View Full Version : mySpace.com/billycorgan


fuk_tha_nub
04-09-2005, 03:28 PM
check out the awesome new track up on billy's myspace page
and also check out a new message from billy as well as band member listings and other general info !!!!!!!

http://www.myspace.com/billycorgan


enjoy!!!

fuk_tha_nub
04-09-2005, 03:29 PM
Saturday, April 09, 2005

The year is 1986…
Current mood: bouncy

The year is 1986…picture me standing alone on a sidewalk in the old-town type area of Ybor City, Florida, watching a local band play thru the glass of a storefront coffee bar…the band has its back to the street, playing to a small audience of about 20 or so people inside…my hair is ratted, died blue-black, standing up and out…my eyes are ringed black as well, carefully drawn on the inside of my bottom eyelid…I am wearing polyester thrift store clothes, way too small for my 6 feet 4 inch body…the band I am watching has their look down, in matching suits ala late 60’s psych-pop…they play a sort of retro mix, not totally faithful to the “good old days”, with a nice touch of 80’s atmosphere thrown in for good measure…it is a simple time, where singing about vague feelings of unease thru jumbled, cut-up sentences seemed to sum up the grey clouds of middle class doom that hung over our pretty heads…I can’t go in, because I am not yet 21, (no fake i.d., I’m 19) but even if I could, I cannot afford the cover charge because I have absolutely no money…I am living in a storefront just over the bay in St. Pete, where roaches casually climb over me while I sleep…I am just there, waiting, watching…I do not know what I am waiting for…the band plays on, they are right there in front of me, just 5 feet away…in that moment, they seem to have it all…a stage, an audience, a look, a sound…I for the life of me do not know how to close the distance between me and them…the glass might as well be a stone wall 400 feet high…

The rent on the storefront where I live in the summer of 1986 is 255$ a month, which means my share is approx. 86$ (Ron, the drummer, and Dale, the bass player, cover the rest)…as long as I can come up with that money, I have a place to live…getting food to eat is a whole other deal…I refuse to beg for spare change, so I patch together meals thru the grace of friends, their leftovers, and or once in a while having a few bucks left over money from playing a show at some dive…when desperate, I stand in the soup line with the down and out at the local mission…they usually serve macaroni and cheese, which I can deal with if I am really starving…the owner of the storefront doesn’t know I am living there in squalor…we have told him it is just our rehearsal space, and I often have to lie if he sees me coming out of there at 8am that I had just dropped by to pick something up…I try not to make too much noise and thereby give myself away (I play my boombox very low), and we only practice at night when the restaurant next door is closed…my “home” is on the main drag, next to an interstate that passes high overhead…because of its somewhat obscure location, and the cover it offers for rain, the overpass is also where the hookers line up around 9pm to work…when I am bored, I sit outside and talk to them as they stroll by…they ask me what I am doing, and I tell them I am just watching, hanging out…the rainstorms are beautiful, the traffic rolling by usually light, so it’s just me and the orange lightning and the trannies and their tragedies…we often engage in metaphysical discussions about the unfairness of life, how the dice don’t always roll the way you want them to…we share the bond of being lost, but somehow knowing we are exactly where we belong, doing what we are supposed to be doing…there is an air of resignation, and a kind hope that the storms will end just as quickly as they begin…cause the storms aren’t very good for business…every once in a while, I call collect up to Chicago to talk to my dad…he keeps the calls short because “it costs a lot of money”…I can’t give him a number because I don’t have one…I usually just call him from the gas station payphone…when I left Chicago to come down here, I left my old car behind…a ’75 camaro that was once the family car, but was given to me and I paid to have it fixed up so it is now “mine”…but in my family, “mine” usually still means “theirs”…I am desperate for cash, so I have asked my dad to sell the car…he tells me he has good news, that his friend Ray has bought the car for 250$…Ray is like a lot of my father’s “buddies”, drug addicts who are constantly trying to stay once step ahead of something: the taxman, the dope man, the grim reaper, ex-wives, kids, girlfriends, the boss, whatever…my dad always is surrounded by these solo hustlers…luckily for me, it is a multi-cultural experience, so I grow up around blacks and latinos and native americans and white trash who stop by at all hours to talk with my father, which usually means whomever and my father going into a room and closing the door for a bit and, oh by the way, don’t come in without knocking, cause their busy…anyway, Ray has bought the car and my father is going to send me the money! Alright, I’m set for a little while…so I start borrowing from friends, saying that the money will be arriving in a week, and I will pay them back immediately…at this point, I have been down there long enough that my new friends trust me, and this being the first time I asked anyone for anything, they graciously front me 20 bucks here and 20 bucks there…a week passes, no money from dad…I call him, and he swears the money is on it’s way, in fact he just mailed it yesterday and not to worry…I remember going to the corner store and contemplating whether or not I should spend $1.86 on a bag of doughnuts, because this extravagance would eat into my final 5 dollars handily, and there was no one else to borrow from…I lied and told myself the money was gonna come, what was the big deal?…and those doughnuts were good! (the white powdered kind) finally, after a month of this charade, I call my father at wits end and plead with him for my money…he tells me he is sorry, that he had spent the money and there wasn’t gonna be any money coming…I asked him thru tears how he could have done that to me, and he said quite plainly “I spent it because I needed it more than you”…and that was that…

My real name is William Patrick Corgan, and I was born at Columbus Hospital (just across from beautiful Lincoln Park which straddles Lake Michigan) in Chicago at 5:41 pm on March 17, 1967…most know me as Billy Corgan, but “he” didn’t arrive until age 18…my father was Billy, and I was known to the family as “little” Bill…I am the architect of the “Billy Corgan” that you know and love, or hate, or don’t give 2 cares about…I created him, and at times have loved him, feared him, and despised him more than you could possibly dream up…it is the author of this being that wants to tell you this story…depending on how you look at it, it is the brutal truth or a sad sob story…a tale of glory and failure or the fictional scrapings of a madman and has-been…the author is ok with however you take it, because it happened TO ME…the closets are thrown open, and the sweet mist of a life blown by come spilling out…there are dead bodies and old pictures and pornographic gasps and ghosts so shy they are the ghosts of ghosts…but all the voices are here, and they want to talk to you…in fact, there is a fight as to who goes first! But it’s all the same, cause in my mind all is happening at all times…backwards and forwards, we can survey what has happened and what is yet to come, and have a laugh and a cry…but in the end, it is my wish that there will be no more secrets worth keeping, and no more fear worth running from…all that should remain is the clear heart and a vibrant joy, and of course, music…

Axis of Action
04-09-2005, 03:33 PM
I'm so glad the song is called sorry and towards the end he sings "heavy metal... heavy metal machine"

fuk_tha_nub
04-09-2005, 03:34 PM
the best thing ive ever heard!!!

Dead
04-09-2005, 03:36 PM
Awesome!

thuway
04-09-2005, 05:05 PM
That post hit me in the heart right there. Fucking amazing.

Thats why the smashing pumpkins were made, because of that tensed up bs billy went through.

Geah...... its so wierd, our Corgan is becoming this accessible to us fans?

Deleted_User
04-09-2005, 05:57 PM
that was gorgeously vivid.

Deleted_User
04-09-2005, 05:59 PM
and ybor city is a shithole. i can attest to that.

Quagmire
04-09-2005, 06:10 PM
i love the new material!

Mariner
04-09-2005, 06:19 PM
it's sort of like the non-clipping embodiment of clipping

unless it clips, i couldn't tell

Cool As Ice Cream
04-09-2005, 06:27 PM
Originally posted by fuk_tha_nub
check out the awesome new track up on billy's myspace pagethere's nothing new about that track.

tcm
04-09-2005, 06:29 PM
Originally posted by CoolAsIceCream
there's nothing new about that track.
not in the sense of being newly recorded, but we've never heard it before.

Isle
04-09-2005, 06:32 PM
would it be retarded for me to ask: is this for real?

remember billy is supposed to be writing up blog posts with allegorical messages and shit for us soon.

Cool As Ice Cream
04-09-2005, 06:33 PM
Originally posted by tcm

not in the sense of being newly recorded, but we've never heard it before. we've heard more than enough versions of heavy metal machine. and they all sounded like this.

tcm
04-09-2005, 06:33 PM
Originally posted by Isle
would it be retarded for me to ask: is this for real?
yes.

tcm
04-09-2005, 06:36 PM
Originally posted by CoolAsIceCream
we've heard more than enough versions of heavy metal machine. and they all sounded like this.
you should know that, despite common practice, q-tips only make matters worse.

Spaldz
04-09-2005, 06:52 PM
This is quality!

Aphrodisiac
04-09-2005, 07:07 PM
Originally posted by thuway
Geah...... its so wierd, our Corgan is becoming this accessible to us fans?
Exactly my thoughts. somethings not right here

zerock
04-09-2005, 07:08 PM
Originally posted by tcm

you should know that, despite common practice, q-tips only make matters worse.

SpFission
04-09-2005, 07:08 PM
thats definately not billy corgan sorry....and that song was terrible

tomthum81
04-09-2005, 07:11 PM
the best thing ive ever heard!!!
i know you're kidding dude... worst song ever...

ladollyvita
04-09-2005, 07:13 PM
Is this for real or what??

Why would he bother putting a lengthy post up on there when he has his own website?

Arg. I hate myspace, it's ugly, and there's so many fakers.

MrPantyFAce
04-09-2005, 07:25 PM
billy is cool

vanilla
04-09-2005, 07:32 PM
i can't hear the song because i'm at work, but the story sounds real.

fuk_tha_nub
04-09-2005, 07:35 PM
billy is so cool and he loves myspace so much he has like 3 accounts !!!!! 1 music page and at least 2 personal pages !!!!
go myspace and go billy !!!!!

Dr Riot
04-09-2005, 07:41 PM
Woah. What can I say.. :2thumbsup

zerock
04-09-2005, 07:43 PM
Originally posted by MrPantyFAce
billy is god

MrPantyFAce
04-09-2005, 07:45 PM
Originally posted by zerock
i give false quotes

Dead
04-09-2005, 07:57 PM
Originally posted by tcm

you should know that, despite common practice, q-tips only make matters worse.
That's why I had my ears candled twice today, then put on some SP and it sounded 2x as good as before.

tcm
04-09-2005, 07:59 PM
Originally posted by Dead

That's why I had my ears candled twice today, then put on some SP and it sounded 2x as good as before.
excellent, dude.

Dead
04-09-2005, 08:05 PM
Whoever wrote that is a good writer at least.

Dead
04-09-2005, 08:06 PM
Originally posted by tcm

excellent, dude.
Yeah, I was amazed. I thought these headphones were alright but now I realize they kick major ass. I've had them for like 2 years.

NilSineDeo
04-09-2005, 08:47 PM
BC.com did say that his myspace was coming soon, so this could very well be the real thing.

Also notice some of his info...
influences: Fox News
genre: Indie
sounds like: a cat being strangled by a mouse

sounds like the same kind of humor that's on BC.com right now

ladollyvita
04-09-2005, 10:30 PM
Originally posted by fuk_tha_nub
billy is so cool and he loves myspace so much he has like 3 accounts !!!!! 1 music page and at least 2 personal pages !!!!
go myspace and go billy !!!!!
At least two (possibly even all) of those are fakes.

Anyone can register these things. There are so many fake celebrity myspace's, it's hilarious, you should check out the Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston one's, people are actually commenting saying how sorry they are about the breakup - hah - there's a sucker born every minute!

Having said that, I really like that 'introductory' post, and I hope Billy did write it. I just don't understand why he would put it there when he has BillyCorgan.com for pouring his heart out to us...

Quiet CD
04-09-2005, 10:40 PM
its not fake... its a horrible attempt at a myspace page for promotion, but its real

drbenway
04-09-2005, 11:05 PM
To those who know the site is real... How do you know it's for real?

vanilla
04-09-2005, 11:16 PM
Originally posted by drbenway
To those who know the site is real... How do you know it's for real?
how do we know you're for real?

fuk_tha_nub
04-09-2005, 11:20 PM
is if that one is real then what about this one

http://www.myspace.com/thefutureembrace

so which one is the real one???

quandar
04-09-2005, 11:21 PM
These people assume it because on BC.com it says:
well, i have...
soon: album, mySpace, video, more me, tour, love...
But what makes us to believe that site wasn't hacked?
Either that or Billy has a very strange sense of humor.
EDIT: The one above seems more authentic... I dont know.

fuk_tha_nub
04-09-2005, 11:30 PM
it does and its a fake

here is another one

http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=3653035&Mytoken=20050409203041

and another one

http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=1670466&Mytoken=20050409203041

and yet another

http://www.myspace.com/13004081

ZWANPHONY
04-10-2005, 12:46 AM
you people are retarded, except the ones having fun with the newbies that don't know any better.

Deleted_User
04-10-2005, 01:03 AM
Originally posted by vanilla

how do we know you're for real? dude what is reality.

fuk_tha_nub
04-10-2005, 01:13 AM
myspace is so cool billy put up like 4 pages just so i could get to eveyone who needs to talk to him - go b()lly go you m-f'r

Dead
04-10-2005, 01:23 AM
Ok after seeing that pic of him as a kid on that site it seems faaake. But the story was conviiincing.

quandar
04-10-2005, 01:24 AM
If you listen to the demo on that one page, it matches with the video of a demo that was leaked, perfectly, sound and everything, I chatted with the guy, he is convincing and knowledgable but that was a flaw and he cannot change that one.

Dead
04-10-2005, 01:29 AM
What was a flaw? You talked to the guy who runs that page? If you did then it's fake.

quandar
04-10-2005, 01:32 AM
the flaw was the demo with the exact same audio as a previously released video. Production and everything.

Dead
04-10-2005, 01:33 AM
Oh I thought you were saying that's why the demo was real. Damn someone wrote that entire convincing 1986 thing just as a fake? It's good.

quandar
04-10-2005, 01:36 AM
The demo is infact Billy, its just been leaked long before, therefore some douche could have just extracted the audio and posted it under Billy's name calling it a FutureEmbrace demo.

Dead
04-10-2005, 01:38 AM
Ah they called it that? I only saw the HMM song on there.

quandar
04-10-2005, 01:44 AM
I am talking about this one dead:
http://www.myspace.com/thefutureembrace

Dead
04-10-2005, 01:57 AM
Whoa I thought you meant the one with the convincing 1986 story.

douglas78
04-10-2005, 02:24 AM
well, in any event, i asked to be added as friend to about three of those profiles. hopefully one of them is real or this is just some fucked up joke.

douglas78
04-10-2005, 02:35 AM
well im a friend on the 1986 story profile. i left a comment.

douglas78
04-10-2005, 02:42 AM
the 1986/black and white picture one has to be real. jimmy chamberlin complex is listed in the friend list. it's the real jimmy profile. check that out.

Dead
04-10-2005, 02:45 AM
The picture seems too dumb. If that's really him he must have just swiped the pic from some website.

douglas78
04-10-2005, 02:54 AM
isnt it just so ******* exciting! well now im just glued to myspace. now i blow ass.:p

Spaldz
04-10-2005, 06:39 AM
OMG I'M ON THE BILLY ONE AND IT SAYS HE IS ONLINE NOW.

However..it's like 11:42 here in the UK so its damn early in wherever Billy is. However, if these things aren't real then they are pretty damn amazing fakes.

Spaldz
04-10-2005, 06:45 AM
Well is Billy playing the Field Museum in Chicago on April 28th?? It says that under upcoming shows.

zerock
04-10-2005, 09:11 AM
hmm even if this things arent real or not, i just had a great idea, i thought billy should pursue, when he starts touring, that he would tour with the complex, that would be sweet.

douglas78
04-10-2005, 11:36 AM
i would say most likely, he will be at the complex show on the 29th. why wouldnt he. he's been at all of them according to people who have been to earlier shows. besides, it's in chicago. he doesnt pass up special shows in chicago.....

Deleted_User
04-10-2005, 01:08 PM
Originally posted by Dead
The picture seems too dumb. If that's really him he must have just swiped the pic from some website. or his own yearbook

Spaldz
04-10-2005, 04:28 PM
I'm guessing the futureembrace one was fake?

http://www.myspace.com/thefutureembrace

Dead
04-10-2005, 04:53 PM
Originally posted by DERMATOFIBROSARCOMAPROTUBERANS
or his own yearbook
Yeah he sat down and got out his scanner and scanned & photoshopped it up. :rolleyes:

tcm
04-10-2005, 05:33 PM
Originally posted by Dead

Yeah he sat down and got out his scanner and scanned & photoshopped it up. :rolleyes:
yeah it's not like he has the money to pay other people to do it for him. :rolleyes:

fuk_tha_nub
04-10-2005, 09:37 PM
Originally posted by Spaldz
I'm guessing the futureembrace one was fake?

http://www.myspace.com/thefutureembrace

well this page has sent out private messages to its friends list with links to some songs as well as some "sorry im leaving but until myspace can fix the wrongs here im gone "
not that this makes it real - just a little more real than any of the others so far

Nova
04-10-2005, 10:45 PM
I don't think this is real. but wtf, this "sorry" is a really fucked up version of Heavy Metal Machine and I've never heard these vocals before.

What the flyin' fuck is going on?

ZWANPHONY
04-11-2005, 12:05 AM
Originally posted by Nova
I don't think this is real. but wtf, this "sorry" is a really fucked up version of Heavy Metal Machine and I've never heard these vocals before.

What the flyin' fuck is going on?

it's simply a filter. that is the same heavy metal machine alt from machina ii. you kids really need to really need to think about professionalism and how those sites really sucked. you also need to quit being so gullible.

but if you're listening to me, then you're being gullible...so pick your fucking path and head that way. see you there.

Luke de Spa
04-11-2005, 12:22 AM
Originally posted by Nova
I don't think this is real. but wtf, this "sorry" is a really fucked up version of Heavy Metal Machine and I've never heard these vocals before.

What the flyin' fuck is going on? I know I'd damn well apologise for inflicting that on unsuspecting ears.

Voice Implodes
04-11-2005, 07:09 AM
Originally posted by ladollyvita
Is this for real or what??

Why would he bother putting a lengthy post up on there when he has his own website?

Arg. I hate myspace, it's ugly, and there's so many fakers.

exactly what i thought. and why would he not put a NEW or at least NEWER song up to be played?

mistle
04-11-2005, 08:04 AM
Originally posted by ZWANPHONY


it's simply a filter. that is the same heavy metal machine alt from machina ii

no it isn't. and it's not the one from the faeomm tape either

edit: hm.. i listened again and it's definitely the same vocals.. so maybe you're right.. can you really do all that with just filters? it's very different

mistle
04-11-2005, 08:22 AM
oh and

Originally posted by ZWANPHONY


you kids really need to really need to think about professionalism and how those sites really sucked.

have you seen billycorgan.com?

smashing0
04-11-2005, 08:58 AM
turns out they are all fake and they are all being shut down
too bad... i really liked that story
:cool:

Spaldz
04-11-2005, 09:06 AM
Originally posted by smashing0
turns out they are all fake and they are all being shut down
too bad... i really liked that story
:cool:

how did you find that out?

milandejong
04-11-2005, 09:23 AM
Why the hell would Billy post on MySpace...

And what's the deal with billycorgan.com? Has it been hacked or what!!!
That hacker should have learned some Flash, because the original site was in Flash, as where zwan.com and smashingpumpkins.com.

smashing0
04-11-2005, 10:13 AM
Originally posted by milandejong
Why the hell would Billy post on MySpace... all the cool people are doing it:cool:

Spaldz
04-11-2005, 10:21 AM
Originally posted by milandejong
Why the hell would Billy post on MySpace...

And what's the deal with billycorgan.com? Has it been hacked or what!!!
That hacker should have learned some Flash, because the original site was in Flash, as where zwan.com and smashingpumpkins.com.

Wouldn't you think that the record company would of changed it already if it had been hacked?

ZWANPHONY
04-11-2005, 10:32 AM
Originally posted by smashing0
turns out they are all fake and they are all being shut down
too bad... i really liked that story
:cool:

i agree with this post.

and yes, you can do all of that with filters. if it was billy, he wouldn't have applied the effect to his voice as well as the guitar and the drums...that's just retarded.

Deleted_User
04-11-2005, 12:21 PM
oh ZWANPHONY you're so goddamn smart. please educate me in the ways of FILTERS.

Quiet CD
04-11-2005, 01:08 PM
the website is real... the myspace page is real myspace.com/billycorgan ... look at the new picture, thats from the walking shade video for sure, look at the scarf... such stupid people here

Fathoms (unadored)
04-11-2005, 02:12 PM
http://n00087.myspace.com/00087/20/10/87650102_m.jpg

Spaldz
04-11-2005, 03:01 PM
Wow that picture is amazing

fuk_tha_nub
04-11-2005, 03:09 PM
photoshop is the best :2thumbsup

and if the myspace is real is there not an official link from the website ??? and why is he not pushing the sp downloads on the myspace site like on the his website???

Spaldz
04-11-2005, 03:12 PM
New writing on there

The Marked rocks Florida!!!!

I figure out that if you put fresh pans of water in the corners at night, the roaches will climb in for some unknown reason and drown themselves...so each morning, I go around to the 4 corners of the 600 sq. ft. space and "collect" last night’s victims and dump them all in the toilet...the storefront has no shower, so I wash in the sink, using paper towels to dry myself off...(eventually, I will tire of this routine as well, and stop washing all together-my face being the only exception...VANITY!!-I will ultimately make it a full 6 weeks without bathing, finally losing the dank smell of sweat and grime and surreptitiously acquiring a sweet, phermonal type fragrance...mmmm) the other band members have jobs (unlike me), so we only practice maybe 2 or 3 times a week...I have a tremendous amount of time on my hands, so I become an expert at killing it...I just walk down the main street of st. pete, past the "soviet style" police station, past the homeless standing outside the temp agency looking for digging ditch work, the dirty pawn shops, the few tourist related deals, walking on all the way to the water...this is about a 30 min. jaunt, a stroll I make regularly in the 90 degree heat...because I am ashamed of my birthmark, I never wear short sleeve shirts, for total strangers ask me if I am deformed, or my all-time favourite, "did you get burned?...so I sweat it out in my long sleeve shirts, black being the optimal color (which doesn’t always work so well in the searing, deadly sunshine)...I just go sit on the pier and watch people fish...I am too shy to strike up conversations with strangers...I do not know what to do with myself, but I feel very free, as free as I have ever felt in my life...I have nothing, but that does not make me feel too bad, or self-conscious...sometimes, I go and hang out at this sort of resale shop that sells clothes and records...the guy who owns the place, and his buddies, are nice enough I suppose...they’ll say hello, and talk to me in that condescending way when someone thinks they are better than you, but since you cannot do anything about it they don’t really try to hide their disdain...the owner takes to calling me "nowhere man", after the beatles song, because I am nothing and absolutely going nowhere...having people see me as some kind of loser is hard to swallow, but what can I say, because I offer little evidence to the contrary...just down the block from my home/rehearsal space is another rehearsal space that sits on a corner...I make friends with this guy too, who, like me, is from somewhere else and going no-where in particular...he plays drums, so sometimes we jam and make some tapes...he is not very good, and he says maybe we should form a band, but he is just way too lonely-weird for me...but he is kind, and friendly, so we make friends more out of a sad desperation that any real attraction to each other as people...

When there is nothing else to do, I write songs...Dale, the bass player and original lead singer of the Marked, owns a drum machine... I have a little 4-track cassette that I have bought with my pizza delivery money, so I make tapes by myself...I don’t really have a sound in mind so much as I just want to "be" different from everything else...I try on every style I can think of, from Bauhaus and Love and Rockets to Ministry and Sisters of Mercy and even the Romantics (don’t forget the Cure, Echo and the Bunnymen, and various ‘raincoat bands’-a term I would later learn from Bono of U2 fame)...I make tapes for anyone who will listen, but I get almost no positive feedback...no one tells me I have a future making music, and most treat it as a consequence of my overall "lifestyle"...you know, I’m one of those guys who looks the part and acts the part but everyone knows he sucks...deep down, I really don’t care too much what anyone thinks about what I am doing...I feel like I am searching, trying to put together this massive puzzle that I only I can see how it is supposed to look when it is finished...at night, I tune into the college radio station, and listen to strange music from the distant past jumbled up with experimental art-type music...I wish I could mix all of these things together, but I don’t know how...I tune into religious stations, and tape the preachers going off about the devil, and hell, and eternal salvation...I stop recording in odd places, so when you play the tape back it sounds all cut-up...music at this point becomes an abstract...I don’t really so much care how to write songs so much as I want to make sound that makes me feel...it all goes in my head like a blender, all this noise and sound and isolation mixes up into a feeling that is elusive, but I can taste it in my mouth...I begin to focus more and more on sound as my paint...even though my voice is disappointing to me, I figure it is a sound like any other, and I just start thinking of it as another guitar...I come to realize that the band is a huge disappointment to me...it is too chaotic...though it gives us a reason to stick together and look and act the way we do, it’s has ceased to be about music...the original idea fades after a point, because there is no energy around to sustain it...we don’t stick with songs for too long anyway, as we keep dumping ones we grow bored with...when we do manage to practice, we don’t have a vocal p.a., so even though we learn each others songs (musically speaking), no one knows how the vocals go or sound until we actually go onstage to play a show!! (if you want to hear yourself sing in practice, you sing into the wall from about 2 feet) Our shows are fairly far and few between, and because the band might only bring in 20 people and drive the 10 that are already in there drinking out, we don’t often get asked back...for these many months, my life is just a haze of wasting space, making demos, walking around, and hopefully, going out at night to some club...I do a good job of hiding that I am in any pain, or lonely, or sad...but I do not feel lost...

a few bouncers that recognize me from playing gigs assume that I am over 21, and don’t bother to ask me for an i.d when I show up at their door...this is how I meet a fellow goth, whom I end up dating/sleeping with...she asks me to move in with her, and because I am so tired of bedding down with the roaches, I jump at the chance...the roommate, her male friend from school, who dances in clogs no less at the amusement park in the touristy "biergarten", doesn’t like me very much, and constantly complains to her that I am far too messy...this arrangement only lasts a short while (about a month or so), as I am not truly in love with the girl but am kinda going thru the motions (although at that time she was very nice to me, and I was generally appreciate of her tenderness, more on her later)...so I end up back on the floor of the rehearsal space with my friends "la cocaroachas"...my body is bruised purple and yellow all over from being anemic and sleeping on the hard, tile floor...I feel invisible, and the need to be "seen" by anyone as a real, feeling person begins to consume me...I meet an English girl, a drinker who takes an asexual liking to me...we become friends, and she begins picking me up at night to go over to her house and just talk...I begin to spend the night often, but we never kiss or touch...we just lay wordlessly in her bed, listening to The Fall, until she passes out...I feel like she just wants someone there next to her, and even though I feel needed, it also makes me sad because there is also a basic rejection in there somewhere, and it just makes me all the more lonely...

it is in this summer of 1986 that I see 2 shows that will have a tremendous bearing on my future (unknown to me at the time)...the first is the Red Hot Chili Peppers, who I see play in a small club with a robust audience of 100 people...little do I know that one day they will play a huge role in my life, and the ultimate success of the Smashing Pumpkins...the other band is a little more of a story...they play outside on a warm, cloudless night...I have never heard of them before, but a friend takes me to the show...I ask what kind of music the band plays, and they say "rasta"...I go, "um, like Bob Marley?"...I didn’t realize that I was going to see one of the greatest shows (and bands) of my life...the group is Bad Brains, a New York group of Rastafarians who played hardcore-speed metal mixed with large doses of reggae...their lead singer is a short, squat man with very long dreads named H.R...Bad Brains would play amazingly intense bursts of prog-metal music followed by a soothing 6 minutes of dub reggae...they were the first band that I ever saw that captured the rollercoaster dynamics that would later become the blueprint for grunge via the music of Jane’s Addiction and the Pixies...towards the end of a brilliant performance, H.R. climbed up the concrete bandshell that the band was playing in front of...when I say climbed, I mean he used his hands to scale the outer rim of the bandshell, so that the end result was that he was dangling 20ft above the band with his back to the audience while he still rocked out! (his dreads a-flyin’ like some Egyptian Medusa) Incredible!!...if he fell, he would kill himself...he hung for well over a minute thru his superhuman strength, and calmly slid himself down, hand by hand until he stood beaming back in front of an adoring crowd...(one day, the Bad Brains would open for the Pumpkins in France, one of the great honors of my life)

I meet a bona fide "model", a 17-year old who has been on the catwalks of Milan and Paris...she drives a fancy French car (a Peugeot, mon ami) and has money...she also is a photographer, and takes some of the earliest "art" type photos of me...(sadly, I don’t have any copies and have never been able to locate her)...she makes me feel special, and desired...I know for every intellectual reason that I should "like" her, but I just don’t...she is very beautiful and pixie-esqe, and seems very keen to hang out with me everyday...after getting to know each other for a few weeks, I start questioning her as to why we never go over to her house...she makes some excuses about her parents, saying they are uptight, whatever...one day she shows up where I live, and tells me she has some "presents" for me, and a "surprise"...I say fine, whatever, and we leave in her car...I do not know where we are going...we drive to a state park, where she parks in front of the outdoor bathrooms...she gets out my "presents", which turns out to be shampoo and some soap...SURPRISE!!!...she wants me to go into the dirty, filthy bathroom and clean up (I am not that dirty!)...I am absolutely offended, and tell her I do not feel comfortable showering at some shitty park bathroom...I tell her that if she wants me to bathe, why doesn’t she take me to her house, where I would feel safe, and it would be clean...she begs off, and the conversation goes nowhere...she makes me feel unreal, like a doll you find on the road but don’t want anyone to know where or how you found it...I stop "seeing" her when she shows up at my next show wearing a burlap bag for a dress...

I make friends with a married couple...they are the 80’s version of the "cool alt" people who are in their 30’s...they listen to the right bands, go to all the best shows, drive an old car...she is a hairstylist who cuts my hair for free so that it will rat up and stick out better...every once in a while I go over to their house and hang out, and they are gracious enough to feed me...I really look up to them as an example of a couple who don’t sell out when you get old...they really seem to support each other, and integrate as a couple in a way that they seem like stronger individuals...they really give me hope that one day I can find the right person for me...I was sad later then when I heard they were getting a divorce...I asked whoever was telling me this ‘Why? What happened? They seemed so happy’... they told me that the husband had been busted for picking up a prostitute who just happened to be an undercover cop...(in the wife’s car, no less)

One cool evening, I run into someone I see regularly out and about...we get to talking, and one thing leads to another, and she invites me back to her apartment...she makes me some soup, and after I am fed full, pulls me into her bed...the lights are turned off, and we start kissing...each time I try to touch her ‘down there’, she moves away from me and tenses up...this goes on for about 10 minutes until I finally ask if there is a problem...she says "there is something I have to tell you", and proceeds to tell me that she is a he...I jump up and flip on the light...she/he says "look, it’s not a big deal, I won’t tell anyone, please stay, I’ll do anything you want me to do"...I beg off politely, saying it’s not really my trip, and I’m *boom* out the door, on the street laughing to myself (how could I not know! Oops...) it occurs to me that I always thought she was a kind of weird looking girl anyway...I walked the 20 minutes home in the middle of the night, and was relieved to get back safe...I go inside, walk to the bathroom and throw on the light, and gasp when I see the massive hickie on my neck...of course, the next day the band is rehearsing, and when they see the mark, ask who I had ended up with...I lie and say it was a tourist type girl who had already left town...after a few weeks, friends start coming up and asking me if I had slept with the he/she...I feign ignorance at the whole matter, but I start to get angry because I felt I had been duped innocently, acted honorably, and now some sort of revenge was being played out...after a couple more weeks of this, I finally pulled "her" aside and said not so politely that if he didn’t stop telling people what had happened, that I would break both his arms and his legs...and that was the end of that...

I’m so desperate for cash that I get up early and head down to the temporary agency...if you stand around long enough, someone will call on you and send you out somewhere to pound nails into a roof...I stand across the street at 7am looking at all the men milling about, wearing work clothes and hard hats and whatever...I am dressed like some sort of wedding reject, with a dress shirt on and pants that are too short...this is the best I can do for "work clothes"...I stand there for 45 minutes, looking at these men, trying to summon up the courage to go across the street and do an honest days work...to me, it is like a line that if I cross, I can’t go back over it...I feel like I am saying to myself that if I go and do this, I am, in some part of my being, giving up on my music...not just as a way of life but as a way out of the fucking rat race, the same rat race all my ancestors lived thru (with dignity, I might add)...I think of my grandma with her rough, sliced up hands (from stuffing envelopes all day) and her messed up back...I don’t want to give in to all that, it is not as simple as whether or not I want to work (I do)...no one will hire me at the places I want to work at anyway, so this is it I figure...after standing, and waiting, and flipping it in my mind 1,000 times, I give up and go back to the space...I decide I’d rather starve...

somewhere along the way thru this mess of my 19th year, somebody mentions that maybe I should try telephone marketing work...this way I will be indoors, not fry in the sun outside, and since I am so good at talking shit, be good at it and who knows, maybe I will make some moo-lah! Alright, where do I sign up? I check the paper, and see an ad for some place that sells something basic, like light bulbs...I think "how bad can it be?" and head down there about 10am...I meet the guy in charge, and he says "please sit down, name, blah blah etc etc"...then he says, "what is your disability?" "huh, excuse me sir?" (long pause)...he says again,slowly "what is your disability?" I catch on quick and realize that you must have some sort of disability to work at this place...so I tell him I am deaf in one ear...he asks a few other basic questions (related to my new found ‘problem’), and this seems to satisfy him (even though I think he knows I am lying)...he blurts "great, you are hired" and I ask him meekly "when do I start? To which he happily replies "well, how about right now?!"...he rattles off the procedures, rules and the like, stressing that calls are monitored and you must ask permission to go to the washroom...he hands me a script, which reads something like this:

hello mr/mrs _____, how are you today? My name is ____, and I am a disabled American working for a living...you can appreciate that, can’t you mr/mrs ____ that rather than sponge off the government, I am a hard working citizen? (pause) we are making a special, one-time offer to you today on our miracle cleaner that can clean anything off of anything, it’s the million and one uses "MIRACLE CLEAN!!" now, how many bottles would you like to purchase today, mr/mrs ____, for the special one-time price of $19.99? (if answer is no, cont.) if you act now, we will throw in a second bottle of MIRACLE CLEAN absolutely free for NO CHARGE!!! Would you like to use a credit card mr/mrs _____?? Ok, are you interested in any of our EVERLAST LIGHTBULBS?? One bulb lasts for ever with a lifetime guarantee, all for the super low, one-time price of $9.99!!! so, how many would you like to purchase today, mr/mrs _____? One dozen bulbs for $39.99...Ok, are you interested in any of our WONDERCARE CHILD VITAMINS?? Just one pill satisfies all the nutritional needs of a growing blah blah blah blah blah...

So "the boss" (who, by the way, is a 30 something stoner, slightly overweight, got the security guard attitude) tears me a strip from the phonebook, where every persons last name is JOHNSON, and says good luck...I sit down in my little cubicle, and dial the first number...ring, ring, (a man answers)...I say sunnily "Hello, Mr. Johnson, this is///CLICK-(sound of dead telephone line bzzzzz)...next call, ring, ring (a ladies voice) "Ah, hello?" "Hello, Mrs. Johnson, how are you today? My name is William, and I am a disabled blah blah" She angrily cuts me off..."are you selling those ‘never gonna burn out’ light bulbs??" I say "Yes ma’am, as a matter of fact I am" She ejects bitterly "Well, let-me-tell-you, I bought some of your shitty light bulbs last year and they totally sucked!!! Fuck you!!!!!" (sound of phone being slammed, air whooshing, compression of plastic against plastic-CLICK!, sound of dead line bzzzz-zzzz-zzz) I immediately start freaking out...not only am I lying about being disabled, but I am selling crap nobody wants...this totally does suck! (I begin to empathize with the lady who has been ripped off-typical pisces) I ask permission to go to the bathroom (funny look from the dude, cause it’s been 5 minutes since I have had the job for only 5 minutes)...I get inside the john, put my back against the door, and start totally hyper-venilating...my mind is screaming "I can’t do this, I can’t do this" over and over...another voice (in my collapsing head) keeps reminding me that I have no money and no way to get any food to eat, so I MUST WORK HERE, and might wanna try to deal...if I could just calm down a bit, go back out, climb back in my little cardboard hole, and try again, everything will be fine...ring CLICK, fuck you ring ring, CLICK, no answer, no answer....I start praying that each call will come up with no one to answer it....no answer, no confrontation!...I start to get wise...if I just call the same number, over and over again, that no one will answer on, I won’t have to talk to anyone! Now I got a plan...I make 5 "dead" no answer calls, and then randomly try someone on the list...To my surprise, I almost make a sale with a nice woman, but in the end she says she just can’t afford it and can I please call back tomorrow? I look nervously at the clock...15 minutes to lunch...I sweat it out, feeling awful, crawl to the lunch break, calmly walk out the door and just keep walking...

After 6 months of living here, and there, I start to get really desperate...I look like shit, my bones ache, my skin crawls, and I feel totally displaced, a child out of time...music begins to seem like my enemy, my captor...I wake one morning, just as the sun is coming up, and make the long, slow crawl to the beach...I sit on a cold wooden park bench, watching the pelicans do their suicide dive into the murky water...the park is totally empty, and the sun is barely just come up...I can see for a quarter mile in either direction if anyone is approaching me...I feel a little scared, because there are addicts and low-lifes in town who might still be up and out at this hour, so my guard is truly up...I have hit rock bottom, tasting the bitter root of my own dumb dream...by coming to "God’s waiting room" (as St. Petersberg is called by the locals because of the many elderly who move there to die) and naively thinking there was something here for me to do...that just by getting up on a stage the life I desire would magically appear...the band is a disaster, my life is a joke, and I have no idea of what I need to do to stop feeling so empty...literally, out of nowhere, a man approaches me (he is only about 10 ft. away)...I feel a little freaked, because I had just looked in that direction and there was no one there...it’s about 6 a.m. now, and he is heading straight at me...for the life of me I cannot figure out where he came from...he walks up to me and hands me a piece of paper...he is about 40, normal looking, smiles, says nothing, and moves on...I look at the piece of paper, and it is a small pamphlet about accepting Jesus Christ into your life ("are you lost? Are you seeking for something true?-I still have the piece of pamphlet-)...I have to laugh at the absurdity of it all...I figure someone is trying to tell me something, but I am not sure what...I watch the guy disappear off in the distance...the entire time I am in the park, which is about 1 hour, he is the only soul I see...

Ron, the drummer, begins dating one of these 2 crazy sisters who we would occasionally hang out with...next thing I know, he is living with them in their parents nice, clean, suburban house...the sisters are 19 and 17, and they invite me to stay there as well...I start by sleeping in the other sisters bed, but nothing is going on...all of this doesn’t seem to bother the parents, (who are the most wonderful and open people) the idea of having 2 goth derelicts in the house, sleeping with their daughters!!...since I have lost about 20 pounds from eating so little, the parents set about making sure I get enough good food to eat, and lend us their car so we can run errands...some nights when bored, we drive down to an old 1920’s hotel that is all in ruins, abandoned on the bayshore...we hop the fence, and go sit in the faded ballroom...it seems like there are ghosts in here with you, and I vividly imagine the life these people had, a life of glamour and style and luxury...it is the kind of life I can only dream of, penniless and disenchanted...we are wandering souls, and our dreams, if we have any, are of going somewhere far away from "here", but there are few thoughts that anyone of us will actually make it...so in that way we truly are "in the moment" (as they say), because the sweet moment we are in (sitting here in a broken down hotel on these starry nights), is just as good as any we might conjure up...

As the pressure in the band continues to mount, we hang out together less and less...weeks go by, and I begin to resent that they don’t seem to care about me, or the band anymore...there has been a hidden power struggle forming as I write more and more songs, becoming the lead singer in people’s eyes...Dale’s voice, which I always liked, seems to turn people off...I defend him left and right, but people tell me to get rid of him and have my "own band"...the typical rumours and gossip get fired up and fly around us, and eventually it all becomes typically unbearable...so after any old normal show, on a normal weekday night, with 10 people in the audience, we just went out to the parking lot, loaded up the equipment, and said what no one really wanted to say, but everyone felt must happen...and the band broke up just like that...no super drama, no tears...I was crushed, shocked that no one wanted to fight for it more (a scene that would be repeated, almost to a tee, in the distant future with Zwan)...it just seemed like such a total waste, all that effort, all that music, for nothing!...and the worst part was I now knew I would have to go back to Chicago with my "tail between my legs", disgraced, broke, broken, and move back in with my father...

fuk_tha_nub
04-11-2005, 03:13 PM
fake

Spaldz
04-11-2005, 03:13 PM
I'm sorry but how can that be fake? Who can make that stuff up with that degree of information?

fuk_tha_nub
04-11-2005, 03:23 PM
anyone who wanted to thats who

fuk_tha_nub
04-11-2005, 03:26 PM
nevermind i just got added to the myspace friends list _ its real its fucking real and im one of billy's friends !!!!!!!! woo hoo !!!!!

Cool As Ice Cream
04-11-2005, 03:29 PM
Originally posted by fuk_tha_nub
nevermind i just got added to the myspace friends list _ its real its fucking real and im one of billy's friends !!!!!!!! woo hoo !!!!! hehe, that's funny. even if it's real.

MrPantyFAce
04-11-2005, 03:30 PM
billy is cool

fuk_tha_nub
04-11-2005, 03:46 PM
i love our new billy - he is so smart - i mean posting stories of events from like 20 years ago on his myspace account is what i would do if i were him and had my first solo record coming out in like 2 months - oh and i wouldnt keep the messages up very long either - dont want people to read them too many times ya know and plus i would put up a hack fuck version of hmm too !!! thats a great choice to promote change and growth as an artist !!!! this myspace thing is the best thing ever - i get to be billy's friend and everyone can see it - im on the list - im his friend - and oh yeah my name is Really Fucking Desperate !!!!

and here is a link to myspace
www.myspace.com/billycorgan

add me as a friend i will see about getting you one my good friend billy's list too !!!!!!1

wpc33
04-11-2005, 04:04 PM
None of us know for sure, but there is more evidence in favour of this myspace stuff than against. In fact, there is no evidence against. I'm not 100% on this, but I'd like to believe and I'm not gonna be foolhardy and proclaim:
"fake!1!"
Just to look equally as stupid for being wrong on that side of the fence. Remember the post not on billy's official site that announced the new LP title? People said that was fake too, so whatever. I love these stories <3

NilSineDeo
04-11-2005, 04:07 PM
hate to break the news to everyone who wanted to believe it, but the site was shut down, because like Will said, they're all fake.

once all the fakes are gone, myspace is going to help Billy set one up, and make sure more fakes don't pop up

douglas78
04-11-2005, 04:08 PM
hey, i was added as a friend too. it only took like 15 minutes. i wonder if he has somebody doing it, or like some automated type thing that cuts off at about 1000 friends??:p

fuk_tha_nub
04-11-2005, 04:08 PM
sorry but just like one of the accounts announced yesterday all fake billy accounts were just deleted - music + personal due to fakes - the real account was thefutureembrace account that was manually deleted yesterday

Mariner
04-11-2005, 04:16 PM
the he/she story is an instant classic

poor wayward young bill

plastic ninja
04-11-2005, 04:20 PM
I heard they were all supposed to be deleted.

As of last night, early this morning /billycorgan was removed. It is back up now, with updates! Go figure.

DamingR
04-11-2005, 04:44 PM
Seems like a pretty elaborate hoax, and sounds awfully realistic for billy, but...

"Invalid Friend ID.
This user has either cancelled their membership, or their acccount has been deleted."

RockLobster
04-11-2005, 05:37 PM
that's a great confession from billy

ZackZ
04-11-2005, 05:39 PM
If it really is fake, whoever is doing it is completely fucking insane.

I find this to be unbelievable:

I never wear short sleeve shirts, for total strangers ask me if I am deformed, or my all-time favourite, "did you get burned?

Deformed? How is having a red hand equivalent to being deformed?

purelunacy77
04-11-2005, 05:44 PM
its on billycorgan.com

fake?????

pineapple*soul
04-11-2005, 05:55 PM
Originally posted by purelunacy77
its on billycorgan.com

fake?????

no fake

fuk_tha_nub
04-11-2005, 06:03 PM
got a myspace pm a few hours ago confirming that they myspace had handed all the accounts over the warner bros early today inorder to fix the situation and in fact the music space is now the official account and was taken over early today and will be undergoing various changes and corrections as time permits
the message came from gman

Corganist
04-11-2005, 06:03 PM
Man, I tend to think this is the real deal. And as such, I'm kinda hoping in a wierd way that this confessional streak goes on through a telling of the Pumpkin years. I found the all the entry about the Marked stuff pretty damn engrossing.

And I decided to break down and get a myspace account. For whatever that's worth.

pineapple*soul
04-11-2005, 06:08 PM
Originally posted by Corganist
Man, I tend to think this is the real deal. And as such, I'm kinda hoping in a wierd way that this confessional streak goes on through a telling of the Pumpkin years. I found the all the entry about the Marked stuff pretty damn engrossing.

And I decided to break down and get a myspace account. For whatever that's worth.

i smell an autobiography

or feet



probably feet

RockLobster
04-11-2005, 06:17 PM
It sounds like a william corgan testimony now that he has found "christ"

MrPantyFAce
04-11-2005, 06:18 PM
as i said a minute ago, ye of little faith (i deleted that when the myspace account was then down, not to make look like an idiot)....... someone posted the otherday about talking to billy at a jcc show and he said something about being too old to be hiding anymore....i look forward to detailed acid trip tales.

Deleted_User
04-11-2005, 06:46 PM
Originally posted by MrPantyFAce
as i said a minute ago, ye of little faith (i deleted that when the myspace account was then down, not to make look like an idiot)....... someone posted the otherday about talking to billy at a jcc show and he said something about being too old to be hiding anymore....i look forward to detailed acid trip tales. yeah.

this makes me really excited. everytime a new album is about to come out, the more i feel like im twelve years old again. even though it sucked ass to be twelve.

Deleted_User
04-11-2005, 06:48 PM
plus. these stories that take place in florida. dunno. makes them all more real to me.

selection7
04-11-2005, 11:31 PM
I was thinking to myself at the time you gotta be pretty clueless to think someone with that kind of writing talent, with that kind of inside info about how billy thinks and with the exact sort of writing "voice" that Billy likes to use would waste his or her time writing an elaborate fake story like that. I've seen some good fake stories out there on the net but like Charlie Murphy says, sometimes "you just can't make that sh*t up". The difference between the fake billy pages and the real billy myspace page was pretty obvious to anyone willing to notice.

twilightfadez
04-14-2005, 11:03 PM
has anyone else messaged him and gotten a reply?

boynameddarcy
04-14-2005, 11:39 PM
HOLE CRAP. I had no idea this was the real deal. So weird...

pee pee colada
04-14-2005, 11:41 PM
Originally posted by twilightfadez
has anyone else messaged him and gotten a reply? anyone ELSE?

ELSE???

vanilla
04-14-2005, 11:50 PM
Originally posted by twilightfadez
has anyone else messaged him and gotten a reply?
yeah. it was dumb tho, my message.

Quagmire
04-15-2005, 12:37 AM
Originally posted by vanilla

yeah. it was dumb tho, my message.

what was it?

sledge
04-15-2005, 12:49 AM
Originally posted by ZackZ

Deformed? How is having a red hand equivalent to being deformed?


Webster's Dictionary (http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?book=Dictionary&va=deformity) definition for deformity:
"a physical blemish or distortion"

vanilla
04-15-2005, 03:52 AM
Originally posted by ******


what was it?
okay, i'll spill the beans. i wasn't sure how to be added to billy's friends list. so i asked him if i could be his friend. he replied:
"yes, you can be my friend. :)". i didn't realize that it could possibly be him replying, otherwise i would have said something cooler.