bill maher: "hillary=france"

[Karl Connor]

from salon

"Hillary equals France"

I hate to sink the GOP's toy boat, but it was the French who inspired the U.S. Constitution, a document written by geniuses so it could be followed by idiots.

By Bill Maher
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May 4, 2007 | New Rule: Conservatives have to stop rolling their eyes every time they hear the word France. Like just calling something French is the ultimate argument winner. "Aw, you want a healthcare system that covers everybody and costs half as much? You mean like they have in France? What's there to say about a country that was too stupid to get on board with our wonderfully conceived and brilliantly executed war in Iraq?"

Earlier this year, the Boston Globe got hold of an internal campaign document from GOP contender Mitt Romney, and a recurring strategy was to tie Democrats to the hated French. It said, in the Machiavellian code of the election huckster, "Hillary equals France," and it envisioned bumper stickers that read, "First, not France."

Except for one thing: We're not first. America isn't ranked anywhere near first in anything except military might and snotty billionaires. The country that is ranked No. 1 in healthcare, for example, is France. The World Health Organization ranks America at 37 in the world -- not two, or five -- 37, in between Costa Rica and Slovenia, which are both years away from discovering dentistry.

Yet an American politician could not survive if he or she uttered the simple, true statement, "France has a better healthcare system than us, and we should steal it." Because here, simply dismissing an idea as French passes for an argument. John Kerry? Can't vote for him -- he looks French. Yeah, as opposed to the other guy, who just looked stupid.

I know, if God had wanted us to learn from the Enlightenment, he wouldn't have given us Sean Hannity.

And I'm not saying France is better than America. Because I assume you've already figured that out by now. I don't want to be French, I just want to take what's best from the French. Stealing, for your own self-interest -- Republicans should love this idea. Taking what's best from the French: You know who else did that? The Founding Fathers. Hate to sink your toy boat, Fox News, but the Founding Fathers, the ones you say you revere, were children of the French Enlightenment, and fans of it, and they turned it into a musical called the Constitution of the United States. And they did a helluva job, so good it has been said that it was written by geniuses so it could be run by idiots. But the current administration is putting that to the test. The Founding Fathers were erudite, well-read, European-thinking aristocrats -- they would have had nothing in common with, and no use for, an ill-read xenophobic bumpkin like George W. Bush.

The American ideas of individuality, religious tolerance and freedom of speech came directly out of the French Enlightenment -- but, shhh, don't tell Alabama. Voltaire wrote "men are born equal" before Jefferson was wise enough to steal it.

Countries are like people -- they tend to get smarter as they get older. Noted military genius Donald Rumsfeld famously dismissed France as part of Old Europe, but the French are ... what's the word I'm looking for? Oh yeah, "mature." We think they're rude and snobby, but maybe that's because they're talking to us.

For example, France just had an election, and people over there approach an election differently. They vote. Eighty-five percent turned out. The only thing 85 percent of Americans ever voted on was Sanjaya.

Maybe the high turnout has something to do with the fact that the French candidates are never asked where they stand on evolution, prayer in school, abortion, stem cell research or gay marriage. And if the candidate knows about a character in a book other than Jesus, it's not a drawback. There is no Pierre Six-pack who can be fooled by childish wedge issues. And the electorate doesn't vote for the guy they want to have a croissant with. Nor do they care about the candidate's private lives: In the current race, Ségolène Royal has four kids but never bothered to get married. And she's a socialist. In America, if a Democrat even thinks you're calling him a liberal he immediately grabs an orange vest and a rifle and heads into the woods to kill something.

The conservative candidate is married, but he and his wife live apart and lead separate lives. They aren't asked about it in the media, and the people are OK with it, for the same reason the people are OK with nude beaches: because they're not a nation of 6-year-olds who scream and giggle if they see pee-pee parts. They have weird ideas about privacy. They think it should be private. In France, everyone has a mistress. Even mistresses have mistresses. To not have a lady on the side says to the voters, "I'm no good at multitasking."

France has its faults -- the country has high unemployment, a nasty immigrant problem and all that ridiculous accordion music. But its healthcare is the best, it's not dependent on Mideast oil, it has the lowest poverty rate and the lowest income-inequality rate among industrialized nations, and it's the greenest, with the lowest carbon dumping and the lowest electricity bill.

France has 20,000 miles of railroads that work. We have the trolley at the mall that takes you from Pottery Barn to the Gap. It has bullet trains. We have bullets. France has public intellectuals. We have Dr. Phil. And France invented sex during the day, the ménage à trois, lingerie and the tongue.

And the French are not fat. Can't we just admit we could learn something from them?

[Cup O Mercury]

But the French our pussies.

[Cup O Mercury]

The United States has the best health care in the world!
I don’t see anything in your article that suggest that France is better than us.
They inspired the founding fathers, and they helped us win the revolution against the British, and they gave us a big statue.

[DeviousJ]

I really don't get this French obsession. I mean there's kind of one here, usually echoed in the tabloids which are basically full of crap anyway, but it's more of a friendly rivalry thing based on Europe's history. It's just bizarre that that kind of sentiment could be entrenched at all levels in the US - I mean the freedom fries thing, it's an extreme example but the more I hear the more I think that it actually isn't

[Karl Connor]

there've been issues but post 9/11 it got really bad. them not supporting iraq was the straw that broke the camels back with the neo-con retards

[Graveflower]

this was funnier on "real time"
you know what im saying

"we couldnt get 85% of americans to vote if the vote was between titties and bigger titties and we were giving out free samples"

[sleeper]

Originally Posted by DeviousJ

I really don't get this French obsession. I mean there's kind of one here, usually echoed in the tabloids which are basically full of crap anyway, but it's more of a friendly rivalry thing based on Europe's history. It's just bizarre that that kind of sentiment could be entrenched at all levels in the US - I mean the freedom fries thing, it's an extreme example but the more I hear the more I think that it actually isn't

dont the british also have a thing with germany too? during the world cup id read all about how the british tabloids had headlines deriding the "huns" and how british fans would chant modified WWII-era anti-german chants and whatever. its playful, surely, but real prejudices make it possible i think.

i dont know how far back this hysterical hatred of the french goes in the US, but id just assume to de gaulle, who, lets face it, was hugely loathesome. but i dont even remember things being as bad as they are now under clinton, i think a lot of this comes from the iraq war and frances role in throwing a wrench into US designs for it, which youd think people would be heaping praise on them for now.

its also the perception of the french as, well, rude and snotty and elitist and effete, as well as their country being, as ive heard them described, "the only successful communist country" (loosely paraphrasing).

but this hatred, lets clearly acknowledge, is totally juvenile and pathetic. maher is right that its insane for the US to look down at the french, because in many things theyre far better and have their priorities straighter. with no romanticizing, i think their attitude to life is absolutely superior to the US one, and you can even see a pretty nice glimmer of that attitude in quebec. this is totally anecdotal, but i stopped by this small town in quebec last summer and was totally struck by the contrast between it and every other (non quebec) small town ive ever been in. it really found it breathtaking and so perfect and beautiful. it was a small town but without that kind of depressing, blank, inbred air to it, it was just like a mini ornamental city.

[Cup O Mercury]

France has 20,000 miles of railroad, but the United States has more roads and Interstates than all of Europe.
I think that it’s cool that Americans have guns. Don’t you?
It has a low poverty rate because it’s a fucking welfare state! Imagine how high there taxes are.
France did NOT invent sex during the day.
Why don’t you explain what a public intellectual is, and how Dr. Phil does not help more people.
What kind of relationship would I have with my girlfriend if I had a mistress? A healthy one?
In France people depend on the government not the government depends on the people. I can see why so many people vote over there it’s because the government plays such a huge role in everyone’s life over there.
The United states is number one in exports, and inventions. What is France ranked? And we have the best athletes in the world if that counts for anything. The french are a nation of wimps.
People from all over the world come to the United States for medical care. Canadians escape from there rotten socialist health care to come here where they don’t have to wait and they get the best treatment and medicine. France uses the medical treatments, medicine, and instruments, invented and produced by the United States! France doesn’t come up with cures for disease, we do. Their health care system is a lot like Britain’s where they don’t wash sheets after an patient uses it. They just turn the sheet over, so they save money washing them. Because the public funds our health care system (not the government) the system can afford to wash the sheets and at the same time have money to invent new instruments, give the best medicine, and pay for research to make health care better and better. And the United States has the best doctors in the world.

I’m telling you that France has a lot to learn from the United States.

[DeviousJ]

Originally Posted by sleeper

dont the british also have a thing with germany too? during the world cup id read all about how the british tabloids had headlines deriding the "huns" and how british fans would chant modified WWII-era anti-german chants and whatever. its playful, surely, but real prejudices make it possible i think.

i dont know how far back this hysterical hatred of the french goes in the US, but id just assume to de gaulle, who, lets face it, was hugely loathesome. but i dont even remember things being as bad as they are now under clinton, i think a lot of this comes from the iraq war and frances role in throwing a wrench into US designs for it, which youd think people would be heaping praise on them for now.

its also the perception of the french as, well, rude and snotty and elitist and effete, as well as their country being, as ive heard them described, "the only successful communist country" (loosely paraphrasing).

but this hatred, lets clearly acknowledge, is totally juvenile and pathetic. maher is right that its insane for the US to look down at the french, because in many things theyre far better and have their priorities straighter. with no romanticizing, i think their attitude to life is absolutely superior to the US one, and you can even see a pretty nice glimmer of that attitude in quebec. this is totally anecdotal, but i stopped by this small town in quebec last summer and was totally struck by the contrast between it and every other (non quebec) small town ive ever been in. it really found it breathtaking and so perfect and beautiful. it was a small town but without that kind of depressing, blank, inbred air to it, it was just like a mini ornamental city.

Yeah, there's the 'two world wars and one world cup, doo da, doo da' one. I've heard it shouted from hotel balconies. At this point it can just be a silly thing, but it's so overdone that it seems like 'oh look, some Germans, let's do the chanting!'. Obviously there are morons involved too who actually do this stuff and mean some real hostility. It's really old to be honest - I saw a commercial for some show called Benidorm I think (tacky resort on the Spanish coast where lots of British people with no imagination end up), and there were jokes like 'oh yes, the Germans, eating sausages and taking over all the sunbeds!'. I couldn't believe it wasn't ironic, I bet next he talked about Americans going 'yeehaw!' and owning ranches.

But yeah - Germany, probably some shit about the war; France, probably pissed off that they conquered England. I think that's pretty much it, Spain doesn't get any of that crap (although if you go there you'll see British pubs that 'don't serve any of that foreign muck' - basically for people who go on vacation to pretend they're in a hotter version of England).

And you can't heap praise on France for the Iraq thing - they were right, so now they must be viciously resented for it! Here, you might find this interesting too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwOkeiR2VsY

[Cup O Mercury]

Sleeper, the French didn’t help us topple Sadom because they where getting their oil from the bastard. If the French are not getting there oil from the middle east anymore I wonder where they are getting it from, the North Sea perhaps.

[Trotskilicious]

i have to say that the Blackadder series is a pretty good showcase for nasty burns on the French, Germans, Spanish, etc

of course it saves most of its venom later on in the series for people of privledge

[margaret1979]

Originally Posted by Cup O Mercury

France has 20,000 miles of railroad, but the United States has more roads and Interstates than all of Europe.
I think that it’s cool that Americans have guns. Don’t you?
It has a low poverty rate because it’s a fucking welfare state! Imagine how high there taxes are.
France did NOT invent sex during the day.
Why don’t you explain what a public intellectual is, and how Dr. Phil does not help more people.
What kind of relationship would I have with my girlfriend if I had a mistress? A healthy one?
In France people depend on the government not the government depends on the people. I can see why so many people vote over there it’s because the government plays such a huge role in everyone’s life over there.
The United states is number on in exports, and inventions. What is France ranked? And we have the best athletes in the world if that counts for anything. The french are a nation of wimps.
People from all over the world come to the United States for medical care. Canadians escape from there rotten socialist health care to come here where they don’t have to wait and they get the best treatment and medicine. France uses the medical treatments, medicine, and instruments, invented and produced by the United States! France doesn’t come up with cures for disease, we do. Their health care system is a lot like Britain’s where they don’t wash sheets after an patient uses it. They just turn the sheet over, so they save money washing them. Because the public funds our health care system (not the government) the system can afford to wash the sheets and at the same time have money to invent new instruments, give the best medicine, and pay for research to make health care better and better. And the United States has the best doctors in the world.

I’m tell telling you that France has a lot to learn from the United States.

Are you being sarcastic, or are you just uneducated?

[Trotskilicious]

i think he's a fucking troll and needs to be banned

[Trotskilicious]

France has 20,000 miles of railroad, but the United States has more roads and Interstates than all of Europe.
I think that it’s cool that Americans have guns. Don’t you?
France did NOT invent sex during the day.

total troll

[Cup O Mercury]

Originally Posted by margaret1979

Are you being sarcastic, or are you just uneducated?

Why don’t you school me. Thanks for your first post!

Trotskilicious why don’t you tell me what a troll is and then tell me why I should be banned and how I’m different than you. You just don’t agree with me that’s all. Im just good at making the pont that you don’t want to hear. Im just a threat to what you think, I shouldn’t be banned.
If you don’t like what I say just discredit me like you always try to do. Or be a man an analyze and criticize me. Don’t cry about me.

[Starchildren]

Originally Posted by Cup O Mercury

People from all over the world come to the United States for medical care. Canadians escape from there rotten socialist health care to come here where they don’t have to wait and they get the best treatment and medicine.

funniest quote i have read in a long time. so ignorant! ha.

tommy douglas forever.

[Starchildren]

i love paying nothing for hospital visits and all my medicine. I don't care if i have to wait a few extra minutes.

enjoy paying thousands, american.

[Cup O Mercury]

HA HA HA good news my liberal chums!
The socialist woman to be president has just been defeated by a conservative!
Looks like the French have some balls after all!

[Cup O Mercury]

I did some research on the French elections.


PARIS — Conservative reformer Nicolas Sarkozy has been elected president of France by a comfortable margin in what is likely a record voter turnout, according to exit polls.
His Socialist opponent conceded minutes after polls closed.
1. Four polling agencies said the conservative won 53 per cent of the vote amid massive turnout, dashing Socialist Ségolène Royal's hopes of being elected France's first woman president.
Government officials projected a turnout exceeding 85 per cent in a contest that is seen as a once-in-a-generation bid to transform France's society and economy.
Conservative front-runner Mr. Sarkozy, the son of a Hungarian immigrant, was urging the French to work more while Ms. Royal pledged to safeguard welfare protections.

HA HA HA you liberal pussies have just lost your biggest ally!!!

[Cup O Mercury]

Does Hillery still equal France?

[Karl Connor]

cup o mercury=christ

[Cup O Mercury]

Nicolas Sarkozy

[DeviousJ]

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious

i think he's a fucking troll and needs to be banned

I thought this place was supposed to be held to a higher standard - something suspicious here, that's for sure

[Cup O Mercury]

From some article:

But, ultimately, Sarkozy could make his greatest impact abroad, or at least in its region, by setting France on its feet again. By some measures, France has become the sick man of Europe. Only Poland and Slovakia have worse unemployment rates than France. Its economic growth rate is one of Europe's slowest — only Italy and Portugal did worse last year than France's 2.1 percent.

I think that only a conservative like Sarkozy can set this strait.
France is not hot shit, why would Hillery want to model this great country after France?

[RopeyLopey]

Originally Posted by Karl Connor

from salon

he World Health Organization ranks America at 37 in the world -- not two, or five -- 37, in between Costa Rica and Slovenia, which are both years away from discovering dentistry.

that author must be a total idiot. Slovenia discovering dentistry? yeah right.

[RopeyLopey]

Originally Posted by Cup O Mercury

I did some research on the French elections.


PARIS — Conservative reformer Nicolas Sarkozy has been elected president of France by a comfortable margin in what is likely a record voter turnout, according to exit polls.
His Socialist opponent conceded minutes after polls closed.
1. Four polling agencies said the conservative won 53 per cent of the vote amid massive turnout, dashing Socialist Ségolène Royal's hopes of being elected France's first woman president.
Government officials projected a turnout exceeding 85 per cent in a contest that is seen as a once-in-a-generation bid to transform France's society and economy.
Conservative front-runner Mr. Sarkozy, the son of a Hungarian immigrant, was urging the French to work more while Ms. Royal pledged to safeguard welfare protections.

HA HA HA you liberal pussies have just lost your biggest ally!!!

since when plain reading is called research?

[Karl Connor]

its bill maher. he's just fucking around more or less

its his schtick

[RopeyLopey]

Originally Posted by Karl Connor

its bill maher. he's just fucking around more or less

its his schtick

alright. I don't really follow this. My bad.

[redbull]

Originally Posted by Cup O Mercury

The United States has the best health care in the world!

LOL

[redbull]

Originally Posted by Cup O Mercury

Sleeper, the French didn’t help us topple Sadom because they where getting their oil from the bastard. If the French are not getting there oil from the middle east anymore I wonder where they are getting it from, the North Sea perhaps.

did you miss the part of the story about france not being dependent on middle eastern oil?

oh, and we got ours from saddam as well