View Full Version : So is Monte writing articles on relationships now?


waltermcphilp
11-21-2008, 09:57 AM
under the pen name Mark Miller?

A 99-Cent Dating Experiment - Page1 - * MSN Relationships - article (http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlematch.aspx?cp-documentid=11463157&GT1=32023)

I arrived at Sarah's place wearing my playful Looney Tunes tie (a $9.99 value!), with a gift for her—an official Olympics Souvenir Program. A collector's item! It originally sold for $12.95, but I got it for, yes, 99 cents. Oh, sure, it was for the 1984 Olympics, but that makes it a 20th anniversary collector's item. Nor did I forget her cat, Marvin, whom I surprised with a Whiskas four-pack of Chicken and Seafood.

She mentioned my tie, the chalk, and the cat food before reaching for my bag and pulling out the remaining purchases, including Sesame Street Chocolate Chip Cookies (our gourmet dessert), Krazy Glue (to bond my hand to hers), a solar-powered calculator (to determine how many happy days we'd have in the future), Famous Publishers Books (so I could read to her later; women love that) and Matchbox "Around the World" Cars (something for our future kids!).

Eulogy
11-21-2008, 10:02 AM
what

the

fuck

Floppy Nono
11-21-2008, 10:03 AM
montes budget dating is sweeping the nation to superior results

Eulogy
11-21-2008, 10:03 AM
Before we got in the car, I took out a 21-piece canister of jumbo colored chalk, and right there on the sidewalk I created a multicolored heart with Sarah + Mark inside. I bet her wealthy boyfriends never did that! She seemed amused. Either that or she was so stunned that she couldn't get that strange smile off her face. In any case, I was pretty sure she'd never encountered a date like this. She couldn't accuse me of not being unique. So far, so good.

We drove to the beach (free scenery!) where the heat was no problem because I was thoughtful enough to bring along Pinnacle Drinking Water, six for 99 cents, with sports cap. We sat there munching on Granny Goose's 13-ounce-size of tortilla chips and a Sun Maid six-pack of raisins. I even immortalized our fun with my new 35mm "Famous Name" 99-cent camera, containing 99-cent color print film.

Eulogy
11-21-2008, 10:04 AM
oh here's the kicker

It's not that she told me that this was to be our last date, but I inferred it from the lack of response to my phone calls over the next three days.

ahhhhahaha

Floppy Nono
11-21-2008, 10:05 AM
man, once it said beach i was half on the edge of my seat expecting to see the words "gorilla suit" in there.

waltermcphilp
11-21-2008, 10:15 AM
monte, you rascal!

Andrew_Pakula
11-21-2008, 10:31 AM
Monte seems incapable of having a normal date. It always has to be some sort of big production or have some cheesy gimmick to it. Being unique and different can be a good thing but the majority of Monte's dates seem to be either over the top or ridiculous in some manner.

Floppy Nono
11-21-2008, 10:32 AM
trying to overcompensate for his low self of steem most likely

JokeyLoki
11-21-2008, 10:43 AM
oh here's the kicker

It's not that she told me that this was to be our last date, but I inferred it from the lack of response to my phone calls over the next three days.

ahhhhahaha

:rofl:

aTHyQn
11-21-2008, 11:08 AM
it's not monte because monte wouldn't have called afterwards

Nimrod's Son
11-21-2008, 01:18 PM
it's not monte because monte wouldn't have called afterwards

are you fucking kidding me? he used to break into girls' houses and cover their rooms in rose petals

Elvis The Fat Years
11-21-2008, 01:27 PM
to be fair... they weren't real rose petals. just sheets of acid dipped in blood.

monte loves his origami.

Hate the Hater
11-21-2008, 07:23 PM
In my view, rejection is God's protection.

noyen
11-21-2008, 07:26 PM
the financial crisis is enough right now. i think i may just chainsaw my own head off.

Hypocaust
11-21-2008, 07:32 PM
Monte seems incapable of having a normal date. It always has to be some sort of big production or have some cheesy gimmick to it. Being unique and different can be a good thing but the majority of Monte's dates seem to be either over the top or ridiculous in some manner.

Thanks for the update, Chief.

barden
12-03-2008, 07:16 PM
Monte seems incapable of having a normal date. It always has to be some sort of big production or have some cheesy gimmick to it. Being unique and different can be a good thing but the majority of Monte's dates seem to be either over the top or ridiculous in some manner.

thanks for the summary, andy! i was shooting in the dark, if you will, on the whole monte / date situation prior to that!

barden
12-03-2008, 07:18 PM
god damn, you got there first

Starla
12-03-2008, 07:26 PM
I wasn't too sure until this part:

We drove to the beach (free scenery!)

skipgo
12-03-2008, 07:28 PM
too few spelling errors to be monte.

Lucy Sky Diamonds
12-03-2008, 10:56 PM
too few spelling errors to be monte.

That's what editors are for! Granted, anyone who submitted something with his quantity of spelling errors would get ripped a new one by their editor.

Maybe someone on Netphoria is stealing his ideas and profiting from them? :think: