of food.

I'm such a bitch mom :( that I don't even say anything any more, just his name. Then he freezes and looks up at me and sees me glaring at him, and apologises.

Just. No.

My older son eats pastries like a fucking squirrel, oh man it drives me mental. He just loves pastries so much and we so rarely buy them (especially in Singapore), he will break off little bits with his fingertips and then nibble those little bits. Crumbs fucking everywhere, his chin, his hands, the plate, the table, the floor. It is horrendous. He looks especially 'special needs adult' on those occasions. I have hissed many an under the breath tirade at him in cafes, about his eating habits.

I am hopeful that by they time they are independent adults, they will just eat normally, no nibbling, no scraping, no eating off knives

This is.....WTF. Was this in Berlin?

I think she would have been arrested and caned for doing that, here...

nah Belfast, not Berlin, but I've seen someone shaving their head hair off in public transport in Berlin, so you know. in that guy's "defense", he might have been on crack or something like that, but this pedicure woman appeared 100% sober. I watched her nails taking on paint for 10 minutes straight, and she didn't mess it up once, not even a dot of paint. impressive!

there was a woman on the train in india peeling dead skin off her feet. she was also farting and burping loudly.
this was in a first class compartment that holds four.

i think the kids' horrendous table manners will improve with age, vix. i used to rip up sandwiches and refuse to let different foods come into contact with each other and eat candy bars in a similarly squirrely way but i stopped doing all that by my early teens. if one of their peers draws attention to it, it will change immediately, but otherwise it's just part of being a weirdo kid and will normalize.

she paid to do whatever she wanted. get over it!

no! you get over it!

I've been awarded enough money in Pell Grants to return to school this fall now that I'm 24 =)

help me i'm at work

https://scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.net...b7&oe=5BBDCFCC

I AM IN JERUSALEM!!!

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D

how u like it?

you should go to the church of the holy sepulchre

It's like a dream, bro. City of David fucking pwns. What an awesome place.

And you better believe I am going to a service in the Holy Sepulchre.

Also I got food poisoning from my first falafel feast, from some ritzy place on Mamila. Spent all night puking and pooping. Now I have to sweep and clean and shop... sigh.

yeah dude. i'm, like, totally only listening to OM and SLEEP for the next seven weeks. and looking for hashish like a true desert pilgrim.

I went to an Israeli restaurant the other night and when I first walked in the AC was out so it was hot as shit and I could smell falafel and za'atar and shwarma and also there was no line, just a rush of people at the counter, and I had a serious poignant flashback/was triggered as fuck by all the crazy shit that happened when I was there

it was a moment. enjoy jerusalem

it is so cool. everything is made of stone. and there are tourists from all over the world. and so many little shops with all sorts of cool shit.

definitely go to the temple mount if you can. it was never open to whities/jews/foreigners anytime I was there