I think people will always want to marry but the specifics of it are changing.
We're getting greadier and greadier as a society-we try to have it all and the bridal magazines suggest that we can but i think we can't always have love with hot sex with good partnerships all the time.
I think people sometimes expect too much going into it- like it'll always be good times and everyone will always be faithful. I also don't know how realistic it is for me to be with the same person for a possible 25 plus years. What do you guys think? Is Marriage aa good idea or not?

Anyway i was reading about different opinions on nerve.com-

Well, it certainly isn't going to die out, that's for sure. There's too much money at stake. The suppliers Ñ Bride magazine, the Catholic Church, banquet halls, the tourist bureaus of Niagara Falls and Tuscany, the rabbi's union, tuxedo shops, three-piece bands, bachelor-party strippers and pink taffeta manufacturers Ñ would all rally in a show of great unity and declare that marriage must continue.

Marriage elevates the relationship of a man and a woman; it brings them closer to God. It also gives them a unique social status; I no longer have a "babe," I have a "wife." And for anyone that's been married, there's a world of difference.

Marriage is one of the most tenacious ideas the Western world has ever come up with. For every Billy Bob and Angelina who can't keep it together (and what's going to happen to Brad and Jennifer? Aaaaa!) there's a Nick & Jessica newlywed show, a high-end celebrity wedding (Trump's next, right?), a reality TV show dedicated to helping people find their mates (as long as they suffer entertainingly along the way).

my gut feeling/though is that yes, marriage is dying out and will become less and less of a force in the future. the reason for that is that people are becoming less and less tied to one person in a meaningful healthy manner. marriage has continued to exist at a very steady level for a long time, but the commitment of those marriages and the marriages staying together has detiorated. basically, our whole country's society is falling apart..... and the dissolution of marriages is just one arena that reflects that

i think it is a possibility.

Originally posted by if you are
basically, our whole country's society is falling apart.....

I disagree whole-heartedly but I don't really have the energy or mental clarity to post my thoughts on why right now. My brain doesn't function properly at this time of the evening/morning.

Hopefully!

Originally posted by spa ced


I disagree whole-heartedly but I don't really have the energy or mental clarity to post my thoughts on why right now. My brain doesn't function properly at this time of the evening/morning.

that was a controversial thing for me to say, but i still really believe that..... i think the very foundations of a healthy society aren't apparent in our country now.

anyway, my points are basically that the institution of marriage will still be big for a long time to come.. nearly everyone in america gets married now at some point, something like 90% but the marriages themselves aren't as strong

A long-term commitment to a person is fine, as long as that's what you want to do.

Marrying because one person can't make enough money to sustain himself or herself comfortably, or because certain legal benefits need to be acquired are not reasons that need to exist.

marry for love the first time and money the second

Originally posted by Ghetto_Squirrel
A long-term commitment to a person is fine, as long as that's what you want to do.


americans can't even pull that off anymore. there's a very large number of people, married and non-married that are cheating on each other, and most relationships will end

Originally posted by if you are


that was a controversial thing for me to say, but i still really believe that..... i think the very foundations of a healthy society aren't apparent in our country now.



i think that's just the fundamental christian paranoid viewpoint as society and government moves into more secular territority. where there is no god there is darkness and evil!
if they claim life was more peaceful and tolerant and better in the past then they're forgetting about slavery and homophobia and man being better than women. not that those concepts don't still exist today, however american society has made great strides and is still progressing. there is still a lot of room for improvement.

i'm definitely not christian.. paranoid, maybe :D

i mean, how stable can a society be when we work longer hours than people in fucking JAPAN, most of us are depressed/suicidal, alcoholism and drug abuse is rampant, 50% of FIRST marriages fail (later marriages have even worse chances), MOST kids grow up under more than one family.... i mean, i'm not a fundamentalist or anything, but there's not much stability in our society now i think, and that's trouble, even if many things have improved

Originally posted by if you are


americans can't even pull that off anymore. there's a very large number of people, married and non-married that are cheating on each other, and most relationships will end

don't forget- people stay happily married and fuck around. the problem with cheating is the lying and the not knowing. Look at swingers too - "cheating" within a secure lifestyle , in the open. I think marriage and fidelity don't have to go hand in hand.

The changing of the times.

How my Marriage was Destroyed by the Homosexual Agenda
- a really very truly honest testimonial
by Eve Angelico

Once, I was a happy woman.

I was a mother. I had two wonderful children who knew how to behave
themselves:
Constance and Aaron.

I was a wife. My husband, Christian, was a good solid man I could count on.

That was just a few months ago. How could we have known, back then, that our
blissful family would soon be torn apart forever by the forces of Satan?

Oh, as I look back on it now, I can see that there were signs, like when Mr.
Penderglass down the street started wearing teal, or when attendance at the
Boy
Scouts pack meeting started going down, or when Father Hanlon, who holds
mass
down at the All Souls Grace Blessing Rosary of Our Lady of the Aching Lower
Back
Cathedral started a midnight solo boy's glee club, with rehearsals in room
204
at the Motel Six. At the time, of course, I just thought it was God working
in
mysterious ways.

If I had to choose one moment when my denial finally started to crumble, it
would be the time when I found a smudge of bright red lipstick on the front
pocket of Christian's best short-sleeved white wrinkle-free Sunday dress
shirt.
You see, every night when Christian comes home from work, I greet him at the
door with a nice kiss on the cheek. The thing is, I only wear purple shades
of
lipstick, ranging from a light violet to a medium mauve. A few years ago,
the
Mary Kay representative on my block let me know, confidentially, that
anything
outside of this color range would be considered indiscreet, given my
complexion.
I don't even own any red lipstick. Too much red can give men the wrong idea.

Well, I was pretty upset seeing that red lipstick on my husband's collar. I
confronted Christian that very evening, right after I kissed him at the door
and
brought him his evening glass of beer.

He didn't deny anything. He told me that had spent the afternoon in an
alley,
french kissing a woman named Tanya he had met in a tavern, after getting
drunk
on Schlitz malt liquor using money he had withdrawn from our children's
college
fund.

When I demanded an explanation, he looked at me with a confused expression
on
his face and asked me, "Haven't you heard that the Supreme Court in
Massachusetts has said that it's legal for gay couples to get married?"

Suddenly, everything became clear.

I ran across the living room and fell into the Lazy Boy where Christian was
sitting, and threw my arms around him. "Oh, you poor baby," I cried. "You
must
feel awful! Why didn't you just call me to let me know?"

Christian gazed deeply into my teary eyes. "What's the point of being honest
with each other anymore, honey, now that gays can get married in
Massachusetts?"

"Do you mean to say..."

"Darling, let's admit it. Our marriage is over."

To hear these words from my husband was a difficult thing. The more I
thought
about it, though, the more I realized that I just didn't care about him
anymore,
now that gay people were going to be getting married. The love was gone,
thanks
to that damn homosexual agenda.

I was about to ask Christian if he would like to experiment with some
non-traditional lifestyle choices when I heard the front door opening. It
was
the kids coming home from school! How would we break it to them?

Aaron set down his backpack to kiss me on the cheek. He was wearing a navy
blue
blazer with a matching tie, ornamented only with an American flag lapel pin.
"Gosh mom," he said as he passed us by on the way to change into his Eagle
Scout
uniform, "what a long day at school! Still, I know that the Lord wants us to
study hard so that we can read the Bible."

As Constance walked into the kitchen, her ankle-length grey flannel skirt
brushed up against Christian's wrist, and I saw his cheeks grow red. "Hey,
honey," he leaned over to whisper, "Now that we're going to get a divorce,
do
you mind if I ask Constance to go out with me to the drive-in tonight? I
promise
I won't go past third base until she's ready."

What the hell, I thought. Sure, she's our daughter, but now that gays are
going
to be allowed to get marriage licenses in downtown Boston, all concepts of
morality are destroyed, and it doesn't really make a difference anymore. I
wondered to myself which of my neighbors' houses would be the easiest to
break
into - I needed a cup of sugar.

Constance turned on the radio in the kitchen to the Christian AM station we
always listen to, and that's when our family's fate was finally sealed. The
Lord's news update was saying that gay people in San Francisco were being
allowed to get married right then and there!

Constance turned around suddenly, with a strange look on her face that I had
never seen before. All of a sudden, she started running towards the front
door,
ripping off her clothes. The last I saw of her, she was skipping down the
street, wearing nothing but a flower in her hair, screaming, "I'm sexually
promiscuous now! Does anyone want to have some casual sex so that I can get
a
sexually transmitted disease and then have an abortion?"

Aaron came downstairs with a hurt and confused look on his face. "Golly," he
whispered to Christian, "do you think that Constance has been influenced by
the
1960s culture of permissiveness?"

Christian frowned and said, "Son, all that you need to know that gay people
are
getting married in San Francisco."

Immediately, Aaron ripped the merit badges from his uniform and threw them
on
the floor. "Fucking shit, Mom," he said to me. "I guess I'd better drop out
of
school and join a gang of juvenile delinquents."

"Okay," I said, feeling all my parental authority melting away, "But try to
be
home before midnight. We'll be getting Cinemax now, and I'll bet there will
be a
really sexy and violent movie on after prime time. Maybe we can even
illegally
record it on our VCR."

Aaron told me to shut up, then burped and walked out the door.

Christian and I sighed. It was hard to say goodbye to him, but I knew the
time
had come. The homosexual agenda had succeeded in destroying our family, even
though we had been happy, secure, and God-fearing just a few hours before.

Who knows what will happen next? I suppose that as the news of gay marriages
in
San Francisco spreads, everybody in town will be getting divorced.

I'm not sure where I'll end up, of course, but I'm taking my first steps in
this
new world shaped by homosexuality. I suppose I'll have to become a lesbian
now.
I've put in a call to the local Lions Club asking if they know about where I
can
get in touch with a baby-killing satanic cult in our area, and I've
cancelled
the check I wrote last week to the Christian Coalition.

To think that it all could have been different, if gay people had just left
well
enough alone and not wanted to get married.

/END.

I just got that in an email from a friend today.

Originally posted by if you are
i'm definitely not christian.. paranoid, maybe :D

i mean, how stable can a society be when we work longer hours than people in fucking JAPAN, most of us are depressed/suicidal, alcoholism and drug abuse is rampant, 50% of FIRST marriages fail (later marriages have even worse chances), MOST kids grow up under more than one family.... i mean, i'm not a fundamentalist or anything, but there's not much stability in our society now i think, and that's trouble, even if many things have improved

but the origin of this "society is going to shit" theory came from those people. you may just have your own spin on it but the origin lies with the fundamentalist christians.

you have to see the yin and yang to all those details you posted about.

the divorce rate is higher - okay this is because people are more open to the option of divorce now, before people were almost forced to stay together in unhappy marriages due to fear of having a negative social stigma attached to them.
why would you have couples that just don't work out together stay together? what if there is violence and abuse in that relationship that didn't emerge before the marriage took place? should they stay together?
my aunt and my uncle break up and get back together, break up and get back together, it's really damaging for the children and i think it'd be better and less painful for the children if they just get a divorce. will they? no. why not? because they're devout roman catholics. it pains me to see my aunt get hurt by this man time and time again and her having to stay with him just so that she won't have to deal with the divorce stigma.

Originally posted by undivinemartyr


Christian gazed deeply into my teary eyes. "What's the point of being honest
with each other anymore, honey, now that gays can get married in
Massachusetts?"

To hear these words from my husband was a difficult thing. The more I
thought
about it, though, the more I realized that I just didn't care about him
anymore,
now that gay people were going to be getting married. The love was gone,
thanks
to that damn homosexual agenda.

I

huh? i hope that person isnt real because thats the most bizarre reasoning i've ever heard. :rofl:

Originally posted by alisonmonster
huh? i hope that person isnt real because thats the most bizarre reasoning i've ever heard. :rofl: Uh. I hope you finished reading it, because I'm 99% sure that it's a joke.

If the question is why is the divorce rate so high, I think it is because it has become more acceptable in society's eyes and people aren't as willing to stick around and work things out. People also have an idealized view of marriage ever since TV and movies came around and started to glamourize them. They put such a huge emphasis on passion and romance that people think that once the fire begins to die down, their marriage is dead and they need to go find it somewhere else. Everything needs to be sunshine and lollipops and if they aren't madly in love with each other and having sex all the time, there's something wrong. They don't realize that relationships go in stages and that it might just be evolving into an even more meaningful phase. I think it goes along with the lack of personal responsibility mentality that we seem to have adopted over time.

I don't think marriage is dying though, more people are getting married than ever. Marriage would die if people ceased to perform marriages. I think the concept will always exist.

Randall's unwanted 2cents of the day: the institution of marriage really needs to go

Originally posted by alisonmonster

We're getting greadier and greadier as a society-we try to have it all and the bridal magazines suggest that we can but i think we can't always have love with hot sex with good partnerships all the time.
I think people sometimes expect too much going into it- like it'll always be good times and everyone will always be faithful. .[/FONT] I agree with this. Also society seems to be pushing less towards working through problems and more towards running away from them.

first off, you guys are thinking american divorce rates are reflective on the rest of the world. 'fraid not.

that said, america should introduce Graduated Marraiges. when you first get married you'd just go to a Marraige Express Outlet and have it all over with in an hour. but you would only have a Level 1 Disposable Marraige which would expire in a few years so you don't even have to get divorced. divorce rates would plummet. and then the few people who stick together can apply for the next level. and then after your 25th anniversary you can apply for Level 3, etc.

Originally posted by YeehaJamesIha
If the question is why is the divorce rate so high, I think it is because it has become more acceptable in society's eyes and people aren't as willing to stick around and work things out. People also have an idealized view of marriage ever since TV and movies came around and started to glamourize them. They put such a huge emphasis on passion and romance that people think that once the fire begins to die down, their marriage is dead and they need to go find it somewhere else. Everything needs to be sunshine and lollipops and if they aren't madly in love with each other and having sex all the time, there's something wrong. They don't realize that relationships go in stages and that it might just be evolving into an even more meaningful phase. I think it goes along with the lack of personal responsibility mentality that we seem to have adopted over time.

I don't think marriage is dying though, more people are getting married than ever. Marriage would die if people ceased to perform marriages. I think the concept will always exist.

yeah, i definitely agree. look at the completely different mentality between women in the 50's and women in 2004. ok, in the 50's what did women want? they wanted a man who was responsible, who had a decent job and could support her and her children while she stayed home and looked after the kids. sex (at least publicly) didn't even factor into the equation, and sex was seen as something that was only for marriage anyway, so there was no "do we have sexual chemistry? is he experienced enough?" kind of questions. also men wanted a woman who would be dependent on him and support him. however, now it's all opposite. women want to be as independent as possible (well, it's kind of twisted. they're dependent in actuality, but they won't want to admit it). so they jump from doomed relationship to doomed relationship, never sticking it out with one guy. also there's less reason to get married now.. it's a lot more acceptable to just live together, and you can have sex and buy groceries and all the normal physical things a married couple can do.

You have a very idealized veiw of sexual culture in the 50s. I would talk to someone that actually lived through it.

Back then there were actually mainstream publications encouraging sexual expirementation between young boys. It was considered healthy and natural. Can you imagine if someone published that same sort of thing now? My point is that everything is relative....just because society has changed in one direction doesn't mean that other things haven't changed in the other direction.

Change doesn't mean the end of the world, it just means....change.

yeah, and change is often very good... but what i mean is, even though a lot of marriages in the 50's were secretly unhappy, on the other hand a lot of people were happy and they stayed together. it seems like NO ONE can be happy together and stay together anymore... maybe it's because we're so impatient and have an "instant gratification" outlook now

like they say, relationships are like plants.. you have to water and feed them every day. but i think people expect not only a rose garden all the time, but a constant variety of rose gardens that continually shift by the second to fit whatever they feel like they need at the time... people are so fucking needy now.. i'm speaking specifically of females :) i sound like such a jerk, but that's what i see..........

How old are you?

i'm in my early 20's. i think maybe women get more mature in their 30's though? so i get to see all the sluts now

Originally posted by if you are
i'm in my early 20's. i think maybe women get more mature in their 30's though? so i get to see all the sluts now

but you look better than david bowie. i would think women of all ages would be all over you.

This if you are guy isn't the sharpest knifein the drawer is he?

Originally posted by ravenguy2000


but you look better than david bowie. i would think women of all ages would be all over you.

but i have a bad personality. :D all the good looks in the world can't save you if you aren't a good conversationalist.

and i think i'm a pretty sharp knife :D i'm just speaking my mind........ i love girls, but a lot of them act like stupid little sluts, god love 'em

Originally posted by if you are


but a lot of them act like stupid little sluts, god love 'em

Ummmm idiot boys attract idiot girls I guess.

what? as if they don't act likel stupid little sluts? how many times have you heard about girls getting drunk at parties and having sex? it's stupid, and slutty

Originally posted by if you are
how many times have you heard about girls getting drunk at parties and having sex? it's stupid, and slutty


You do know they are usually having sex with drunk guys right? So is everyone slutty and stupid? Guys do it all the time. God you are dense.

you're judging me because you think i'm judgmental? funny.

yeah i think a lot of guys are slutty too.. so? i like girls, so i'm going to comment more about how slutty girls are.

Guys usually resort to calling girls slutty when they aren't getting any sex but everyone else seems to. Instead of it being a problem with the girls, maybe its a problem with you?

I'm not judging you, I KNOW you are stupid.

Originally posted by if you are
maybe it's because we're so impatient and have an "instant gratification" outlook now


you have a good point there

Originally posted by I_was_aborted

I'm not judging you, I KNOW you are stupid.

that's cool. i know you're stupid too.

Originally posted by I_was_aborted
Guys usually resort to calling girls slutty when they aren't getting any sex but everyone else seems to. Instead of it being a problem with the girls, maybe its a problem with you?



i agree with this post. marriage is a double standard too - women are expected to be everything "a wife in the living room and a whore in the bedroom"