I cant explain this emotion decently to you. But those lyrics sum it up nicely.


I want to get up off my chair right now, go to my boss and quit my job.
I want to disappear. I could break. There’s too much… Too much stress, too much emotion.

I’m living for my next pay cheque. My life feels hollow and empty and pointless and worthless. I’m not appreciated by anyone at work, my friends are annoying me. I don’t eat. I don’t feel. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to go home, there’s nothing there.

I’m just constantly given more work from people who don’t want to do it themselves. And as the work load piles up, so does my stress. No one says thank you. No one cares about anything but clearing their plate. I cant do it.

I could just… Cry. How gay. But there’s this core of.. Frustration inside me. And I cant do this much more. I cant… stress like this. And it’s not all work.

I try hide it, no one at work knows and friends only know I’m broke.

I’m constantly on the edge of this stupid big black whole of depression.

And hunger, and stress, and… heart ache… push me closer and deeper.

And I just don’t want it anymore.

I don’t want to die. I know that feeling. This is something else.

I just want…
I don’t know.

Either to be consistently happy. Or to have never existed.

I don’t see much middle ground.

I’m floating. I have no foundation. I have no… Sigh. This is so pathetic. I just need to vent.

Maybe better lyrics would be:


Oh noose tied myself in, tied myself too tight
Looking kind of anxious in your cross armed stance
Like a bad tempered prom queen at a homecoming dance
And I claim I'm not excited with my life any more
So I blame this town, this job, these friends
The truth is it's myself
And I'm trying to understand myself
and pinpoint where i am
By the time I get things figured out
I've change the whole damn plan
Oh noose tied myself in, tied myself too tight
Talking shit about a pretty sunset
Blanketing opinions that i'll probably reget soon
I've changed my mind so much I cant even trust it
My mind changed me so much I cant even trust myself

hm. you should just take some time off and enjoy yourself. or do something you've never done before that won't make your life crappy. get a new job if you don't like the one you have. take some classes or paint pretty pictures in the park. you're young! stop feeling old.

Someone at work just gave me half a polony and mayo sandwhich
:D

They didn’t do it cause they know I’m hungry. They just offered, and I accepted.

I don’t like being regarded as some kind of charity case.

Originally posted by barden
Someone at work just gave me half a polony and mayo sandwhich
:D
see? life does get better!

Originally posted by mewl
hm. you should just take some time off and enjoy yourself. or do something you've never done before that won't make your life crappy. get a new job if you don't like the one you have. take some classes or paint pretty pictures in the park. you're young! stop feeling old.

I like your optimism.

I’ll make a change, when I can.

I really will.

Originally posted by David

see? life does get better!

Hehe.
Yeah.

Now just 6 more days to go!

And I’ll be more comfortable. Or less stressed.

Easier to cope with work and such.

Originally posted by barden


Hehe.
Yeah.

Now just 6 more days to go!

And I’ll be more comfortable. Or less stressed.

Easier to cope with work and such.
what's up in 6 days?

Originally posted by David

what's up in 6 days?

Pay day.

It was meant to be Thursday. Then they said Friday. Then they said Tuesday next week.

payday is the shit.