boris the blade
08-02-2003, 09:04 PM
1. he borrowed this hurley "hoody" from a friend of ours, wore it to school every day for weeks, and refuses to give it back to him to this day.
2. he bought a fake vagina last night. when i asked him how it was, he said it needed a few more "test drives."
3. he got his bathtub shat in. he and the kid who did it then proceeded to gather up hat they could of the shit, and leave it in a box on his (******'s) ex-girlfriend's doorstep. he (******) then proceeded to not bother to clean the mess up for quite some time. i still don't know how it was that his parents never noticed this.
4. he was drunk and high at a party a few weeks back, and he saw this kid wearing a spinal tap shirt. he bought the shirt off him for five bucks, and quickly found out that it had really big, yellow pit stains on it. i said ",you bought a shirt off a fat guy!" and we both laughed for several minutes. he claims that he has bleached out the stains, though i haven't seen any evidence to back this up. he hasn't even worn the shirt, that i know of.
5. he fell over and passed out laughing at a christmas party last year (we were all very, very high), and then woke up laughing, which prompted much more laughter from me and a few others present, which led to even more from him...
6. he drank angel's trumpet tea once at a college party, got naked, and bit a girl on the shoulder until she bled. it took him several days of conversation to remember even some of the events of that fateful evening.
7. he obnoxiously corrects people on their grammar in conversation.
8. he doesn't fart that much, but when he does, it stinks like hell.
9. he won't hesitate to tell you you suck at guitar.
10. when he was in middle school, his neck looked like he was doing that thing where the sides of your neck stick out all the time, and he had a mullet, and he thought he was better than everyone else. i blame the first trait on how much drugs his parents used to do, the second on his total lack of a sense of style back then, and the third on his towering intellect, and matching ego.
11. he played dungeons and dragons once (huh!).
12. he's one of the funniest fucking kids i know.
for more incriminating info, as lecia put it, just ask.
2. he bought a fake vagina last night. when i asked him how it was, he said it needed a few more "test drives."
3. he got his bathtub shat in. he and the kid who did it then proceeded to gather up hat they could of the shit, and leave it in a box on his (******'s) ex-girlfriend's doorstep. he (******) then proceeded to not bother to clean the mess up for quite some time. i still don't know how it was that his parents never noticed this.
4. he was drunk and high at a party a few weeks back, and he saw this kid wearing a spinal tap shirt. he bought the shirt off him for five bucks, and quickly found out that it had really big, yellow pit stains on it. i said ",you bought a shirt off a fat guy!" and we both laughed for several minutes. he claims that he has bleached out the stains, though i haven't seen any evidence to back this up. he hasn't even worn the shirt, that i know of.
5. he fell over and passed out laughing at a christmas party last year (we were all very, very high), and then woke up laughing, which prompted much more laughter from me and a few others present, which led to even more from him...
6. he drank angel's trumpet tea once at a college party, got naked, and bit a girl on the shoulder until she bled. it took him several days of conversation to remember even some of the events of that fateful evening.
7. he obnoxiously corrects people on their grammar in conversation.
8. he doesn't fart that much, but when he does, it stinks like hell.
9. he won't hesitate to tell you you suck at guitar.
10. when he was in middle school, his neck looked like he was doing that thing where the sides of your neck stick out all the time, and he had a mullet, and he thought he was better than everyone else. i blame the first trait on how much drugs his parents used to do, the second on his total lack of a sense of style back then, and the third on his towering intellect, and matching ego.
11. he played dungeons and dragons once (huh!).
12. he's one of the funniest fucking kids i know.
for more incriminating info, as lecia put it, just ask.