View Full Version : update on me


silent1
01-17-2010, 12:18 PM
since i know ur all so interested. u will be happy to know i stopped fucking my ex wife. i moved on to nailing her friends. she wasnt thrilled about that. but that got old too so i started looking for a gf.

pause.

b4 i get to that i would like to mention that my house was robbed 6 times recently...long story.
also i quit my courier job for fear of getting caught embezzling money. so i started working at a dollar store where i banged the manager within the first week...then proceeded to move on to her friend the cashier.
needless to say i was fired soon after that.
um...its been so long i forgot where i left off with you guys.
dated a crackhead whore for a minute until she stole my car for a day and left me with her kids. also she sold me fake pills which was the straw that broke the camel's back.

so a few months ago i took my "best friend" to a court date downtown. he ended up in jail so i proceeded to pick up his gf and headed off to the bar. u can see where this is heading. sexy time.
to be cont.

Mo
01-17-2010, 12:22 PM
I have eight sexually transmissible diseases...

hnibos
01-17-2010, 12:23 PM
my life is quite unsatisfying...

silent1
01-17-2010, 12:24 PM
well in a nutshell he got out a week later and threatened to kill me. blah blah blah.
we r still together tho. she kicked him out and i moved in and things are actually looking up for once...besides the fact that i'm jobless and have no vehicle. did i mention she's a stripper?

detroit what!?
lol.

silent1
01-17-2010, 12:25 PM
I have eight sexually transmissible diseases...

none of them are fake

silent1
01-17-2010, 12:30 PM
my life is quite unsatisfying...

don't act like you're not impressed lord hypnos.

hnibos
01-17-2010, 12:31 PM
i feel bad for you

silent1
01-17-2010, 12:32 PM
send me money

hnibos
01-17-2010, 12:33 PM
your stripper gf will just steal it from you

silent1
01-17-2010, 12:35 PM
lol. no. she's actually really nice. we had butt sex last night.

hnibos
01-17-2010, 12:35 PM
sounds like a keeper, i guess

silent1
01-17-2010, 12:39 PM
indeed. she doesn't cook but i prefer my own cooking anyway. she has ocd tho and keeps the house in perfect condition. we make a good team. <3

silent1
01-17-2010, 12:41 PM
also i still like pizzza.

sickbadthing
01-17-2010, 12:44 PM
silent1, have you ever just considered on a whim to start a book club to discuss your favorite oprah book club books?

silent1
01-17-2010, 12:49 PM
silent1, have you ever just considered on a whim to start a book club to discuss your favorite oprah book club books?

can't say that i have. i can honestly only think of 2 of them. :think:

silent1
01-17-2010, 12:52 PM
those being a million little pieces and the secret.

Dogfighter28
01-17-2010, 01:16 PM
http://www.newsgroper.com/files/post_images/americanpsycho2.jpg

Future Boy
01-17-2010, 02:09 PM
wait, you were married?

ATS
01-17-2010, 05:35 PM
it's good to hear you don't have any kids yet

wHATcOLOR
01-17-2010, 05:48 PM
have you seen avatar?

silent1
01-17-2010, 06:12 PM
wait, you were married?

yes for 5 years...its all in netphorian history...believe me.

silent1
01-17-2010, 06:15 PM
it's good to hear you don't have any kids yet

actually i do. lives in az. never seen her. kinda why im divorced now. besides, no one gives a shit what you think anyway.
kill yourself.

silent1
01-17-2010, 06:16 PM
have you seen avatar?

no. and i have no desire to.

silent1
01-17-2010, 06:19 PM
http://www.newsgroper.com/files/post_images/americanpsycho2.jpg

this man gets me. two thumbs up.

Eulogy
01-17-2010, 06:30 PM
actually i do. lives in az. never seen her. kinda why im divorced now. besides, no one gives a shit what you think anyway.
kill yourself.

man who could have seen that coming

Fattening Ass
01-17-2010, 06:32 PM
what was that about butt sex

silent1
01-17-2010, 06:37 PM
oh. i had some last night and was assured there would be a repeat tonight. i enjoy it.

Toby
01-17-2010, 06:44 PM
good to see u kept the crunk alive

silent1
01-17-2010, 06:51 PM
WHOOP WHOOP!

barden
01-17-2010, 07:32 PM
silent1 i've been here longer than you but cant remember much about you. I thought you were a girl at first, probably confused with obscured01 or some shit.

But you sound like you'll be on Judge Mathis soon, before heading back home to the trailer park for some more buttsex with your best friends ex girlfriend / stripper. Maybe your estranged ex will sue you for child support on the kid you've never seen. Since you dont have a job or a car (must have flogged it again after getting it back from that crack whore, probably for crack, or some 'legit' pills) she's probably out of luck and has given up on you being any source of stablity or income for the little evolved ejaculation. Shoulda put that one in the butt too.

Man I am impressed, you're right.

barden
01-17-2010, 07:34 PM
i actually remember some interaction with you before. But I dont think your story counts as part of netphorian history.

I liked the bit when the stripper kicked her ex out and moved you in, to return buttsex favours for nourishment and accomodation.
You're a real man.

hnibos
01-17-2010, 07:35 PM
barden to the rescue, this is shocking

barden
01-17-2010, 07:37 PM
http://forums.netphoria.org/general-chat-message-board/166143-my-life-story-pale-princess.html#post3471296

barden
01-17-2010, 07:38 PM
this man gets me. two thumbs up.

this man had a job.
So he probably didn't really get you.

barden
01-17-2010, 07:39 PM
<img src="http://forums.netphoria.org/attachments/general-chat-message-board/33606d1239827248-pic-post-you-right-now-nsfw-revival-ecp_00012.jpg">

all these colours, musta been tripping balls here. The colours remind me of the buttons on a guitar hero.

Order 66
01-17-2010, 07:42 PM
He looks really cool

barden
01-17-2010, 07:45 PM
Here's some gold right here:
so i slam the rest of my pint of 100 proof hot damn and get behind the wheel for a little cross country road trip. i make it to somewhere in illinois before i have to pass out. i wake up a couple hours later and drive straight through the rest of the way. all in all it took about 35 hours. i pull up to her house and she puts her dog in my car and proceeds to follow me back to detroit.

BEST SEX EVAR!
this bitch had the bomb pussy yo! and she liked it rough. choking her until she nearly passed out, asking me to smack her in the face, fighting me off like she didn't want it so it was like i was raping her, the hardest anal pounding, and she would always ask me to cum in one of her orifices. (mouth is my fav ladies) and she always swallowed.

so obviously she got pregnant pretty quick. she wasn't on the pill and she made her husband of all people use a condom so he could last longer than 5 seconds which made me laugh.

her family is tripping and she's all depressed so i tell her to go home.


Lolol, she made the dog drive with him in his car! Haha.

barden
01-17-2010, 07:48 PM
man, i was probably being sarcastic before, but reading this guys life story (for pale princess - who might have got involved in some xbox action as well) is pretty inspiring.

oh did i mention that she drank my blood?


Silent1, I dont think I can fully judge you until you provide some pictures of all these hot bitches you're having anal sex with.

silent1
01-17-2010, 08:50 PM
lol. glad to see u haven't changed. my camera got stolen so no more pics. also i cut my hair so i dont look 12 anymore. and i NEVER lie about buttsex...or anything really. never been good at it. thanks for pulling up the story tho. saves me the hassle.

silent1
01-17-2010, 09:01 PM
and i'm sure u could just look up these hoes on myspace or something but i'm really only into humiliating myself and anonymous people online. no real people.

Gish08
01-17-2010, 09:06 PM
What the fuck is this shit?

wHATcOLOR
01-17-2010, 09:15 PM
netphorian most likely to be murdered: silent1

silent1
01-17-2010, 09:16 PM
REALLY???? that's awesome! i love you guys too.

Esty
01-17-2010, 09:26 PM
How's the stupid cunt stacycrazy doing?

Dogfighter28
01-17-2010, 11:08 PM
I hope my tier is above silent1

silent1
01-18-2010, 01:55 PM
How's the stupid cunt stacycrazy doing?

idk. for all i know she's dead in an alley somewhere.

Elvis The Fat Years
01-18-2010, 02:07 PM
sounds like you're living the dream.

silent1
01-18-2010, 02:13 PM
most definitely. i never remember my dreams though. but if i did i would imagine they would be similar but with more death.

barden
01-18-2010, 02:14 PM
camera got stolen too eh.

silent1
01-18-2010, 02:23 PM
camera got stolen too eh.

yep. psp, wii, dsi, 360, thousands of dollars worth of accessories and games, about 500 cds and dvds, my dead grandfather's collectible coins, 3000 dollar stereo (which they can't use because they left the remote) and god knows what else. the worst part is i know who did it. we grew up together. i let him, his wife and his 3 kids stay with me when they lost their trailer. fucking vicodin and crack man, it'll make you steal from your own family and friends...apparently.

barden
01-18-2010, 02:27 PM
Was that guy with all your stuff big into crack? perhaps a dealer?

silent1
01-18-2010, 02:31 PM
Was that guy with all your stuff big into crack? perhaps a dealer?

lmao. definitely not a dealer. just a head. he's far too dumb to sell drugs for money. at any rate i caught him in my house last time and called the pigs. he's in jail for 1st degree felony home invasion. i go to court wednesday.

wHATcOLOR
01-18-2010, 03:45 PM
no. and i have no desire to.


well then you're a fucking punk!!

barden
01-18-2010, 03:49 PM
lmao. definitely not a dealer. just a head. he's far too dumb to sell drugs for money. at any rate i caught him in my house last time and called the pigs. he's in jail for 1st degree felony home invasion. i go to court wednesday.

are you smart enough to sell drugs for money? Also, is this the guy who previously occupied the stripper during her off hours? And was she an accompice in the crime?
forgive i am african my english sometimes takes time.

cocksure
01-18-2010, 04:56 PM
silent1's method of coping with the future seems to be denying its existence

cocksure
01-18-2010, 04:57 PM
i shall look further into this theory of "not giving a shit"

Gossamer
01-18-2010, 05:47 PM
hey, whatever makes you happy right?

Shallowed
01-18-2010, 05:47 PM
yep. psp, wii, dsi, 360, thousands of dollars worth of accessories and games, about 500 cds and dvds, my dead grandfather's collectible coins, 3000 dollar stereo (which they can't use because they left the remote) and god knows what else. the worst part is i know who did it. we grew up together. i let him, his wife and his 3 kids stay with me when they lost their trailer. fucking vicodin and crack man, it'll make you steal from your own family and friends...apparently.

You should have killed him.

silent1
01-18-2010, 06:35 PM
are you smart enough to sell drugs for money? Also, is this the guy who previously occupied the stripper during her off hours? And was she an accompice in the crime?
forgive i am african my english sometimes takes time.

yes, no, no she was with me the whole time and i forgive you.

Mo
01-18-2010, 06:37 PM
I'll give you ten bucks and a six-pack for the movie rights to your life story.

silent1
01-18-2010, 06:39 PM
You should have killed him.

thought about it but honestly that's giving him what he wants. i figured making him live life without crack would be worse punishment. also i'm pretty sure he'll get raped in prison.

silent1
01-18-2010, 06:41 PM
I'll give you ten bucks and a six-pack for the movie rights to your life story.

LOL! werd. i drink michelob light by the way.

Mo
01-18-2010, 06:43 PM
Deal. I'll have my people contact you ASAP.

waltermcphilp
01-18-2010, 07:38 PM
I wanna be you when I grow up.

barden
01-18-2010, 07:47 PM
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/AZAdA9d4jLI&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/AZAdA9d4jLI&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
i wanna be that guy when i grow up.

Shallowed
01-18-2010, 08:15 PM
Shiiit man, that was just like a movie.

ATS
01-18-2010, 11:06 PM
i bet the guy who stole his stuff is black

Ol' Couch Ass
01-19-2010, 01:49 PM
LOL! werd. i drink michelob light by the way.

This is probably the most disgusting thing in this sordid thread.

ohnoitsbonnie
01-19-2010, 11:29 PM
Why do you put yourself into situations like this

silent1
01-20-2010, 02:32 PM
Why do you put yourself into situations like this

meh...drama just follows me around. it's not like i'm deliberately attempting to ruin my life. if there's any beautiful, rich, not crazy women out there who would like to save me feel free. i won't complain.


also, he's not black.

ohnoitsbonnie
01-20-2010, 04:41 PM
I didn't think he was

Eulogy
01-20-2010, 05:03 PM
meh...drama just follows me around. it's not like i'm deliberately attempting to ruin my life.

Right, of course. You've made all the right decisions. Drama just won't let you succeed.

silent1
01-20-2010, 07:04 PM
Right, of course. You've made all the right decisions. Drama just won't let you succeed.

i never said i did. i know i know it's MY fault my house got broken into and robbed. i should have just not got burglarized. what an idiot i've been. i see the light now. i'm gonna start going to church everyday, become celibate, and eat tofu. that will make everything right.

Eulogy
01-20-2010, 07:05 PM
i was referring more to your life in general. but perhaps you shouldn't think too much about that.

silent1
01-20-2010, 07:12 PM
i try not to. but i figured it's entertaining nonetheless. and honestly i can't change who i am. masochism is in my blood i guess. even if i had everything i wanted i'd still find a way to fuck it up. not everyone can be as perfect as you eulogy. yin and yang. the world needs people like me...ok maybe not NEEDS but it's the way of the universe my son.

Eulogy
01-20-2010, 07:18 PM
honestly i can't change who i am. masochism is in my blood i guess. .

What a complete crock of shit

silent1
01-20-2010, 07:24 PM
lol. ur impossible to satisfy. i've spent the last 8 or so years just trying to live up to your expectations. i've come to realize that you're just jealous. i still love you though.

Eulogy
01-20-2010, 07:25 PM
um

ok

silent1
01-20-2010, 07:30 PM
YES! FINALLY! I'VE WON! THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!





on a side note 5 more posts til 7000.
this is my TRUE goal in life and i've almost achieved it.
let's hope i don't get struck by lightning before then.

Eulogy
01-20-2010, 07:39 PM
YES! FINALLY! I'VE WON! THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!







Oh, no, no. You haven't.

silent1
01-20-2010, 07:44 PM
oh....PISS! well at least i got to reply to your post bringing me one step closer to my ultimate goal. thank you. you've been a good friend and i'd be happy to shave your pubes...just let me know.

exactlythesame
01-20-2010, 07:45 PM
god this thread is getting even more sad and creepy every time silent posts

silent1
01-20-2010, 07:52 PM
god this thread is getting even more sad and creepy every time silent posts

i haven't done any drugs in 5 days....

Caine Walker
01-20-2010, 08:02 PM
are you sure it doesn't just <i>feel</i> like 5 days?

silent1
01-22-2010, 02:21 PM
up to a week now. been drinking mad water. should be clean. need to find a job now.





then it's back to fat bong rips.

cocksure
01-22-2010, 02:42 PM
not everyone can be as perfect as you eulogy. yin and yang. the world needs people like me...ok maybe not NEEDS but it's the way of the universe my son.
i am never sure if people are serious about this kind of bullshit

Eulogy
01-22-2010, 03:13 PM
up to a week now. been drinking mad water. should be clean. need to find a job now.





then it's back to fat bong rips.

what sort of qualifications do you have

silent1
01-23-2010, 05:22 PM
well...i'm not on drugs...that counts as qualifications right?

better than most people around here.

this is detroit, no one has qualifications. we're used to just working on the auto assembly line for fat dollars. but that's no longer an option.

slunken
01-23-2010, 05:55 PM
That or start a band.

cocksure
01-23-2010, 05:59 PM
i wish i had a stable blue collar job they sound kinda fun

silent1
01-23-2010, 06:29 PM
That or start a band.

the sad part is this is sounding like a feasible option at this stage in life.

slunken
01-23-2010, 06:49 PM
I wanna go bowling at the Magic Stick. :(

brendo_91
01-24-2010, 09:00 AM
indeed. she doesn't cook but i prefer my own cooking anyway. she has ocd tho and keeps the house in perfect condition. we make a good team. <3

how could someone with ocd handle being a stripper?

silent1
01-24-2010, 12:46 PM
I wanna go bowling at the Magic Stick. :(

well, where do you live? i'm down. :)

silent1
01-24-2010, 12:48 PM
how could someone with ocd handle being a stripper?

idk, she only works one or two days a week.

Gish08
01-24-2010, 12:49 PM
since i know ur all so interested. u will be happy to know i stopped fucking my ex wife. i moved on to nailing her friends. she wasnt thrilled about that. but that got old too so i started looking for a gf.

pause.

b4 i get to that i would like to mention that my house was robbed 6 times recently...long story.
also i quit my courier job for fear of getting caught embezzling money. so i started working at a dollar store where i banged the manager within the first week...then proceeded to move on to her friend the cashier.
needless to say i was fired soon after that.
um...its been so long i forgot where i left off with you guys.
dated a crackhead whore for a minute until she stole my car for a day and left me with her kids. also she sold me fake pills which was the straw that broke the camel's back.

so a few months ago i took my "best friend" to a court date downtown. he ended up in jail so i proceeded to pick up his gf and headed off to the bar. u can see where this is heading. sexy time.
to be cont.
I don't give a fuck about your life. Shut up.

silent1
01-24-2010, 12:53 PM
no

slunken
01-24-2010, 05:17 PM
well, where do you live? i'm down. :)

I used to spend summers in Detroit couch-surfing and going to Wolf Eyes shows, around 03-05. Absolutely love it there.

stripes
01-25-2010, 03:30 PM
i just had a redbull

barden
02-24-2010, 08:54 PM
hey mang, hows that juggalo band going godfather of the jugs?

silent1
02-25-2010, 05:46 PM
well i suppose you haven't heard but i got a job. the band idea is off the table.

silent1
12-22-2014, 03:18 AM
Update: the stripper and I had a child. He'll be 4 in April. Also we got married which was probably a horrible decision...but it's me we're talking about here. Uh...still never met my child from the Arizona whore. I still have a job. Well I've probably had 5 jobs since I last posted. But I've been at this one for 3 years now. It's going well I suppose. I still like pizza although it sometimes gives me heartburn. Idk...feel free to ask questions.

hnibos
12-22-2014, 05:07 AM
Why are you so awful?

silent1
12-22-2014, 06:31 AM
I think it has to do with a chemical imbalance.

Elvis The Fat Years
12-22-2014, 07:12 AM
Update: the stripper and I had a child. He'll be 4 in April. Also we got married which was probably a horrible decision...but it's me we're talking about here. Uh...still never met my child from the Arizona whore. I still have a job. Well I've probably had 5 jobs since I last posted. But I've been at this one for 3 years now. It's going well I suppose. I still like pizza although it sometimes gives me heartburn. Idk...feel free to ask questions.

http://fat.gfycat.com/DeficientFrightenedArgali.gif

Shallowed
12-22-2014, 07:29 AM
You have truly lived

killtrocity
12-22-2014, 11:11 AM
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/XrGtrdNqOa4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>



just kidding, silent1


serious question though, how many people have you fornicated?

The exploding boy
12-22-2014, 10:47 PM
Wow i'm sorry i missed this person being around the first time.



For the record i'm banging someone while writing this and when i'm done, i'm gonna go in the next room and bang her best friend. Then i'm gonna go back to the first girl an tell her i just banged her best friend. Then i'm gonna tell her to shut the fuck up bitch why you always on my case about fucking your best friends? And then i'm gonna go out to a strip bar and bang whatever stripper is there to forget about my bitches problems. Probably up the ass. Then i'm gonna bang the gf or wife of the next person that posts. Just cause i'm crazy like that. Then i'm gonna come back to tell you about it.

silent1
12-23-2014, 12:59 AM
Lmao killtrocity. That was definitely me. Now I'm just a bitter Fuck. I was a very unhappy/depressed person at the time...I'm still unhappy, I've just come to terms with it.

As for the fornicating, it's honestly not that many between 20-25.

silent1
12-23-2014, 01:00 AM
Wow i'm sorry i missed this person being around the first time.



For the record i'm banging someone while writing this and when i'm done, i'm gonna go in the next room and bang her best friend. Then i'm gonna go back to the first girl an tell her i just banged her best friend. Then i'm gonna tell her to shut the fuck up bitch why you always on my case about fucking your best friends? And then i'm gonna go out to a strip bar and bang whatever stripper is there to forget about my bitches problems. Probably up the ass. Then i'm gonna bang the gf or wife of the next person that posts. Just cause i'm crazy like that. Then i'm gonna come back to tell you about it.

I hope you're not lying. It honestly makes everyone's day around here. Take pics.