View Full Version : Help me, Netphoria


KrazeeStacee
06-22-2004, 11:58 AM
Okay, so the purpose of this thread is for me to explain this living situation...then give my options. If you're even still reading by then, I'd appreciate it if you gave me your advice on the matter...and tell me anything I may have over looked.

If you don't already know, I live with 2 roommates who are lazy bastards. Our lease is up July 1st and I've been busting my ass to find us an apartment while they play video games (this isn't an exaggeration)...so I'm getting really pissed at the way they're handling this whole situation and I'm rethinking my decision to live with them for another year.

I've spent so much time, money, and energy the last few weeks looking for apartments. Calling people, making appointments, talking to landlords, driving around, filling out applications, etc...and we lost the one good place we were going to get because they didn't get their application to me as soon as I told them to.

So here's the draw...I don't have enough money to live (comfortably) on my own so the only option (other than finding someone completely random to move in with) is to move back to my parents' house. I really...REALLY do not want to do this for many reasons. The first being my freedom and independance. I've developed a lot of both in the last year, and a good portion of that would be taken away if I moved back home. Plus, there's just a lot more stress over there. Then comes the fact that I'd feel like I'm failing. I guess it's a pretty selfish thing to feel, but I just feel like I'm letting myself down because I can't support myself and/or deal with finding an apartment. I realize I'm doing the best I can, and I'm proud of that...but moving home would just make me feel like I can't do it.

Not to mention the hassle it'll be for my parents to move everything around and for me to get my shit back in there...then living out of my boxes until I figure out when/where/how I'm going to move out again.

Then there's the last thing...storage. I'd have to rent a damn storage unit and move all my stuff into it again. Last time, the storage unit was $75/mo. for 3 months, but that was some special deal. Who knows what it'll be now. Granted, I won't be paying rent, so that saves me $300 a month, but I'd like to be saving that money instead so that I can move out on my own in a few months.

So today I just got a $100 parking ticket because there's no parking in my neighborhood and I was within the yellow line of a fire hydrant, and that coupled with my lazy roommates driving me crazy...I feel like I just want to go to my Mom's house and say fuck everything. I'll lose some freedom and have to deal with all the stress at the house...but I dealt with it for 18 years, so what's a few more months? Plus, I won't have to pay for internet, heat, electric, or rent and that will definitely eliminate the stress that's making me want to jump off a bridge right now.

I'm really just overwhelmed by everything and I feel like I'm carrying too much on my shoulders. Every little thing has just built up and up and up...I want more than anything to go running back to Mommy...but I don't know if that's the wisest decision.... :(


(Plus my parents don't even know I smoke cigarettes and I'd probably have to go all night without having a cigarette...which would drive me nuts but hey, it might even help me cut down.)

ammy
06-22-2004, 12:00 PM
suck it up. go home.

Eulogy
06-22-2004, 12:03 PM
Go back home. Take your time and get some good living arrangements with some good, responsible people.

KrazeeStacee
06-22-2004, 12:08 PM
Originally posted by Eulogy
Go back home. Take your time and get some good living arrangements with some good, responsible people.

I haven't the slightest clue where to find those people. That's part of the problem. I don't want to go back home and then be stuck and live there for another year. I doubt I'll find anyone to live with and aside from that, I won't be making enough to even get a decent studio until next summer. I don't think I have any other options, though.

pink_ribbon_scars
06-22-2004, 12:11 PM
there isn't any good advice left to give. when your mom drives you nuts you're welcome to come over to my place.

Elvis The Fat Years
06-22-2004, 12:12 PM
swallow your pride and go home. clear your head for a while and get back on your feet. so you lose some freedom for a few months. you'll be saving cash and and it eases the pressure of finding a new place and roommate(s) right away.

plus it would be a lot better than living with jp and ari for another year. it sounds like they have finally driven you over the edge.

Mariner
06-22-2004, 12:23 PM
Originally posted by Elvis The Fat Years
swallow your pride and go home. clear your head for a while and get back on your feet. so you lose some freedom for a few months. you'll be saving cash and and it eases the pressure of finding a new place and roommate(s) right away.

plus it would be a lot better than living with jp and ari for another year. it sounds like they have finally driven you over the edge.

Exactly. Yes, you've developed a lot of freedom and independence over the years. Great! Now you should see how your maturity has developed. Don't take that as an insult, I don't mean it that way; what I mean is that it would be pretty damned mature and classy of you if you pulled off a few months at home without contributing yourself to stress/drama that could potentially or does occur (I don't know what your parents are like, or how much they 'contribute'). You already sound pretty damn mature and very patient, so I'd guess that this won't be too much of a problem. You're only (sorry) 18 - it's not too young to take a breather at home for a few months. Not by far. I've read articles lately in places like the New York times documenting a growing trend of post-college kids moving home for a while and not being emarassed about it, so there are plenty of people your age and older in the same boat. Even if you have to pay for storage, it's still cheaper than rent. Some extra $ is better than none, and if you take into account the value of your sanity, dignity, and the lack of stress you'd gain from not having to deal with your lazy-ass roommates, than $75 doesn't suddenly seem like so much.

Take a few months. Meet some new people (potential roommates), lobby for a raise, find a better or another job, or save enough $ so that you can start yourself off on the right foot of a good living situation when you find one.

/my $.02

KrazeeStacee
06-22-2004, 12:26 PM
Originally posted by pink_ribbon_scars
there isn't any good advice left to give. when your mom drives you nuts you're welcome to come over to my place.

:love:

C33
06-22-2004, 12:28 PM
Originally posted by KrazeePumpkin

(Plus my parents don't even know I smoke cigarettes and I'd probably have to go all night without having a cigarette...which would drive me nuts but hey, it might even help me cut down.)
good thing

KrazeeStacee
06-22-2004, 12:32 PM
Originally posted by Elvis The Fat Years
swallow your pride and go home. clear your head for a while and get back on your feet. so you lose some freedom for a few months. you'll be saving cash and and it eases the pressure of finding a new place and roommate(s) right away.

plus it would be a lot better than living with jp and ari for another year. it sounds like they have finally driven you over the edge.
Originally posted by Mariner
Exactly. Yes, you've developed a lot of freedom and independence over the years. Great! Now you should see how your maturity has developed. Don't take that as an insult, I don't mean it that way; what I mean is that it would be pretty damned mature and classy of you if you pulled off a few months at home without contributing yourself to stress/drama that could potentially or does occur (I don't know what your parents are like, or how much they 'contribute'). You already sound pretty damn mature and very patient, so I'd guess that this won't be too much of a problem. You're only (sorry) 18 - it's not too young to take a breather at home for a few months. Not by far. I've read articles lately in places like the New York times documenting a growing trend of post-college kids moving home for a while and not being emarassed about it, so there are plenty of people your age and older in the same boat. Even if you have to pay for storage, it's still cheaper than rent. Some extra $ is better than none, and if you take into account the value of your sanity, dignity, and the lack of stress you'd gain from not having to deal with your lazy-ass roommates, than $75 doesn't suddenly seem like so much.

Take a few months. Meet some new people (potential roommates), lobby for a raise, find a better or another job, or save enough $ so that you can start yourself off on the right foot of a good living situation when you find one.

/my $.02

Thank you so much...that's exactly what I needed to hear.

And what you said about maturity...you're right. I didn't even think about the fact that my Mom isn't being a 'Mom' anymore...she's more like my friend now. I doubt we'd constantly be at eachother's throats anymore. It'd probably be a huge change from a year ago. If I can deal with JP and Ari, I can definitely handle my Mom and her dogs.

Originally posted by Mariner
You're only (sorry) 18
I'm 20, btw :D

KrazeeStacee
06-22-2004, 12:34 PM
Originally posted by Crestfallen33

good thing

Sure it is, but do you know how awful it is to smoke like a chimney, then have to go for hours and hours and hours on end without a cigarette?

Well then again, I could always use it as an excuse to go out and get exercise...two birds, one stone.

This isn't sounding so bad after all. :)

C33
06-22-2004, 12:37 PM
Originally posted by KrazeePumpkin


Sure it is, but do you know how awful it is to smoke like a chimney, then have to go for hours and hours and hours on end without a cigarette?

Well then again, I could always use it as an excuse to go out and get exercise...two birds, one stone.

This isn't sounding so bad after all. :)
actually i do, but you always survive it you know ;)
what happens if your parents find out?
i had to pay my driver's licence. and yes, it's FAR more expensive here than in the us.

KrazeeStacee
06-22-2004, 01:11 PM
Originally posted by Crestfallen33

actually i do, but you always survive it you know ;)
what happens if your parents find out?
i had to pay my driver's licence. and yes, it's FAR more expensive here than in the us.

Both of them smoke...like every one in my family does, so my Mom is always so proud that I'm not into that. :( I haven't ever found the right time to tell her, so I've been keeping it from her since I was 15. Before I was 18 she told me she'd beat my ass if she found me smoking...so I was too scared to tell her. Now I'm just afraid that I'll break her heart :( Then she'll beat my ass :(:(

pink_ribbon_scars
06-22-2004, 01:14 PM
Originally posted by KrazeePumpkin


Both of them smoke...like every one in my family does, so my Mom is always so proud that I'm not into that. :( I haven't ever found the right time to tell her, so I've been keeping it from her since I was 15. Before I was 18 she told me she'd beat my ass if she found me smoking...so I was too scared to tell her. Now I'm just afraid that I'll break her heart :( Then she'll beat my ass :(:(

Oh. I was just popping my head back in to say that I thought you should try to tell your mom you smoke sometimes right up front so she can't "discover you" and be disappointed. You wouldn't have to admit how much you smoke. I think I was wrong, that might backfire. But won't she find out? My mom would, no question. It's hard to be that sneaky.

Mariner
06-22-2004, 01:15 PM
Originally posted by KrazeePumpkin


I'm 20, btw :D

Hehe, good thing I apologized beforehand! (sorry, I just saw the number 18 and didn't give it any thought :p)

KrazeeStacee
06-22-2004, 01:21 PM
Originally posted by pink_ribbon_scars


Oh. I was just popping my head back in to say that I thought you should try to tell your mom you smoke sometimes right up front so she can't "discover you" and be disappointed. You wouldn't have to admit how much you smoke. I think I was wrong, that might backfire. But won't she find out? My mom would, no question. It's hard to be that sneaky.

The right thing would be to just tell her. But it's a lot easier to just hide it from her. I know it's an awful thing to do, especially for this long, but I don't even think I'd be able to smoke in front of my Mom even if she was okay with it. She beat this idea into my head how smoking is so bad and then I go and do it. I don't regret doing it...it's just that I feel bad because I'm always trying to keep her proud of me. Ugh I hate thinking about it...

Anyway, it is hard, but the fact that they smoke makes it a LOT easier (they can't smell it on me). My Mom respects my privacy and doesn't go through my things (intentionally, at least) so she won't find anything...Plus, I'm just pretty slick ;)

mewl
06-22-2004, 01:24 PM
ilove it when i'm not alone...i've been going thru pretty much the same thing and i can't deal with it anymore. i'm going to germany to live with my parents. 6 weeks or so.

about the smoking thing, my whole family smokes too but they were proud of me cos i "didn't". i told my mom in february when things were really rough for me and she was upset but there really wasn't anything she could have done...so you shouldn't hide it., i don't think. two years of smoking cigs in bathrooms so they won't find out will really wear on you. in my case it did...

agdfsdgjhkh

i wanna die
06-22-2004, 01:24 PM
just about every sucessful person i know didn't completely leave home until 23...

mewl
06-22-2004, 01:26 PM
Originally posted by i wanna die
just about every sucessful person i know didn't completely leave home until 23...

i hope i end up successful :(

i wanna die
06-22-2004, 01:27 PM
oh yeah...(assuming you're about 21) is it really that bad to live at home at your age--as long as you're not gonna hang around there for too long? i mean, seriously..is it really that bad???

i wanna die
06-22-2004, 01:28 PM
Originally posted by mewl


i hope i end up successful :(

less toking. more productivity...the name of the game is money mac. how are you going to get yours?

mewl
06-22-2004, 01:30 PM
Originally posted by i wanna die
oh yeah...(assuming you're about 21) is it really that bad to live at home at your age--as long as you're not gonna hang around there for too long? i mean, seriously..is it really that bad???


i really don't think it is. if you can't cut in on your own there's no use in being miserable. at least at home you'll have stability. if you have parents like mine they'll force you into a routine and i don't think there's anything better than that. i might live with mine 'til i'm 23 depending on how things go over there...

mewl
06-22-2004, 01:31 PM
Originally posted by i wanna die
less toking. more productivity...the name of the game is money mac. how are you going to get yours?

hence why i'm moving away from here... among a lot of other reasons.

Stars
06-22-2004, 01:43 PM
asdsdfasdf

KrazeeStacee
06-22-2004, 02:11 PM
Originally posted by mewl
ilove it when i'm not alone...i've been going thru pretty much the same thing and i can't deal with it anymore. i'm going to germany to live with my parents. 6 weeks or so.

about the smoking thing, my whole family smokes too but they were proud of me cos i "didn't". i told my mom in february when things were really rough for me and she was upset but there really wasn't anything she could have done...so you shouldn't hide it., i don't think. two years of smoking cigs in bathrooms so they won't find out will really wear on you. in my case it did...

agdfsdgjhkh

Yeah, you're right. I'm sure I'll eventually tell her...but right now I'm going to let well enough alone until I get adjusted...then I'll tell her.

I really can't deal with anything more right now. I can barely keep my head from falling off my shoulders. :(

KrazeeStacee
06-22-2004, 02:11 PM
Originally posted by Stars
asdsdfasdf

I expected so much more from you. :noway:

KrazeeStacee
06-22-2004, 02:18 PM
Originally posted by i wanna die
i mean, seriously..is it really that bad???

You're right...it's not.

I guess it's really because this last year I've gone through so much...I can deal with a lot more shit than I used to, and in better ways. Since the last time I lived with my Mom was so stressful, I'm remembering just the fact that it was stressful...but not WHY it was stressful. I'm sure the little things that used to piss me off before would be absolutely nothing to me now. I'm thinking it's going to be worse, but really...I think it'll end up being a lot better.

KrazeeStacee
06-22-2004, 02:19 PM
Thanks, guys :love:

girls like boys
06-22-2004, 02:23 PM
Originally posted by KrazeePumpkin


You're right...it's not.

I guess it's really because this last year I've gone through so much...I can deal with a lot more shit than I used to, and in better ways. Since the last time I lived with my Mom was so stressful, I'm remembering just the fact that it was stressful...but not WHY it was stressful. I'm sure the little things that used to piss me off before would be absolutely nothing to me now. I'm thinking it's going to be worse, but really...I think it'll end up being a lot better.
I moved home a year after living on my own. and it was strange comming home. but in a better way. things just kinda rolled out flat. as before they would all ball up and get thrown at everyone. i think because there was more respect for the decisions and things that i would make...seeing as how, for the most part i knew what i was doing and didnt really NEED mom and dads input.

KrazeeStacee
06-22-2004, 02:45 PM
Originally posted by girls like boys

I moved home a year after living on my own. and it was strange comming home. but in a better way. things just kinda rolled out flat. as before they would all ball up and get thrown at everyone. i think because there was more respect for the decisions and things that i would make...seeing as how, for the most part i knew what i was doing and didnt really NEED mom and dads input.

Exactly...that's why I'm going to be optimistic about this. My parents care about me and they don't hound me like they used to because they know that I know what I need to do. Exactly like you said, for the most part you know what you're doing and don't really NEED mom and dad's input.

girls like boys
06-22-2004, 02:57 PM
Originally posted by KrazeePumpkin


Exactly...that's why I'm going to be optimistic about this. My parents care about me and they don't hound me like they used to because they know that I know what I need to do. Exactly like you said, for the most part you know what you're doing and don't really NEED mom and dad's input.
exactly...now move onward with your head up. be positive :D .