Ok... my friend Ryan just walked in my room and told me something that happened to his best friend Steve last night. I am so revolted I want to vomit.

This is almost too vulgar to post on netphoria... but here...I need to blab to someone about this.

Steve and his girlfriend Samantha went off to college in August. She went to Florida State, he went to Penn. Ok. Fine. So, she decides to fly to PA to visit him. He was really happy to see her so he decided to give her some oral action.

He had done this numerous times before and he always enjoyed doing it...but for some reason, this time, she smelled really horrible, and she tasted even worse. He didn't want to offend her though because he hadn't seen her in months...so he put a Jolly Rancher in his mouth to cover it up, even though it didn't do much to help.

In the course of eating her out, he accidentally pushed the candy inside of her... and stuck a finger in to grab it out. He took it out, and put it back into his mouth and bit it. Only...it wasn't the Jolly Rancher.

It was a nodule of gonorrhea.

As in, the blister-like structure that gonorrhea makes filled with diseased pus was the size of a fucking Jolly Rancher and the poor guy BIT it. I guess it was really dark in the room. He freaked out and started vomiting all over the place when it exploded in his mouth...

He demanded to know what was going on, turns out she had cheated on him at a club like, the first week of college, and fucked some random guy and the stupid bitch had no clue what was wrong with her. She noticed a strange smell though.

So now, Steve is freaking out that he now has gonorrhea of the mouth and God knows what else. He dumped her by the way... *shudders*

thanks for making me sick

So did she cum or what?!?

Originally posted by severin
thanks for making me sick

hey man, i warned you it was a gross and vulgar story that just might be too much for netphoria to handle. sorry anyway. *rates own thread 1*:hurl:

Originally posted by Johnny Swallow
So did she cum or what?!?

Nope.

Originally posted by melancholia


hey man, i warned you it was a gross and vulgar story that just might be too much for netphoria to handle. sorry anyway. *rates own thread 1*:hurl: i know, but this one is quite surely one of the most disgusting things i ever heard. really, i nearly have to vomit just thinking of it.

Originally posted by severin
i know, but this one is quite surely one of the most disgusting things i ever heard. really, i nearly have to vomit just thinking of it.

me too. i dry heaved from hearing the story.

oh....my.....god.....

rotten.com is for kids

That's VERY dirty!

But.. If a friend tell me that things, I'd laugh hard :D

yummy.

jolly rancher anyone?

LOL... not too many things on the internet turn my stomach or makes me laugh anymore, but that did both. Well done.



c

oh my fucking christ, I just dry heaved

THAT IS SO MOTHER FUCKING DISGUSTING

dskjlgk ;jklj35v87v6389p5v6jkerlf

i just want to know if he got head.


no, really, that's bad. really bad.

That is SO disgusting!! What a dirty slut! I feel bad for that guy. I bet it's a hell of a long time before he ever goes down on another girl.


:hurl:

and for good measure.........:hurl:

holy shit, what a dumb bitch. That must have smelled putrid. Ohhhhh fucking hell. Imagine biting into a nodule of PUSS. and then having gonnorrhea of the mouth. What a stupid bitch. Poor guy. I think he's going to use a dental dam for the rest of his life, not to mention swear off Jolly Ranchers. :(

that is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard. Are you sure that this is totally, 100% true? Sure he's not messing with your bipolar head? If it is true... JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. I want to throw up so bad. sljkghsdjghjlsdghslkdhglskdhglks Unbelievable. I don't care, after she told me that I would have knocked her out and threw her down some stairs. The image of that keeps staying in my head. CRUNCH!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I want my mommy :(

a NODULE of gonereah??? HAHAHAH FUNNY WORD

but seriously.. thats fuckin sick.

i didnt know gonnereah (i really cant spell) had like peices and shit that *shudders* releases itself. FUCK FUCK FUCK

i rate this post a 5

melancholia, please confirm to whether this is real or not or one of those urban legend things. Was he lying? more facts please or a confession would do

Originally posted by Travis Meeks
that is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard. Are you sure that this is totally, 100% true? Sure he's not messing with your bipolar head? If it is true... JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. I want to throw up so bad. sljkghsdjghjlsdghslkdhglskdhglks Unbelievable. I don't care, after she told me that I would have knocked her out and threw her down some stairs. The image of that keeps staying in my head. CRUNCH!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I want my mommy :(

no- there is more to the story... see, even though i'm bipolar and what not (lolz) but everyone on the floor comes to me for advice. god knows why... people just generally gravitate to me for venting purposes. ryan had just gotten off the phone with his friend when it happened, and he came to my door...this was pretty much the conversation:

*knock, knock*
jenn: yeah...come in... hey ryan, what's up?
ryan: jenn, i think i'm going to die.
jenn: whats wrong hun?
ryan: i'm disgusted...
jenn: what happened?
ryan: you remember my friend steve that came over a few weeks ago... the one you bought the blackhaus for?
jenn: yeah... is he okay...
ryan: i wouldn't call him okay...*tells story*
jenn: wow...just...just wow. ugh. seriously...wow.

i am so glad that i haven't eaten my breakfast yet, nor do i even want to now.

why are you all disgusted by gonorrhea? it taste pretty good.

Originally posted by meow
a NODULE of gonereah??? HAHAHAH FUNNY WORD

but seriously.. thats fuckin sick.

i didnt know gonnereah (i really cant spell) had like peices and shit that *shudders* releases itself. FUCK FUCK FUCK

i rate this post a 5

I didn't know either until I looked online. basically, when it's vaginal it forms pus blisters of sorts... i suppose that a blister formed in a strange way, and from him digging in there for the candy, he knocked it off the vaginal wall and popped it in his mouth before it had the chance to empty itself elsewhere. what grosses me out is how packed that thing must have been with pus in order to feel like a Jolly Rancher in his mouth...and for the record, those fuckers are pretty damn big.... even when sucked down. I swear go god this is true...I'm now getting IMs about it.

This story was all I needed to see. I've got to be a fucking moron to go look up pictures of those things when I'm about to puke just from reading about them.

*sigh*

*google image search*

post them when you find them!

Originally posted by Smiley33
This story was all I needed to see. I've got to be a fucking moron to go look up pictures of those things when I'm about to puke just from reading about them.

you poor girl. scared for life now. might as well join the church and become a nun now.

I may not bring teh funneh, but rest assured, I bring teh nasteh.

fig. 1 http://www.biology.arizona.edu/human_bio/problem_sets/stds/graphics/Gonorrhea.gif



fig. 2 http://www.anthrax-chlamydia-gonorrhea-syphilis-symptoms-pictures.com/images/gonorrhea-4.jpg


fig. 3 http://www.anthrax-chlamydia-gonorrhea-syphilis-symptoms-pictures.com/images/gonorrhea-1.jpg


fig. 4 http://herpes-coldsores.com/std/gonorrhea3.gif


fig. 5http://www-nehc.med.navy.mil/hp/images/std_pictures/STD_27.jpg


fig. 6 http://www-nehc.med.navy.mil/hp/images/std_pictures/STD_29.jpg

Originally posted by Travis Meeks


you poor girl. scared for life now. might as well join the church and become a nun now.

wtf

PICTURES OF HOW THIS CAN HAPPEN...DON'T LOOK IF YOU'RE REALLY GOING TO BE DAMAGED BY THIS!!!

http://www-nehc.med.navy.mil/hp/images/std_pictures/STD_29

it was basically that, but internally.

:O

Originally posted by Smiley33


wtf

I mean hearing the story is bad enough, looking at pictures is punishment

Originally posted by Travis Meeks


I mean hearing the story is bad enough, looking at pictures is punishment

:(

Wait a minute!?! Where is the jolly rancher? Did someone have to go back in to get it out? Or was there some poor doctor examining her, "Yes ma'am, you seem to have a flaming case of gonorrhea and a jolly rancher in your vagina."


Also, this guy is amazing ... so desperate and spineless that he would continue to go down on something that stank. I don't think we are talking some mild pussy odor here... that would have been vile.

:beatup:
c

that must have been awful smelling. I mean, sometimes I walk into a public women's bathroom and the smell in there is so foul that I would rather hold my piss and/or wet myself than stay in there. man. gonnorrhea. mon dieu :eek:

why do i keep trying to lick my monitor screen?

*jerks off*

Originally posted by rubber
"Yes ma'am, you seem to have a flaming case of gonorrhea and a jolly rancher in your vagina."


I doubt the doctor would say flaming...but this made me laugh nonetheless :D

one has to wonder if the jolly rancher would still be considered edible?

That story didn't really gross me out but it made me feel like crying. I don't know why.

Originally posted by Smiley33
that must have been awful smelling. I mean, sometimes I walk into a public women's bathroom and the smell in there is so foul that I would rather hold my piss and/or wet myself than stay in there. man. gonnorrhea. mon dieu :eek:

uugh! there was this girl in my dorm 2 years ago who had the FOULEST cooch. i swear. i named her Smelly Cat and by the end of the year most of the floor was calling her that. i'm pretty sure it wasn't any sort of STD b/c she didn't look like the type that would EVER get laid, so it must have just been REALLY REALLY REALLY bad hygeine.

oh yeah, and meloncholia.....i think you've cured me of wanting to have breakfast.

holy fucking shit. haha. i think your friend just created a future urban myth!
i mean, it really happened, but it seems as believable as the story about the chick who shat out crab eggs.
in a few months, after the story gets around, no one's ever gonna believe it ever happened. i guess it's safe to say he left his mark in the world.

he should call her "swamp snatch" from now on

Sweet lord. I was 'well, there aren't any picutures...how disgusting can it be??'

Ugh.

Luckily, I did not like Jolly Ranchers to begin with.

This story is at least as gross as the urban legend about the woman who fucked herself with a lobster. Remember that little gem?

Originally posted by Mark LeDrew


This story is at least as gross as the urban legend about the woman who fucked herself with a lobster. Remember that little gem?

How could anyone forget?

Originally posted by rubber
Wait a minute!?! Where is the jolly rancher? Did someone have to go back in to get it out? Or was there some poor doctor examining her, "Yes ma'am, you seem to have a flaming case of gonorrhea and a jolly rancher in your vagina."


Also, this guy is amazing ... so desperate and spineless that he would continue to go down on something that stank. I don't think we are talking some mild pussy odor here... that would have been vile.

:beatup:
c

i guess she took it out herself... but judging by the skank-ness of her vagina, sounds like she wouldn't care if it stayed in there and rotted.

God damn. Ugh. :hurl:

If I had any actual interest in the female reproductive system, I'm afraid I would have been scarred for life by reading that story.

Originally posted by Graveflower
i laughed
Me too. I must be evil.
But good story!

Originally posted by Mark LeDrew
Luckily, I did not like Jolly Ranchers to begin with.

This story is at least as gross as the urban legend about the woman who fucked herself with a lobster. Remember that little gem? :x
Was I the one who posted that? I'm pretty sure I was...

dear god that was fucking disgusting

Oh....wow....that was just....

:hurl:

Originally posted by slugger
yummy.

jolly rancher anyone?

Can someone please tell me why I laughed at this..?

:erm :eek: :hurl: :unhappy: :(

i was eating a twizzler. . . uggggggghhhhhhhhhh

that is positively the grossest shit ever.

i STILL have been unable to eat today and actually have my stomach not want to throw it back up.

Originally posted by Graveflower
i laughed again

..Oh good..so I'm not the only one..Phew..

Originally posted by Graveflower
i laughed again
Here, laugh at this... (dredging up the past). : )

Susy DeLucci and the Miracle of Life

One morning around 5am 22 year old Susan DaLucci of Kittery Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhoea, but when she stood up out of bed, she realized that it was urinary pain.

It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhoea, just out the wrong hole. She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard. In paralysing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled.

She was screaming wildly, and the neighbours called the police. When medics arrived they found Ms. DeNucci unconscious lying on the floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe. Running down her leg, was a stream of brown and green syrup. The medic had to transfer her to a stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg which was bent crossing her other leg, to straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted up. When he lifted her left leg to straighten her body out, he exposed her vagina at which point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger wormed its way out of her genitals and landed on the floor with a wet popping sound. Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile bathroom floor in a casing of mucous. It was a tiny mud shrimp and it sat there on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself back and forth.

The horrified medic turned to the toilet as he felt the nausea setting in. When he put his face down into the toilet to puke what he saw was so horrific that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without convulsing.

The entire toilet bowl was boiling with baby brown mud shrimp flipping and splashing at a furious pace.

If you think that is bad - wait until you hear how it happened:

Ms. DeLucci's official death was the result of a combination of shock and severe head trauma. She stood up over the toilet in pain and when she saw what she had done, she went into shock and fell, smashing her head on the toilet and then on the floor.

Police medics believe, that on two nights before the accident she had purchased a live lobster at a fish market. While lying in a tub, she gently inserted the creature's tail into her vagina to derive pleasure.

At that point, she held a lighter under the creature's face causing it to flip its tail in a volent snapping motion. The medics found a lesbian XXX video in the VCR and the TV was positioned on a table in front of the tub.

The lobster was found in the kitchen garbage can wrapped in a paper bag. Traces of Ms. DeLucci's DNA were found on the lobster along with pubic hairs that had wedged themselves between the lobster tail joints. The lobster's face was lightly burned with the same fuel used in lighters. The lobster's digestive track and colon were found to be full of mud shrimp egg casings. Doctors believe that the lobster had eaten them (they are common in the water at fish markets and are usually harmlessly boiled to death) and the lobster had defecated heavily into Ms. DeLucci's vagina when she was torturing it.

Maine mud shrimp only take two days to gestate and Ms. DeLucci was only four days away from getting her period, doctors believe that at that point of her menstrual cycle, her womb was the perfect PH balance and temperature to grow these mud shrimp which are a much larger version of the popular "Sea Monkey" pets sold throughout the US.

Over night the eggs had hatched and the mud shrimp began doubling in size every ten minutes.

You can imagine the pain she was in when she woke up that morning and gave birth to well over 1,000 mud shrimp in her toilet.


- words of wisedom: just remember, dont EVER play with your food -

Originally posted by undivinemartyr
diarrhoea,


IH.

all i can think about is the 'nodule' exploding, uch.

Originally posted by Geek USA



IH.
It's not like I typed it out or anything, more like I went to my email inbox and copied from it.

oh, i didnt think you typed it out..

Originally posted by Graveflower
the lobster one is just a myth, and is such an old story.

i thought it was really funny though, and i was about 14 when I first heard it. I'm pretty demented, yeah. :(

:/

The email I got it from was dated Sept. 1999.

in any case both stories are fucking vile

At first I thought the jolly rancher story was the best story ever. Then the photos got me laughing so hard. Then I saw the shrimp story. It was the new best story ever. Then I saw that it was just a myth. Then I was really disappointed. I once had a yeasty experience but there were no crunchy chunks involved. Stupid chicks. :(

Originally posted by Dead
At first I thought the jolly rancher story was the best story ever. Then the photos got me laughing so hard. Then I saw the shrimp story. It was the new best story ever. Then I saw that it was just a myth. Then I was really disappointed. I once had a yeasty experience but there were no crunchy chunks involved. Stupid chicks. :(

yeasty experience?!?!oh my god gross

i gasped when i read the first story. and then giggled. in retrospect i wonder wtf is wrong with me to find that sick shit humorous. goddamn.

<font color=33FFFF> I was expecting to be let down when I first started reading the story, but huzzah it was great! I really felt sick for a split second, and that rarely ever happens. </font>

it had to be done:
http://www.luftensteiner.com/netphoria/pus_rancher.jpg

I was digusted like everyone else but I have a couple of points that don't make sense...

1. I don't think the nodule was in the same shape as the jolly rancher (rectangle/brick looking thing) so I don't know how you would discern the difference.

2. Who bits into Jolly Ranchers? Those thinks are hard as shit. They have the consistency of steel.

If these hold true than the story has to be fake or exaggerated to some extent.

Originally posted by Graveflower
i laughed

adksfjlsdkjflkdsf

I've always enjoyed the lobster story.

And someone should go type up a lobster-story-style transcript of the event and send it to a bunch of random people. We could go down in internet history. And get on Snopes.

The jolly rancher story sounds fake.

And yeah the yeasty experience was gross. If only I had known better.

Originally posted by Graveflower
i laughed I cried!

that jolly rancher story is great, but its a fake. I've heard it before in rez around 1999-2000.

same with the lobster story, but its classic.

still, bullshit stories rule but you should own up to it a few days later. lies make baby jesus cry.

Originally posted by Ugly
that jolly rancher story is great, but its a fake. I've heard it before in rez around 1999-2000.

same with the lobster story, but its classic.

still, bullshit stories rule but you should own up to it a few days later. lies make baby jesus cry. Agreed. Gonorrhea does not produce semi solid nodules. Especially ones hard enough to be passed off as a Jolly Rancher.

Bullshit.

Whats a jolly rancher, sound like a gay rodeo

:confused:

OH HERRO

MYTH BUSTEDDDDDDD

oh darn i can't remember this stuff good thing others can now i can eat pussy with no worries again

Bringing back the cream of the archives

a NODULE of gonereah

Nice spam bump

Everyone's bad at science in this thread

science ruins miracles

So in eight years has there evar been a grosser story?

I don't recall anything grosser than this. :hurl: