i've fucking been to rehab tho, what the fuck else is there
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i've been to jail too, albeit not for very long. neither are some guaranteed fix
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WHO GAVE YOU REASON
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i never went to rehab, and i tried AA/NA but i didnt work too well for me.
there are alternative ways to get clean but the prerequisite is to want to get clean. unless you get arrested. |
sometimes it seems like people really understand why you're "acting strange" or need some time to get your shit together/figured out or whatever when there's a hard-drug or two involved
that sounds a lot more pity-party-inciting than i want it to i guess, only party i'm tryna start right now is one with a satisfying amount of nuggets, mcnuggets |
i don't think not wanting to is an excuse, it's a sincere statement. i'm not excusing nothin', yo
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you gotta move to a state that will give you medicaid so you can get suboxone and therapy. try to find a place around you with sliding scale therapy.
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move how, also we can't leave cuz b has that charge and he has to go thru court first
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i know it's hard ilp, with your stomach pain and dope sickness and a decade plus of using drugs everyday, but life really is better when you're not addicted to dope. much better.
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we moved six times last year, in three states
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just continue to use until you OD or go to prison then i guess.
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i didn't start this conversation okay
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it makes me happy to be able to get up in the morning and not have a panic attack and puke until i get some opiate in me it makes me happy to have friendships that arent based on getting high it makes me happy to not have to worry about the police every time i leave my house it makes me happy to not have to have an agenda every day for how i am going to get high, to not have to come up with scams or do shady things it makes me happy to not have to throw up after i've gotten the drugs but haven't found a place to take them yet i mean take your fucking pick |
it makes me happy to not have to worry about getting diseases from sharing drug paraphernalia
it makes me happy to know i am self sufficient and have a little bit of money in the bank (a couple hundred bucks is a lot better than absolutely nothing) it makes me happy to get regular medical care |
i don't know, that just sounds like things you don't have that make life easier. doesn't seem especially satisfying to me. i am hard to please i guess.
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why do people persue happiness instead of peace?
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i get bored easily, it's fucked. then anxious and you know the progression
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peace is so permanent, things aren't permanent for me. and happiness is what makes life worth it, personally. extremes
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inner peace is where its at.
often comes with happiness though. Or is it the opposite. |
they're not mutually exclusive i guess because i am happy often but rarely peaceful
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most people who think life is worth it aren't on drugs all the time |
pretty much everyone who's on drugs all the time is sad
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if you're chasing happiness in a needle you're doing it wrong
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i think people can be always at peace though |
what do i know though
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i'll peace when i'm dead
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yeah peace always seems like calm before the storm or the surrender before death or somethin
prob just in this crazy world tho |
crraaaazy crraaazy world
crraaaazy crraaazy times |
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