View Full Version : !!!!!!!!SP movie script!!!!!!!!!!!!!


ernstdaydreamer
06-18-2003, 02:39 PM
http://www.countingdown.com/movies/3560174

Ugly
06-18-2003, 02:50 PM
You should have a Zombie Jonathan Melvoin crash the concert then Jimmy whips out a shotgun from inside his kicker and says “YOU GUYS GET OUTSIDE, I’LL HOLD THIS FUCKER OFF!!” and which point he starts pumping Zombie Melvoin with lead yelling “I KILLED YOU BEFORE AND THIS TIME YOU’RE GOING TO STAY THAT WAY YOU UNDEAD SON OF A BITCH!!” Then Billy turns into a vampire and flies off into the night.

Injektilo
06-18-2003, 03:07 PM
Originally posted by Ugly
You should have a Zombie Jonathan Melvoin crash the concert then Jimmy whips out a shotgun from inside his kicker and says “YOU GUYS GET OUTSIDE, I’LL HOLD THIS FUCKER OFF!!” and which point he starts pumping Zombie Melvoin with lead yelling “I KILLED YOU BEFORE AND THIS TIME YOU’RE GOING TO STAY THAT WAY YOU UNDEAD SON OF A BITCH!!” Then Billy turns into a vampire and flies off into the night.

fuck yes.

and james pees himself.

Nimrod's Son
06-18-2003, 03:18 PM
Actually I think your script would work, but it would be better is Billy plays a killer robot driving instructor who travels back in time for some reason whose best friend is a talking pie.

Ugly
06-18-2003, 08:49 PM
Originally posted by Nimrod's Son
Actually I think your script would work, but it would be better is Billy plays a killer robot driving instructor who travels back in time for some reason whose best friend is a talking pie.

Nimrod's Son, you've done it again!

*hands you two sacks of money with dollar signs on them*

Ugly
06-18-2003, 08:53 PM
Originally posted by Injektilo


fuck yes.

and james pees himself.

This movie needs more gratuitus nudity in it too. How about a Joe Shanahan shower scene, ala <I>Porky's</I>? And then Zombie Melvoin shows up and eats him. Then Jimmy walks in with a double barrel-shotgun.

How about just an entire movie with scenes from SP history, but it keeps being crashed by Zombie Melvoin and its up to Jimmy who shows up with a loaded shotgun every freakin time. Kind of like "Evil Dead" or "Army of Darkness".

bonsor
06-18-2003, 08:56 PM
Originally posted by Nimrod's Son
Actually I think your script would work, but it would be better is Billy plays a killer robot driving instructor who travels back in time for some reason whose best friend is a talking pie. There also has to be a scene wheretere's a final chase scene in the end involving Billy's good side and his evil side, where one is on a motorcycle and the other is on a horse. It's motorcycles versus horses. It's like....technology....versus horses!

Injektilo
06-18-2003, 09:13 PM
Originally posted by Ugly


This movie needs more gratuitus nudity in it too. How about a Joe Shanahan shower scene, ala <I>Porky's</I>? And then Zombie Melvoin shows up and eats him. Then Jimmy walks in with a double barrel-shotgun.

How about just an entire movie with scenes from SP history, but it keeps being crashed by Zombie Melvoin and its up to Jimmy who shows up with a loaded shotgun every freakin time. Kind of like "Evil Dead" or "Army of Darkness".

ok, so who has sex with the pie then? Kenny maybe? or Flood?

Ugly
06-18-2003, 09:30 PM
Originally posted by Injektilo


ok, so who has sex with the pie then? Kenny maybe? or Flood?


how bout all three?

Then they have to choose between who lives . . . and who dies . . .

Injektilo
06-18-2003, 09:57 PM
Originally posted by Ugly



how bout all three?

Then they have to choose between who lives . . . and who dies . . .

with the aid of a wisecracking alien who speaks in slang from the late 80s/early 90s.

Corganist
06-18-2003, 10:15 PM
Originally posted by Ugly


How about just an entire movie with scenes from SP history, but it keeps being crashed by Zombie Melvoin and its up to Jimmy who shows up with a loaded shotgun every freakin time. Kind of like "Evil Dead" or "Army of Darkness".

If you could get Bruce Campbell to play the role of Jimmy, then this thing has money written all over it.

Boycott Graceland
06-19-2003, 04:02 AM
SUBPLOT:

darcy has 24 hours to convince a terrorist to land a hijacked airplane, only to fall in love with him in the process.

(hijacker to be portrayed by bob english)

cap'n jazz
06-19-2003, 05:32 AM
rats in cages

Ugly
06-19-2003, 10:02 AM
Ok, so right now, here’s how the movie goes:
-----------------------


- The film opens up with a bunch of kids trying to get to an SP concert. It’s a life affirming story and a Christina Aguleria cover of “Silverfuck” plays over the opening credits.

- Unknown to our heroes, Billy Corgan’s Evil Side, which is personified by the killer robot driving instructor from the future (and his talking pie sidekick, voiced by Bob English) have traveled back in time to kill James Iha.

- Evil Robot Billy Corgan (aka CORGANBOT-1000) and the talking pie visit the grave of Johanthan Melvoin and resurrect him as a Zombie. You need henchmen and all, you know.

- At this point, CORGANBOT-1000, Zombie Melvoin and talking pie wait at the concert to complete their mission. Kenny Arnof, having never experienced a woman before, hears from his friends that it’s “like warm apple pie.” He immediately steals the pie and has sex with it, underneath its muffled protests of “I’m pastry, not poontang!”

- At the concert, the kids show up and then are promptly eaten by Zombie Melvoin. CORGANBOT-1000 just rolls his eyes and says “Here we go again.” Talking pie is subsequently raped by Flood who heard from Kenny that talking pie is a great piece of ass.

- CORGANBOT-1000, talking pie and Zombie Melvoin bust into the show to kill James Iha. Jimmy, played by Bruce Campbell in total “Army of Darkness” outfit with the chainsaw arm and everything, goes mono-a-mono with Zombie Melvoin. Good Billy turns into a vampire and flies away. James pees his pants and stands there whimpering. D’Arcy kidnaps and rapes the talking pie and gets on an airplane.

- As CORGANBOT-1000 puts a laser sight to James’ forehead, the cry of “Back dat up, yo, this is deff!” is heard and a wisecracking alien grabs James and throws him in the back of their Alien Pimp mobile. CORGANBOT-1000, using his driving instructor skills from the future, swiftly yet safely goes in pursuit.

- The wisecracking alien explains that he has traveled to the Earth to stop the death of James Iha. Iha is actually the mother of John Connor, the savior of the future in the war against the machines. The alien picks up a phone saying “We need an exit!” and is told by the operator to get on the freeway. James protests, “You said we should never drive on the freeway, you said it would be suicide.” Wisecracking alien replies coolly, “Let us hope, then, that I was wrong.”

- To save money on the car chase, use a TMD-Movies rip of “The Matrix Reloaded” and blue screen in James running in front of the chase scene like the “going for a drive” bits on Conan.

- Jimmy, having battled Zombie Melvoin for 48 hours straight and leaving half the population of Chicago dead as a result, decides not to fuck around anymore and builds a personal nuclear warhead.

- D’Arcy, on an airplane to Mexico, lets the pie out. The pie hijacks the plane. D’Arcy calls up the pie on her cel-phone. “Ever play roulette?” she asks. “On occasion.” The pie replies. D'Arcy snarls: <B><I>“ALWAYS BET ON CRACK!”</B></I>

- CORGANBOT-1000 and Good Billy of the NorthWest have a chase on car vs. horse. James has sex with the wisecracking alien. The alien is run over by the horse and dies. James crushes CORGANBOT-1000 in a hydraulic press.

- James, now pregnant with John Connor, goes to Mexico with Good Billy. D’Arcy successfully lands the plane, now married to Talking Pie. The three Pumpkins look at each other oddly. “Hey,” Good Bily asks “where’s Jimmy?”

- At which point a massive nuclear explosion detonates on the horizon. The Russians fire back with their nuclear warhead. Judgement Day has begun. To celebrate the oncoming war against cold unforgiving steel, the Pumpkins take turns gang-raping the talking pie.

- In the ruins of North America, a super-irradiated Mutant Zombie Melvoin uses the remains of CORGANBOT-1000 to build a robot army that will take over the world. His only threat: Jimmy Chamberlin, the Omega Man and the last best hope for the human race.

cap'n jazz
06-19-2003, 10:18 AM
i see no rats in cages.

Nimrod's Son
06-19-2003, 10:36 AM
Originally posted by ******
There also has to be a scene wheretere's a final chase scene in the end involving Billy's good side and his evil side, where one is on a motorcycle and the other is on a horse. It's motorcycles versus horses. It's like....technology....versus horses! Yes! And at the end, James is faced with a heartwrenching decision involving the two Billys" he must decide which one lives, and which one.... *sniff* .....dies.

Ugly
06-19-2003, 10:40 AM
Originally posted by cap'n jazz
i see no rats in cages.

Are you kidding me? This screams SEQUEL or even TRILOGY. They’ll be plenty of time to work in rats in cages, or even super-gamma-irradiated rats in cages, let me tell you!

bonsor
06-19-2003, 03:42 PM
Originally posted by Nimrod's Son
Yes! And at the end, James is faced with a heartwrenching decision involving the two Billys" he must decide which one lives, and which one.... *sniff* .....dies. i was waiting for someone to get that.

Kumar Littlejeans
06-19-2003, 04:12 PM
Originally posted by Ugly
You should have a Zombie Jonathan Melvoin crash the concert then Jimmy whips out a shotgun from inside his kicker and says “YOU GUYS GET OUTSIDE, I’LL HOLD THIS FUCKER OFF!!” and which point he starts pumping Zombie Melvoin with lead yelling “I KILLED YOU BEFORE AND THIS TIME YOU’RE GOING TO STAY THAT WAY YOU UNDEAD SON OF A BITCH!!”

I'm crying. Or I would be, if I did that. Of joy, I mean.

Kumar Littlejeans
06-19-2003, 04:13 PM
Originally posted by ******
i was waiting for someone to get that.

Thanks for coming up with that tonight, ******.

*awkward silence*

Boycott Graceland
06-19-2003, 04:38 PM
Originally posted by Ugly


Are you kidding me? This screams SEQUEL or even TRILOGY. They’ll be plenty of time to work in rats in cages, or even super-gamma-irradiated rats in cages, let me tell you!

episode 3 needs to have billy's dad sacrificing himself for his son's life...of course, after they rock together, one last time.


Episode 3: THE ROCKONING

alisonmonster
06-19-2003, 05:36 PM
Oh MY GOD! I would pay to see this.What a great movie.Can there be a Iha cover of XYU? That would be priceless:D

ernstdaydreamer
06-19-2003, 05:39 PM
Originally posted by alisonmonster
Oh MY GOD! I would pay to see this.What a great movie.Can there be a Iha cover of XYU? That would be priceless:D

Which script are you talking about?

Injektilo
06-19-2003, 06:16 PM
Originally posted by Ugly
Ok, so right now, here’s how the movie goes:


holy shit, i don't think i've ever laughed so hard at something on the SP board.

Mariner
06-19-2003, 06:21 PM
Originally posted by Injektilo


holy shit, i don't think i've ever laughed so hard at something on the SP board.

Ditto. Good work, kids.

Esty
06-19-2003, 09:09 PM
Jesus, that's some funny shit. Here I am thinking about how boring netphoria is and then I find this thread. Thanks!!!!

alisonmonster
06-21-2003, 04:04 PM
Originally posted by ernstdaydreamer


Which script are you talking about?


The Ugly one- that is so hilarious!

ernstdaydreamer
06-22-2003, 07:26 AM
Originally posted by alisonmonster



The Ugly one- that is so hilarious!

I think the movie would be a blockbuter!:)
We neen do send the script to warner bros. looney toons devision
:)

The Pantsmaster
06-22-2003, 11:49 AM
Originally posted by Ugly
Ok, so right now, here’s how the movie goes:


wow. just wow.

Ugly
06-23-2003, 04:13 PM
Originally posted by Boycott Graceland


episode 3 needs to have billy's dad sacrificing himself for his son's life...of course, after they rock together, one last time.


How's this for a climax?

-------------------

<B>SC. 256- INT – METRO</B>

<I>Billy Corgan and Bill Corgan Sr. are locked in the Metro with an army of bloodthirsty Uruk-Hai. Things look bleak. As usual. </I>

<B>CORGAN SR.</B>
Well, son, it looks as if the Uruk-Hai are going to be released, and soon Chicago will fall under the Shadow of Sauron. Let’s face it: we’re boned.

<B>BILLY</B>
There’s always hope, father!

<B>CORGAN SR.</B>
But it’s an army Uruk-Hai, the deadliest of enemies! What are we going to do?

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(Billy’s lip sets to a thin line of determination.)</I>
The only thing we can do . . .
<I>(A beat. He picks up a guitar.)</I>
We rock.

<I>With that, Billy launches into the opening riff of “Silverfuck.” The Uruk-Hai growl their approval.

CUT TO: An hour later. Billy is still playing the opening riff of “Silverfuck”. Some of the Uruk-Hai look at their watches, beginning to get annoyed.

CUT TO: Hour three. Billy has just launched into a rant about how much he hates it when his champagne goes flat. Corgan Sr. noodles incessantly between G minor and A Flat bare chords. Uruk-Hai, voicing their disapproval, begin to throw rotten tomatoes, eggs and small children.

CUT TO: Hour five. 50 minutes into Billy’s extended harmonic solo, one of the Uruk-Hai begins to weep, begging for it to stop. Soon all the Uruk-Hai are crying for deliverance: <B>“Buddha! Zeus! God! One of you guys get off your ass and help us!!” </B> The Corgan’s keep on rocking.

CUT TO: Hour twelve. Billy is naming things that rhyme with Corgan. His father strums on a C-chord repeatedly. </I>

<B>BILLY</B>
Uh . . . Corgan. . . was told again . . . everything’s zen . . . like a hen . . .

<B>CORGAN SR.</B>
<I>(howling)</I>
BORN UNDER A BAD SIGN!!!

<B>BILLY</B>
uh . . . Ibuprofen . . . Dorigan . . .

<B>URUK-HAI #1</B>
<I>(screaming in pain)</I>
OH COME ON!!! “DORIGAN?!” <I>”DORIGAN?!!”</I> THAT ISN’T EVEN A REAL WORD!! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

<I>With that, the Uruk-Hai impales himself on his sword. Several others follow suit. Some try to rip off their own ears.

CUT TO: Hour seventeen. The last Uruk-Hai beats himself to death with a hammer. Billy is pouring sweat and causing his guitar to feedback so much it shatters glass. Corgan Sr. taps him on the shoulder. Billy notices the pile of dead bodies that litters the Metro and smiles. Corgan Sr. smiles back then falls to the stage. The rock was too much for him. </I>

<B>CORGAN SR.</B>
<I>(Dying)</I>
Now. Go . . . my son. Leave me . . .

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(Choking back tears)</I>
No! You’re coming with me! I’ll not leave you here. I’ve got to save you!

<B>CORGAN SR.</B>
<I>(Still dying.)</I>
You . . . already have, Luke.

<B>BILLY</B>
Billy.

<B>CORGAN SR.</B>
<I>(Suddenly fine)</I>
Oh, right.
<I>(Dying again.)</I>
You were right. You were right about me. Tell your sister you were right . . .

<B>BILLY</B>
Father! I won’t leave you . . . !

<I>With a final shuddering breath, Bill Corgan Sr. dies. All is quiet.

SMASH! The door breaks down: in storms ZOMBIE MEVLOIN!</I>

<B>ZOMBIE MEVLOIN</B>
Braiiinnnnnsssss……!!!

<I>And BLAM! Zombie Mevloin’s head explodes. Out from the gloom holding a shotgun walks J.C. Battered, bloody, beaten but unbowed. He walks up to Billy. J.C. extends his hand to Billy.</I>

<B>J.C.</B>
Partners?

<B>BILLY</B>
More than that. Lovers.

<B>J.C.</B>
Forever.

<I>They shake on it. J.C. smiles.</I>

<B>J.C.</B>
Let’s go kick some ass.

<I>Both Billy and J.C. jump at the camera screaming.

FREZE FRAME.

ROLL CREDITS over FREEZE FRAME and music: “SIMPLE MINDS – (DON’T YOU) FORGET ABOUT ME”

FINAL TITLE CARD:

<B>THE END ? </I></B>

Boycott Graceland
06-23-2003, 04:25 PM
Originally posted by Ugly
How's this for a climax?


holy crap, man. i want to figure out a way to father your child.

Injektilo
06-23-2003, 04:50 PM
Originally posted by Boycott Graceland


holy crap, man. i want to figure out a way to father your child.

I call second thru eigth children. I didn't think you could top you synopsis from before, but... damn!

Electro
06-25-2003, 12:43 PM
sorry, but that type of story has been raped already by Kiss, in Detroit Rock City. If you would watch more vh1 like me, you would know that and wouldnt have wasted your time.

twilightfadez
06-25-2003, 01:04 PM
:rofl:

Boycott Graceland
06-25-2003, 03:18 PM
EPISODE II: BACK TO THE METRO


The film opens with shot of the still burning rubble of The Metro, even though it has been more than two weeks since the final showdown.

Enter BC & JC


Billy: I can't believe it's been more than two weeks since the final showdown.

Jimmy: (distracted by Dr. Mario on his Gameboy, remains silent)

Billy: I SAID...I CAN'T BELIEVE IT JIMMY.

Jimmy: (recoils as if about to be hit and whimpers)


A flash of light from the sky. A Delorian materializes from nothing and lands inches away from BC + JC, leaving streaks of fire behind it.

A wirey haired old man emerges from the car.


Doc: Marty! It's happened again! It's time to go back...TO THE METRO!


BC + JC quickly get in to the time machine.


Billy: Heeeere we go again!


The Delorian flies off in to the night.


Title theme plays, opening credits role.



okay, someone else take it from here.

Ugly
08-08-2003, 09:49 PM
<B>INT. ABANDONDED WAREHOUSE</B>

<I>The warehouse is completely empty and run down, save for a few beanbag chairs, a chalkboard and a few rats in cages. In walks DOC, BILLY, JIMMY and JAMES. JIMMY is still playing Dr. Mario on his Game Boy. James is idly painting his nails.</I>

<B>BILLY</B>
Ok, Doc, explain to me <B>why</B> exactly we’ve time travelled to December 2nd, 2000?

<B>DOC</B>
<I>(exasperated, as usual)</I>
Because, Marty, the future is at stake! What happens this night in Chicago will have cataclysmic consequences for the entire world!

<B>JIMMY</B>
<I>(addressing his Game Boy lovingly)</I>
You’re Dr. Mario, I’m Dr. Love. Together we’re a funk-tacular!

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(pointedly ignoring Jimmy’s ramblings)</I>
So why did you drag me along with these idio-
<I>(James and Jimmy shoot Billy dirty looks. He recovers quickly)</I>
-- with my bandmates. What do they have to do with my future?

<B>DOC</B>
<I>(laughing)</I>
Marty! Hahahah! “what they have to do with my future?” hahhah! What a silly question--
<I>(ignoring Billy’s question he shoves BC into a beanbag chair.)</I>
Now siddown.

<I>Billy lets out a world-weary sigh. James and Jimmy hook up Game Boys and play Head-to-head. Doc is engrossed in drawing on the chalkboard. He draws a picture of a woman that Billy stares blankly at.</I>

<B>DOC</B>
You see Marty: this woman here is the lynchpin! Paz Lenchantin!

<B>BILLY</B>
And this is supposed to mean something to be because . . .?

<B>DOC</B>
Marty, she means everything to everything!

<I>Doc flips over the chalkboard. On the back is a timeline of Billy’s life. Several events and dates are marked on it: “Billy’s first kiss”, “Billy’s first guitar”, “Billy’s first gay experience with Joe Shanahan”, “Billy’s fifth gay experience with Joe Shanahan ”, “Billy’s sixty-seventh gay experience with Joe Shanahan”, etc. etc.</I>

<B>DOC</B>
<I>(banging on various dates on the chalkboard)</I>
In August of 2000, your band played on the same bill with Paz Lenchantin, Mexican bassist for “A Perfect Circle”. Yourself and Lenchantin engaged with several sexual indiscretions over the course of that tour. She will be HERE tonight, December 2nd, 2000 at the Metro Chicago where your band is playing their final show. Tonight is the night where she fully sinks her claws into you! You are weak, tired, weary and depressed. This presents the perfect opportunity to infest you and begin her evil master plan! This will set of a chain-reaction of events that lead to your career and the word’s eventual downfall!!

<B>BILLY</B>
What do you mean?

<I>Doc grabs a stack of CD’s and silently lays out the history of the future: documenting each step of Corgan’s downfall. He throws the CD’s at Billy’s feet:
<B>“ZWAN – MARY STAR OF THE SEA”, (2003)
“DJALI ZWAN DVD”, (2004)
“ZWAN – SONGS FOR ROUSING BOUTS OF ANAL SEX BETWEEN GAY MEN” (2005)
“SON OF ZWAN – BARRY’S CAR MADE OF MEAT” (2008)
“ZWANARO – ITS ZWANTASTIC!!” (2010)</B>.

Then its the solo CDs:<B> “ITS B0LLY!!” (2016)
“BILLY CORGAN SINGS THE BLUES” (2018)
“BILLY’S LULLABYES’ FOR BILLY JR.” (2022)</B>
and finally
<B>“BILLY SEZ SHUT THE FUCK UP AND BUY THIS CD CUZ I HAVE ALIMONY PAYMENTS TO MAKE” (2035)</I></B>

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(reacting to the CD covers)</I>
For the love of God, I’m wearing a halter–top and short-shorts on half of these!!

<B>DOC</B>
You’re lucky I skipped over the Goth-Industrial-Polka years.
<I> (Becoming more livid as the tale goes on, gesturing wildly in the air.)</I>
Using profit from all of your CDs Paz is able to amass an entire fortune to build an army of super-intelligent cyborgs and talking pies that are sent back in time to completely distort the timeline with that culminates with Paz becoming the ruler new post-apocalyptic world! Don’t you see? It’s her fault that Judgement Day happened! She’s the one! Paz is the key!

<B>BILLY</B>
Why would she do this?

<B>DOC</B>
Because, Marty: I don’t believe she’s human.

<B>BILLY</B>
Yeah, I know she’s Mexican but what does that have to do with anything?

<I>Doc pauses for a moment to comprehend this stupid remark. He then takes off his shoe and throws it at Billy.</I>

<B>BILLY</B>
Ow!

<B>DOC</B>
<I>(getting back on topic.)</I>
I’m not sure I have it all figured out but I believe that she arrived on this planet over a billion years ago. The dinosaurs dying out? That was her. The black death? Paz again. The Holocaust? September 11th? John Travolta’s career? The list goes on and on. I believe she is a SUCCUBUS – something that can assume any form she wishes. She uses it to seduce men to do her bidding. With Adam she was Eve. With Anthony she was Cleopatra. With you she’s a fugly bass player.

<I>James sniggers at this, Billy throws the shoe at him in response.</I>

<B>DOC</B>
It is up to you three to go to the Metro and replace <B><I>yourselves</I></B> at the final show in Chicago. Marty you must <B>REJECT PAZ’s ADVANCES</B>. You must shoot her down. Tell her to take a long walk off a short peer. Jimmy will be your muscle and James can . . .

<I>Doc pauses and looks at James. James looks up at him with a puppy dog look in his expectant eyes.</I>

<B>DOC</B>
<I>(continuing)</I>
. . . Well James can do whatever it is he does. Right! Anyway you three take the DeLorean to the Metro, replace yourselves and stop Paz before the madness begins!

<B>BILLY</B>
Hey wait, Doc, Doc, can’t you come with us?

<B>DOC</B>
I’m afraid I can’t Marty.
<I>(he coughs)</I>
For you see, I’m dying . . .

<I>With that Doc falls over, face first, dead as a doornail. James pokes him with a stick just to be sure.</I>

<B>EXT. METRO – BACK PARKING LOT - NIGHT</B>

<I>The DeLorean pulls into the parking lot, Billy waving away a few security guards. They get out of the DeLorean and sneak around to the back entrance and hide behind the band member’s trailers, checking out the area.</I>

<B>JAMES</B>
Back door, huh? Good idea.

<B>JIMMY</B>
<I>(Not looking up from his Game Boy)</I>
Yeah, that’s what your mom said last night too.

<I>James steps on Jimmy’s foot. Jimmy grimaces but keeps playing Dr. Mario.</I>

<B>BILLY</B>
Ok, we have to sneak inside. We can’t be just waltzing around like this, its going to cause trouble. But how are we gonna get in unrecognised . . .

<I>Billy notices some piles of discarded garbage outside the trailers. One is a box labelled <B>”SOILED MAN SKIRTS”</B> and the other is a bag of discarded hypodermic needles labelled <B>”JC”</B>. A slow grin spreads across Billy’s face.</I>

<B>BILLY</B>
James, are you pondering what I’m pondering?

<B>JAMES</B>
I think so, Billy. But I’ve decided that bestiality is wrong and Bugg has learned to accept that.

<I>Billy’s jaw drops and looks at James stunned. The only sound is the bleeping of Jimmy getting a triple score in Dr. Mario.</I>

<B>EXT – METRO – BACK DOOR - NIGHT</B>

<I>Standing guard at the back door is a big black security guard named EARL. He is letting people in checking names off on a clipboard as he does. In the distance a towering black figure is unsteadily shambling towards him.

We get a better look at a gigantic figure draped in a few soiled black MACHINA outfits that are pinned together with discarded hypodermic needles. A closer look would reveal that the figure is clearly compromised of three people ridding piggyback ontop of each other since James’ elbow is sticking out of the side. The “head” is Billy who is wearing an orange foam cowboy hat and a fake moustache to disguise himself. He sways back and forth, trying to keep his balance on top of Jimmy and James.</I>

<B>JAMES</B>
<I>(muffled and obscured underneath the outfit)</I>
Jimmy your head is crushing my balls.

<B>JIMMY</B>
<I>(also muffled and obscured underneath the outfit)</I>
Yeah well, your heel is digging into my eye. Deal.

<B>JAMES</B>
Well do me a favour and shift your weight since you’re carrying—Jimmy, ARE YOU PLAYING DR. MARIO UNDER THERE?!

<B>JIMMY</B>
Maybe.

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(whispering fiercely)</I>
Quiet! We are sneaking!

<I>The towering figure reaches the door and nearly topples over but Billy steadies himself on top. Earl stares at him blankly.</I>

<B>EARL</B>
Who you be?

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(with a fake accent that sounds like a cross between “Guy Ingonito” and “The Waterboy.”)</I>
Good evening, kind sir. My name is Eduardo Corgan the Third. I am Billy’s cousin from Iceland. I am here to wish him luck before the historic final show.

<B>EARL</B>
<I>(checking clipboard)</I>
No come in. Name no be on list, yo.

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(still with the high-pitched accent)</I>
Ah that is to be expected. For you see, my name is written in invisible ink. Billy’s very protective of his family.

<I>Earl looks at his clipboard. Looks back up at “Eduardo”. Squints closely at his clipboard. Squints closely at “Eduardo.”

A beat passes. Sweat begins to form underneath the rim of Billy’s foam cowboy hat. Earl shrugs and opens the door.</I>

<B>EARL</B>
You done go in now.

<I>”Eduardo” takes a step towards the door.</I>

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(high pitched accent)</I>
Thank you very mu—

<I>Billy bangs his head against the top of the doorway.</I>

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(normal voice)</I>
GOD!! JIMMY!! WATCH YOUR STEP!!!

<I>Earl stares blankly. Billy manages a shrug.</I>

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(high pitched voice again)</I>
I mean, uh . . . Good Jiminy! I should watch my step!

<I>Earl continues to stare blankly. It’s not sure if he’s comprehending, contemplating, or even comatose. Billy ducks his head and “Eduardo” walks inside the door.</I>

<B>INT. METRO – BACKSTAGE HALLWAY</B>

<I>A long narrow corridor with various doors that lead out to the stage, dressing rooms, bathrooms and storage closets. Stacked all over are cases with guitar amps, drum kits, large cameras, DV recorders and lines of wire that snake throughout the hallway.

Jimmy trips on a patch chord and all three spill out onto the floor in a mess of legs, fake moustaches, arms, Game Boys, soiled man skirts and cowboy foam cats. They immediately stash their costume behind a large stack. Hearing footsteps, all three duck for cover in the jumbled mess that litters the hallway.

Crouched behind various stacks of gear and boxes, Jimmy, James and Billy peek out. Around the corner comes FUTURE JAMES and FUTURE JIMMY.</I>

<B>FUTURE JIMMY</B>
Do these shorts make my ass look big?

<B>FUTURE JAMES</B>
<I>(checking out Future Jimmy’s ass and shrugging)</I>
Kind of . . .

<I>Our Heroes get a good look at them. Jimmy chuckles and pokes James in the ribs.</I>

<B>JIMMY</B>
Nice suit, you hipster dofus.

<B>JAMES</B>
Yeah sure, you’re one to talk. Did you just come back from jogging or what?

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(smugly)</I>
Well I’m sure that my future self has presented himself with dignity and po-

<I>Around the corner walks FUTURE BILLY in his silver dress.</I>

<B>BILLY</B>
Ah fuck.

<B>FUTURE BILLY</B>
My God, I’m having second thoughts about this. Am I really making the right decision? Should I just kill the one thing in my life that consistently gave it meaning? The Pumpkins are all that I have known. Do I want to just put it down like an old dog and completely walk away from it?

<B>FUTURE JAMES</B>
Well, actually, Bil-

<B>FUTURE BILLY</B>
<I>(snapping)</I>
Shut the fuck up, Iha, I wasn’t talking to you!

<I>Future Billy, Future James and Future Jimmy walk by the hiding spot of Our Heroes. They immediately duck behind the boxes even further. Jimmy takes his Game Boy off pause and starts playing Dr. Mario again. Billy is looking at his hands like he just killed someone.</I>

<B>BILLY</B>
My God, am I really that insensitive? What has happened to me? I used to be nice and easygoing, but starring into that bitter reflection of my future self has caused a shame-spiral. What turned me into the narcissistic man that just crossed my eyes?

<B>JAMES</B>
Well, actually, Bil-

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(snapping)</I>
Shut the fuck up, Iha, I wasn’t talking to you!

<I>James plops down, sulking. Jimmy curls his knees up to his chest and plays Dr. Mario intensely. Billy rests his head against the wall. From the stage the opening riff of “Rocket” is heard.</I>

<B>INT. METRO – BACKSTAGE HALLWAY

<I>”TITLE CARD: 3 AND A HALF HOURS LATER”</B>

The crowd in the Metro cheers as “1979” finishes. Jimmy is still in the exact same position as before mashing Game Boy buttons with vigour. James and Billy are asleep, spooning. The cheering wakes up Billy first. He realises that James’ arm is around his chest. Looking horrified, he very slowly disentangles himself from James and then kicks his co-guitarist in the shin to wake him up.</I>

<B>JAMES</B>
<I>(waking suddenly)</I>
But I don’t wanna touch Uncle Jimbo’s bathing suit!!!

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(hissing)</I>
Shhhhhh!!! I hear somebody coming!

<I>Down the hallway walks Future Billy and BILL CORGAN SR.</I>

<B>FUTURE BILLY</B>
Dad: do me a favour and tell Joe that we’ll come out and for the final song after I take a shit.

<B>BILL CORGAN SR.</B>
How appropriate.

<I>Corgan Sr. exits the hallway while Future Billy continues walking, muttering expletives under his breath. From their hiding point, Billy, James and Jimmy watch Future Billy go into the bathroom. Billy looks around, makes sure the coast is clear and goes up and knocks on the bathroom door.</I>

<B>FUTURE BILLY</B>
<I>(muffled from behind the bathroom door)</I>
Jesus Christ, let a man take a crap!

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(deep voice)</I>
Pizza delivery.

<B>FUTURE BILLY</B>
<I>(excited)</I>
Ooohhh, pizza while taking a dump. Now that’s service! Come in here and feed me pizza while I shit: this is gonna be great!

<I>The door opens and Billy slips inside, slamming the door behind him. A muffled cry and a few dull THUDDING noises are heard. The door creeps open and Billy drags out an unconscious Future Billy, who’s pants are down by his ankles. Billy drags Future Billy to a nearby storage closet and closes the door.

We can hear the crowd out in the metro chanting, the cheers reaching backstage.</I>

<B>METRO CROWD </B>
<I>(Off screen)</I>
ONE MORE SONG! ONE MORE SONG!

<B>FUTURE JAMES</B>
<I>(Off screen) </I>
Hey Billy, the natives are getting restless!

<I>Jimmy and James duck down. Jimmy turns down the volume on his Game Boy but keeps playing. James starts riffling through the various suitcases, boxes and storage equipment that litter the hallway. He takes out a large camera and nods satisfactorily. Future James enters the hallway.</I>

<B>FUTURE JAMES</B>
C’mon Billy, they’re libel to start a riot over there.

<I>Off screen and on stage a drunk man takes the mic and begins to rally the crowd.</I>

<B>DRUNK GUY</B>
<I>(Off screen)</I>
Come on!!! Lets hear it!!!

<I>The crowd off screen cheers in response.</I>

<I>James pops out from behind the boxes and guitar cases, holding the camera infront of his face, obscuring his features. Future James sees a figure coming towards him holding a camera and sighs.</I>

<B>FUTURE JAMES</B>
No pictures, please. Flash photography impedes my ability to rock.

<I>James walks up to Future James, lowers the camera, and smiles. Future James stares in shock.</I>

<B>JAMES</B>
Say “CHEESE!”

<I>James cracks Future James across the head with camera. Future James hits the ground out cold. </I>

<B>JAMES</B>
<I>(smug)</I>
Heh. With a dry cool wit like that I could be an action hero.

<I>Around the corner walks Future Jimmy. He stares at both Iha’s. </I>

<B>FUTURE JIMMY</B>
What the-

<I>Jimmy taps Future Jimmy on the shoulder. Future Jimmy spins and comes face to face with himself.</I>

<B>JIMMY</B>
Me punch now you face!!!

<I>And he does. Future Jimmy is out like a light, banging his head on the side of a drum kit as he goes down.</I>

<B>JIMMY</B>
<I>(smug)</I>
Heh. With a dry cool wit like that I could be an action hero.

<I>James opens his mouth to say something, closes it and then drags Future James to the nearby storage closet. Jimmy follows suit. They both drag their counterparts to the closet and close the door.</I>

<B>DRUNK GUY</B>
<I>(off screen)</I>
You sound like a New York audience! This is Chicago! LETS GO!!

<I>The cheering becomes more intense off screen. They really want an encore.

From behind the closet door we hear muffled voices.</I>

<B>BILLY</B>
Man, I don’t believe I have to put this thing on.

<B>JAMES</B>
It’s not as if you haven’t worn dresses before, y’know.

<B>BILLY</B>
Yeah but that was at least a floral pattern that brought out my eyes. Silver makes my ass look big.

<B>JIMMY</B>
Hey! Is that someone’s hand?

<B>JAMES</B>
Oh, sorry, I thought that was a pillow.

<B>JIMMY</B>
I didn’t ask you to move it.

<I>Assorted bumping and banging is heard from behind the door. Muttered expletives, “Freakin spandex”, “ugly boots”, etc. etc.

Around the corner, holding her bass comes MELISSA AUF DER MAR. She’s looking around for her wayward bandmates.</I>

<B>MELISSA</B>
Billy?! Jimmy?! James?! C’mon we can play hide and go seek afterwards ok? We gotta get back on stage.

<B>DRUNK GUY</B>
<I>(off screen)</I>
Come on and make it loud!!! LOUD!!!!

<I>The crowd reacts. They really REALLY want an encore.

Out of the door spills Billy, James and Jimmy: now dressed in the clothes of their future counterparts. </I>

<B>MELISSA</B>
<I>(eyeing them suspiciously)</I>
What were you guys doing in there?

<B>JAMES</B>
Oh, you know, just three men coming out of the closet.

<B>MELISSA</B>
<I>(hefting bass in air )</I>
Well, come on. I gotta have this back at the store by 2 AM or else I lose my refund.

<I>As they walk towards the stage Billy leans towards James.</I>

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(whisper)</I>
Who is that broad anyway?

<B>JAMES</B>
<I>(whisper)</I>
I dunno but she’s holding a bass and not smoking crack so that’s a plus.

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(whisper)</I>
Yeah, I guess we finally—Jimmy?!
<I>(hissing)</I>
JIMMY! Put . . . the Game Boy . . . away . . . before I . . . take it away!

<I>Jimmy reluctantly puts the Game Boy in his spandex pocket, leaving a significant bulge.</I>

<B>JAMES</B>
Why is that dumb Dr. Mario game the only thing on his mind?

<B>BILLY</B>
Well there’s usually not much in his mind anyway so once a thought gets in there it enjoys the solitude and has a tendency not to leave.

<I>Jimmy shoots Billy a dirty look. Billy blows a kiss back just piss him off.</I>

<B>INT. METRO – STAGE</B>
<I>The Smashing Pumpkins walk on stage to a large chorus of cheers and chants of “SILVERFUCK!”. Fans screaming adulation. Billy gives a small grin. He looks down at the setlist and sees SILVERFUCK. Billy grabs his guitar and gets behind the mic.</I>

<B>BILLY</B>
Are you ready?

<I>He looks over a James. James shrugs.</I>

<B>BILLY</B>
Are <B>you</B> ready?

<I>He looks back accusingly Jimmy, who was reaching for his Game Boy. Caught in the act, Jimmy grins sheepishly and waves his drum sticks at Billy.

Billy shrugs. He starts the opening riff of Silverfuck but since his mind is elsewhere he messes up.

He arches his eyebrows. Fuck it.

So he decides to just wing it for 30 minutes. </I>

<B>INT. METRO – BACKSTAGE</B>

<I>It is a bustle of activity and noise as the crew begins to pack up, getting ready to party, etc. etc. People rush back and forth, running into one another but getting the job done with controlled chaos. The final note of Silverfuck rings from the stage.</I>

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(off screen from the stage)</I>
God bless you and God bless The Smashing Pumpkins!

<I>Billy staggers backstage weeping and bubbling like a woman. Using a shirtless ROADIE’s stained tank-top as a hanky he blows his nose loudly. He hands the shirt back to the Roadie.</I>

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(still crying)</I>
Th-…th-..thank you…

<B>ROADIE</B>
<I>(reacting to the snot-rag shirt being handed back to him)</I>
Uhh… that’s ok. You keep it.

<I>Backstage walks Jimmy and James, laughing at Billy holding their sides.</I>

<B>JAMES</B>
<I>(pointing and laughing)</I>
Look at Mr. Rockstar crying on stage!

<B>JIMMY</B>
<I>(also laughing)</I>
Want a bottle, little baby?! HAH!

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(starting to cry more)</I>
It’s just … its my final show and I put everything I had into –

<B>JIMMY</B>
<I>(cutting him off and imitating Billy’s womanly sobbing)</I>
It’s just . . .its my final show and I’m a complete and utter pussy!

<I>Jimmy and James laugh so hard they have to hang onto each other for support. Then a female voice cuts like a knife into their glee.</I>

<B>WOMAN’S VOICE</B>
<I>(sweetly)</I>
I thought it was beautiful.

<I>All three turn around. The owner of the voice is PAZ LENCHANTIN. She is wearing blue short-shorts and a halter top that says: “I <3 bald singers named Corgan”. Paz walks forward, lovingly strokes the side of Billy’s face and smiles a crocodile smile. </I>

<B>PAZ</B>
It was heaven for 30 minutes straight.

<I>Jimmy and James immediately react to seeing Paz: knowing that they can’t let her seduce Billy. Billy doesn’t recognize her or notice because too in love with his sadness. He just wants comfort.</I>

<B>BILLY</B>
You.. you really think so?

<B>JAMES</B>
<I>(aside to Jimmy)</I>
This is not good.

<B>PAZ</B>
<I>(comfortingly patting Billy’s bald head)</I>
Of course I do. When you sang “She loves you, yeah yeah yeah.” It made me think how much that—

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(hopefully. Looking for acceptance.)</I>
You love me?

<B>PAZ</B>
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(lost in thought)</I>
I gave the audience everything. What’d they give to me?

<B>PAZ</B>
<I>(Philosophically)</I>
A pocket full of empty rings and a diamond dream.

<I>Billy gazes into Paz’s eyes with loving understanding. A mystical otherworldly energy seems to radiate from Paz into his mind. He’s hooked. Paz wraps Billy up in a hug. Paz looks back at James and Jimmy and grins, demons dancing behind her eyes. This woman is evil and she loves it.

James steps in trying to stop the situation from spiraling out of control.</I>

<B>JAMES</B>
Uh, yeah Billy. That was really great. Now how about you me and Jimmy go get some Orange Smoothies?

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(defiantly)</I>
I want to stay. With her.

<B>JIMMY</B>
Oh Jesus.

<B>JAMES</B>
But Billy, she’s the one who Doc told us about! You can’t let her-

<B>PAZ</B>
<I>(interrupting)</I>
You heard what he said. We’re staying with each other.

<I>She wraps Billy again in her comforting bosom. Paz grins evilly at James and Jimmy, knowing that she’s won. For a moment, her eyes turn red. Then they go back to normal. Not only is she evil, just like Doc said she’s not even human.

Jimmy gawks openly. James makes a grab for Billy’s arm to pull him away.</I>

<B>JAMES</B>
C’mon, lets go-

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(pointing behind them)</I>
Oh my God, WHAT THE HELL <B>IS THAT?!!</B>

<I>Jimmy and James’ heads snap around. Billy grabs Paz by the arm and bolts for an exit.

Jimmy and James turn back but Billy and Paz are gone, lost in the crowd.</I>

<B>JAMES</B>
Shit! I hate it when he does that!

<B>EXT. METRO – BACK PARKING LOT - NIGHT</B>

<I>Billy and Paz are running for the DeLorean. Hand in hand and laughing all the way. Billy is punchdrunk on his newfound love.</I>

<B>BILLY</B>
They always fall for that trick! You think after the 45th time they’d figure it out. But now, my June, you and me will drive off into the sunset and live forever in happiness!

<I>Suddenly, through the crowd of roadies, trucks, security guards and camera crews runs an EXTREMELY OBESE FAN. He is wearing a GODFATHER TRILOGY t-shirt that is covered in mustard stains. Pinned to his large man-breast is a pin that says <B>”I AM ONE Of GLASS’ GHOST CHILDREN”</B>

Earl, the black slow witted security guard tries to grab at him.</I>

<B>EARL</B>
You not be back here wit no pass!!

<B>EXTREMELY OBESE FAN</B>
<I>(dodging around Earl)</I>
I have to talk to Billy! I have to know!

<I>The fan, moving quickly considering the amount of lard, runs up to Billy and Paz.

Looking back it seems that Earl is running in slow motion. However soon we see people walking past him at a normal speed. Apparently Earl just isn’t very good at long distance sprinting. </I>

<B>EXTREMELY OBESE FAN</B>
<I>(words coming out in a rush)</I>
Billy! I need to know the answer to the MACHINA mystery! I have to spread the word of Glass!

<B>BILLY</B>
Wha-?

<B>EXTREMELY OBESE FAN</B>
<I>(in his own little world)</I>
What is the reason for it all? Who is the key?!

<I>Earl has stopped running to catch his breath and have a smoke. No help is forthcoming from him any time soon.

Billy shrugs, stammers and looks around, not knowing how to deal with this insane fan.</I>

<B>BILLY</B>
Ah… well, uh . .. you see . . .

<I>Billy eyes fall upon Paz. She stares at him intensely. The mystical energy seems to pass into his mind again. He’s completely smitten again.</I>

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(dazed)</I>
My June . . .

<B>EXTREMELY OBESE FAN</B>
<I>(sputtering madly)</I>
That’s it! I knew it! Its June! She’s the key and the Glass Children are people like me who are chosen to spread the word!!

<I>Billy and Paz walk away from the fan who is babbling to himself excitedly. </I>

<B>EXTREMELY OBESE FAN</B>
Oh glorious day! Oh rapture! Oh fortune! For I know the word of Glass that shall be put—

<I>Earl finally catches up to the Extremely Obese Fan and then beats him to death with a brick. Applause breaks out from several bystanders.

Out of the Metro runs Jimmy and James, just in time to see Billy and Paz jump into the DeLorean and peel off.

James kicks the ground in frustration. Jimmy whips out his Game Boy and starts playing Dr. Mario again.</I>

<B>JAMES</B>
SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! If that bald headed freak falls in love with Paz then everything is going to happen just like Doc said it would! We’re fucked! We’re domed! Game over, man! Game over!

<B>JIMMY</B>
<I>(paying attention to his Game Boy)</I>
Not yet.

<B>JAMES</B>
<I>(completely misinterpreting him)</I>
Hey, you’re right! We’re not licked yet. We gotta stop them! C’mon Jimmy.

<I>James runs off. Jimmy is still standing there playing his Game Boy. James runs back in and takes it from him.</I>

<B>JIMMY</B>
Hey!

<B>JAMES</B>
<I>(waving it like a Scooby-snack)</I>
Come on, boy! Follow me!

<B>EXT. METRO – STREET - NIGHT</B>

<I>Jimmy and James push their way through a mob of adoring fans and autograph seekers. They see a rather crummy-looking, yet still functional, car idling at the curb. Jimmy and James yank open the door and throw the occupants out onto the street.</I>

<B>INT. CAR</B><I>
Jimmy gets behind the wheel and guns it like the racecar driver he is. James leans out the window and calls back.</I>

<B>JAMES</B>
Thanks for lending us your car! We really appreciate the fans support over the years and –

<I>James looks down and notices DAT tapes scattered all over the floor of the car and stacks of tapes in the back seat. He picks one up and examines it closely.</I>

<B>JAMES</B>
Uh, Jimmy, why is this tape labelled “James and D’Arcy’s first anal - 03/18/1989”?

<B>EXT. METRO – STREET - NIGHT</B>

<I>The two occupants who were unceremoniously thrown out of the car get to their feet. One is wearing a t-shirt that says “AC/DC” and the other is wearing a shirt that says “METALLICA”. Their names are FARES and QUINTO.</I>

<B>QUINTO</B>
<I>(shocked and awed)</I>
Dude . . . we just got carjacked by James Iha and Jimmy Chamberlin. . .

<B>FARES</B>
<I>(grinning)</I>
Leet as fuck, buddy. Leet as fuck.

<I>They both start to laugh ala “Beavis and Butthead”, and they continue to laugh, right up to the moment when they’re both run over by a speeding truck.</I>

<B>EXT. CHICAGO – ABANDONED PLAYGROUND – NIGHT </B>

<I>It is a cold moonlit night as the DeLorean slows to a stop by the side of the snow-covered road for a romantic view. Billy gets out of the car and, like a gentleman, opens the door for his beloved Paz. They make quite the pair in the moonlight: Billy in his silver dress being brainwashed by otherworldly forces. Paz in her halter-top and blue short shorts, using her mystical energy to bend Billy to her will.

Paz’s halter top shimmers mystically and now reads: “I <3 World Domination”. She presents her short-shorted backside to Corgan.</I>

<B>PAZ</B>
Do these shorts make my ass look big?

<B>BILLY</B>
Not really.

<I>Suddenly Paz’s butt expands (ala the T-X in <B>”Terminator 3”</B>) to a nice full ghetto booty. Billy watches in wonderment. All of the strange happenings are completely oblivious to him, so in love is he.</I>

<B>PAZ</B>
<I>(indicating her newly enlarged butt)</I>
How about now?

<I>Billy smiles, nods and drools approvingly.</I>

<B>EXT. CHICAGO – SIDE STREET - NIGHT</B>

<I>The camera PANS FORWARD over the car that James and Jimmy stole. It is has crashed. The car has been reduced to a smoking heap wrapped around a tree.

The camera PANS FORWARD more to see TWO CHILDREN who are beaten up with black eyes, split lips and lying unconscious on a sidewalk.

The camera PANS FORWARD more to see James riding a tricycle. His pockets are stuffed with DAT tapes that he managed to salvage from the wreck of the leet trader’s car. He huffs and puffs with exertion on the children’s bike.</I>

<B>JAMES</B>
<I>(muttering to himself, biking along)</I>
Grand theft auto and small theft tricycle. I am so going to hell for this one.
<I>(yelling ahead)</I>
Dammit, Jimmy! Why did you have to crash the car?

<I>The camera PANS FORWARD to see Jimmy ridding another red tricycle. Amazingly, Jimmy is able to ride the tricycle and play his Game Boy at the same time.</I>

<B>JIMMY</B>
I wouldn’t have crashed the car if you had just given me back Dr. Mario!

<B>EXT. – CHICAGO - ABANDONED PLAYGROUND - NIGHT</B>

<I>Billy and Paz are dancing in the moonlight.</I>

<B>PAZ</B>
Oh Billy!

<B>BILLY</B>
Oh Paz!

<I>Around the street corner enters Jimmy and James on their stolen tricycles.</I>

<B>JAMES</B>
<I>(reacting to Billy and Paz)</I>
Oh Dammit!

<I>Jimmy and James get off their tricycles and run up to Billy and Paz. Jimmy is so concerned he even puts away his Game Boy. This is serious shit.</I>

<B>JIMMY</B>
Hey, Billy! Snap out of it!

<I>Billy continues to dance with Paz with a grin stuck to his face. Paz looks at him intensely and the mystical energy envelops Billy again. His grin gets even wider and the bulge in his dress gets even bigger.</I>

<B>JAMES</B>
C’mon, man. Fate of the world? Destruction of the future? Zombies? Talking pies? Evil seductive beings named Paz? Is any of this ringing a bell?

<I>Paz twirls Billy around. They continue to dance. Paz sticks her tongue out at Jimmy and James.

James in frustration sticks his hands into his pockets.</I>

<B>JIMMY</B>
<I>(sighing)</I>
Total brain lock, dude. He’s in his own little world.

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(to Paz)</I>
Oh Paz, you make me feel like I’m in my own little world!

<B>JIMMY</B>
See?

<I>James feels something in his pocket. After he feels that, he notices that he still has some DAT tapes crammed in there.

He takes a tape out, looks at it and grins.</I>

<B>JAMES</B>
Hey Billy! Somebody has a copy of us recording in your dad’s basement from 1988!

<I>Billy immediately reacts like he’s had a hot poker shoved up his ass.</I>

<B>BILLY</B>
WHAT???!!!

<I>He throws Paz to the ground in anger. She looks stunned and angry. Billy doesn’t notice. He’s livid.</I>

<B>BILLY</B>
Who leaked my tape?! Who the fuck leaked my fucking tape?! Who's the slimy little communist shit, tinkle-toed cocksucker who just signed his own death warrant?!

<I>Billy grabs the DAT from James, nearly taking James’ fingers with it. Billy starts cursing repeatedly and invoking the name of Almighty Zeus to smite his enemies.</I>

<B>JIMMY</B>
<I>(aside to James)</I>
How did you know that would work?

<B>JAMES</B>
<I>(smugly)</I>
There’s only one thing that can break through Billy’s thick bald skull: Billy’s thick bald ego.

<I>Paz gets up off the ground. She stands very still.</I>

<B>PAZ</B>
Billy, my love, come back to me.

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(waving her off)</I>
Yeah, yeah. In a minute. I gotta figure out how this got leaked.

<B>PAZ</B>
Oh there’s no need for it now. We have our lov-

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(interrupting)</I>
Yeah well, that’s great. I’m busy.

<I>Paz’s face begins to turn red. She sets her jaw, grinding her teeth.</I>

<B>PAZ</B>
But Billy, we have our plans and our future to think of.

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(sighing and rolling his eyes)</I>
Not tonight, dear. I have a headache.

<I>Paz takes a dangerous step towards Billy. She seems to be loosing her cool. Her fingers are sticking out at the side: clawlike. Energy seems to crackle in the air around her. Steam starts to seep out of her ears like when somebody gets mad on a Buggs Bunny cartoon.</I>

<B>PAZ</B>
<I>(dangerously)</I>
No Billy. We have to consider our future right now.

<I>She locks her gaze with Billy. Her eyes and face turn red. She speaks in a voice quite unlike her own.</I>

<B>PAZ</B>
Now Corgan: You will not deny me. You will come with me and we will form anew band from the ashes of the old. One that you will dedicate to raising power and fortune that I will use to-

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(cutting her off)</I>
Oh save the Dr. Evil act, sister. You know what? I don’t like your attitude. You come all in here, trying to talk about all these things and ideas and plans and now you wanna form a band with me?!

<I>Steam starts to shoot out of Paz’s ears more. James and Jimmy take a cautious step back. Billy takes a step forward towards her, even more pissed than before.</I>

<B>PAZ</B>
That is the way it must be.

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(Becoming increasingly more angry and louder throughout)</I>
“The way it must be”?! What the fuck are you babbling about, lady?! You know what, even if I <B>DID</B> ever entertain the notion of making a band with you I’d probably just bang you for a year and then throw you away like a parking ticket! If there’s one thing I can’t stand its people telling me what to do. Do you know who I am? I am Billy-fucking-Corgan, creator of the largest selling double album –

<B>JAMES</B>
<I>(interjecting)</I>
Second largest.

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(shouting over James)</I>
--<B>LARGEST SELLING</B> DOUBLE ALBUM OF ALL TIME! AND, LITTLE MISS PAZ, YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST WALK INTO MY LIFE AND TELL ME, THE ALMIGHTLY CORGAN, <B>HOW TO RUN IT YOU GOT ANOTHER <I>GODDAMN THING COMING! </B></I>

<I>A beat passes. Then Billy spins on his heel and walks away from her.

Paz’s face is completely red. Steam continues to shoot out of her ears. She’s a kettle reaching boiling point.

She looks so angry she could explode.

Then she does. Literally.

Paz explodes in a very gay looking multicoloured rainbow. Cartoon-ish stars, guitars, clouds and birds spring out of her. It looks like the flash animated intro to Zwan.com. The force of the explosion knocks Billy, James and Jimmy to the ground. Everything is drenched in a glow of neon, red, green, blues. There might be a scream of Paz mixed in there, but its so high, distorted and clipping it’s really hard to tell.

The glow fades away. It is suddenly as still as a graveyard. Jimmy, James and Billy stagger to their feet. They look around. Not a single snowflake drops. Not a single bird stirs.

James opens his mouth to say something but he is interrupted by Paz’s booming voice that seems to come from everywhere at once. Her voice can be heard all over Chicago and even in some parts of Joliet. </I>

<B>PAZ’S VOICE</B>
<I>(Booming, deep, echoing and menacing)</I><B>
SUBCREATUES! LENCHANTIN THE DESTROYER, LENCHANTIN THE MIGHTY SUCCUBUS AND THE TRAVELER OF DEATH HAS COME! YOUR TIME ON THIS PITIFUL SPHERE IS AT AN END! CHOOSE AND PERISH!</B>

<B>JIMMY</B>
Is she talking to us?

<B>JAMES</B>
What’s she talking about? Choose what?
<I>(to the heavens)</I>
What do you mean, “choose”? We don’t understand!

<B>PAZ’S VOICE</B>
CHOOSE!!

<B>BILLY</B>
Wait, wait, wait. Remember Doc said that Paz could take on different forms? I think she’s saying that since we’re about to be sacrificed anyway we get to choose the form we want her to take.

<B>JAMES</B>
So you’re saying I stand here and concentrate on the image Joe Shannahan, Paz will appear as Joe Shannahan and wipe us out?

<B>BILLY</B>
That appears to be the case. James, Jimmy: clear you mind. Do not think of anything. We only get one shot at this. Concentrate on nothing.

<B>PAZ’S VOICE</B>
THE CHOICE IS MADE. THE TRAVELLER OF DEATH HAS COME.

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(to the heavens)</I>
Wait! Wait! We didn’t think of anything! That’s not fair!!

<I>A deep rumbling shakes the ground. The trees sway from the rhythmic pounding. It sounds like gigantic footsteps. BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM.

Jimmy, James and Billy look across to the city skyline. We see buildings of downtown Chicago shake and tremble. </I>

<B>EXT. CHICAGO - WRIGLEY FIELD BALLPARK - NIGHT</B>

<I>The ground shakes and people scatter across the streets like ants. Suddenly a gigantic BROWN BOOT crushes Wrigley Field, splitting it in two. Only seeing one leg we can make out the tail end of a lab coat.</I>

<B>EXT. CHICAGO – ABANDONED PLAYGROUND - NIGHT</B>

<I>Jimmy, James and Billy watch in slack jawed horror as another building in downtown Chicago collapses. The building falls to the ground in a heap of rubble and smoke.

From the debris cloud out steps a 50 foot tall gigantic DR. MARIO. And he’s destroying the city.

Billy and James slowly turn to look at Jimmy. Jimmy grins sheepishly.</I>

<B>JIMMY</B>
Well . . . you don’t see that every day, huh?

<I>In response the Godzilla-sized Dr. Mario picks up the Sears Tower and starts swinging it like a baseball bat, knocking an El Train clear into the east end.</I>

<B>JAMES</B>
<I>(Finally snapping on Jimmy)</I>
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, MAN?! SERIOUSLY!!!

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(in shock)</I>
I don’t freakin believe this.

<B>JIMMY</B>
<I>(meekly)</I>
But I hadn’t played in over ten min-

<I>There is a gigantic CRASH as Dr. Mario grabs a passing helicopter and spikes it into the Cabaret Metro.</I>

<B>JAMES</B>
<I>(freaking out)</I>
OH REALLY?! THAT’S A FUCKING SHAME!! NOW WE ONLY HAVE TO DEAL WITH A BIGGIE SIZED FUCKING NINTENDO MASCOT!! THAT’S SO FUCKING MUCH BETTER!! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?!!!

<B>BILLY</B>
That’s a good question.

<I>At which point Billy turns around and address the camera directly, talking to the audience.</I>

<B>BILLY</B>
And it’s an answer that’ll have to wait until you pay to see another movie!

<I>Billy casually walks over and props his knee on the corner of a kid’s slide. In the b.ackground, the gigantic Dr. Mario is still wreaking havoc.</I>

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(addressing the audience in paternal and comforting manner)</I>
You see, kids: it’s all about simple economics. Sequels are out, quite frankly. What with the diminishing returns of “Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle” and “Legally Blonde 2”, the chances of people dealing out cash for a SINGLE sequel are becoming less and less. Now trilogies, my friends, that’s where the real money is made. “The Matrix”, “Lord of the Rings”, “Star Wars”, “Terminator”, “American Pie”. The returning answer from the box office again and again is “third time’s the charm.”

<B>JAMES</B>
<I>(also addressing the audience)</I>
You see kids: the more times that you come and see our movies means that there will be more money for us. More money equals more cash that we can spend on the luxuries and lifestyles that we have become accustomed too. This means we can spend our lucrative backend deals on guitars, crack and hookers.

<B>JIMMY</B>
And heroin. You see kids: Don’t forget that delicious smack. It’ll make you happy.

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(laughing politely and patting JC on the shoulder)</I>
Of course it will, Jimmy.

<I>In the city of Chicago the gigantic Dr. Mario has started breathing fire and stepping on orphanages. </I>

<B>BILLY</B>
So, our faithful and trusting audience members: don’t miss a beat!

<I>Jimmy, James and Billy hold up sacks of money with dollar signs on them.</I>

<B>BILLY</B>
And be sure to be right back here in sixth months for the exciting conclusion: EPISODE III – THE ROCKONING!!!

<I>FREEZE FRAME.

TITLE CARD: <B>TO BE CONCLUDED</B>

ROLL CREDITS

The audience streams out of the theatre in a state of near rioting, blood streaming from their ears, demanding their money back.



. . .




After the credits roll there is a treat for anyone who stuck around / was busy making out.</I>

<B>EXT. DESERT SHACK - DAY</B>

<I>TITLE CARD: MEXICO

A very dusty shack in the middle of nowhere. A tumble weed rolls by. A local propped up against the shack takes a siesta holding a bottle of tequila and wearing a sombrero.</I>

<B>INT. SHACK – BED</B>

<I>We pan up to see D’ARCY lying in bed with a PIE. </I>

<B>D’ARCY</B>
So . . . do you want a rimjob?


<B>THE END</B>

shaniqua
08-09-2003, 10:23 AM
:rofl:
:rofl:
:rofl:
:rofl:
:rofl:

5/5

Injektilo
08-09-2003, 11:13 AM
:eek: :eek: :eek: :D :D

that was great man. absolutly great.

severin
08-09-2003, 11:45 AM
just. awesome.

twilightfadez
08-09-2003, 11:51 AM
solid gold :rofl:

Mayfuck
08-09-2003, 08:59 PM
Originally posted by Ugly
Billy’s jaw drops and looks at James stunned. The only sound is the bleeping of Jimmy getting a triple score in Dr. Mario.

Best part.

Future Boy
08-10-2003, 12:08 AM
Originally posted by Ugly
<B>QUINTO</B>
<I>(shocked and awed)</I>
Dude . . . we just got carjacked by James Iha and Jimmy Chamberlin. . .

<B>FARES</B>
<I>(grinning)</I>
Leet as fuck, buddy. Leet as fuck.
__________

<B>BILLY</B>
Who leaked my tape?! Who the fuck leaked my fucking tape?! Who's the slimy little communist shit, tinkle-toed cocksucker who just signed his own death warrant?!


Damn thats some funny shit!:rofl:

tear stained glass
08-10-2003, 01:06 AM
I like it a bunch. I hope JAYMEZ is less of a pussy in the Rockoning. But really, that made my day like the Secret Diary of Billy Corgan when I first read it.

Ihaman
08-10-2003, 01:12 AM
how about billy corgan and james iha end up IN EACH OTHER'S BODY FOR A WEEK!!!!!!

shaniqua
08-10-2003, 10:36 AM
Originally posted by Ihaman
how about billy corgan and james iha end up IN EACH OTHER'S BODY FOR A WEEK!!!!!!

okay, can someone PLEASE photoshop the freaky friday poster with b0lly and jaymez? thnx.

Halteh
08-10-2003, 11:36 AM
The most entertaining thing I have ever read on any message board or news reader in my whole life! Very well done, I am more than impressed!!

severin
08-10-2003, 12:10 PM
Originally posted by Halteh
The most entertaining thing I have ever read on any message board or news reader in my whole life! Very well done, I am more than impressed!! the remaining question is: when will you guys leak that anal-tape?

TheYellowDart
08-10-2003, 12:27 PM
Artists rendition-

Boycott Graceland
08-11-2003, 04:58 PM
this thread needs to be archived.

Tama
08-11-2003, 07:57 PM
Originally posted by Boycott Graceland
this thread needs to be archived.

Ugly
08-11-2003, 09:41 PM
Originally posted by TheYellowDart
Artists rendition-

That pic seriously made my day. You know you've done a good job when.

In all honesty I wrote it mostly for myself for practice but I was hoping people would read it. I'm surprised people actually read the whole thing and found it funny. I thought the responses were just gonna be <B><I>"that is too long, it looks dumb, I'm not gonna read it and you're a loser for writing it."</B></I> I'm really happy (and, frankly, shocked) that people got a kick out of it.

I actually wrote about 85% of it while I was at work over a few weeks, a few lines at a time whenever I got bored. The sweet thing was I technically got paid to do it.

I wanna concentrate on writing for an article for the newspaper now, so I dunno if I'll do part 3 - but Boycott Graceland just PM'ed me a really good idea and Ihamatt's little bit of bidnez sounded funky so it might eventually happen.

The idea started with "back to the metro" and I thought of the 3rd act of Back to the Future II (duh) as the main inspiration (playing around with something that happened already in real time.) If you read it closely, the lines from the Drunk Guy and Billy's "are you ready?" during Silverfuck are the <B>actual lines</B> from the final Metro show. heck, originally I wanted to make it so that Jimmy/James/Billy from the past were responsible for playing "MCIS" and then played "Tonight, Tonight" intro during the "Rocket" but I didn't think that was very funny so I dropped it.

I thought Boycott's original post about Jimmy playing Dr. Mario was funny so I wanted to keep that going on throughout. But the joke needed a punchline - hence the ending with a gigantic Ghostbusters parody/ homage with Dr. Mario trashing Chicago. So with that I needed a villain (why the hell would there be a giant Dr. Mario and why would they have to go replace themselves in the first place?) and struck on Paz as Gozer/Succubus. I came up with a few lines and scenes, wrote most of it out of order and the rest was just filling in the pieces.

I'm glad people found the Fares/Quntio bit funny - I actually thought it might be a little too mean but I’m glad people knew I was kidding around. Billy freaking out about a tape being leaked just came naturally out of that gag. I didn't plan it at all, it just happened that way. Originally I thought of just having James say “Billy can I have your autograph!” but the other way pays off a lot better. Some lines I had to think of a few times, other ones just came out as fast as I wrote them.

I stuck in a ton of subtle and not so subtle random SP and Zwan references across the whole thing - if you know your shit enough you'll catch them all. ("Quiet! We are sneaking!" is my #1 favourite line in the whole thing) There's also lines from Full Metal Jacket, Simpsons, Return of the Jedi, Pinky and the Brain. There was a bigger Austin Powers reference (originally Billy said "Ow! Who throws his shoe now, honestly?!") but I cut that out. The stuff at the end is actually taken line by line (with slight modifications) from the script for Ghostbusters.

As it stands, I like it. I think the opening is kind of dull - if I had to do it again I'd handle all the plot exposition while they were being chased by killer robot monkeys or something to make it more interesting. For the record my <B>favourite</B> part in the whole thing is when Billy James and Jimmy sneak into the Metro. I like the idea of this really lame and clearly fake disguise and excuses actually working. The costume and the line "my name is written in invisible ink" made me laugh out loud when I first thought of it.

I wrote it as a cliffhanger because A) I was too lazy to think of a way to get them out of it (its a giant Dr. Mario, how the hell do you get out of that if you don't have proton packs?) and B) I like taking a jab at the movie industry about sequel/ trilogy / clifhanger fever. I think originally James was going to fly the DeLorian into Dr. Mario's balls and go out in a blaze of glory but I dropped that.

Anyway, this whole post was just an extremely long and masturbatory way to say: thanks a lot to y’all, seriously.

Mayfuck
08-12-2003, 04:14 AM
^tl,dr

Injektilo
08-12-2003, 11:09 AM
Originally posted by Mayfuck
^tl,dr

i've never been able to figure out what that means, but i'm guessing "too long, didn't read"

correct? wrong?

Ugly
08-12-2003, 12:11 PM
Originally posted by Injektilo


i've never been able to figure out what that means, but i'm guessing "too long, didn't read"



<img src = "http://www.grudge-match.com/Images/terminator.gif">

Affirmative.

sarasvati
08-12-2003, 02:42 PM
I read the whole thing - that was awesome! :D

Tama
08-12-2003, 06:25 PM
Originally posted by sarasvati
I read the whole thing - that was awesome!


Definitely-if you didnt and you have time, go back up and read the whole thing-great dialogue and visuals and what not through the whole post

i_dont_live
03-02-2004, 06:19 AM
oh sweet jesus dude.

that was the sole most fucking awesome thing ive ever read....


ONE MORE SEQUEL.... ONE MORE SEQUEL.... ONE MORE SEQUEL...

oh jesus. somebody find me a fucking film crew. im MAKING this bitch....:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

Isle
03-02-2004, 07:24 AM
well i guess we all know what'll be sweeping the oscars next year huh!:D

i didn't think the pumpkins/zwan movie scripts from the z-board could be beaten, they were awesome. but this kicks so much ass. well done again

Isle
03-02-2004, 07:26 AM
Originally posted by severin
the remaining question is: when will you guys leak that anal-tape?

or at least put a deleted scene on the dvd of billy bumming bootay paz over the car.

Annie Dog
03-02-2004, 09:18 AM
:rofl:

well i just pissed my pants and woke up both my roomie and the guy that lives below me is pounding on the ceiling.

Rockin' Cherub
03-02-2004, 09:58 AM
why don't you send it to bollywood?

Isle
03-02-2004, 10:43 AM
Originally posted by Rockin' Cherub
why don't you send it to bollywood?

haha. good one

Injektilo
03-02-2004, 11:27 AM
Originally posted by Ugly

Paz explodes in a very gay looking multicoloured rainbow. Cartoon-ish stars, guitars, clouds and birds spring out of her. It looks like the flash animated intro to Zwan.com. The force of the explosion knocks Billy, James and Jimmy to the ground. Everything is drenched in a glow of neon, red, green, blues. There might be a scream of Paz mixed in there, but its so high, distorted and clipping it’s really hard to tell.


ahahaha, best part of all.

this is the best thread the SP board has ever seen.

oui henri
03-02-2004, 11:52 AM
Originally posted by Hyperbole
I had to write a screenplay for a course last year, so I wrote out the true story of what happened to myself, Mirror_Untrue, an oui henri on the night of the last show, in screenplay form. my teacher said about a billion times, "wait, this whole thing is true?". now that's a movie!

but yeah. GO AWAY. whoa! i'm famous and i didn't even know it!

Mariner
03-02-2004, 12:00 PM
Originally posted by Injektilo



this is the best thread the SP board has ever seen.

Agreed!

"MELISSA
(hefting bass in air )
Well, come on. I gotta have this back at the store by 2 AM or else I lose my refund."

"The force of the explosion knocks Billy, James and Jimmy to the ground. Everything is drenched in a glow of neon, red, green, blues. There might be a scream of Paz mixed in there, but its so high, distorted and clipping it’s really hard to tell."


http://forums.netphoria.org/images/5stars.gif

Ugly
03-02-2004, 12:12 PM
hey, look what's back.

Boycott Graceland sent me a really good idea on how to get the ball rolling for the 3rd part sometime in the summer and I kind of losely put it together the rest of the story in my head.

JC, James and Billy are stuck in a post-apocalpytic world run by the evil Paz (where everyone works as slaves in Underground Sugar Mines). At the beginning JC, Billy and James escape thier Giant Space Ant captors and Jimmy goes to enlist D'Arcy's help in Mexico. Jimmy finds D'Arcy and they begin a Yoda / Luke Skywalker relationship between them as he "trains" her. Billy and James stay behind to begin the resistance so they enlist the help of ... nah, I won't spoil it. I think it'd be funny, though.

Sadly, got no time to write it in the forseeable future, though. But I might have alot more time on my hands if some shit goes down with OPSEU workers round midnight.

Isle
03-02-2004, 12:51 PM
Originally posted by Ugly
Billy and James stay behind to begin the resistance so they enlist the help of...


ooh i know i know!! the frogs!!

gotta bung them in the movie for good value.

Nimrod
03-02-2004, 05:40 PM
I have a good ending for you, Ugly.

In the very end, James is held prisoner and only D'Arcy and Billy can save him. After a long protracted action sequence, they are able to free James and destroy Paz and the last scene is a serene hill with the smoke and dust just starting to clear.

Billy: Wow, that was a close one.

D'Arcy: Fer sure!

James: Thanks for saving me, D'arc!

D'Arcy: Oh James, you know we're all in this together.

They hug.

Billy turns completely red, an almost inhuman shade.

Billy: James? *I* saved you, ok? *I* did. D'Arcy did little more than follow me around and look somewhat pretty, although she's gone way fucking downhill, ok? You should be thanking *me* you ungrateful son of a bitch! ME! I'M THE CHOSEN ONE!

Billy then proceeds to kill James with his bare hands and when D'Arcy tries to intervene, Billy takes her out as well.

Cut forward to Billy creating a cyborg suit for himself and altering his body to be partially robotic with a time machine in the background. Billy picks up a pie, steps in time machine. Fade to black.

Mariner
03-02-2004, 08:31 PM
Originally posted by Nimrod


The circle of life is complete



Nicely played.

MMBKG
03-02-2004, 09:26 PM
This is the greatest thing in all of history. :D :D :D

Ugly is now my favorite person ever and deserves a Nobel Prize.

*claps*
Take a bow, my good man.

O'Doyle Rules
03-02-2004, 10:31 PM
can i push corgan around?

i_dont_live
03-03-2004, 02:30 AM
your script lead me to have a goddamn dream about a 3rd movie...


in this one, billy goes back in time again to buy stocks in Skittles, as they have skyrocketed since James' got all that spare time...

but he accidentally creates a disturbing second future in which Jimmy Chamberlin becomes the creative genius behind the pumpkins, and releases an album entirely devoted to Dr. Mario. he simply does Billys job, with Billy on drums, and Jimmy on guitar. he shaves his head and everything.

any ideas?

Cretin Soup
03-03-2004, 08:56 AM
Originally posted by i_dont_live


any ideas?

Just two.

Let Ugly dispense the funny.
You, go home.

Rockin' Cherub
03-03-2004, 09:27 AM
The circle of life is complete?

OMG, a perfect circle!!!

Isle
03-03-2004, 09:47 AM
Originally posted by Cretin Soup


Just two.

Let Ugly dispense the funny.
You, go home.

the
03-03-2004, 02:51 PM
ok. i will read this whole thing now.

kiwi
03-05-2004, 07:18 PM
dude.

just.

dude.

awesome.

daydreamer999
03-06-2004, 03:41 AM
:rofl:

Isle
03-06-2004, 07:25 AM
i wonder what billy would think of this:D

Annie Dog
03-06-2004, 07:44 AM
Originally posted by Isle
i wonder what billy would think of this:D

lol why dont you email him the script?

Isle
03-06-2004, 07:57 AM
Originally posted by Annie Dog


lol why dont you email him the script?

now thats a plan.:cool:

i_dont_live
03-08-2004, 03:42 AM
[QUOTE] just two, let ugly dispense the funny, you go home [QUOTE]

im not trying to be funny. it was serious dream. i totally realise that Ugly here is the funniest netphorian alive. but i seriously had a dream...

so if you wanna come tell me what to think please feel free...

ProgressChrome
06-14-2004, 09:07 PM
bb-bump
just for fun

theZEITGEIST
06-15-2004, 03:20 AM
This is the funniest thread ever.

heres my two cents:

We open on an external shot of Virgin Records offices.Cut to MTV offices.Sounding over this is Billy's voice-over:

"These guys have done it to me.They made me do this to them.They welcomed me with opened arms but disgarded me like....like a rotten apple.It's payback time."

(X.Y.U. sample:"And in the eyes of a jackal i say ka-boom!)

At this point, the buildings explode.Cut to Billy, smiling.Suddenly a 100 foot Courtney crashes onto the street.Billy is stunned.Kung fu film style close ups all around.Billy says his magic word,"zero" and suddenly he grows 100 feet.

Anyone care to finish this 'Zilla style scenario?I cant be arsed.

Isle
06-15-2004, 04:42 AM
Originally posted by theZEITGEIST
This is the funniest thread ever.

heres my two cents:

We open on an external shot of Virgin Records offices.Cut to MTV offices.Sounding over this is Billy's voice-over:

"These guys have done it to me.They made me do this to them.They welcomed me with opened arms but disgarded me like....like a rotten apple.It's payback time."

(X.Y.U. sample:"And in the eyes of a jackal i say ka-boom!)

At this point, the buildings explode.Cut to Billy, smiling.Suddenly a 100 foot Courtney crashes onto the street.Billy is stunned.Kung fu film style close ups all around.Billy says his magic word,"zero" and suddenly he grows 100 feet.

Anyone care to finish this 'Zilla style scenario?I cant be arsed.

the way you wrote that made it sound super fucking cool. it goes from Fight Club style narrative to Power Rangers style battle sequence! rock d00d

i_dont_live
06-17-2004, 01:04 AM
holy motherfucking shit.

whichever Netphoria whore dug this thread up deserves a fucking award...

Mariner
06-19-2004, 02:39 PM
Originally posted by i_dont_live
holy motherfucking shit.

whichever Netphoria whore dug this thread up deserves a fucking award...

totally. it's nice to see a quality thread on the SP board for once. watch and learn kiddies.

oh, and holy fuck happy birthday, thread!

MMBKG
06-21-2004, 07:16 PM
Originally posted by Mariner


totally. it's nice to see a quality thread on the SP board for once. watch and learn kiddies.

oh, and holy fuck happy birthday, thread!

Whoa! This is an old goddamn thread!

happy b-day ::caek::

Ugly
06-26-2004, 02:23 AM
<B>FADE IN</B>

<B>EXT – DESERT ROAD – HIGH NOON</B>
<I>
We open on a parched dry desert highway. A tumbleweed rolls by and a lizard crawls into frame. The lizard stops in the middle of the highway and suns itself for a bit. All is quiet. Then a LOW WHINE is heard that gets rapidly higher. The lizard turns its head and it looks surprised … well as surprised as a lizard can look. And then the lizard is flatted by MOTOCYCLE TIRES.

We follow tracking along the Motorcycle tires and pan upward. Sitting on the bike is a grizzled, hard worn, JIMMY CHAMBERLIN. He’s wearing a muscle t-shirt, shorts and an ammo-bandolier across his chest with a shotgun strapped to his back. He has traffic-cop aviator sunglasses and a cigarette clenched in between his teeth. He looks rather badass.</I>

<B>JIMMY</B>
<I>(voice over)</I>
I am on the road, with one sole purpose. They tried to kill me, but they failed. They left me for dead and put a bullet in my brain but my heart just kept on beating. And now I’m out for revenge. I’m gonna track them down one by one and when I get to where I’m goin … I am gonna KILL BILL.

<B>TITLE CARD: EPISODE 3 – THE ROCKONING!</B>

<I>Jimmy is still, stoically, driving along the highway. A beat passes.</I>

<B>JIMMY</B>
<I>(voice over)</I>
He is mine . . . uh . . . Bill? Hey, this is the right script?
<I>(pause)</I>
No? Well who the hell gave me this one then? . . . Geez, I’m workin with a bunch of monkeys here.

<I>Jimmy is still driving along the highway with a determined expression on his face, not talking.</I>

<B>JIMMY</B>
<I>(voice-over, continuing)</I>
Well where’s the right script? Are we rolling? We’re rolling? What the fuck, gimmie the damn script….
<I>(a beat passes, we hear Jimmy take a drag off his cigarette)</I>
That the script? Ok, great.
<I>(clears his throat)</I>
I am on the road, with one sole purpose. They tried to kill me, but they failed. They left me for dead and put a bullet in—JESUS TAPDANCIN CHRIST, this is the same script!!! Oh yeah, real goddamn funny.

<I>Jimmy is still driving along the highway, but we hear some faint laughing on the voiceover track.</I>

<B>JIMMY</B>
<I>(voice-over, continuing)</I>
Hey, stop laughing! Lets try to act like professionals here people. I’m too rich for this shit. Now gimmie the right voiceover script. … Is this written on cocktail napkin?
<I>(Jimmy lets out a long sigh)</I>
Ok. . . It’s been five years since the attack on Chicago. The world is changed forever. But the freedom fighters are doing our . . . uh . . .fighting back.
<I>(muttering)</I>
Christ, is it too late to ask for a rewrite?

<I>Jimmy’s motorcycle pulls up to a beat-down shack. There is a passed out Mexican wearing a sombero slumped against the wall, asleep with a tequila bottle in his hand. Jimmy gets off his motorcycle and starts walking towards the passed-out Mexican.</I>

<B>JIMMY</B>
<I>(voice-over, continuing, back to normal)</I>
And now, after a long terrible terrible winding road, I’m arriving at my destination.

<I>Jimmy walks up to the passed-out Mexican and stands above him, looking down.</I>

<B>JIMMY</B>
<I>(voice-over)</I>
- I will find the Chosen One who will bring Balance to the Force and save us all.

<I>Jimmy looms above the passed out man. The pause is expectant. Then Jimmy kicks him in the shins.</I>

<B>JIMMY</B>
Hey, senor, wake up!

<B>MEXICAN</B>
<I>(waking up, rubbing his leg)</I>
Ow! What your problem, man?

<B>JIMMY</B>
<I>(ignoring his protest)</I>
I’m looking for a “Senorita CH”. You know her?

<B>MEXICAN</B>
The senorita inside the house, man. You deliverin’?

<I>Jimmy doesn’t answer and walks inside the door.</I>

<B>INT – SHACK – DAY</B>

<I>J.C. walks inside the run down shack. The place looks like a tornado has ripped through it. Clothes, furniture, burned out pipes are lying all over the place. No power, only sunlight coming through broken wood.</I>

<B>JIMMY</B>
<I>(looking around and calling out)</I>
Hel-

<I>That’s about all he gets out before a SHOTGUN BLAST blows a hole in the side of a wall right beside his head. He immediately dives for cover behind a couch.</I>

<B>JIMMY</B>
Jesus Christ, the Redcoats are coming! Don’t fucking shoot me!!

<B>WOMAN’S VOICE</B>
<I>(off screen)</I>
I ain’t payin you shit! You still owe me for that last one!

<B>JIMMY</B>
What the hell are you babbling about, woman?

<I>He looks above his couch just as another SHOTGUN BLAST explodes right beside his head. J.C. ducks back down and covers his hands above his head.</I>

<B>JIMMY</B>
Goddamnit, stop shooting at me!

<B>WOMAN’S VOICE</B>
<I>(off screen)</I>
No more freebies, now get the fuck out of my house!

<B>JIMMY</B>
OK! OK! Listen to me! I’m gonna stand up, very slowly, and don’t blow my head off. Its Jimmy, ok?!

<I>J.C. stands up. No more shotgun blasts are forthcoming. We see the shooter, holding a 12 gauge, hiding behind a bed for cover. </I>

<B>JIMMY</B>
Just don’t shoot me D’Arcy!

<I>She looks up from behind the bed. She has pasty white skin and a nose that has been honed to perfection by years of plastic surgery since ‘95. She’s wearing a cowboy and looking rather stoned. She is D’ARCY WRETZKY.

D’Arcy’s eyes focus on Jimmy and a smile creeps across her face.</I>

<B>D’ARCY</B>
<I>(slow and wasted)</I>
Hey Jimmy . . . when did you get here?

<B>JIMMY</B>
That how you greet all your guests? No wonder no one hangs out with you.

<B>D’ARCY</B>
No, its just that I. . . uh . . .

<I>She looks very confused, trying to remember what she was going to say through the cloudy haze of her memory.</I>

<B>D’ARCY</B>
. . . uhhhhh there’s some . . . pie . . . eaten . . . uh . . . selling. . .

<I>Her face brightens, she reaches for a crack pipe and takes a hit. Her eyes light up in excitement.</I>

<B>D’ARCY</B>
Hey Jimmy! When did you get here?

<B>JIMMY</B>
<I>(rolling his eyes)</I>
Well, good to see you’re doing better. Look, I thought you were gonna kick this habit of yours.

<B>D’ARCY</B>
I was but Cracky told me not too.

<B>JIMMY</B>
Uh, “Cracky”?

<I>D’Arcy points to an empty spot in the room.</I>

<B>D’ARCY</B>
Yeah, he’s over there.

<I>Jimmy looks in the corner, there’s nothing there except for some dust.

D’ARCY’S POV – we see who she’s talking about. CRACKY MCCRACKERSON, the flying, talking, animated crack pipe that only D’Arcy can see.</I>

<B>CRACKY </B>
Smoking me brings the happy!

<B>D’ARCY</B>
It sure does, Mr. McCrackerson!

<B>CRACKY</B>
I love you!

<B>D’ARCY</B>
I love you more!

<I>Jimmy just stares at D’Arcy who is, from his point of view, having an conversation with air.</I>

<B>JIMMY</B>
Look, I can see you’re busy. But I’ve busted a long way to come here for you. Have you heard what happened in Chicago?

<B>D’ARCY</B>
Did the Cubs lose?

<B>JIMMY</B>
Something aside from the obvious, please.

<B>D’ARCY</B>
I wouldn’t know. I sold my TV, my radio and my right kidney years ago for some paint thinner to huff on.

<B>JIMMY</B>
Well, some very bad things happened-
<I>(he turns to the camera and addresses the audience holding up copies of Ep. 2 – BACK TO THE METRO on DVD)</I>
Now available in a 4 disc Special Edition Extended Version re-re-released on DVD just a month before this movie came out so we can shamelessly rip you off! Thanks for the idea, Peter Jackson!
<I>(back to D’Arcy)</I>
- that changed it forever. Chicago, as we know it, is now a very different place . . .

<B>FLASHBACK – cue the DO-DO-DO sound from WAYNE’S WORLD. For the less intelligent members of the audience a title card that says “THIS IS A FLASHBACK, YOU IDIOT.” is on screen throughout.</B>

<B>EXT. A POST-APOCALYPTIC WASTELAND</B>

<I>Up with the scary music. Nuclear fire perpetually burns. Bodies and wreckage lie strewn about. Skulls litter the landscape. A bashed out sign that says “WELCOME TO CHICAGO” lies shattered on the ground, resting ontop of the corpse of a puppy. This is Hell on Earth, kids.

Then the camera pans out and we realize that the scene of post-apocalyptic destruction is actually just a painting hanging on a white wall. There is a note that’s attached to the side of the picture that says “WORK FOR US, OR THIS WILL HAPPEN!”

Pan out more and we realize we are actually inside a –</I>

<B>INT. WHITE BARRACKS – DAY</B>

<I>Everything has a cold and sterile feel to it. The beds are lined up in perfect order. We see people milling about, looking dejected and desperate. These are HUMAN SLAVES.

There is a sign on a door that says “TO UNDERGROUND SUGAR CAVES – WORK OR DIE”. The door slides open with a hiss and in walks A GIANT ANT GUARD.</I>

<B>GIANT ANT GUARD #1</B>
Mine Shift Alpha move out now!!

<I>The human slaves grab their pickaxes off the wall file out in order, looking hopeless as usual. Jimmy Chamberlin is among them.</I>

<B>JIMMY</B>
Another day, No dollars.

<I>The person walking beside him is our good Asian guitarist friend JAMES IHA.</I>

<B>JAMES</B>
Do you ever wonder why we have to mine underground for sugar?

<I>GIANT ANT GUARD #2 reaches over and zaps James with a cattle prod.</I>

<B>GIANT ANT GUARD #2</B>
Silence or die, slave!

<B>JAMES</B>
But I’m just questioning the plausibility of mining for sugar underground when it clearly comes from--

<I>ZAP! The Ant Guard gives James another lick from his cattle prod.</I>

<B>JAMES</B>
You know that’s getting really annoy-

<I>ZAP!</I>

<B>JAMES</B>
I’ll be good.

<B>INT. UNDERGROUND SUGAR CAVE - CATWALK</B>

<I>The slaves are drudging forward towards an elevator. James and Jimmy fall back in step to avoid the Ant Guard.</I>

<B>JAMES</B>
Every friggin week he shocks me with that thing. You think he’d get sick of it by now.

<B>JIMMY</B>
Is it just me, or are we missing someone?

<B>INT. ELEVATOR</B>

<I>The slaves are getting into a gigantic elevator. Jimmy and James move to the back. The gates slam close with a resounding BANG. The elevator jerks and begins to move downward.</I>

<B>JAMES</B>
Yeah, uh, he left on an early shift. He said he had to take care of something.

<B>JIMMY</B>
<I>(snorts in digust)</I>
Someone forgot to send him the memo that we’re slaves. He isn’t going to get a raise for overtime, y’know.

<B>INT. UNDERGROUND SUGAR CAVE</B>

<I>The elevator reaches the bottom and the group mills out. We get a good look at the sugar cave complex. Human slaves hit the walls with pickaxes to unearth the sweet sweet sugar. Ant Guards lord above them with whips, cattle prods and blasters to make them work faster. Jimmy and James move over to their prescribed spot and get to mindless work hitting the wall.</I>

<B> JAMES</B>
Well, that’s not exactly why he left early. He was going to do “it” today.

<I>Jimmy stops working and looks at James with disbelief.</I>

<B>JIMMY</B>
Shut up. He’s been talking about this for years. Doesn’t he realize how much shit we’ll get in?

<B>JAMES</B>
Yeah, well, YOU try changing his mind. Remember when he wanted to put “Sweet Sweet” on Siamese Dream and we told him it was a crappy song? He locked himself in a closet and cried for 2 days straight.

<B>INT – UNDERGROUND SUGARCAVE – ANOTHER SECTION</B>

<I>Slaves are slaving away, using pick-axes and chopping away at the walls. We see one BRITISH MAN, wearing a suit with an eyeglass, chip some sugar off the walls and knocks it into his teacup. He looks around suspiciously and takes a sip. Immediately a GIANT ANT GUARD whacks him on the back of the head with his blaster rifle.</I>

<B>GIANT ANT GUARD #3</B>
Hey buddy, where did you get that sugar?!

<B>BRITISH MAN</B>
(smugly)
I nipped it. The second you let your guard down. And I’d do it-

<I>The ANT GUARD gets annoyed with the guy’s rant and points his blaster riffle at the British Man and immediately vaporizes him.</I>

<B>BRITISH MAN</B>
(continuing)
—ARRRRGGGHHHH!!!

<I>The British Man disappears into a cloud of atoms. We see one black man look over in surprise. He is OUTKAST MEMBER #1</I>

<B>OUTKAST MEMBER #1</B>
<I>(indicating the GIANT ANT GUARD)</I>
My baby don’t mess around!

<B>OUTKAST MEMBER #2</B>
<I>(agreeing)</I>
Yes, I know ‘fo sure!

<I>The various members of musical group OUTKAST get back to work hammering away at the walls of the Sugar Cave. They start to swing away, rhythmically, like old slaves in the South picking cotton. OUTKAST MEMBER #1 leads them in their work.</I>

<B>OUTKAST MEMBER #1</B>
One, two, three-

<I>They all strike the wall at the same time with their pickaxes.</I>

<B>OUTKAST MEMBERS</B>
<I>(all)</I>
UH!

<I>They bring their pickaxes back to the ready position</I>

<B>OUTKAST MEMBER #1</B>
One, two, three-

<B>OUTKAST MEMBERS</B>
<I>(all, hitting the wall)</I>
UH!

<B>OUTKAST MEMBER #1</B>
One, two, three-

<B>OUTKAST MEMBERS</B>
<I>(all, hitting the wall)</I>
UH!

<I>One of the members of Outkast gets his pickaxe stuck in the wall. He pulls on it in frustration. It won’t budge.</I>

<B>OUTKAST MEMBER #2</B>
<I>(calling for help)</I>
Hey ya! Hey ya!

<I>Other members of Outkast stand around and offer helpful advice on how to dislodge his axe from the wall.</I>

<B>OUTKAST MEMBER #1</B>
Shake it! Shake it! Sh-Sh-Shake it!

<B>OUTKAST MEMBER #2</B>
<I>(pulling on the axe)</I>
Uh-oh!

<B>OUTKAST MEMBER #1</B>
Shake it like a Polaroid picture!

<I>POP, the axe comes out of the wall! Immediately a well of SWEET SUGAR comes pouring out of the wall like an old-style oil slick. The members of OUTKAST throw their axes away and jump around for joy. They babble and point at the flowing sugar excitedly.</I>

<B>OUTKAST MEMBERS</B>
<I>(all, indicating the sugar)</I>
Hey ya! Hey ya! Hey ya!

<B>OUTKAST MEMBER #2</B>
Yes, I know fo sure!

<B>OUTKAST MEMBERS</B>
Hey ya! Hey ya!

<I>We hear a LOW WHISTLE, like in an old Wile-E-Cyotee cartoon when he’s falling off a cliff. It gets louder and louder. One of the members of OutKast looks up in confusion.</I>

<I>POV – high and falling in fast on OUTKAST MEMBERS’ face.</I>

<B>OUTKAST MEMBER #1</B>
<I>(confused)</I>
Hey . . . ya?

<I>SPLAT!! All of the members of Outkast are CRUSHED UNDERNEATH A GIANT BOULDER. Dust flies up everywhere. The camera slowly CRANES UP the Mine Wall to the top of the cliff overlooking where Outkast once stood.

Standing there triumphantly, with a stick in his hand he used for leverage to knock the boulder over and crush Outkast, is BILLY CORGAN</I>

<B>BILLY</B>
<I>(yelling down)</I>
THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR HAVING A DOUBLE-ALBUM THAT WON A GRAMMY FOR “ALBUM OF THE YEAR”, YOU FUCKERS!!!

<I>Billy spits over the edge of the cliff in contempt. He is immediately seized by a pair of GIANT ANT GUARDS who drag him away.</I>

-----

There's actually alot more. But I haven't worked on it in over a month. I'll try to have it finished by the end of July at least.

Boycott Graceland
06-26-2004, 04:23 AM
gorgeous.

mellon_collie
11-22-2004, 01:15 AM
gigantic buuuuuuuuuuuump :D

Rockin' Cherub
11-22-2004, 09:39 AM
:rofl: what the hell

885lgt
11-22-2004, 09:07 PM
Originally posted by Nimrod's Son
Actually I think your script would work, but it would be better is Billy plays a killer robot driving instructor who travels back in time for some reason whose best friend is a talking pie. Or maybe you don't be a fag and steal simpsons stuff & act like it should be pumpkins stuff

PUMPKINS

|
|
|
|
|_
simpsons, see how much higher the pumpkins are thats because they are 7974872547346534795613932197562`975237484627481572 938461342621395623175613479561974562`3849726439756 32497653479856439578634750236586347985634875643758 02435763247562973294652945623407574879026436483267 61988734513767785456123434513495787234875267492852 36423498697849782375683295978729437852656349785986 21354762913957821639420193798645612397417812347294 86127984521634e239145921834523482374`2174582314213 431256312652356923579034260074637 times fucking better

mellon_collie
11-22-2004, 10:51 PM
Originally posted by 885lgt
Or maybe you don't be a fag and steal simpsons stuff & act like it should be pumpkins stuff

PUMPKINS

|
|
|
|
|_
simpsons, see how much higher the pumpkins are thats because they are 7974872547346534795613932197562`975237484627481572 938461342621395623175613479561974562`3849726439756 32497653479856439578634750236586347985634875643758 02435763247562973294652945623407574879026436483267 61988734513767785456123434513495787234875267492852 36423498697849782375683295978729437852656349785986 21354762913957821639420193798645612397417812347294 86127984521634e239145921834523482374`2174582314213 431256312652356923579034260074637 times fucking better


...:eek:

so...how bout those simpsons? I hear they're-

oh wait... :erm

885lgt
11-23-2004, 01:05 AM
the simpsons suck now, it's so overplayed, nothing new every comes around in that show, there are like 30 different basic plots and the rest are just redetailed versions, I use to love the simpsons but they just stopped trying. turned the show to shit I think people only watch them because they have been for the last 20 yrs or however long they've been around, anywho





FUCK BUSH

Sonic Johnny
11-23-2004, 05:01 AM
:rofl:
:rofl:
:rofl:
:rofl:

everything about this thread is great

:rofl:
:rofl:

Nimrod's Son
11-23-2004, 07:06 AM
Originally posted by 885lgt
the simpsons suck now, it's so overplayed, nothing new every comes around in that show, there are like 30 different basic plots and the rest are just redetailed versions, I use to love the simpsons but they just stopped trying. turned the show to shit I think people only watch them because they have been for the last 20 yrs or however long they've been around, anywho





FUCK BUSH
So, you're trying to convince me that the Simpsons are better than the Pumpkins? I dunno if I buy that.

Also, thanks for your non sequitor political statement

Ugly
11-23-2004, 09:40 PM
Originally posted by Ugly

There's actually alot more. But I haven't worked on it in over a month. I'll try to have it finished by the end of July at least.

Yah, uh, about that. I'm stuck on the Netphoria/Pumpkins vs. Paz/Uraki-Hai/Army Ants climatic 3rd act battle amgonst the snowy ruins of Chicago.

Also its way too long right now. Maybe 2005.

EXTRAVABONSOR
11-23-2004, 09:54 PM
Originally posted by 885lgt

FUCK BUSH WOOOOOOO!

mellon_collie
11-23-2004, 10:39 PM
Originally posted by Ugly


Yah, uh, about that. I'm stuck on the Netphoria/Pumpkins vs. Paz/Uraki-Hai/Army Ants climatic 3rd act battle amgonst the snowy ruins of Chicago.

Also its way too long right now. Maybe 2005.

oh god that sounds GREAT :eek:

Voice Implodes
11-24-2004, 09:51 AM
but where's the dog with the shifty eyes?

Isle
11-24-2004, 10:07 AM
Originally posted by Voice Implodes
but where's the dog with the shifty eyes?

totally

kitkat21
11-24-2004, 11:22 AM
BEST THREAD EVER!
Why haven't there been more threads like this?
Ah, this made my morning. Came home from drinking and crashing at a friends, signed on, and wah-lah-wonderfulness! *wipes eyes from laughing*
:D

Ugly
11-24-2004, 10:21 PM
Originally posted by Voice Implodes
but where's the dog with the shifty eyes?

Good call, I'll throw that in just for you, buddy.

Ugly
05-01-2005, 02:54 AM
Originally posted by Ugly

Also its way too long right now. Maybe 2005.

Change that to 2006. I'm the Warren Eliis of Netphoria.

Mariner
05-01-2005, 01:09 PM
Originally posted by Ugly


Change that to 2006. I'm the Axle Rose of Netphoria.

GlasgowKiss
05-01-2005, 01:10 PM
Has anyone mentioned getting a few netphorians together with a camcorder to record these?

I cant be arsed reading the thread.

chris_bakewell
05-01-2005, 01:11 PM
Originally posted by GlasgowKiss
Has anyone mentioned getting a few netphorians together with a camcorder to record these?

I cant be arsed reading the thread.

I'll be James Iha.

Isle
05-01-2005, 02:24 PM
Originally posted by chris_bakewell


I'll be James Iha.


hahaha. i'll be bolly. if i shave my head/wear a bald cap i might look like him.

GlasgowKiss
05-01-2005, 02:48 PM
Originally posted by chris_bakewell


I'll be James Iha.

Your hair isnt anything like James Iha's. Id play Iha but id be better as Jimmy.

Isle
05-01-2005, 04:15 PM
Originally posted by GlasgowKiss


Your hair isnt anything like James Iha's. Id play Iha but id be better as Jimmy.

have you seen a photo of chris bakwell, craig? no porkies

Cool As Ice Cream
05-01-2005, 05:47 PM
Originally posted by Isle

have you seen a photo of chris bakwell, craig? no porkies DUDE UR AVITAR IS SUPER AWESOME
WHO IS IT?

Isle
05-01-2005, 06:20 PM
Originally posted by CoolAsIceCream
DUDE UR AVITAR IS SUPER AWESOME
WHO IS IT?

OMG WHO IS IT?! GOOD SONG!!1bl

MMBKG
05-02-2005, 01:14 AM
This remains the greatest Netphoria thread ever.

Ugly's scripts are just phenominal. Good work!