It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

You're a huge faggot.

A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.

don't u have something 2 do like everyone else

When two egoists meet, it's an I for an I.

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

once a pun a time, there was a thread that sucked

Energizer Bunny arrested and charged with battery.

once a pun a time, there was a thread that sucked
well, help out the thread and give us a good pun about your demos.

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.

that was punintended btw

The reading of a will is a dead giveaway.

If you swallow uranium you will probably get atomic ache.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

well, help out the thread and give us a good pun about your demos.

this is demos't fun i've ever had

If you swallow uranium you will probably get atomic ache.
When chemists die, we barium

this is demos't fun i've ever had
:rofl:

wow, that was actually pretty good.

When the actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

puns are only funny and/or appropriate in conversation, when used in a competative manner.
my family is well known for thier punning. I'm the odd one out.

For plumbers, a flush beats a full house.

A test-tube baby has a womb with a view.

Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who refused Novocain during a root canal?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

My dad loves puns.... this is his favorite joke.



The friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds.

Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought this was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.

He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him.

So the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.

Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

There was a man who sent ten different puns to friends, in the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

ok i gotta get the fuck out of here

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much.

The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

these are hillarious!

these are hillarious!
lol

misery

Impressive.

aids