View Full Version : So I did a first aid course


vixnix
06-09-2014, 03:48 AM
And I learned that if you are having a heart attack, you develop a huge urge to poop. This is because your body is beginning to shut down so it flushes the bowels, bladder and stomach. Once you're there, the straining of the act if pooping usually finishes you off and many heart attack victims die on the toilet.

So if you think it's happening my advice is, sit tight and crap your pants because it's better than dying on the loo.

This information brought to you courtesy of Unloveable Fat Pieces of Rubbish Public Service Announcements.

Cool As Ice Cream
06-09-2014, 05:21 AM
<img src="http://forums.netphoria.org/customavatars/avatar27459_3.gif" width="100%">

scottytheoneand
06-09-2014, 09:53 AM
my grandfather died "at the loo"


<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/f49A89Yqhlw" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

The exploding boy
06-09-2014, 09:57 AM
i'm more likely to pop a vein in my head shitting.


And seriously this is netphoria where no word is censored. Say shit. Hell, say defecate. Say have a bowel movememt. Just please anyone don't say the p word.

Trotskilicious
06-09-2014, 10:15 AM
****, john ******, mike *****, samantha *******-*****, *******

Trotskilicious
06-09-2014, 10:18 AM
jhon bosnor mkie gdady samantha galilng-gdady

also!

******** salas

scottytheoneand
06-09-2014, 10:20 AM
i hope i die in front of a huge crowd of people who aren't expecting it.

I'm Hardcore
06-09-2014, 10:22 AM
jhon bosnor mkie gdady samantha galilng-gdady

also!

******** salas

really, why?

Trotskilicious
06-09-2014, 10:23 AM
lot of these people have a lot of shame about having posted here i guess

i deleted ******** from my FB after she reposted the bill corgan kitty kats some 3 days after i did ackting like she ain't never seen it before and i'm like oh so you just put people like me on ignore cuz you can't delete me like your BFFs Kimmy and Bardy did

mostly women are embarrassed about their netphorian history, they get into a professional career and they decide that the thing they did was terrible and all of us are monsters and ultimately they're pretty much right

I'm Hardcore
06-09-2014, 10:26 AM
times like these

The exploding boy
06-09-2014, 10:40 AM
yeah ive noticed before includ e is censored.

Thats not very inclusive

Trotskilicious
06-09-2014, 11:21 AM
i mean why would you want to be friends with sad people they just bring you down and besides its their own fault they just need to be themselves and stay positive and things will work out

D.
06-09-2014, 11:21 AM
lot of these people have a lot of shame about having posted here i guess

i deleted ******** from my FB after she reposted the bill corgan kitty kats some 3 days after i did ackting like she ain't never seen it before and i'm like oh so you just put people like me on ignore cuz you can't delete me like your BFFs Kimmy and Bardy did

Harsh! If it makes you feel better, Kimmy never even accepted my request!! Good enough reason though; we weren't tight or anything.

I'll never deny my net4 crew! Good thing I'll never have a career to worry about!!

Trotskilicious
06-09-2014, 11:22 AM
even ammy deleted me which i can't fucking understand at all, not only did we hang out in chicago she came to San Antonio and we hung out there

I GUESS THAT CONNECTION ISN'T WORTH HAVING SINCE YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT SMASHING PUMPKINS ANYMORE

seriously what the fuck is wrong with people i don't get it

it's like they think that it's okay just to ditch people they were friends with and that's just the way it goes. why is that okay?

scottytheoneand
06-09-2014, 11:25 AM
because people are horrible


i had an argument with my wife recently. I can't remember what prompted it, but for whatever reason I stated that the majority of people on earth are horrible and that's a big part of why so many things are so awful in the world. She has the opposite opinion.

I think it was in regards to our neighbors who won't let their children play outside anymore because we have "vicious pit bulls on our property"

D.
06-09-2014, 11:28 AM
I guess people grow apart and without a regular IRL relationship sometimes people trim their online friends to just people they really connect with. I get it.

Sometimes Sarah will post some funny off the wall shit on an otherwise innocuous FB post of mine and I cringelaugh when she interacts with my IRL friends/family. I wouldn't change it because as lame as it sounds net4 has been influential in my real life.

Trotskilicious
06-09-2014, 11:29 AM
the only time i had crossover was when kristen called my offline friend a bitch and so i just deleted kristens dumb ass

Trotskilicious
06-09-2014, 11:29 AM
"Who the fuck is Kristen Jones and why is she calling me a bitch?"

immortal words

D.
06-09-2014, 11:30 AM
I wish I could have read that; I remember you mentioning it when it happened.

Trotskilicious
06-09-2014, 11:31 AM
i deleted vixnix because she started trolling her own friends

hnibos
06-09-2014, 02:32 PM
it's like they think that it's okay just to ditch people they were friends with and that's just the way it goes. why is that okay?

You're only as strong as your weakest link so just fuck off bro

scottytheoneand
06-09-2014, 02:37 PM
You can adjust settings so that you don't have to view someone's every Facebook post. Out of all my friends I think I only have a quarter of them showing in my FB feed.

hnibos
06-09-2014, 02:45 PM
Yeah I've had to do that to a lot of people, including my brother. I rarely delete anyone though unless I see something overly racist, sexist, or homophobic. When I was younger I would delete anyone making some dumb judeo-christian crap post but now I'm more tolerant of it. Whatever.

Trotskilicious
06-09-2014, 03:00 PM
i mean if you're going to choose to be unsuccessful and unhappy there's just no time for you

Trotskilicious
06-09-2014, 03:01 PM
gotta keep people with a negative aura out of my life

they need to help themselves

the only way to do that is to ditch them, then they'll learn.

the best thing for the sad is to abandon them, that way they'll have faith in humanity at some point. makes perfect sense.

The exploding boy
06-09-2014, 04:00 PM
pretty much why i've deliberately decided not to have friends.

I do think though that in life you've kinda got to look out for yourself and removing negative influences in your life is probably the way to go.

That being said having a negative attitude and having a negative influence are not the same thing. But if someone is making your life worse even by a small amount and you don't owe them anything and they don't owe you anything, probably should ditch them.

Trotskilicious
06-09-2014, 04:06 PM
i dunno if making someone's life worse is just going "man i'm kinda sad, you know? is that okay?"

"NO! HOLY SHIT! I'M TRYING NOT TO THINK OF ALL THE SAD AND SCARY SHIT IN MY LIFE ALL THE TIME I HAVE THIS UNBELIEVABLE LEVEL OF DENIAL AND SHIT GOING ON HERE I CAN'T DEAL WITH YOU ACTUALLY SAYING THIS SHIT OUT LOUD GET AWAY FROM ME SAD BOY."

pretty much everyone in my life ditches me and the ultimate reason is because i'm sad OH NO I'M NOT SUPER FUCKING HAPPY ALL THE GODDAMN TIME HEAVENS TO BETSY

i don't lie to people
i don't steal from them
i'm kind of awkward
and a little sad
definitely someone to abandon
keep negative people out of your life
you have to choose to be happy

scottytheoneand
06-09-2014, 04:16 PM
the world belongs to self centered extroverts. like the white people who walk around with "Life is Good" logo'd clothing. if you're an introvert or you don't walk around with a grin on your face, people don't even look at you.


Fixed




Margin

D.
06-09-2014, 04:36 PM
Sad people don't bother me but it is hard for me to be around supppper quiet people. I get that some people are introverts especially in groups though.

Trotskilicious
06-09-2014, 05:07 PM
the world belongs to self centered introverts. like the white people who walk around with "Life is Good" logo'd clothing.

you mean extroverts right

Trotskilicious
06-09-2014, 05:08 PM
Sad people don't bother me but it is hard for me to be around supppper quiet people. I get that some people are introverts especially in groups though.

i'm not quiet but if you like someone making cynical jokes, being honest about what they like and how they feel and other such "negative" behavior then i'm your n***a

Trotskilicious
06-09-2014, 05:09 PM
if you were just some guy i wouldn't be nearly as ugly as VW as i am on this board and because i know you

but yeah i'd still be like "i don't like that band" and people are like WTF WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM

what, jesus, i don't like that band, is that okay?

Trotskilicious
06-09-2014, 05:09 PM
WHAT DO YOU LIKE, BRENDAN

reprise85
06-09-2014, 05:14 PM
trots deleted me on facebook because he thought i told rottenugly his facebook info but i was never even friends with RU on there and the info was actually public

Trotskilicious
06-09-2014, 05:17 PM
you were friends with him doe

D.
06-09-2014, 06:11 PM
i'm not quiet but if you like someone making cynical jokes, being honest about what they like and how they feel and other such "negative" behavior then i'm your n***a

Naw I think we'd get along. Cynical people are yins to my yang.

Trotskilicious
06-09-2014, 06:14 PM
LIKE THE BIGGEST THING IS JUST TO LAUGH WHEN I SAY SHIT LIKE THAT JESUS IT'S NOT HARD GOD DAMN YOU THINK LOUIS CK IS FUCKIN HILARIOUS AND SHIT

Trotskilicious
06-09-2014, 06:15 PM
Louis CK the guy who was like "Hey what if I just died? Wouldn't that be nice?"

D.
06-09-2014, 07:00 PM
Trots who are you yelling at????!!!!!

Fashion is like

fascism man

scottytheoneand
06-09-2014, 07:18 PM
you mean extroverts right

Lol. Typing on my phone. It somehow autocorrectes me.

The exploding boy
06-09-2014, 08:26 PM
if you were just some guy i wouldn't be nearly as ugly as VW as i am on this board and because i know you

but yeah i'd still be like "i don't like that band" and people are like WTF WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM

what, jesus, i don't like that band, is that okay?


Fucking tell me about it.

The exploding boy
06-09-2014, 08:36 PM
I think some people are insecure though, if you dont like something they like they feel rejected or judged. like think you think they should be ashamed for liking it (SOME things i think they should be but not all, if i felt one had to be ashamed for liking most of the stuff i don't then i'd feel everyone needs to be ashamed all the time). But yeah like if you tell me the bands i listen to or movies i like are shit, so fucking what. I'm aware some people would think that. It doesn't throw my world upside down, Its not like you're making me question my tastes or striking deep at the core of my identity.

vixnix
06-09-2014, 09:44 PM
Trots deleted me after he posted "you are a fat unloveable piece of garbage"on a pic I was tagged in :(

D.
06-10-2014, 12:05 AM
:eek:

DRAMA

reprise85
06-10-2014, 02:23 AM
you were friends with him doe

i was sympathetic towards him and tried to be a positive influence or whatever. but it's pretty hard to be friends with a 14 year old. we were never friends on facebook though admittedly if he had asked to be i probably would have accepted.

he did deserve to be banned and i was all for that as soon as he posted that pic and started being super weird.

Shallowed
06-10-2014, 03:42 AM
Lol. Typing on my phone. It somehow autocorrectes me.

Even your phone is conditioned to think that introverts don't exist, only extroverts

Cool As Ice Cream
06-10-2014, 03:43 AM
he did deserve to be banned and i was all for that as soon as he posted that pic and started being super weird.

what pic did he post? why was he banned? i missed it. or i forgot.

D.
06-10-2014, 09:26 AM
He posted pics of Trots and was being a nusience .

Cool As Ice Cream
06-10-2014, 10:21 AM
he didn't bother me
oh well

Trotskilicious
06-10-2014, 10:55 AM
Trots deleted me after he posted "you are a fat unloveable piece of garbage"on a pic I was tagged in :(

stop making shit up

i deleted you after you started trolling your own friends

D.
06-10-2014, 11:49 AM
Can you adequately describe this trolling?

Trotskilicious
06-10-2014, 12:07 PM
she was doing exactly what she does here, the kind of vague gender and race baiting that she specializes in

D.
06-10-2014, 12:19 PM
Would you say she's the master baiter?

Ol' Couch Ass
06-10-2014, 05:23 PM
^ What a cunning linguist. :beatup:

Ol' Couch Ass
06-10-2014, 05:33 PM
But seriously, people often do shit themselves just prior to expiring especially if they are suffering a heart attack or ruptured thoracic aneurysm or dissection. That "I have to take a shit feeling" will oft cause a vagal response dropping heart rate and thus blood pressure. In a patient who is already hemodynamically unstable, this rapid blood pressure drop frequently throws the patient into a non-perfusing tachyarrhythmia from which they never recover.

I have personally witnessed at least 3-4 people whose last words were some variation of "I have to take a shit!" or "I need to use a bedpan!" Those details are usually kept from surviving family members.

vixnix
06-10-2014, 06:11 PM
she was doing exactly what she does here, the kind of vague gender and race baiting that she specializes in

What???? I wish I could remember this...would have been one of my most interesting moments as a Facebook user ...