dude loves his bike

firewoman · 07-02-2007, 01:09 AM

http://www.sundaymail.co.uk/news/tm_...name_page.html

ACCUSED.. OF HAVING SEX WITH HIS BIKE
Women 'caught man in act'
Exclusive by Billy Paterson
A MAN has been charged with having sex with his bike.

Robert Stewart was allegedly caught in the act by two terrified cleaners who walked into his bedroom in a hostel.

Stewart has denied the accusation, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.

The 51-year-old bachelor was charged with the bizarre sexual offence after he was disturbed by the cleaner and her colleague in a private hostel in Ayr.

The charge alleges he conducted himself in a disorderly manner, simulated sex with a bicycle and continued to do so while naked from the waist down in the presence of two female employees.

Stewart had been living in the Aberley House hostel from October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan, Ayrshire.

He moved after a separate sex complaint to which he has pleaded not guilty at Ayr Sheriff Court.

Unemployed Stewart has now left Aberley House and is living in a flat in the centre of Ayr.

Asked about the claim he was simulating sex with the bike, he said: "You'll need to ask the cleaners why they would say that.

"It's a lot of rubbish, a lot of rubbish."

His solicitor Gerry Tierney said last night: "My client denies the allegations and intends to defend the charge vigorously."

A spokeswoman for the Aberley House hostel for the homeless said: "We cannot comment because of client confidentiality."

-----

poor guy.

I'm Hardcore · 07-02-2007, 01:15 AM

substitute 'bike' for 'woman' and there is no difference

threetwooneZERO · 07-02-2007, 01:17 AM

DUDE IT'S A BICYCLE!!!! I thought at first it was going to say he put it in the tailpipe of his motorcycle...but it's a fucking pedal bike! wow.

spidrr · 07-02-2007, 01:12 PM

At first I read "Rod Stewart" then was like

TuralyonW3 · 07-02-2007, 01:20 PM

anything goes in a hostel!

tear stained glass · 07-02-2007, 03:05 PM

i think this would make for a decent horror movie.

The Pashing Smumpkin · 07-02-2007, 11:34 PM

How is that even possible?

noyen · 07-02-2007, 11:38 PM

MAYBE HE WAS ITCHING HIS ASS OR BALLS WITH THE SEAT. PEOPLE ARE JUDGEMENTAL

TuralyonW3 · 07-02-2007, 11:42 PM

maybe the spokes were furiously slapping his erect dick like a baseball card

TuralyonW3 · 07-02-2007, 11:43 PM

or maybe he took the seat off and was fucking the metal hole

TuralyonW3 · 07-02-2007, 11:43 PM

or maybe he was sliding his asshole over the handlebar

TuralyonW3 · 07-02-2007, 11:44 PM

i mean c'mon you people need to be more sexually creative

TuralyonW3 · 07-02-2007, 11:44 PM

*shamelessly increases post count*

The Pashing Smumpkin · 07-02-2007, 11:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TuralyonW3

i mean c'mon you people need to be more sexually creative

Oh my god, so how many times have you fucked a bike...?

Come now, don't be shy...

07-02-2007, 01:09 AM	#1 (permalink)
firewoman Ownz Posts: 536	dude loves his bike http://www.sundaymail.co.uk/news/tm_...name_page.html ACCUSED.. OF HAVING SEX WITH HIS BIKE Women 'caught man in act' Exclusive by Billy Paterson A MAN has been charged with having sex with his bike. Robert Stewart was allegedly caught in the act by two terrified cleaners who walked into his bedroom in a hostel. Stewart has denied the accusation, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink. The 51-year-old bachelor was charged with the bizarre sexual offence after he was disturbed by the cleaner and her colleague in a private hostel in Ayr. The charge alleges he conducted himself in a disorderly manner, simulated sex with a bicycle and continued to do so while naked from the waist down in the presence of two female employees. Stewart had been living in the Aberley House hostel from October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan, Ayrshire. He moved after a separate sex complaint to which he has pleaded not guilty at Ayr Sheriff Court. Unemployed Stewart has now left Aberley House and is living in a flat in the centre of Ayr. Asked about the claim he was simulating sex with the bike, he said: "You'll need to ask the cleaners why they would say that. "It's a lot of rubbish, a lot of rubbish." His solicitor Gerry Tierney said last night: "My client denies the allegations and intends to defend the charge vigorously." A spokeswoman for the Aberley House hostel for the homeless said: "We cannot comment because of client confidentiality." ----- poor guy.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

07-02-2007, 01:15 AM	#2 (permalink)
I'm Hardcore Socialphobic Location: arms of the Koran Posts: 12,858	substitute 'bike' for 'woman' and there is no difference

07-02-2007, 01:17 AM	#3 (permalink)
threetwooneZERO Apocalyptic Poster Location: south of detroit Posts: 3,770	DUDE IT'S A BICYCLE!!!! I thought at first it was going to say he put it in the tailpipe of his motorcycle...but it's a fucking pedal bike! wow.

07-02-2007, 01:12 PM	#4 (permalink)
spidrr Ownz Location: fuck. Posts: 677	At first I read "Rod Stewart" then was like

07-02-2007, 01:20 PM	#5 (permalink)
TuralyonW3 Socialphobic Location: WPB FL Posts: 14,675	anything goes in a hostel!

07-02-2007, 03:05 PM	#6 (permalink)
tear stained glass low-life Location: california...knows how to party Posts: 7,623	i think this would make for a decent horror movie.

07-02-2007, 11:34 PM	#7 (permalink)
The Pashing Smumpkin Apocalyptic Poster Posts: 3,129	How is that even possible?

07-02-2007, 11:38 PM	#8 (permalink)
noyen Immortal Posts: 21,740	MAYBE HE WAS ITCHING HIS ASS OR BALLS WITH THE SEAT. PEOPLE ARE JUDGEMENTAL

07-02-2007, 11:42 PM	#9 (permalink)
TuralyonW3 Socialphobic Location: WPB FL Posts: 14,675	maybe the spokes were furiously slapping his erect dick like a baseball card

07-02-2007, 11:43 PM	#10 (permalink)
TuralyonW3 Socialphobic Location: WPB FL Posts: 14,675	or maybe he took the seat off and was fucking the metal hole

07-02-2007, 11:43 PM	#11 (permalink)
TuralyonW3 Socialphobic Location: WPB FL Posts: 14,675	or maybe he was sliding his asshole over the handlebar

07-02-2007, 11:44 PM	#12 (permalink)
TuralyonW3 Socialphobic Location: WPB FL Posts: 14,675	i mean c'mon you people need to be more sexually creative

07-02-2007, 11:44 PM	#13 (permalink)
TuralyonW3 Socialphobic Location: WPB FL Posts: 14,675	shamelessly increases post count