i want to hear some stories. especially embarrassing ones.

i fucked this guy i didn't love.

Originally posted by twice
i fucked this guy i didn't love.

was it really that horrible though?? was it completely unpleasant?? did you not want to do it?? were you PAID?!


p.s. this is my third sex post over the past few days...i'm sorry for the repetition.

I had sex with someone to shut them up so I could sleep. It was the only time we ever had sex. It was the most awful feeling in the world.

yea, when my dad walked in and told me i would be grounded if I finished.

thanxs for the blue balls DAD!!!!!!!!!

omg the worst ever was with a guy named sean, well here it goes.....

if of all i was like so not wanting to have sex maybe just fool around, i was on the rag.. the dude starts pushing on the tampon with his cock, im like :erm. but anynow im like jesus ok. well the dude had the tinyest dick ever. well it was pretty bad.

i remember one time i was having anal sex and it was hurting pretty bad and the dude didnt wanna stop i dont know it thats bad or scarey.. and then my bottom was bleeding it was miserable

Originally posted by Lizzy Lover
i remember one time i was having anal sex and it was hurting pretty bad and the dude didnt wanna stop i dont know it thats bad or scarey.. and then my bottom was bleeding it was miserable

:erm not cool. tell the fucker to stop.

Originally posted by phaedrus


:erm not cool. tell the fucker to stop.

yea i should have it was my ex and i thought he loved me

Originally posted by KrazeePumpkin
I had sex with someone to shut them up so I could sleep. It was the only time we ever had sex. It was the most awful feeling in the world.

i'm SURE you're not the only one who's done that.

The time I had sex with Nelly(not the rapper)

i had a bad blowjob once...

Originally posted by Lizzy Lover
omg the worst ever was with a guy named sean, well here it goes.....:rofl:

Originally posted by Toby
The time I had sex with Nelly(not the rapper)

Mrs. Nelly Furtado?!!!

You lucky motherfucker.

Originally posted by phaedrus


i'm SURE you're not the only one who's done that.

He was also a virgin before that. :(

Originally posted by phaedrus


Mrs. Nelly Furtado?!!!

You lucky motherfucker. Nope, not that Nelly either.

omg i remember the first time i had sex, was in a trailer park. i was 18 and he was 16(not virgin). it was in his momma's bed, although he had a huge dick he had no idea what he was doing, i never o'ed :(

Originally posted by ambienlife
yea, when my dad walked in and told me i would be grounded if I finished.

thanxs for the blue balls DAD!!!!!!!!!

:rofl:

wow. are any of these actually serious? something seems not right....

mine are honest to god serious, you can ask toby! i promise

Originally posted by lucky_13
wow. are any of these actually serious? something seems not right....

what do you mean? you don't believe these stories?

mine is, my dad is a witness, but i broke up with that girlfriend

Originally posted by lucky_13
wow. are any of these actually serious? something seems not right....

mine is. oh i remember my worst not sex story.

so i was hooking up w/ this girl. we were both pretty drunk. we had met about 2 hours prior. SHE takes me into the other room and says, "i want to fuck you now." I'm like, ummmm sure. so we head into the other room and we are goin at it for a while. get to that point, i slap on a rubber and right before i stick it in she goes, "wait, i just want to ask you... are you using me?" "i go ummm... of course not." i paused about 10 seconds... curse myself for the guilt factor and take the rubber off.

Then i proceeded to get off her, put my clothes on, say I'll be right back, walk out of the room, out the door and never come back.

wow

Originally posted by Lizzy Lover
wow

one time, with this guy steve
he would just lay there. and expect me to do everything. and then wonder why i looked bored.

i was like wtf...? he would get all mad and shit about me looking bored and it's like WHY DONT YOU DO SOMETHING?!

one time my ex girlfriend wouldn't ride me and I got pretty pissed off, she was a pretty bad lay anyway.

Originally posted by ******


mine is. oh i remember my worst not sex story.

so i was hooking up w/ this girl. we were both pretty drunk. we had met about 2 hours prior. SHE takes me into the other room and says, "i want to fuck you now." I'm like, ummmm sure. so we head into the other room and we are goin at it for a while. get to that point, i slap on a rubber and right before i stick it in she goes, "wait, i just want to ask you... are you using me?" "i go ummm... of course not." i paused about 10 seconds... curse myself for the guilt factor and take the rubber off.

Then i proceeded to get off her, put my clothes on, say I'll be right back, walk out of the room, out the door and never come back.

on one hand, i really respect that. but on the other hand, i think you're really stupid for not taking that opportunity.

this is my moral crisis.

i guess i'm ok with casual sex if i'm getting some, if not, then i think it's bad. i know, i'm a hypocrite.

i just remember my funniest not sex story, and i think i might have posted it before but here we go again..

i was at the highland cue with robbie and amy, and im just recently free from my ex. amy was realy drunk and started hitting on these guys, and she said something about which one you want well i take my pick... amy and i end up going to their house which is three streets from mine, and smoke a couple of bowls, im fried out my head. and im like well im ready to go home, i was just going to walk but Jean Claude was like ill drive you so im like ok. well he drives me home and walks into my house im like ok whatever.... we start talking about this guy i went to school with and how hot he was, and i was like yea, and i pull out a gay pride magazine im pictured in it with that guy, and he was like im kind of gay, and i was like ok.... so how i end up sucking his dick, i remmeber him saying im not going to have sex with you i was like ok i dont care... well around 6 am we get done fooling around and he rolls over to go to sleep im like no... you have to leave i knew the ex would start calling and shit, well he was like are you serious i was like DUH. so he drives me to my car and i go to sleep, not 5 mins after i get back the ex is a calling and a calling....

now lucky me i see this guy every MWF in my accounting class, and i still cant talk to him :-/

Originally posted by ******


mine is. oh i remember my worst not sex story.

so i was hooking up w/ this girl. we were both pretty drunk. we had met about 2 hours prior. SHE takes me into the other room and says, "i want to fuck you now." I'm like, ummmm sure. so we head into the other room and we are goin at it for a while. get to that point, i slap on a rubber and right before i stick it in she goes, "wait, i just want to ask you... are you using me?" "i go ummm... of course not." i paused about 10 seconds... curse myself for the guilt factor and take the rubber off.

Then i proceeded to get off her, put my clothes on, say I'll be right back, walk out of the room, out the door and never come back.




obviously she was not that good looking and her saying that sobered you up enough to realize it.

Originally posted by phaedrus


on one hand, i really respect that. but on the other hand, i think you're really stupid for not taking that opportunity.

this is my moral crisis.

i guess i'm ok with casual sex if i'm getting some, if not, then i think it's bad. i know, i'm a hypocrite.

nah, it's not like i haven't had sex outside of the confines of a real relationship but this was just bad. i mean, i do have a few morals left.

-Kegstand

EDIT: She wasn't bad looking, but what also helped was that she was 16. I had just turned 19 at the time.

:rofl:
does he recognize you at all?

Originally posted by ******


nah, it's not like i haven't had sex outside of the confines of a real relationship but this was just bad. i mean, i do have a few morals left.

-Kegstand

i don't understand how she could even have asked that question in the first place. i mean, the answer is obvious.

i don't think i would have fucked her just based on how dumb that question was.

Originally posted by Toby
:rofl:
does he recognize you at all?
jean claude i think so but i dont know why he wont say something to me, i mean i have accidentally sucked like 3 gay dudes dicks :-/

Originally posted by phaedrus


i don't understand how she could even have asked that question in the first place. i mean, the answer is obvious.

i don't think i would have fucked her just based on how dumb that question was.

especially when SHE initated the sex. that was what boggled my mind.

Originally posted by Lizzy Lover

jean claude i think so but i dont know why he wont say something to me, i mean i have accidentally sucked like 3 gay dudes dicks :-/

Jean claude
inshapesmartie
who else?

Probably some drunk sex when I was 16 with a close friend at the time. It was painful, sloppy, and I spent the rest of high school hoping the girl he was dating at the time never found out.

Bleh.

Originally posted by Toby


Jean claude
inshapesmartie
who else?

some other guy i met on yahoo from nashville, and chris of course

Originally posted by ******
especially when SHE initated the sex. that was what boggled my mind.

I had a similar incident in that the chick inititated it, and then only after we were done started in on that shit. I mean, I was halfway passed out on the chair when she started making out with me. After it was all over she was "you could have this every night if you wanted..." I ask why she says that and she gets in to relationship stuff. I respond basically with "I'm not interested in you like that." Shit hit the fan then. Fuck.

Originally posted by Lizzy Lover
some other guy i met on yahoo from nashville

What's his name? I know a gay dude who'd do that kind of thing.

i can understand how the girls can have stories about bad sex, but how do the boys decide if its "bad" or not?

Originally posted by dishpan
i can understand how the girls can have stories about bad sex, but how do the boys decide if its "bad" or not?


you will know when you have it

Originally posted by ambienlife



you will know when you have it

ive had a lot of sex though. maybe its all been bad? :confused:

Originally posted by ******


especially when SHE initated the sex. that was what boggled my mind.

exactly.


anyways, i guess it's time for me to post my worst sex ever story:

let me start by saying it was actually absolutely amazing sex.
last night, my ex and i went out for a late night walk, to smoke up a couple of joints, we took her dog as excuse. (she lives in another area code, and was home staying at her parents for the weekend).

anyways, the whole weekend was supposed to be all about closure (see my other thread)...so we completely opened up to each other while we were walking. we talked about everything that had happened after we had broken up. between all the laughing and talking, it took us about an hour to walk two blacks.

we we got back to her place, we watched some Monty Python, and then starting just lightly rubbing each other. she got really turned on but still didn't want to have sex. i told her i had a condom in my wallet, and then just took her. she was totally into it.

anyways, we started to get the couch really squeaking, and then we heard footsteps upstairs. we thought it was her dad, so we stopped and layed there under the blankets. we were a little paranoid, (me especially - her dad's got a double black belt.

the end result was great sex, but no orgasm, since we only had one condom. not only was it REALLY frustrating, but now it doesn't feel like we've had total closure. :mad:

Originally posted by dishpan
i can understand how the girls can have stories about bad sex, but how do the boys decide if its "bad" or not? If you don't ride my cawk then its bad sex

Originally posted by Toby
If you don't ride my cawk then its bad sex or if I don't get head anytime during the course of being naked its bad sex

Originally posted by AndySlash


What's his name? I know a gay dude who'd do that kind of thing.
he is an eye doctor in a nashville mall and i have no idea what his name was

and he had a HUGE red birth mark on his back

Originally posted by Lizzy Lover
and chris of course remember when he was wearing your panties?

ohhhoohhh and he was a 24 yr old virgin and i was like im not going to have sex with you

Originally posted by Toby
remember when he was wearing your panties?

yes he said he didnt have anything clean :(

Originally posted by phaedrus


the end result was great sex, but no orgasm, since we only had one condom. not only was it REALLY frustrating, but now it doesn't feel like we've had total closure. :mad:

so you got off but she didn't? i bet she doesn't think it's great sex. also... you can't pleasure a woman:rofl:

Originally posted by ******


you can't pleasure a woman:rofl:

maybe you cant but a good man can

Originally posted by dishpan


ive had a lot of sex though. maybe its all been bad? :confused:




naw its just all been the same

Originally posted by Lizzy Lover


maybe you cant but a good man can

i didn't say i couldn't.

Once I tried to have sex with Jean Chretien, and his viagra hadn't kicked in yet. We had a game of crazy eights and then we were ready to go!

Originally posted by Lizzy Lover


yes he said he didnt have anything clean :( they prolly made him feel pretty ;)

Originally posted by Toby
they prolly made him feel pretty ;)

yea most definately, what a freak i wish i could get my shit back he has though

Originally posted by Lizzy Lover


yea most definately, what a freak i wish i could get my shit back he has though I'd like my hoodie back from that chola Meredith.

Originally posted by ******


so you got off but she didn't? i bet she doesn't think it's great sex. also... you can't pleasure a woman:rofl:


no no no, neither of us got off...
i went limp while we waited for her dad to go away. i swear he stood there looking through the glass door at us for the longest time.

trust me when i say that i can please her. she's the only person i've ever had sex with, and we've been fucking for three and a half years. she's got me trained to please her. i know how to push her buttons. she was screaming "best sex ever!" on friday night.

Originally posted by Lizzy Lover
mine are honest to god serious, you can ask toby! i promise
actually it was your manner of speaking. seemed way too troll like.

Originally posted by lucky_13

actually it was your manner of speaking. seemed way too troll like.

nope im seriously not a troll hun]

worst-sex-ever happened when i realized, midcoitus, that i didn't want him anymore. talk about bad timing.

I think this would be bad sex, for the guy

NSFW







http://www.erosblog.com/manic-blowjob.jpg

the way i broke up with my ex is a total him he smelled really bad during sex, and it hurt his feelings so much he left me alone!

and he cried but a week or two with out a bath, yea you are going to stink

Originally posted by Lizzy Lover
the way i broke up with my ex is a total him he smelled really bad during sex, and it hurt his feelings so much he left me alone!

and he cried but a week or two with out a bath, yea you are going to stink

No offense, but you're a whore right?

I fucked a guy. it wasn't as good as the other guy i fucked.
the end.

Originally posted by pyramidsonmars


No offense, but you're a whore right?

nope not now

slept with a friend-it was one of those things where the idea is 100 times better than the real thing.had my period , ugh-accidentally bled all over the fucking place and got walked in on by the hotel maid-all in the same session. it was somthing i want to forget

Originally posted by KrazeePumpkin
I had sex with someone to shut them up so I could sleep. It was the only time we ever had sex. It was the most awful feeling in the world.

i can be better. i swear.

extremely big dick. didn't know how to use it. complained that i was "egotistical" during sex. the oral wasn't so hot, either. resembled shaggy from scooby doo. ick.

she was hot but i was wasted

8 pints of microbrew in 2 1/2 hours

couldn't keep it hard

she was 31, i was 22

she was disappointed

i felt really bad and ended up eating her pussy for 30 minutes, almost locking up my jaw

ended up, though, great, b/c she gave me an incredible blowjob as a thank you for the oral

First time. One night stand. Bad idea.

Originally posted by Elvis The Fat Years


i can be better. i swear.
:o

Originally posted by Lizzy Lover

jean claude i think so but i dont know why he wont say something to me, i mean i have accidentally sucked like 3 gay dudes dicks :-/

:rofl:

Two words: Broken penis. :erm

It's ok though, because I've also had some of the best sex of my life with the same girl, so it works out in the end!

Originally posted by ******


mine is. oh i remember my worst not sex story.

so i was hooking up w/ this girl. we were both pretty drunk. we had met about 2 hours prior. SHE takes me into the other room and says, "i want to fuck you now." I'm like, ummmm sure. so we head into the other room and we are goin at it for a while. get to that point, i slap on a rubber and right before i stick it in she goes, "wait, i just want to ask you... are you using me?" "i go ummm... of course not." i paused about 10 seconds... curse myself for the guilt factor and take the rubber off.

Then i proceeded to get off her, put my clothes on, say I'll be right back, walk out of the room, out the door and never come back. Good for you. Hopefully you left not because of guilt but because any bitch begs you for sex after just meeting you and then wants to know if you're using her is a raving fucking lunatic.

I posted about my pscho freakout blowjob girl before. I'll stick with that one.

Sex was so bad/boring with previous boyfriend, I was reading a book during it.