Yeah, over dinner. I should have known something was up...he didn't come up to my apartment, he didn't kiss me hello, etc. Dinner was all fine and normal...and then at the end he was all "I wanted to talk to you tonight". Immediately, I knew something was coming. So he then launched into his whole speech...he got back together with his ex-girlfriend while he was in San Francisco and they are going to start seeing each other again and he doesn't feel right seeing both of us. And then he even said something about how she would never find out and he could have never told me. And then he was all "things between us have been pretty low-key", blah, blah, blah, "I don't know for sure how you feel, but I think that's how you feel". The whole time I was just nodding along. I totally didn't see it coming. He even e-mailed me a couple of times while he was in San Francisco. And I was all "yeah, I knew from the get-go that you would be moving at the end of the summer anyways." And I totally just wanted to be "oh, F.Y.I., I never stopped dating other people. In fact, for a couple of months there, I was even sleeping with someone else." But, I didn't. I'm not really upset. But, I am going to miss him a little bit. Honestly, I'm going to miss having sex with him. And I looked REALLY cute today and shaved my legs and smell REALLY good too. Why the hell didn't he just tell me this all over e-mail? Ok, I guess that's what makes him a good guy...taking me out to dinner and telling me in person, not fooling around with me and his ex, etc., etc. But, still...it was like something out of a movie...this has never happened to me before...I've never been dumped and I've never gotten the whole "I got back together with" speech. And I was totally planning on having sex tonight. Oh well. Whatever. I knew it was going to end, but I was planning on it ending in August, not right now. This was not how I imagined my night going.

i wanna get dumped!

I would have been fine with him just not telling me.

Hey, man. It could totally be worse. At the very least you can come away from it knowing that he respected you enough to do it the right way, instead of sneaking around on you for a while.

If it makes you feel any better, just the *thought* of a cute, shaven-legged, nice smelling female makes me all warm inside:)

And it's not like he dumped me because he didn't like me. Right? He's moving in a couple of months. He's flying back and forth for interviews...so he's going to be in SF pretty much every weekend.

Hey, man. It could totally be worse. At the very least you can come away from it knowing that he respected you enough to do it the right way, instead of sneaking around on you for a while.



certainly true. but i doubt it could feel worse right now though.

i'm sorry to hear that it happened.

Originally posted by Ihaman
i wanna get dumped! sounds like a game show.

Originally posted by killed radio star

but i doubt it could feel worse right now though.



Yeah. I don't even know quite what to feel. Right now, I'm just sorta all "oh wow".

there's only one thing to do at a time like this ... drink to excess!

**disclaimer: ignore me, I give bad advice

Originally posted by BlueStar
. Why the hell didn't he just tell me this all over e-mail? Ok, I guess that's what makes him a good guy...taking me out to dinner and telling me in person, not fooling around with me and his ex, etc., etc.

He did it the right way. I just got dumped a few days ago in an E-MAIL. Seriously, that's the most cowardly thing to do EVER.

he probably didn't like how all your pics look the same.

Originally posted by BlueStar
The whole time I was just nodding along. I totally didn't see it coming. He even e-mailed me a couple of times while he was in San Francisco. And I was all "yeah, I knew from the get-go that you would be moving at the end of the summer anyways." And I totally just wanted to be "oh, F.Y.I., I never stopped dating other people. In fact, for a couple of months there, I was even sleeping with someone else." But, I didn't. I'm not really upset.

Blargh, that sucks. at least you aren't heart broken over it.

I hate being the "bigger person" and not saying those nasty things in my head. :mad:

How do you feel about dating BlueStar? To be more specific what is the point of dating for you?

Ok, I cried for about 5 minutes there. And now I am going to finish off this bottle of wine. At least I got a lot of nice dinners out of it. But, he was pretty much the best sex I've ever had. And I would still like to hang out with him until he moves (just as friends), but now I don't know if that is going to happen.

Originally posted by MonteLDS
To be more specific what is the point of dating for you?

http://www.wsu.edu/~swinn/sex.gif

Originally posted by MonteLDS
How do you feel about dating BlueStar? To be more specific what is the point of dating for you?

That's too complex for me to answer right now. With this guy in particular, it just hanging out and having a good time since I knew from the first date that he would be moving at the end of the summer (we started dating in February/March). But, I just always thought that he would move away...I never thought that he would dump me for someone else first.

Originally posted by So very sad about me

I hate being the "bigger person" and not saying those nasty things in my head. :mad:

There were so many things that I could have said to him, but all I basically did was nod in agreement with him. :mad:

Originally posted by Strange As Angels

He did it the right way. I just got dumped a few days ago in an E-MAIL. Seriously, that's the most cowardly thing to do EVER.

But, I almost think I would have felt better if he had done it over e-mail instead of acting like everything was normal and then springing that on me at the end of dinner.

Originally posted by BlueStar
I knew it was going to end, but I was planning on it ending in August, not right now. so you were just planning on milking it until you two just became disinterested, even though that you didn't have confidence in the relationship?

damn, what is the point?

Originally posted by ******
so you were just planning on milking it until you two just became disinterested, even though that you didn't have confidence in the relationship?

damn, what is the point?

He is moving at the end of the summer...and I knew that all along. I wasn't milking it. If at any point I became disinterested in him, I would have let him know.

And I don't believe that dating has to have a point...can't it just be spending time with someone...why does it always have to be going somewhere/leading to marriage?

i wouldn't consider dating someone if i saw an end in sight, and if i totally lost confidence in it, i would just quit it, not keep going until it came to its inevitable end.

i dunno. maybe i'm just extra cautious about who i lend my heart to,

Well, I just kinda viewed it as a summer fling that started in the winter and has a friends thing. I just always assumed that it would end when he moved. It never even crossed my mind that he would dump me. My heart was never invested in it. However, you can't sleep with someone for awhile and not care about them somewhat. But, I was always prepared for him leaving. But, I don't feel particularly good right now...it doesn't hurt, my heart's not broken, but I'm not happy about it. I just wasn't prepared for this. And there's definitely a little bit of an ego blow or whatever it is that is currently bothering/upsetting me.

Should I e-mail him and say the things I didn't say?? Would that be a good thing to do or a bad thing to do? Normally, he e-mails me everyday from work...should I wait to see if he e-mails me tomorrow and then respond to that with the things I want to say to him? Or I should I just let it go and not bother? (And then comes the question of would it be easier to let it go if I told him the things that I haven't told him?)

so is it open house on your vagina?

Originally posted by mercurial
there's only one thing to do at a time like this ... drink to excess!

**disclaimer: ignore me, I give bad advice

no no, thats actually quite good advice. i got dumped back in february and i got drunk the first 4 nights afterwords. it was all very unplanned, people heard about it and kept buying me drinks. i'm not gonna argue with that.

I'm drinking right now. And I just sent him an e-mail. Someone stop me before I do anything else stupid.

wow. so fucking interesting.

Originally posted by Elvis The Fat Years
so is it open house on your vagina?

If you're interested, I could arrange a private viewing.

Originally posted by BlueStar
Should I e-mail him and say the things I didn't say?? Would that be a good thing to do or a bad thing to do? Normally, he e-mails me everyday from work...should I wait to see if he e-mails me tomorrow and then respond to that with the things I want to say to him? Or I should I just let it go and not bother? (And then comes the question of would it be easier to let it go if I told him the things that I haven't told him?)

I wouldn't recommend telling him that, especially since you said you still wanted to be friends. That might just piss him off to where he doesn't want to be together at all anymore. Plus it might lead to an argument which is never very fun. Why do you think it would be easier to let it go if you told him? I think if it wasn't hard for you to be with him and keep it from him then it shouldn't be hard for you to let it go without telling him either.

Originally posted by meladoriemagpie

I think if it wasn't hard for you to be with him and keep it from him then it shouldn't be hard for you to let it go without telling him either.

Very true. But, now I feel bad...he told me about another girl, but I didn't/wouldn't have done the same. I'm just a big fan of closure. And I'm sorta thinking that being honest with him = closure.

And too late...I already e-mailed him...damn too much wine.

Originally posted by meladoriemagpie

I wouldn't recommend telling him that, especially since you said you still wanted to be friends. That might just piss him off to where he doesn't want to be together at all anymore. Plus it might lead to an argument which is never very fun.

Fuck. I was just aiming for honesty, not pissing him off.

Originally posted by BlueStar
I'm drinking right now. And I just sent him an e-mail. Someone stop me before I do anything else stupid.

go ahead and write the email, but preface it with stuff about how you're still feeling hurt, and thats why you're responding so harshly. if he's a smart guy (and it sounds like he is) then he'll understand that you don't really mean it.

my $0.02

Here's the e-maile I sent him...

Hey James-

Honestly, you didn't need to take me out to dinner to
tell me that, you could have just sent me an e-mail
(but, I guess that is what makes you a good guy). And
I feel really really bad now...I've been seeing other
people the entire time. That was really sweet of you
to be upfront about it, but I just feel so bad now
because I didn't/wouldn't have done the same. If you
ever just want to hang out, you know how to get in
touch with me. :)

Take care,
Sam

Originally posted by BlueStar
Here's the e-maile I sent him...

Hey James-

Honestly, you didn't need to take me out to dinner to
tell me that, you could have just sent me an e-mail
(but, I guess that is what makes you a good guy). And
I feel really really bad now...I've been seeing other
people the entire time. That was really sweet of you
to be upfront about it, but I just feel so bad now
because I didn't/wouldn't have done the same. If you
ever just want to hang out, you know how to get in
touch with me. :)

Take care,
Sam

huh... i'd probably take that the wrong way, just the "seeing other people the entire time" part... he may think you've given him like forty different STDs or something.

anyway. too late now.

Originally posted by Injektilo


huh... i'd probably take that the wrong way, just the "seeing other people the entire time" part... he may think you've given him like forty different STDs or something.

anyway. too late now.

Oh shit.

I was sorta assuming that he would understand that it was nothing serious with any of the other people, just that I never regarded it serious enough between us to not see other people.

And just for the record, I onluy slept with one other guy while I was seeing James...I was totally safe about it...and I broke it off with that other guy because I felt kinda guilty.

Originally posted by ******
maybe i'm just extra cautious about who i lend my heart to,

which is why you are such a cool guy :)

Oh fucking hell, this just makes my night even better...

The interview process for the U.S. Senate Democratic campaign has been canceled because the candidate for U.S. Senate our firm was consulting for has dropped out of the race today. I am sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused you.

Please know our firm received hundreds of resumes and we only chose the top individuals to interview.

I will keep your resume on file for future campaigns, as our firm will be involved in U.S. Senate and top targeted U.S. Congressional Democratic campaigns throughout the United States.

I would be glad to speak with you by phone about future opportunities with our firm. Please do not hesitate to contact me!

Thank you for time and I appreciated your correspondence,

Ken Christensen

Originally posted by BlueStar


Ken Christensen that bastard!!!

I totally don't blame James...it makes perfect sense...it was a rational decision...he is a good guy. But, this has never happened to me before...it was so surreal.

Originally posted by meow
that bastard!!!

Indeed!!!

Originally posted by BlueStar


Indeed!!!

who wants cake?!

Originally posted by So very sad about me


http://www.wsu.edu/~swinn/sex.gif

The humor of you quoting that, coupled with your sig, just hit me.

My mom just called me and told me that she ordered ne three pairs of underwear and two bras and a yoga skirt and ypga pants from Victoria's Secret. I guess that's my mom's way of trying to make me feel better. I't sorta working and it's srta not. :erm

Originally posted by BlueStar


Oh shit.

I was sorta assuming that he would understand that it was nothing serious with any of the other people, just that I never regarded it serious enough between us to not see other people.

And just for the record, I onluy slept with one other guy while I was seeing James...I was totally safe about it...and I broke it off with that other guy because I felt kinda guilty.

you might wanna clear that up...he may have thought you guys were alot more serious then you thought you were. I guess it doesn't really matter though.

you'll feel better in a few days, try not to let it affect you too much right now. (yes, i know its much easier said than done. believe me I know)

I'm with ****** on this one. I don't understand "dating." Not that I have anything against it, but personally, the thought of going out and having sex with someone on a casual basis is way too weird. I could just never handle that and I don't understand why people do it or how they actually get any enjoyment out of it. One night stands make more sense to me than casual dating.

Fuck. I need more alcohol.

Originally posted by BlueStar
I feel really really bad now... I've been seeing other people the entire time.

Were the ellipises in your original email or is that some dirty sex talk that you don't want us to read?

I thought your way of handling this was really cool and rational all things considered. But he will probably take the email the wrong way. It doesn't sound very sincere. It sounds more like your pissed at yourself for not getting in the final word then you are truly eager to hang out with him and be friends. I can tell you're sincere but not from that email.

Originally posted by The Ace of Aces


Were the ellipises in your original email or is that some dirty sex talk that you don't want us to read?

I thought your way of handling this was really cool and rational all things considered. But he will probably take the email the wrong way. It doesn't sound very sincere. It sounds more like your pissed at yourself for not getting in the final word then you are truly eager to hang out with him and be friends. I can tell you're sincere but not from that email.

Yes, the ellipises were in my originial e-mail. Fuck. Alright, I guess I should e-mail him again.

did you give him a goodbye cock suck?

Originally posted by aspecialkid
did you give him a goodbye cock suck?

No. Isn't proper to wait to dump the girl after you have sex with her one more time??

I'm sorry bluestar...:(

Great, now I seem like a fucking psycho stalker for e-mailing him too many times.

Originally posted by BlueStar


No. Isn't proper to wait to dump the girl after you have sex with her one more time??
depends on the guy,if the guy is using the girl for sex, it would be proper.

Wow. I thought you said you <i>weren't</i> having sex with the other people you casually dated.


Tell me if I have this totally wrong:

I'd feel really pissed off if I were him, if I got that after I broke things off nicely. It almost sounds like a retaliation. Like "HAHA YOU DUMPED ME BUT YOU DIDN'T KNOW I WAS WITH OTHER PEOPLE THE ENTIRE TIME, JOKE'S ON YOU!!" But I would be an overly sensitive guy, I guess. :erm

Originally posted by crescentfresh

I'd feel really pissed off if I were him, if I got that after I broke things off nicely. It almost sounds like a retaliation. Like "HAHA YOU DUMPED ME BUT YOU DIDN'T KNOW I WAS WITH OTHER PEOPLE THE ENTIRE TIME, JOKE'S ON YOU!!" But I would be an overly sensitive guy, I guess. :erm

Fuck. I legitmately meant it to be a you were honest with me, so I should be honest with you thing.

Originally posted by crescentfresh
Wow. I thought you said you <i>weren't</i> having sex with the other people you casually dated.


Tell me if I have this totally wrong:

I'd feel really pissed off if I were him, if I got that after I broke things off nicely. It almost sounds like a retaliation. Like "HAHA YOU DUMPED ME BUT YOU DIDN'T KNOW I WAS WITH OTHER PEOPLE THE ENTIRE TIME, JOKE'S ON YOU!!" But I would be an overly sensitive guy, I guess. :erm

I thought the same thing when I read the E-mail. If I were him I have taken it that way too. Especially the way it was worded. And I am a guy... but then probably an over sensitive one. I would try to make it clear to him that your reason for telling him about that is because you want to be honest with him like he was with you and not because your trying to get back at him or something like that.

Well, whatever...he dumped me...I am probably never ever going to see or hear from him again.

Originally posted by BlueStar


The humor of you quoting that, coupled with your sig, just hit me.

That wasn't my sig. The humor was intended :)

THIS! is my sig

Originally posted by BlueStar
Well, whatever...he dumped me...I am probably never ever going to see or hear from him again.
haha cool. I wouldn't worry about it then.

Originally posted by meladoriemagpie


I thought the same thing when I read the E-mail. If I were him I have taken it that way too. Especially the way it was worded. And I am a guy... but then probably an over sensitive one. I would try to make it clear to him that your reason for telling him about that is because you want to be honest with him like he was with you and not because your trying to get back at him or something like that.

Fuck. Well, I can't e-mail him AGAIN, because that would be really rather psycho. I sent him a 2nd e-mail saying that the previous e-mail was meant to be sincere and not meant to piss him off or anything. Is that good/clear enough? I don't really think he would take it the wrong way...but, then again, who knows...

Originally posted by Lie
I'm with ****** on this one. I don't understand "dating." Not that I have anything against it, but personally, the thought of going out and having sex with someone on a casual basis is way too weird. I could just never handle that and I don't understand why people do it or how they actually get any enjoyment out of it. One night stands make more sense to me than casual dating.

I agree. I'm always amazed at people who have dates w/ 4 diff people lined up. I've never really "dated" anyone for a length of time and . Either it ended up in a relationship, or in Akwardville. I could never just go out on a date if I didn't 100% like the guy. The thought of casual dating scares me....

Oh fuck. I shoudl have just left things well enough alone. Is it possible to take an e-mail back? :erm

Originally posted by BlueStar


Fuck. Well, I can't e-mail him AGAIN, because that would be really rather psycho. I sent him a 2nd e-mail saying that the previous e-mail was meant to be sincere and not meant to piss him off or anything. Is that good/clear enough? I don't really think he would take it the wrong way...but, then again, who knows...

My advice: STOP THE EMAILING!
You're only going to make things compoundedly worse.

And it seems that you're most upset that you got dumped b/c you've never been. Its odd in a way actually, i think most people have been on both ends of the stick. It happens to everyone

Originally posted by So very sad about me
I could never just go out on a date if I didn't 100% like the guy. The thought of casual dating scares me....

But, if you only just met the guy, how can you know whether or not you 100% like him without going out on a few more dates with him?

Originally posted by So very sad about me


My advice: STOP THE EMAILING!
You're only going to make things compoundedly worse.


Yeah, I only sent him 2 e-mails. I hereby vow to send no more.

Originally posted by BlueStar


But, if you only just met the guy, how can you know whether or not you 100% like him without going out on a few more dates with him?

I can generally tell w/in about 10 mins of the date :erm

That being the about 5 dates I've had in my life :(

I always pay EXTRA attention to the email from girls I have broken up with.

Shit, don't you people live actual, non-virtual lives?

Oww...my head.

Oh no, what did I do?!

:(

This is what he e-mailed me back...

hey sam,

Thanks for the email. And trust me, you shouldn't feel bad at all
about seeing other people. It's not like we made it exclusive or even talked about that. So please don't feel bad, there's no reason to. I just wanted to be upfront with you and tell you where I'm coming from. like I said, I've really enjoyed hanging out with you, you're a lot of fun.

Take care,
James

*whew* I don't need to feel bad about the e-mail and he totally took it the right way. :)

Neurotic freak. Good god.

hey samantha,

i just want to say that i know how it feels to be dumped and that i admire the way that you reacted to it. in the past, i haven't taken being dumped very gracefully. i've learned a few pointers from your post.

YOU GO GIRL!!

Originally posted by BlueStar
But, he was pretty much the best sex I've ever had.

why was that?