NEEDS MORE JAZZ

what does itt mean?

ahh it hurts where the tiger is biting me

What's a gym?

Ooooooooooh, a <i>gym</i>.

can you taste the thumbtacks daddy?

needs more cowbell...wait

:dammit:

D'OH

Boo-urn.


All of you.

what if he releases the hounds? or the bees? oh the hounds with bees in there mouths?

I'm going to get my high school diploma and reclaim my Most Improved Odor trophy!

what if he releases the hounds? or the bees? oh the hounds with bees in there mouths?

... and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?

there is an actual minor league team named the albuquerque isotopes

<img src=http://shop.albuquerquebaseball.com.ismmedia.com/ISM3/thumbcache/5973e28f7d32cceb4cc521318e290962.500.jpg>

everything's comin' up milhouse!

i call the big one bitey.

springfield baby
in a diaper
poked his eye
with a windshield wiper

springfield is a part of us all, a part of us all, a part of us all

That is a rare photo of Sean Connery signed by Roger Moore. It is worth 150 dollars.

NEEDS MORE JAZZ

needs more dog

See location

oh boy, sleep! that's where i'm a viking!

Oh no, I am not handicapped. I am just lazy.

PRAY....FOR...MOJO.

that had nothing to do with the bucket!

there is an actual minor league team named the albuquerque isotopes

it's not a coincidence either, they actually changed their name to the isotopes because of the simpsons and it was applicable because of the atom bomb testing in NM.

edit: moved to Albuquerque in 2003 from Calgary

wiki:

"the fictional Springfield Isotopes from the long running TV series The Simpsons were the influence for the new name of the team. In the episode "Hungry Hungry Homer", main character Homer Simpson attempts to thwart the team's plan to move to Albuquerque by going on a hunger strike. Subsequently, when an Albuquerque Tribune online survey helped the team decide its new name, "Isotopes" received 67 percent of the 120,000 votes."

i forgot that the springfield topes were moving to Albuquerque. perfect all around and i like the logo

<img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/4/4f/AlbuquerqueIsotopes.png/100px-AlbuquerqueIsotopes.png">

That is a rare photo of Sean Connery signed by Roger Moore. It is worth 150 dollars.

<i>That</I> is an arm drawn by nobody, it is worth nothing.

Are there pirates in Hell?
Yes! Thousands of them!

Two wrongs make a right, Lisa...ah, Rex Morgan MD. You have the prescription for the daily blues.

All those bald children were starting to arouse suspicion

Bungie Jump Against Racism

It's like an ancient sea turtle making love to a suitcase that fell out of a plane!

Stop that! You'll scratch your shackles!

So, you thought you could make a break for it, did you? Well, no one ever escapes from fat camp. 'Cause the only way out is up a gentle slope!

LISA NEEDS BRACES!

DENTAL PLAN!!!!!!!!!!!

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Stuperous funker.

homer: you can go to the best college money can buy in south carolina

lisa: i will not be a game cock

homer: go gamecocks!

Stan Lee: Hold it son. Wouldn't you rather have an exciting action figure?
Nerd: AHHHH, but Batman only fits in my Batmobile.
Stan Lee: Ha-are you nuts? The Thing fits in there perfectly. [stuffs The Thing into the Batmobile] Look he's fitting right now.
Nerd: AHHHH you broke my Batmobile!
Stan Lee: Broke... or made it better?

this is the actual outfit worn by george lucas while directing star wars i added the pregnancy panels

floor feels a little gritty here....

yeah, we ran out of floorboards so we just painted the dirt.. Pretty Clever!

go on homer. we don't judge here.

Well. Ok. Here goes: yesterday i was so desperate for a beer i went to the ball park and ate the dirt under the bleachers

(collective gasp)
<h1>I CAST THEE OUT!!!</h1>

hey

where on the internet can i go for a good, easily accessible, no commitment simpsons binge?

No one must know I dropped them in the toilet. Not I, the man who drafted the Paris peace accord.

hey

where on the internet can i go for a good, easily accessible, no commitment simpsons binge?

Welcome to Watch The Simpsons Online - FREE! (http://www.wtso.net)

It is a beautiful thing. (protip: stick to Seasons 4-10 for quality lulz)

hey

i know what seasons are good

fuck off.

(thank you)

season three is good

Say that to my face, Trots. I dare you.

yeah i would definitely give it a broader arc of 3-12.

1-2 is just family friendly shit.

I'll accept 3-12. The closer to the middle the better though. Like 5-9. Oh baby that's the creamy center.

Also "I stole it from that Borgnine guy..."

Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about!

didn’t think it was physically possible, but this both sucks *and* blows.

so i says to Mabel, i says

crikey, he's got me by the dangle doo

I wash myself with a rag on a stick

aye, that's handsome pete! he dances for nickels!

purple is a fruit.

Yes? What happened? When did that happen? How much of it? Ah my goodness I'll be right up. Homer, I gotta go upstairs, there's a problem. Someone ate part of my lunch.

geech gone'ta heaven!

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"the bread was..."

"ruff"

"oh, youve been saying that all day..."

"chewey?"

homer: "and maybe that talking coyote was just that talking dog"

dog: "hi homer. find your soulmate"

homer: "wait a second, theres not such thing as a talking dog!"

dog: "woof. woof"

homer: "damn straight!"

"All aboard, boys, I've been waiting for you!"
"Now I'll tell you, that doesn't make a lick of sense!"
"I know. Just get on the bus."
"Second pedal, clutch ... wait, wait, I'll get it!"
"Give it some gas, Grandpa!"
"Oh, quiet, Jody, you're not helping..."

I'm an intense Care Bear..!

Homer: "You people have held me back long enough. I'm going to clown college!"
Bart: "I don't think any of us expected him to say that."

Hey, you mugs! Thinkin' ain't drinkin'!
<I>*whips Lenny and Carl with his dishrag as they start to drink quickly*</I>

otto: *sees marge holding up the back of the school bus* oh man, what am is smoking? oh yeah! pot.

That photo was taken shortly before I was shot in the back -- which was very strange because it was during a Bob Hope show. I was trying to get Joey Heatherton to put on some pants, for God's sake!

For bonus points: The "Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins/Homer Simpson, smiling politely" joke was originally written for another 90s alt-rock musician who refused to be in the episode. For 1 point, who was it? And for 2 points, how did the joke go?

Courtney Love.

The joke was...shit..."Courtney Love." "Homer...." I can't remember his full response "Gassy" "Happy" "Hungry"

Homer Flattered. Good shit.

"Mr. President, this tax reform is nothing but a bunch of partisan rhetoric..."
"OOH! OOHH! AHHH!! AHHH!!!"
"Heh heh heh. That's what you get for not Hailing to the Chimp!"

*runaway log with lisa's head on it crushes Kentucky Fried Panda*
Homer: *cries* It was finger ling-ling good!

sonic youth said they would bail on the episode if courtney was involved, and strangely enough the simpsons sided with the youth.. could have been a matt groening endorsement.. who knows..

And Pearl Jam didn't want in cause of the Ticketmaster joke.

SONIC YOUTH IS EATING MY WATERMELON

I've had it up to here with these damn rickets.

Well, well, well. If it isn't the tooth fairy.

You know, Mr. Burns, you're the richest guy I know. Way richer than Lenny.
Oh yes, but I'd trade it all for a little more.

*Homer climbs out of a crater, glowing*

"Must destroy mankind...!"

*Homer's watch beeps*

"Ooh, lunch time"

And Pearl Jam didn't want in cause of the Ticketmaster joke.

What was the Ticketmaster joke?

Lisa: I think it's ironic that dad saved the day, while a slimmer man would have fallen to his death.

Bart: And I think it's ironic that, for once, dad's butt PREVENTED the release of toxic ga...

Marge: BART!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

Homer: Look at all those stupid people. I paid my taxes over a year ago!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

My name is Jeff Albertson. But everyone calls me "comic book guy."

Sure, I might offend a few of the blue noses with my cocky stride and musky odors. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called city fathers, who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"

So far nearly everything I've posted is something I say randomly while drunk. :(

Mr. Simpson, do you drink?

I enjoy a snifter or two of port at christmas.

"You mean it ate Patrick too?"
"It ate everybody."
"What about Erika?"
"It! Ate! Everybody! Stupid!"

What the hell was that!? I could pull a better cartoon out of my a-a-hey hey kids! Wasn't that cartoon great!!!????

only who can prevent forest fires?
you pressed you, referring to me. that is incorrect. the correct answer, is you.

ICE CREAM! ICE CREAM! I'M ALL OUTTA ICE-CREAM! It's true, you know.

good god what a timeless show

Look Marge, you don't know what it's like. I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order. YOU'RE out of order! The whole freaking system is out of order! You want the truth?! You want the truth?! YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a PILE OF GOO that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it Marge, it's Chinatown!!

What was the ticketmaster joke?

burns and smithers sitting on stands at hulabalooza:

"fantastic smithers! look at all these (some crazy burns analogy here). And to think you laughed when i bought ticketmaster. *smithers voice* nobody's going to pay a 150% service charge!"

and pearl jam had a problem with this joke...why?

They've been dubbed the Three Musketeers... hahahaha... And we laugh legitimately. There's a mathematician, a different kind of mathematician, and a statistician.

An evening with Philip Glass. Just an evening?!

Look Marge, you don't know what it's like. I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order. YOU'RE out of order! The whole freaking system is out of order! You want the truth?! You want the truth?! YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a PILE OF GOO that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it Marge, it's Chinatown!!

god i fucking love this one

"What the hell are you talking about!?"
"I don't know."

They've been dubbed the Three Musketeers... hahahaha... And we laugh legitimately. There's a mathematician, a different kind of mathematician, and a statistician.

They're testing whether ants can sort tiny screws in a zero gravity environment.

HORRIBLE HORRIBLE FREEDOM!

Homer: Hey, I earn that money. While you lounge around here doing laundry and putting up drywall, I'm at work busting my hump.

Marge: Oh, please. From what I hear, you waltz in there at 10:30, take a nap on the toilet, then sit around "Googling" your own name until lunch.

Homer [gasps]: Who told you that?

Marge: You shouted it while we were making love!

I HAD MUSTARD?!

Dr Hibert: Your wife agreed that I should break this to you

Homer: No need doc I can read Marge like a book

*zoom in on Marge sad face*

Homer: Wooooo- It's good news isn't it!

Can I have a lolly too?

No, Bart. I have something even better for you: a rubella inoculation!

Hello, everybody. I'm Archie Bell, and I'm also the Drells. I've got a new song called "Tighten Up," and this is the music you tighten up with!
<I>*dah dah dah da da dum dum dah! dah dah dah da da dum dum dah!*
*Crowd groans painfully and walks away*</I>
Hey, what's-a matter you? You crazy kid, you chasing away my bus-a-ness, eh?
Buzz off, Giuseppe!
A-Pepe, go for the face!
Oooh-oooh-ahhh-ahhh!!
Ahhhhhhhh!!
<I>*Monkey attacks Teen Homer, he falls back yet continues to play*
*dah dah dah da da dum dum dah! dah dah dah da da dum dum dah!*</I>

*Boonie and Clyde are being shot to death*
Marge (as Bonnie): I think we should see other people.
*Camera zooms out to Wiggum shooting at the couple*
Marge: Say Officer, I like how you handle that gun
Police Chief Wiggum (as southern sheriff): Thanks, I like the way you take a bullet, ha.
Homer (as Clyde): Hey Back off she's my girl
Police Chief Wiggum: Darn just my luck

This is a conceptual nightmare. I mean, Nathan Detroit would never wear this. And this song isn't even in the show!
I don't need this, I got 75 shortcakes to strawberry. Now get out there, <I>Luke!</I>

Remember what I told you. Just one thing. My car broke down. I'm Joe Namath.
It was just vapor lock...vapor lock...vapor lock...

MILPOOL.....

Marge: I wish you'd stop spreading bad rumors about people. Remember how you got Grandpa tarred and feathered?
Bart: Sure, that was 20 minutes ago.
Abe: Gonna be in the tub for a while...

Bart: Well I guess that explains everything...
Homer: NOT everything. There's still the little matter of the whereabouts of your wife.
Mod: Um, I'm right here.
Homer: Oh, I see. ...Then everything is wrapped up in a NEAT LITTLE PACKAGE.

*Maude

(idiot)

Well, touche.

I was thinking of you, my mod in shining armor.

Stinking, Rotten, vomiting, vile
New Orleans
Putrid, brackish, maggotty, foul
New Orleans!
Crummy, lousy, rancid, and rank
New Orleans

Long before the Superdome
where the Saints of football play
there was a city that the <i>damned</I> call home
hear their hellish roundelay

Well Mr. Burns had done it,
The power plant had won it,
With Roger Clemens clucking all the while,
Mike Scioscia's tragic illness made us smile,
While Wade Boggs lay unconscious on the barroom tile...

We're talkin' softball...
From Maine to San Diego.
Talkin' softball...
Mattingly and Canseco.
Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw.
Steve Sax and his run-in with the law.
We're talkin' Homer... Ozzie and the Straw.

We're talkin' softball...
From Maine to San Diego.
Talkin' softball...
Mattingly and Canseco.
Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw.
Steve Sax and his run-in with the law.
We're talkin' Homer... Ozzie and the Straw.

We're talkin' Hooooooomeeeeer *dun dun* Ozzie and the Straaaaaw...

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO TRIM THOSE SIDEBURNS!!!!

PITT. THE. ELDER.
LOOORDD PALLLMERSTON
PITT. THE. ELDER.
LOOOORRRDD PAAALLLMMMERRRSTON.
PITT. THE. ELDER.
*knocks out wade boggs*
Way to go Barney. *scoff* Pitt the Elder
LOOOOOOOORRRRRD PALLLMERSSTON!!!

that's season 3 btw duo you fucknut

We talked about how much I love that episode like 4 times before, you balderbrained jackaninny.

No noise usually means no bees...TO THE BEE MOBILE!
You mean your Chevy?
....yes.

burns and smithers sitting on stands at hulabalooza:

"fantastic smithers! look at all these (some crazy burns analogy here). And to think you laughed when i bought ticketmaster. *smithers voice* nobody's going to pay a 150% service charge!"

It ensures a healthy mix of the rich and the ignorant, sir.

it gets 75 hectares on a single tank of kerosene
what country is this from?
it no longer exists

PUT IT IN "H"!

is that what he said i thought he says something like put it in nizhe

i love that shit though

what's his name Crazy Zagreb?

I think I know my own life, Ned.

I'm someone else!
He's right!

"No, the police said I was too heavy. The army said I was too dumb."

is that what he said i thought he says something like put it in nizhe

Nah, he definitely says H cause I remember I turned on the subtitles for his bit before: "Take One Drive And You'll Agree 'Zabib Das Eethuha'" or whatever it is he says.

Ich bin ein Berliner.
He's a Nazi! Get 'im!

King Kong coldcocked Kato Kaelin!

I'm sorry, Donkey Kong. You're just not a draw anymore...
<I>*DK Throws a barrel at the guy*</I>
He's still got it!

we need pretzels repeat pretzels

simpson, eh?????

I'm sorry, Donkey Kong. You're just not a draw anymore...
<I>*DK Throws a barrel at the guy*</I>
He's still got it!

Apes A' Poppin'! Airline version!

They didn't have Lord Huggington?
It's the same basic bear, Homey.

Take me out to the baaaaalllll gaaaame. Take me out to the baaalll...

it really sucks when you post really long ones i mean i might just watch a simpsons episode while i'm at it

I'm someone else!
He's right!

i love this whole episode

can you swing a sack of doorknobs?
Can I!
Here's your sack.
But ya gotta supply yer own knobs.

and the ever classic:

I don't believe in nothin no more! I'm going to law school!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was JUST about to post "But ya gotta supply your own knobs!"

Damn. Anyway...


3.
2.
1.
Bigrocketgonow.

That one even has "I didn't say stop."

Oh, oh, and "...It seems that the cat... has been caught by the very person... that was trying to catch him."

Oh Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes.
Well, touche.

I could entertain myself all day in this thread. Don't mind me.

Yes I would, Kent.

What advantages does this motorcar have over, say a train, which I could also afford?

-Really the funniest part about that is probably the way Homer's fucking with the steering wheel. And that he's wearing a monocle and the car salesman refers to him as Count Homer.

Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it's time for our viewers to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside?

Yes I would, Kent.

IT'S IN REVELATIONS, PEOPLE!!!!!

IT'S IN REVELATIONS, PEOPLE!!!!!

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

I'm a lazy, lazy man Roger....

Old Jewish Man "This is great television"
Grandpa Simpsons "Ya I can't wait to see which one of them dies first"

I want roving death squads around the perimeter 24/7. I want 10,000 tough guys, and I want 10,000 soft guys to make the tough guys look tougher. And here's how I want 'em arranged: tough, tough, soft, tough, soft, soft, tough, tough, soft, soft, tough, soft!
Sir, I'm afraid you've gone mad with power.
Of course I have. Ever gone mad without power? It's boring! No one listens to you!

Do you want Old Man Patterson with his finger on the button?
What button?!

W-what button? Where am I?! Who took my false teeth?!

Dear advertiser, I am DISGUSTED with the way old people are depicted on television! We are NOT all vibrant, fun-loving sex maniacs! Many of us are old and bitter, and remember the good old days when TV was bland and inoffensive. The following is a list of words I never want to hear on TV again...Number one: "Bra." Number two: "Horny." Number three: "Family Jewels."

Hey kids, this is grandpa Murphy!

We have three grandpas already!

This one is a great jazz musician!

Aw, they all are!

Awww, y'see, the kids, they listen to the rap music, which gives them the brain damage, with the hippin' and the hoppin' and the bippin' and the boppin', so they don't know what the JAZZ is ALL ABOUT! Y'see, jazz is like a Jello puddin' pop, NO, it's more like Kodak film, NO, it's more like the New Coke, it'll be around forever, HAHAHA.

Hah! Hah! heh..hehhhhh
Oh dear, he his having an out of body experience. This is very... bad for business.

Looks like we're experiencing some blowback from the wig offensive.
It's time to hit him where he lives.
His house?
Bingo!

---
But Bar, we can't show weakness in-front of the Russians
<I>*Gorby mutters something in Russian to his driver, the other guy chuckles*</I>

---
So I thought to myself: what would God do in a situation like this?
Ha ha ha, Loctus.

---
Who, Maude and Me?
No! The boy and the man. The boy's name is Bart, I don't know what the man's name is...

---
He SPANKED you?!
I begged him to stop but he said it was for the good of the country!

I can't help but notice how most of these quotes are from seasons 1-9. seasons 1-9 are absolutely amazing and everything after that is total shit and I can't believe such a great show dropped off like it did. Does anyone else remember when they aired on thursday nights?

Bart, did your dad ever take you to baseball games?

Nah, his game was blackjack. He bet our family's entire life savings on one hand.

*flashback*

19.

Hit me.

20.

Hit me.

21.

Hit me.

22.

D'OH!

AY ES MUY MALO!

AY! NO ES BUENO!

Dear advertiser, I am DISGUSTED with the way old people are depicted on television! We are NOT all vibrant, fun-loving sex maniacs! Many of us are old and bitter, and remember the good old days when TV was bland and inoffensive. The following is a list of words I never want to hear on TV again...Number one: "Bra." Number two: "Horny." Number three: "Family Jewels."

When I read your magazine, I don't see one wrinkled face or one toothless smile. For shaaaaammmmme.

To the sickos at modern bride magazine.

TV laughs with me, not at me.
<I>*turns on the TV*</I>
Hhahahaha, you stupid-
D'oh!

Looks like we're experiencing some blowback from the wig offensive.
It's time to hit him where he lives.
His house?
Bingo!

---
But Bar, we can't show weakness in-front of the Russians
<I>*Gorby mutters something in Russian to his driver, the other guy chuckles*</I>

---
So I thought to myself: what would God do in a situation like this?
Ha ha ha, Loctus.

---
Who, Maude and Me?
No! The boy and the man. The boy's name is Bart, I don't know what the man's name is...

---
He SPANKED you?!
I begged him to stop but he said it was for the good of the country!

That episode has to many incredible moments... George Bush calling burgers a weekend thing, Babs saying George Bush Jr. and Jeb Bush were probably looking for letters of recommendation, and of course the Q/A session with Bush after his speech...

that doll is evil i tell you evillllllll

But the menu said "galaxy of prawns". Three prawns are hardly a galaxy! What do you mean, "your hands are tied"?! Let me talk to Mr. Kwan.
The phone's not even plugged in!
Alright, you listen to me, Kwan. Hang on, I got another call....Yes, Mr. President! I can be in Washington right away!

Aurora Borealis?
yes
At this time of day, at this time of year, in this part of the country, localised entirely to your kitchen?
yes
...may i see it?
....no

I've been smiling for 47 years and you two broke my streak!

Milhouse, you're more like a big sister.

I am NOT! Why does everyone keep saying that?!

18000 letters, all adressed to Santa Clause

And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves

We must move forwards, not backwards... upwards, not forwards... and always twirling, Twirling, TWIRLING towards freedom!

I'm with the shirt! Homework rots!

Gee Homie, it's not very nice to maul Ranger Ned.
YOU WANT SOME O' THIS?!?!

ARR! It's kind of ye to deliver these copies of "Juggs." They'll keep my men from resorting to homosexuality...for about 10 minutes.

Look who's talking.

...Yarr.

I know, the radio will tune them down!

Guuuhhh, disco?
Easy listening?!
Country Western?!
World music?!
Urban Smooth?
Salsa Fusion?!

*a crowd is jumping up and down and screaming as U2 plays*
OTTO: Sit down! Sit down! You're ruining it for everyone!"

<I>Tonight on Eye on Springfield, we meet a man who's been hiccuping for 27 years!</i>
*Hic* Kill me. *hic* Kill me. *hic* Kill me.

Homer: I'd like a beer please
Bartender: Uh, sorry you got to be a pilot to drink in here
Homer: uh, but I am a pilot
Bartender: Where's your uniform?
Homer: Umm.. I stored it safely in the over head compartment
Bartender: Well, you talk the talk. Here's a loaner

Aw crap, Quebec's got the bomb.

It was the best of times it was the BLURST of times!?

well except for flatulent fox, that was based on a true story....

That's Tennis?! Then what's the one where the chicks wail on each other?!

Foxy boxing?

Yeah! That's what I wanted!

Homer I didn't even know you liked the ballet.
Marjorie please! I enjoy all the meats of our cultural stew.

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0060952520.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

Entertainment Tonight Anchor "..70's leading man Troy McClure, has finally meet the women of his dreams! We may remember... WOMEN!?! Huh.. *looks to his left* Ok. We may remember Troy from such films as the verdict was mail (male) fraud and leper in the back field."


I personally prefer it to be Male Fraud.

It's high time the public realized we conservatives aren't all Johnny-hatemongers, and Charlie Bible-thumps, or even, God forbid... George Bushes.

what if he releases the hounds? or the bees? oh the hounds with bees in there mouths?

... and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?

<img src=http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/8489/37604351357e3335c2c0o.jpg>


Apparently this is from a magic card.

Homer (as Mozarts father) "Mozarts you can't die. *cry* I don't want to live in a world without the income you produce" *cry, cry, cry, cry, cry*

wow that was a bad reference.

srsly

Dad, nerds are nothing to fear. In fact, they've done some pretty memorable things. Some nerds of note *******...popcorn magnate Orville Redenbacher, rock star David Byrne, and supreme court justice David Souter.

Oh no! Not Souter!

It was the best of times it was the BLURST of times!?this is my favorite. i don't really know why.

and what great men he would join. John Marshall. Oliver Wendell Holmes. Warren Burger. MMmmmmmm. Burger.

*Lenny & Carl are sealing toxic waste*

Lenny "What do they do with these things after we seal them?"

Carl "I hear they dump them in an abandon chalk mine and cover them with cement"

Lenny "I hear they are sending them one of those southern states where the governor is a crook"

Carl "Either way I am sleeping well tonight"

*Carl High Fives Lenny and they walk away*

*Mr Smithers enters from behind a pipe and looks around then waves for Mr Burns to come*

Mr Smithers "Well Sir where should we dump this batch? the playground?"

Mr Burns "No all those bald children are arousing suspicion. To the park!"

dude, you suck at this.

Your guilty conscience may force you to vote Democratic, but deep down, you secretly long for a cold-blooded Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and RULE YOU LIKE A KING!

Rod Flanders: What are you doing, daddy?
Ned Flanders: Imploring some people I never met to pressure a government with better things to do to punish an innocent man for doing something that nobody saw. That's what I'm doing!
Rod Flanders: Daddy, we think you need a new mommy.
Ned Flanders: First things first!

this might actually be my favourite this very second

Marge: Now be good for Grampa while we're at the parent-teacher meeting. We'll bring back dinner.
Lisa: What are we gonna have?
Homer: Well, that depends on what your teachers say. If you've been good, pizza. If you've been bad... uh... let's see... poison.
Lisa: What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad?
Bart: Poison pizza.
Homer: Oh, no! I'm not making two stops!

Mr Simpson, I'm afraid that you have a crayon lodge in your brain!

This is Papa Bear, put out an APB for a male suspect... driving a... car of some sort... heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. ...Suspect is hatless, repeat, hatless!

Mr Simpson, I'm afraid that you have a crayon lodge in your brain!

srsly?

^At this point it's not even sad so much as impressive.

Can't sleep. Clown will eat me. Can't sleep. Clown will eat me.

Cryin' in the corner, are you? Mind if I join ya?

That's just a television studio where they film Krusty the Klown and other non-box related programming.

There's something odd about that "Sop" sign...

My baby! My baby!
Don't worry ma'am, I'll save your baby!
Oh, thank you, Mr. Canseco. My cat!
Never fear ma'am, I'll save your cat!
My player piano!
Oh, man...

you forgot pleasant!

Flim Springfield.

okay new spin on this... shortest but most informative simpsons reference you can come up with.

If celebrities didn't want people pawing through their garbage and saying they're gay, then they shouldn't have tried to express themselves creatively.

okay new spin on this... shortest but most informative simpsons reference you can come up with.

http://indietravelpodcast.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/homer-doh-square.jpg

You have destroyed all human life on Earth. Level 1 complete!

This is Papa Bear, put out an APB for a male suspect... driving a... car of some sort... heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. ...Suspect is hatless, repeat, hatless!

suspect is driving a ...car.


we are directly beneath the sun... nn...now!

now we can listen to my Rappin Ronnie Reagan tape!

w-w-well, well well www well well

heehee. he did say well a lot.

Jane Fonda, Daniel Schorr, Jack Anderson...

This is it people! This is what we've been waiting for. Many of you said I was mad, some of you requested to be transferred to another peanut factory, but I insisted we spent three hours a day training for, and now-
<I>*Stampy kicks down the door, interrupting his speech and ruining the peanut factory*</I>

A BOX!!!!!!!!!! MY BOY IS A BOOOOOOOOOOOOXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Five days? But I'm mad now! I'd kill you if I had my gun.
Yeah, well, you don't.

I forbid you to bend it like Beckham! Plus, you must marry this complete stranger. His father is an important business acquaintance of mine. Love counts for nothing!
You tell her, Mr. Dhanabhai! Business contacts are more important than love!

Ingenious, isn't it, Mr. Bunt?
Scorpio, you're totally mad.
Hah. I wouldn't point fingers, you jerk!
So, do you expect me to talk?
I don't expect anything from you, except to die and be a very cheap funeral. You're gonna die now!

Mr. Simpson, this place Moe's you were at before the accident, is this a business of some kind?

(Don't tell him you werew at a bar! But what else is open at night?)

It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.

(Heheheh. I never would've thought of that!)

These look like teeth marks.
I thought there was chocolate inside.
...
Well why was it wrapped in foil?!
It was never wrapped in foil!

Krusty, what are you doing here?

Oh, this is my community service for my GLUG GLUG, VROOM VROOM....THUMP, THUMP.

Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog... actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

ah lionel hutz

You'll go nuts over Lionel's huts!

suspect is driving a ...car.


we are directly beneath the sun... nn...now!

beneath the earth's sun.

Captain's log, stardate 6051. Had trouble sleeping last night. My hiatal hernia is acting up. The ship is drafty and damp. I complain but.... nobody listens.
<B>STAR TREK XII: SO VERY TRIED</B>

yeah but the mystery box could be anything, it could even be a boat

"You see kid, you're being bamboozaled. These capatalist fat cats are inflating the profit margin and reducing your total number of toys."
"Hey, this guy's a COMMIE!"

"Awwwww 20 dollars!? But I wanted a peanut."

"Awwwww 20 dollars!? But I wanted a peanut."

(20 dollars can buy MANY peanuts!)

Explain how!

(Money can be exchanged for goods and services!)

WOO-HOO!

http://img145.imageshack.us/img145/5690/yesssy.jpg

<I>*after being shot repeatedly and lying in a pool of his own blood*</I>
Aw, damn. Damn, damn, damn, damn....McBain?
Yes.
I'm not going to make it...

Homer (as Safety Salamander): "The 1st rule of bus safety is always wear your seat belts"
Millhouse (with raised hand): "School buses don't have seat belts"
Homer "Then what protects you if we crash?"
Otto "A metal bar at tooth level"
Homer "STOP THIS BUS!"
*bus comes to sudden stop, as kids hit there teeth on the metal bar*

Kids "OUCH! MY TEETH"

Oh, who needs the infinite compassion of Genisha when I have Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman <I>staring back at me from 'Entertainment Weekly' with their <B>dead eyes!</B></I>

Homer (as Safety Salamander): "The 1st rule of bus safety is always wear your seat belts"
Millhouse (with raised hand): "School buses don't have seat belts"
Homer "Then what protects you if we crash?"
Otto "A metal bar at tooth level"
Homer "STOP THIS BUS!"
*bus comes to sudden stop, as kids hit there teeth on the metal bar*

Kids "OUCH! MY TEETH"

Hey Monte.

*bart imagines he surprise Lisa with spraying the hose onto a small t-rex spunge that grows big and starts to eat Lisa!*
T-Rex: ROOAAAARRR
Lisa: Wooo-- NOOOO!!! It's dripping funny smelling water all over me!!!!!

youur manager says for you to shut uP!

Veria said that?

we need more special sauce. put this may-nase (sic) out in the sun.

Me fail English? That's unpossible.

Why do you have a social worker? I am the one with stigmata.

This thread really reminds me of how much the simpsons positively impacted humor in the US. And then family guy came along and probably made this upcoming generation half retarded.

is there some kind of law that forces everyone to compare simpsons to family guy

can't we just enjoy such a universally loved thing as simpsons without starting that dumb discussion

word

Entertainer "Now for my next illusion i'll need a voluntary"
(Drunk) Marge "I'll do it! I always ends up doing it!"
*audience claps*
Marge " Hiiiiiiiii"
Entertainer "I'm Diablo, what's your name?"
Marge "Marge"
Diablo "Ok Marge, and who is that gentlemen you're with?"
Marge "That's no gentlemen, that's my husband"

Entertainer "Now for my next illusion i'll need a voluntary"
(Drunk) Marge "I'll do it! I always ends up doing it!"
*audience claps*
Marge " Hiiiiiiiii"
Entertainer "I'm Diablo, what's your name?"
Marge "Marge"
Diablo "Ok Marge, and who is that gentlemen you're with?"
Marge "That's no gentlemen, that's my husband"
:rofl:
The funny part about this scene is the ballgag.

Entertainer "Now for my next illusion i'll need a voluntary"
(Drunk) Marge "I'll do it! I always ends up doing it!"
*audience claps*
Marge " Hiiiiiiiii"
Entertainer "I'm Diablo, what's your name?"
Marge "Marge"
Diablo "Ok Marge, and who is that gentlemen you're with?"
Marge "That's no gentlemen, that's my husband"
this is such a "mom" joke

Jimmy: Mr. McClure, I have a crazy friend who says it's wrong to eat meat. Is he crazy?
Troy: No, just ignorant. You see, your crazy friend never heard of the food chain. Just ask this scientician.
Random Scientist: Uh...-
Troy: He'll tell you that, in nature, one creature invariably eats another creature to survive.

COME BACK ZINC!!! COME BAAACCCKKKK!!!

Ziiiinc, ziiiinc, ZINC!

SILLY CUSTOMER! YOU CANNOT HURT A TWINKIE!