Ol couch ass are you ok aka nhl playoffs
 

Dude what

Ol COUCH ASS, R U OKAY?

R U OKAY?

R U O.K., OL' COUCH ASS?!

I was considering making a thread but I didn’t want to steal your thunder.

Time to finally replace my Kunitz jersey with a Kessel jersey.

Ol Couch Ass, OK?

Dude wtf. They looked so good and just farted it away.

But if Tampa also loses I’ll be cool with it. Don’t wanna get spoiled.

If I know him like I think I know him he’s prob not ok.

Tampa and Pittsburgh are now both going to win 4 straight making this thread mostly irrelevant.

I believe in the Pens still. They’re capable of turning this around. Pretty terrible spot they’re in now. Game 2 was a shit show but game 1 wasn’t too impressive either.

At least the Steelers are go- fml.

WHAT THE FUCK

FUCKFUCKFUCK

Hnnngggggg. Fuck...

Just watched game 4 after working until 0300. Absolutely gutted.

It's a choke job of historic proportions. Granted, losing our Norris defending 1st D for the series certainly didn't help. He may have been there physically early, but was clearly still concussed after missing the last 4 games of the season after getting his noodle rocked on an awkward hit. I'm amazed he managed to dress when he seemed neurologically compromised. I just hope he isn't seriously scrambled as he is our most valuable player overall. Jesus christ our D in this series was a fucking disgrace. The team neurologist should be struck with a phonebook.

Our top forwards started their yearly swoon a few rounds early this year. Kuch is an amazing player but never gets his footing going in the playoffs. He's rattled by physical play. Not afraid, just gets pissed and tries to play like a power forward when he's not. Losing him for game 3 on a stupid fucking hit wasn't great. He was just trying to run guys for parts of the series and passing to ghosts. Stamkos had his best season since destroying his leg, but once again couldn't find space when it counted. 1 goal and like 7 posts, another Stammer stunner. Point gets a pass, he's still early on in his career and though mostly invisible in game 4, he didn't make many glaring turnovers like so many teammates.

Vasy, WTF? So rattled and not up to standard. Why you forget how to stop every screened shot? Outplayed by Bob. I hope he isn't getting a case of the yips.

Cooper stood behind the bench chomping gum, sucking balls, and getting outcoached per usual. He wants to be the next Barry Trotz but he'll never win a cup. His only in game adjustments involve swapping the dicks of the other team's head and associate coaches out of his mouth. Our special teams were special ed- no offense to the retarded for the comparison to Coop. We stupidly signed him to an extension before the playoffs. Our owner has more money than God- so we should fire him. Fuck it- just consider his salary bad money and make him twirl a sign outside the stadium or something. It's going to be hilarious when he 1 signs a huge extension 2 finishes a historically good regular season 3 gets fired 4 wins the Jack Adams all within three months.

The team hadn't played a meaningful game in 2019 and it showed. CBJ fought to get into the playoffs, and it showed. Full credit to them as they played at a high level. Even if regular season TBL managed to show up, Columbus would've given them all they could handle. Torts has that team flying and I hope they destroy the Caps if it comes to it. He game planned for us perfectly and our coach duh duh duh couldn't figure it out.

Heads have to roll. You can't fire the whole team, so you have to fire Cooper. We weren't ready for the playoffs after playing globetrotters for 3 months and it's unforgivable.

Fuck hockey. I can't wait for global warming to melt every patch of fucking ice on this miserable planet. I know you're bummed too, Eulogy. But the Pens haven't been Cup starved for the last decade and a half. You have multiple HD videos of Pens hoisting Cups. I have only an early gen DVD of Dave Andreychuk getting Stanley and he's AARP aged.

But really, fuck all sports. I'm a fucking Lightning, Dodger and Buccaneer fan. How's that for a trifecta of misery. Two really good regular season teams full of playoff chokers and post season futility. And, an NFL franchise that is forever in disarray. It's a good thing Jameis doesn't live on eating W's alone, because he'd fucking starve. By the time we're done with Bruce Arians, he'll have wished doctors hadn't discovered his kidney cancer early enough.

Did you see Puig go deep on Kershaw in his first at bat back at Dodger stadium? I wish it could have hit the face of every member of the front office obsessed with advanced stats instead of watching the fucking games. Oh, Puig was a headache? Well, he's one of the few Dodgers who had any fucking spark in the playoffs last year. "Oh, but his dëWARit* was 1 fake unit below replacement last year, better trade him to dump the salaries of Kemp and Wood and replace him with AJ fucking Pollock. Limp dick fish man is supposed to at least rake for 50 games before he cripples himself for the season and he can't even do that. We're going to somehow win the NL West again, we're going to go the World Series again, and we're going to fucking lose again. And Dave Roberts will change pitchers 7 times in one inning at some point this season, just because he can (for now).


But, I'm cool :mad::cry::hanging:




































*information technology

Buccaneers too? You have my sympathy.

Sorry buddy!

I’m not too bummed about the pens because they’ve looked mediocre at best all year. Wasn’t gonna happen for ‘em and I’m glad I don’t have to suffer through anymore.

The worst part, is this pretty much ruins the fucking playoffs for me. I just don't know how much I'll be able to stomach and I usually watch a ton of non-Lightning games. Hockey is such a silly sport- anyone who gives a shit about it is a total hoser. :cry:

Thank you.

When I die, I want 2 Lightning, Dodger and Bucs players to be my pallbearers so that they can let me down just one more time...

i took my dad to 3 bruins playoff games this year, game 5 in first round vs. toronto, which they lost. next game was game 2 of stanley cup finals, bruins lost again. i took him again last night to game 7. lost. brutal. unforgettable season, tough way to end it. felt down the whole day. still not over 2013 to be honest, but this one is worse.

at least the blues didn't make the bruins wait too long for the handshakes. dirty head hunting fucks for almost the entirety of the playoffs, but i'll give them respect for that at least.

we stayed until the Bs left the ice and then we left, didn't want to see the Cup in person going to the blues

then we sat in traffic in the parking garage for 45 minutes, and then drove home listening to the idiots on talk radio with endless bad takes, brutal. got home by like 1 am, couldn't sleep of course. and today of course has been like having a big hangover.

i am still thankful. 3 SCF appearances in 9 years, i recognize i'm lucky to be a fan of a team that did that, even if we're 1 and 2 for it.

and chara is a legend.

^ On that, we can agree. I hate the Bruins (never forget the ECF in 2011!) but have nothing but respect for big Z. As bitter as I remain about the Lightning's flameout, I still found myself grinning from ear to ear watching the Blues skate the Cup. There's something about that trophy and the effort and struggle that it represents that is different than any other.

Now that the playoffs are over, where does EK65 end up? Lots of gossip that he wants to join his BFF Hedman in Tampa but he's going to have to take a haircut on his contract size if he wants to come to the gulf coast. If Tampa pulls it off, they'll have an NBA styled super team which will make our collapse next spring even more impressive.

wi really think he's one of the best leaders the game has seen. i don't think the boston fans realize what a remarkable captain we have. i mean, they get it, but not fully as this is tom brady's town. but from me too, nothing but respect for Z.


ordinarily i'm the same as you, it's magical, and i'm able to put aside whatever shitty ending my team had enough to enjoy the spectacle and the achievement. but when it's a loss on your home ice, game 7, you're there in person with your dad who you text with every 82 games of the season.. it was too much, and we left so we didn't have to see it. first time i haven't seen the cup ceremony since.. well probably i missed it a year or two as a depressed as fuck early 20s something guy, but other than that.. i've watched just about every damn one since i've been like 10 years old, aside from this one.


was not expecting him to sign with san jose for some reason. i saw a journalist tweet that bobby orr's career was over after 657 games (8 consecutive norris trophies). and erik karlsson signed a $92m deal after playing 680 games. kind of interesting.

also, i met tie domi tonight in the elevator. what a boss

hey Ol' Couch Ass, I had to find this thread and bump it because... dude. holy shit. the end of game 4 was one of the most surreal things ever. i wanted that goal to go in so badly, i can't imagine what it was like for you. as in, are you alive? or did your brain explode?

here is context for those who didn't see the game: the bolts are down by 1 goal, one of their best players is in the penalty box and their net is empty, they'd hardly touched the puck in the last few minutes when this happens in the dwindling seconds of the game:


sick touch pass by kucherov, ridiculous composure and creativity by mcdonagh, had the goalie and defender beat, and then this psycho slides through the crease and stops it as time is about to expire, what a dick

now that i think about it, there must have been a more recent hockey thread than this, but i was searching "NHL" -- my bad

It's all good- in honor of Eulogy, I'm just going to use this thread for NHL talk from here on out.

That play at the end of game 4- it was almost too much to take. Watching live, I didn't realize what an amazing play it was. It has to be crazy to play with Kucherov as the second you touch the ice, you better have your stick down and be ready to receive the puck. If he sees you with a little space, he'll find you. It doesn't matter how the defense is set up or where the sticks and legs are. He'll either rattle off a little one toucher like this or loop and curl around until he has a passing lane. His instinct for distribution is nearly unmatched. Likewise, great play by McD there. Varly completely shut down his angle and that little spin-o-rama was perfectly executed. On the replay, you can't do shit but tip your hat to Pulock and move on to the next one. If the Isles manage to take the Cup down this year, that is a play that we'll be seeing for a long time.

If we hadn't won the Cup last year, I'd have been sick for the last 48 hours. It would feel like another sign that this Tampa team is cursed and missing some X factor. But, with a ring already secured, I'm at peace with it as if you're going to win a Cup you're going to have your heart broken a few times in the process and this Tampa team has learned over the past 5-6 years is to keep an even keel. The most impressive stat over our current run is that the Lightning are 9-0 since the beginning of the 2020 playoffs when coming off a loss and that's how you rattle off series wins. There's no quit in Tampa and I expect our A game back home tonight.

Not exactly a hot take, but it's pretty obvious that Barry Trotz is one of the best coaches in league. This Isles team reminds me of lots of those Nashville teams that were ever present in the playoffs over the past ten years. But, this Isles squad has better offensive instincts. They play a true team concept that's hard to break down (It's a neo-Trap!) and have made the Bolts work for every inch. Tonight's game is going to be a war but I think we take it down 3-1 (3rd goal empty net). But, I think the Islanders take down a Cup at some point in the next 3 years.

That shriveled monkey's paw I found back in 2019 really worked out well. Three championship rings and I'm still waiting for the worldwide calamity that the old man who sold it to me promised if I misused it. Oh, wait...

that play is bananas

Isles used up alllll of their puck luck at the end of game 4. :banging:

i dig it


yeah seriously. semi-relatedly, i was watching Game 1 from stanley cup finals 1992, it's got osme of the greats in there, lemieux, jagr, stevens, francis, roenick, etc. etc. -- this is not a hot take either, but the biggest takeaway for me after watching 20 minutes was how SLOOOOOOOOOOW the game was compared to today. put Tampa's top line, or the Bruins's top line, on the ice for a couple shifts in this game and it would seem supernatural.
https://www.nhl.com/video/1992-stanl...1H56PRbhGh1XJY
i pay for the nhl package thingie, so not sure if that link will work


haha yeah man, winning a recent cup is one heck of a balm against the sting of shit going badly in the present. being 10 years on the other side.. that effect starts to wear off haha


yeah what a fucking boss


game 7, here we go