View Full Version : Rolling "Shits Recently Taken" Thread


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mxzombie
05-03-2008, 08:29 AM
<img src=http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b4/Bristol_Stool_Chart.png/460px-Bristol_Stool_Chart.png>

I had a pretty good Type 4 when i woke up this morning. B-

Thaniel Buckner
05-03-2008, 08:32 AM
i let go of a type 5 today. came out really fast. typically i have something between a 2 and a 5

Thaniel Buckner
05-03-2008, 08:32 AM
don't think i won't regularly bump this thread.

mxzombie
05-03-2008, 08:35 AM
i was counting on it

D.
05-03-2008, 08:38 AM
last one i took was pretty clean and simple. one small lump. quick to flush and quick to wipe.

Travis Meeks
05-03-2008, 08:40 AM
i can't wait to find out this morning

Thaniel Buckner
05-03-2008, 09:03 AM
i can't wait to find out this morning
its like christmas every single day.

mxzombie
05-03-2008, 09:07 AM
unless you dump a type 7. that would be a pretty terrible christmas gift

alexthestampede
05-03-2008, 09:08 AM
crazy1 86:hey baby!!!
h0tNsPiCy91: whos dis???
crazy1 86:ur secret admirer!!!!!
h0tNsPiCy91: o really.... quite lyin! whos dis???
crazy1 86:i loved u the first time a stared in your eyes...
crazy1 86:i think about u everyday... you are my dream come true.
crazy1 86: we met once! i dont think u remember tho.
crazy1 86: i cut myself because the pain takes away my feelings of u.
crazy1 86: tonight u will see me some time tonight....
h0tNsPiCy91: ..WHO IS THIS!?!?!?
crazy1 86:dont worry.... ill take very good care of you...

crazy1 86 had signed off.

the girl was so scared she locked alll her doors and windows. she made sure her room was secured. she was so scared if it was a joke or for real. she didnt know when he was going to come. the girl was frighten so she decided to sleep with her little sister. the girl dozed off quikly. then she heards a knock on the window. the girl slowly walked to the window. it started knocking louder. the girl looked through the windows and saw nothing. just some of the tree branches. the girl went back to bed with her sister. the bed was wet and a pretty smells horrid. maybe her sister wet the bed... the girl checked and found blood everywhere. the girl panick. she didnt know what to do. she ran and hid in the closet incase the guy was their for her. while looking through the cracks of the closet the girl saw a shadow. it was dark so she couldnt figure out who it was. she started to get more frighten. the man crept closer to the closet. the girl closed her eyes as if it was a dream. then suddenly he open the closet door and pulled her out. her parents found her dead. she was skinned all the way and was hunged in her sisters closet.

CONTINUED

2 years after the the sisters deaths, the her parents got pregnant with a baby boy the girls room became a guest bedroom and the little sisters room where the murder took place became the babys room. the baby grew up to be a secessful kid. one night he was on the computer and got a instant messege.

h0tNsPiCy91:hey lil bro!!!
2seXay4u: who the f is this?
h0tNsPiCy91: its your big sis.
2seXay4u: i never had a sister. im an only child.
2seXay4u:this is some kinda joke huh?
h0tNsPiCy91: mom and dad never told you?
h0tNsPiCy91: i died 15 years ago with your other older sister.
h0tNsPiCy91:we were murdered in your room which was once my little sisters room. she was killed in bed when i was sleeping and i was killed in the closet and skinned to death.
2seXay4u:quite lying. i never had a sister. if i did my parents would tell me. whatever. your stupid.
h0tNsPiCy91: you dont believe me? well if you wanna look in your closet floor.
h0tNsPiCy91: i carved my name, time and date i was being murdered. then i carved my little sister name.
h0tNsPiCy91: if you dont believe me little brother check the internet. type in ''smith sisters murdered anonymously''.
h0tNsPiCy91: i gtg little brother. i love you. and mom and dad soo much. i cant believe they kept us a secret from you. they should burn in hell.

the boy checked the closet. he saw the carvings. was it true? he surfed the internet and everything was their about the anonymous murder in the house. the next morning the boy went downstairs. it was so queit. maybe mom and dad was sleeping.. hours later the boy found his parents in their closets skinned and hung. then he found more carvings on the ground. it says '' I TOLD YOU I WASNT LYING. LITTLE BROTHER, I LOVED MOM AND DAD.... BUT THEY KEPT ME A SECRET. I CANT BELIVE IT. WELL IM FREE FROM THIS COLD WORLD. I WONT HURT YOU LIKE HOW THEY DIED. I LOVE YOU!

- LISA SMITH ''

this is a death chain. if you dont send this in the next hour the parents will kill you at night. they will kill you

Travis Meeks
05-03-2008, 09:22 AM
unless you dump a type 7. that would be a pretty terrible christmas gift

a type 7 makes you really appreciate a type 4 the next time around.

mxzombie
05-03-2008, 09:28 AM
i think my ideal turd would be a type 3.

PeppermintHippo
05-03-2008, 09:47 AM
I think I have a 2 brewing right now....

yo soy el mejor
05-03-2008, 10:00 AM
the parents will kill you at night. they will kill you

@_@

Shapan
05-03-2008, 07:59 PM
i had a type 5 yesterday. i was expected it to explode out of my butt but it came out relatively easy, i was so disappointed that i kinda sat there for a couple more mins expecting something spectacular. kind of a bummer considering the buildup was so solid.

C+

PeppermintHippo
05-03-2008, 08:08 PM
I hate disappointment like that.

commando
05-03-2008, 11:19 PM
I love me a type 2. Not gonna lie. Takes like one square to wipe. When I lived in Guatemala, type seven was a way of life. I remember one time I was letting a 7 spot go while I simultaneously puked into the shower.

Travis Meeks
05-04-2008, 07:34 AM
I just had a type 5. I suppose I'll have to wait yet another day for the glorious type 2 :(.

D.
05-04-2008, 07:36 AM
i guess the one i mentioned previously was a #3

Travis Meeks
05-04-2008, 07:40 AM
I'm gonna give my odor a ranking of 8/10. It was quite robust but not overwhelming and possessed a slight hint of lavender.

Travis Meeks
05-04-2008, 07:41 AM
in fact it was reminiscent of what Italy would smell like on a cool summer morn

Travis Meeks
05-04-2008, 07:41 AM
blessed be that poop

wally
05-04-2008, 07:42 AM
post/av

pale blue eyes
05-04-2008, 09:34 AM
I just had a Type 5 about ten minutes ago. Was pretty perfect for a just-woke-up poo. Required very little effort on my part yet by the time it was over I felt like I had accomplished something. Well, maybe not that last part but I do feel more awake.

Yeah, that's right. Girls poo, too.

mistle
05-04-2008, 09:46 AM
gross

Travis Meeks
05-04-2008, 09:47 AM
I just had a Type 5 about ten minutes ago. Was pretty perfect for a just-woke-up poo. Required very little effort on my part yet by the time it was over I felt like I had accomplished something. Well, maybe not that last part but I do feel more awake.

Yeah, that's right. Girls poo, too.

we're basically family today

mxzombie
05-04-2008, 11:37 AM
let go of a kind of disappointing type 3 before i came to work. i thought it would be much more satisfying than it ended up being, C-

Thaniel Buckner
05-04-2008, 03:56 PM
had a type 2 about two hours ago. two wipes did the trick.

A-

Travis Meeks
05-04-2008, 05:02 PM
well done ******!!!!

Shapan
05-04-2008, 10:50 PM
so i had the type of sensation where you're unsure if it is just an epic fart or a dump. after pondering a bit, i went to the toilet. it started off with an epic fart that went on for nearly a minute. imagine the fourth of july. in your butt. then a type 5 rolled out as if the blobs were hesitantly sky diving out of an airplane, the airplane being my butt. after a couple of rounds, the deed had been done. it came out more or less as i expected, a solid dump.

B+

bja1288
05-04-2008, 11:01 PM
tinwop

mxzombie
05-05-2008, 06:33 AM
i'm on the toilet right now, letting go of a type 2. just woke up, feels pretty good. B+

wally
05-05-2008, 07:51 AM
so i had the type of sensation where you're unsure if it is just an epic fart or a dump. after pondering a bit, i went to the toilet. it started off with an epic fart that went on for nearly a minute. imagine the fourth of july. in your butt. then a type 5 rolled out as if the blobs were hesitantly sky diving out of an airplane, the airplane being my butt. after a couple of rounds, the deed had been done. it came out more or less as i expected, a solid dump.

B+

best description of a bodily movement ever

Thaniel Buckner
05-05-2008, 08:16 AM
i don't expect to have a bm today because i've been fasting to prevent getting this bug that's been going around. but if i do, i predict it'll be something of a type 1. sometimes i get the bunny pellets when i haven't been eating a lot.

Skradgee
05-09-2008, 01:51 PM
I had a 6.5 on the Brostol scale today after lunch. Actually, it was two of them...one right after the other.

mxzombie
05-09-2008, 03:39 PM
i had two consecutive 5-6s at about 3 this morning. i ate a bunch of fruit roll-ups last night, so that's probably why. it sucked though, D-

waltermcphilp
05-09-2008, 03:45 PM
i haven't taken a shit for about 4 days.

Thaniel Buckner
01-01-2009, 10:53 AM
we all could use some more fiber.

killtrocity
01-01-2009, 11:08 AM
are we in general agreement that a large type-2 is the best outcome one can hope for

Thaniel Buckner
01-01-2009, 11:12 AM
yes but it needs to be executed properly. if you pinch too early you'll be walking around with a groundhog all day.

ChaosEffect
01-01-2009, 11:19 AM
i haven't taken a shit for about 4 days.

I hold the record of 5 days

beef curtains
01-01-2009, 12:31 PM
I live in 4-6 (average 5.75) land with frequent visits to 7 town... This morning was a 5

Ol' Couch Ass
01-01-2009, 12:35 PM
Oh man I just kicked off the new year with a 5.5. Not a good start. I feel like a pitcher who just gave up a homerun to the leadoff hitter. All I can do now is bear down and try to keep the game close.

threetwooneZERO
01-01-2009, 02:03 PM
I had a type 4 and 5 going on yesterday....they were kind of alternating.

I hope today is more consistent.

commando
01-01-2009, 03:13 PM
2 days ago at work I crapped like a 15" type 3. It went straight down the hole and came to rest. When I pinched it it the top smacked the back of my sack as it flopped down against the porcelain. I was like wtf- and when I looked down I couldn't believe all that came out of me so fast. Took like 2 squeezes.

Also, this morning I rocked a type 5-- and a lot of it-- after eating my weight in real mexican last night. It burned a little from the pickled jalepeno I ate, but there was so much it formed like this loaf of bread looking concoction. Amazing.

avsfan7733
01-01-2009, 03:25 PM
new year's day for me generally = beer shits and beer farts. I feel bad for anyone walking behind me.

pale_princess
01-01-2009, 03:47 PM
i just had a type one. NOT FUN. i ate a lot of cheese last night, so whatever.

Hillzy
01-01-2009, 05:20 PM
For most of my life I've been pretty consistently sitting in the 2-4 range. However, last year I started a course of medication which has me at 5 or 6 every time. I look foward to one day reattaining the lower classes.

Shallowed
01-01-2009, 05:53 PM
A couple of days ago, I had a naked pre-shower #3 shit.

Nothing to it, just sat down, BAM, done, wipe, flush, shower.

A

Shallowed
01-01-2009, 05:57 PM
<img src=http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b4/Bristol_Stool_Chart.png/460px-Bristol_Stool_Chart.png>


Conversely, sometimes I push type ones, which take a while to pass, then move into rapid firing type six and seven territory. It's pretty much impossible to enjoy, unless you're some kind of poop masochist.

F

pale_princess
01-01-2009, 06:19 PM
just took a pretty sweet #6. id give 'er an a- cuz the pee came afterward instead of beforehand

bardy
01-01-2009, 06:26 PM
type 2's rip your butt apart, why are they your favorite?

beef curtains
01-01-2009, 08:17 PM
just took a pretty sweet #6. id give 'er an a- cuz the pee came afterward instead of beforehand

Did that raise or lower the grade?

pale_princess
01-01-2009, 09:05 PM
lower!

killtrocity
01-01-2009, 09:48 PM
type 2's rip your butt apart, why are they your favorite?

They are the most solid, so poo doesn't rub off on your asshole and bum hair. If the break is clean like Thaniel said you get the satisfaction of pooping with almost zero cleanup


Just evacuated a dark purple Type 1-3 hybrid. C+.

commando
01-02-2009, 11:01 AM
So who here has dropped a bright green shit before?

Thaniel Buckner
01-02-2009, 11:03 AM
it happens to me regularly during the month of march.


mcdonald's shamrock shakes are too good to resist.

beef curtains
01-02-2009, 12:03 PM
3 fiery # 6s this morning. One beer and some spicy sweet chili doritos have royally messed me up. Damn you stephen colbert for getting me hooked

Ol' Couch Ass
01-02-2009, 12:26 PM
I like number 2s as they are often what I refer to as immaculate defecation ie you drop a deuce and then when you wipe there is nothing to be found on the TP. It's a miracle!

Mariner
01-02-2009, 01:51 PM
guys i love you all and i love this thread / somewhere HOODY's ears are burning

bardy
01-02-2009, 04:24 PM
I took a poop a week or so ago that suggested that either I can't digest onions or that I have a tapeworm. I have had them before (the onion looking things). I think I will just ask the doctor for a blood test when I go for my checkup. They don't cause any real damage except vitamin deficiency and WEIGHT LOSS! woot.

ella
01-02-2009, 04:32 PM
For all the girls out there, you guys ever get the period poops...???

Iknowgrossamiright

I swear though, it's bullshit, it makes that week far more worse then it definitely already and obviously is.

Ol' Couch Ass
01-02-2009, 04:37 PM
SmellyPoop.com - Send a Free Greeting Card, Buy Some Crap, Send Your Friends Poop, PiSSed. (http://www.smellypoop.com/)

bardy
01-02-2009, 05:54 PM
I might have worms guys!!! how gross would that be! too much sushi?

Hillzy
01-02-2009, 07:02 PM
Just dropped an absolutely beautiful #3. Not at all what I was expecting but hey I'm not complaining, it was a great way to start the day.

ravenguy2000
01-02-2009, 07:05 PM
You people are gross.

That is all, carry on. For some reason I can't stop reading this thread anyway.

beef curtains
01-02-2009, 08:42 PM
For all the girls out there, you guys ever get the period poops...???

Iknowgrossamiright

I swear though, it's bullshit, it makes that week far more worse then it definitely already and obviously is.

The smearies???

I'm livin it. 31 days and counting

reprise85
01-02-2009, 08:43 PM
For all the girls out there, you guys ever get the period poops...???

Iknowgrossamiright

I swear though, it's bullshit, it makes that week far more worse then it definitely already and obviously is.

I ALWAYS get this. It is such bullshit. Especially on like the 3rd period day where the blood is almost like gushing and no matter how much I clean my vag before the poop hole blood still gets all over my fucking hand and wrist. Ugh I feel your pain ella.

gross gross gross

beef curtains
01-02-2009, 08:43 PM
You people are gross.

That is all, carry on. For some reason I can't stop reading this thread anyway.

What? How can you have anal sex and be grossed out by poop? Same question for straight guys who are scared of vaginas... you gotta pay to play

bardy
01-02-2009, 11:13 PM
my periods only last like 1.5 days so I dont know what period poops are

ciGarski
01-02-2009, 11:17 PM
my periods only last like 1.5 days so I dont know what period poops are

5-7s.

bardy
01-02-2009, 11:20 PM
oh. I like those. I have issues with 1-3

ciGarski
01-02-2009, 11:22 PM
you like pissing out of your ass?

bardy
01-02-2009, 11:24 PM
I think my intestines have a larger diameter than my butt

ella
01-02-2009, 11:35 PM
I ALWAYS get this. It is such bullshit. Especially on like the 3rd period day where the blood is almost like gushing and no matter how much I clean my vag before the poop hole blood still gets all over my fucking hand and wrist. Ugh I feel your pain ella.

gross gross gross

Oh my, I didn't even know you were a girl... lol

I don't ever gush blood though reprise, you must have some heavy periods. =( Sorry....
Sounds like your shit is much more intense than mine. Poor girl!

I'm Hardcore
01-02-2009, 11:36 PM
this thread is beginning to give me rigor mortis in my pants

ella
01-03-2009, 12:04 AM
Blood and shit gives you a stiffy huh?

I'm Hardcore
01-03-2009, 12:14 AM
:embarass:

Mariner
01-03-2009, 12:44 AM
... you gotta pay to play

could you say that again but more pointed at this non-suspicious bulge in my shirt

beef curtains
01-03-2009, 10:25 AM
could you say that again but more pointed at this non-suspicious bulge in my shirt

your boner comes up out the top of your pants and into your shirt?? :eek:

mxzombie
01-03-2009, 11:44 AM
yours doesn't?

mxzombie
01-03-2009, 11:45 AM
So who here has dropped a bright green shit before?every time i eat a box of crunch berries

Mariner
01-03-2009, 01:12 PM
your boner comes up out the top of your pants and into your shirt?? :eek:


perhaps you misunderstand, governer curtaijevich

beef curtains
01-04-2009, 10:45 AM
yours doesn't?

I don't have one although I use one frequently!

beef curtains
01-04-2009, 10:45 AM
perhaps you misunderstand, governer curtaijevich

I'm sorry to hear you're so small

Mariner
01-04-2009, 02:11 PM
I'm sorry to hear you're so small


do not be sorry for i am well-acquainted with the motion of the ocean. and it may be tiny but it's no " . " (you know who you are)

Shapan
01-04-2009, 03:27 PM
man

i had the most intense dump ive had in a while last night

so i was driving to my friend's place last night to meet a bunch of people that are heading back to their respective schools. right before heading over, though, i had like 3 or 4 pieces of pizza because i hadn't eaten all day. so i got off the freeway, and im just a few miles away from the place, and my butt attacks. it practically arrests the rest of my body and i just have that sensation where you know you fucking need to go and some fucking huge abyss drops to your butt. so instead of going to my friend's place and saying hi and then chilling in the bathroom while taking a monster dump, i stopped by a close coffee place that was open late and i had been to a few times before.

that was the background information, here is the dumping.

i got into the bathroom, which was (thankfully) a single that i could lock up and not feel too conscious about taking a huge dump in. i sit down...

...

this huge ball of dump just plops from my ass. have you guys had that? when you've held a dump in for a few minutes, you enter the bathroom, and it just feels like a tennis ball drops out of your ass in the form of dump in a matter of seconds? possibly a hybrid of type 1 and type 2. so this giant ball comes out of my butt and im just like WOW because of how solid and round this thing was(and felt). i chill there for a bit, because i know that can't be it. type 6 then gracefully flows out, and thats actually when i feel like i was being relieved of whatever foul dump was polluting my butt. the first giant clump was practically like the calm before the storm, as if there was a giant 5 second rumble in your house preceding a steady earthquake that wasnt as acute as the rumble but long enough to make you brace yourself. after the type 6 i was still a little cautious because such a combination of dumps requires caution before leaving a bathroom.

i left sort of herky jerky and didnt really feel at ease until a couple minutes of sitting back down in my car.

A+

mxzombie
01-04-2009, 03:34 PM
just let loose with a solid type 3, ideal dump in the houston int'l airport. take that!

reprise85
01-04-2009, 06:20 PM
Oh my, I didn't even know you were a girl... lol

I don't ever gush blood though reprise, you must have some heavy periods. =( Sorry....
Sounds like your shit is much more intense than mine. Poor girl!

I might have been exaggerating just a little

commando
01-05-2009, 02:43 AM
Shapan, I for one appreciate the care and detail that go into your descriptions. I felt like I was both there and had been there.

ciGarski
01-05-2009, 10:21 PM
yeah that was a pretty crucial post. i enjoyed it.

Tchocky
01-06-2009, 12:50 AM
Type 4 earlier today.

Ever have one of those shits where it feels like something huge was just violently torn out of your gut and you feel completely empty inside afterwards? Yeah...it was one of those shits for me. :p

ciGarski
01-06-2009, 12:01 PM
oh man, im going into the bathroom and not coming out for a half hour.

ciGarski
01-06-2009, 12:01 PM
goooood mornin.

ciGarski
01-06-2009, 12:37 PM
that sucked. now i missed the bus and have to get my car valeted

Thaniel Buckner
07-15-2009, 11:38 AM
mine haven't been good lately. need to change the diet.

mxzombie
07-15-2009, 11:41 AM
yeah mine have been a little loose lately as well, despite an improved diet. i think maybe too much fiber.

dr.benway
07-15-2009, 11:44 AM
yeah mine have been a little loose lately as well, despite an improved diet. i think maybe too much fiber.

yeah too much fiber does it for me

but they say it's good

i heard the japanese think you should do it after every meal
sort of like brushing your teeth

neopryn
07-15-2009, 11:50 AM
past 2 days there's been pain and blood.

redbreegull
07-15-2009, 02:45 PM
Last night I had some crabs and this morning I woke up with terrible stomach/intestinal cramps. During my shower I suddenly had to shit so bad I had to leap out of the tub and onto the toilet. I just made it. I could describe it as explosive diarrhea but that really does not convey the magnitude of what occurred.

exactlythesame
07-15-2009, 05:02 PM
i've been having to force mine, lately -- it's been a while since i've had an urgent situation. if i do, i usually have to hold it cause i'm at a customer's house or on a job site w/o a toilet. probably not the best practice, but such is life.

i know to be healthy you have to go at least once a day.

Shallowed
07-15-2009, 05:09 PM
My shits have been fairly large as of lately.

pale blue eyes
07-15-2009, 07:21 PM
i know to be healthy you have to go at least once a day.

I usually only go once a day in the morning. If I have a big lunch maybe once in the late afternoon but that's about it. I know a guy who goes like a half an hour to an hour after he eats like clockwork. That seems a bit odd to me but at least he knows to expect it.

Joe
07-15-2009, 10:28 PM
two type 4's and a type 6

Shallowed
03-18-2011, 05:30 AM
Just executed the gnarliest shit I've had for a long time.

It was #5 briefly to begin with, then accellerated into #6 territory before veering suddenly to a #7. It felt like my balls were in a vice during the #6 phase, and in the #7 phase my asshole was shooting like a fucking Super Soaker.

FoolofaTook
03-18-2011, 08:31 AM
I've been having the stinkiest shits and farts lately. This happens every time I change the place I live in.

The worst was the last time I lived in Korea. I love kimchi and delved deep as soon as I got back.

For the first two months or so I was farting constantly. I shit you not (no pun intended), I was farting every 15 minutes or so, and these were massive, prolonged farts that sounded like the trumpet blasts that will emanate at the second coming of the Christ LORD.

It was fun to do when I was going on my evening strolls, but it was rather troublesome to keep them contained while teaching. A repressed fart is a very strange thing (feels like you're farting up your rectum).

pale blue eyes
03-18-2011, 09:05 AM
I find that the crappier (no pun intended) the quality of food I eat, the worse / bigger the poo is. In other words: A salad and some Baked Lays? Dainty. Mozzarella sticks and french fries? By the time I am done my legs hurt and I might be sweating.

FoolofaTook
03-18-2011, 11:53 AM
Hott.

ASL?

mxzombie
03-18-2011, 02:26 PM
i'm glad this got bumped.

Trotskilicious
03-18-2011, 02:52 PM
fartyness happens when you change diets, it's your body getting accustomed to the new diet.

when i switched to hummus/vegetable lunches HOLY GOD DUDE. the morning after gas is UNBELIEVABLE and then I would crap like fucking crazy because all the veggies and hummus were cleaning my system out.

back in college i'd eat richly until i ran out of money, then i'd eat just basically crap. when i'd get another month of money to spend i'd go right back to eating out and man i was gassy as fuck those first few days of that.

mxzombie
07-31-2011, 02:22 PM
just dropped a type 5 or 6, couldn't really tell. it all happened so fast. i had to flush pretty quickly to prevent the release of a pervasive stink into the rest of the cafe

redbreegull
07-31-2011, 02:49 PM
Last night I had some crabs and this morning I woke up with terrible stomach/intestinal cramps. During my shower I suddenly had to shit so bad I had to leap out of the tub and onto the toilet. I just made it. I could describe it as explosive diarrhea but that really does not convey the magnitude of what occurred.

oh fuck I remember this. I didn't eat crab again until recently because of this experience.

Just now I took a shit, pretty firm and malleable, you know, the standard, except there was a lot of blood:erm:

what do

mxzombie
07-31-2011, 02:49 PM
please classify your recent shit by selecting a type on the bristol stool scale

Trotskilicious
07-31-2011, 03:18 PM
i had a turdrope in the morning first thing it made me feel lighter, then i started getting gassy and i made a huge pile of fluffy little shit dollops and boy those smell REAL BAD

bahnzah
07-31-2011, 09:20 PM
the past two months have been a roller coaster for me. a recent change in diet without paying attention to the fiber intake took me down to type 5 town for a couple weeks. then i caught that virus, my appetite suffered and they put me on some serious antibiotics and then i was livin' on the 7th layer so to speak for about two weeks.

finally recovered and now i've been sittin pretty around 2's and 3's for the past two weeks. however, i think the pure liquid bowel movements left me with a shitty souvenir: a hemerrhoid!

by the way, how satisfying is it to wipe your ass, look at the toilet paper and see no shit on it.

bahnzah
07-31-2011, 09:30 PM
just showed this thread to my gf and she said "all this talka bout shit makes me wanna shit."

now she's in the shitter playing Pokemon.

ruby edition.

redbreegull
07-31-2011, 09:53 PM
please classify your recent shit by selecting a type on the bristol stool scale

I would say it was a 3 but with enough blood to make it look like a shit floating in a big shirley temple

AndySlash
07-31-2011, 10:26 PM
just showed this thread to my gf and she said "all this talka bout shit makes me wanna shit."

now she's in the shitter playing Pokemon.

ruby edition.

keeper

yo soy el mejor
08-01-2011, 04:20 PM
You people are gross.

That is all, carry on. For some reason I can't stop reading this thread anyway.

.

mxzombie
08-01-2011, 04:26 PM
don't judge me!

yo soy el mejor
08-01-2011, 04:47 PM
no worries. i still think you're pretty cool.

mxzombie
08-01-2011, 04:54 PM
everyone poops, you know.

mxzombie
08-01-2011, 06:40 PM
type 6. too much raisin bran. not pleasant at all.

AndySlash
08-02-2011, 01:24 AM
nothing memorable just now, but i did finish the sunday crossword

Trotskilicious
08-02-2011, 01:43 AM
two stunning, lifechanging turdropes today. Eating vegetables means sitting on the can is a joy.

bahnzah
08-06-2011, 11:31 AM
Just finished off a two-wiper. Fucking godly.

mxzombie
08-07-2011, 10:37 AM
type four, probably brought on by chugging a cup of coffee this morning. i'm glad to have that out.

yo soy el mejor
08-07-2011, 10:39 AM
you don't chug coffee, timberly!

mxzombie
08-07-2011, 10:41 AM
i had to because i was late! spent all morning cooking my breakfast and making a lunch to bring to work, then i didn't have time to eat it so i had to bring my breakfast and eat that during a break! it was oatmeal, with blueberries. pretty delicious.

teh b0lly!!1
08-09-2011, 08:17 AM
i hate it when you kind of sit around and fart because you can't be bothered to go to the bathroom, and then when you do go there's nothing there.
it's kinda like when the villain chases somebody in old horror movies and suddenly disappears, only to show up behind you in the least comfortable moment going "IM COMIN OUT NOW!!!!!".
i mean "BOO".

Mooney
08-09-2011, 08:41 AM
i got a feeling that this coffee and cigarette are going to lead to a type 3 very shortly. if i forget to report back just assume it was type 3.

Trotskilicious
08-09-2011, 07:16 PM
since i've fundamentally changed my diet, eating breakfast and fruits and vegetables and eschewing fast food and avoiding carbs my dumps have been consistently wonderful and make me smile on the pot after a gargantuan turdrope slides effortlessly out of my rectum

D.
08-09-2011, 07:28 PM
no joke. changing my diet was the best thing to ever happen to my ass.

Shallowed
11-11-2011, 03:13 AM
I've been shitting glorious type twos pretty consistently for the last few weeks. Strange thing is is that my current diet is the worst that it has been in my life, I'm pretty much eating processed, sugary junk food for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Duke1497
11-11-2011, 07:58 AM
I usually have either a 2 or a 5

Don't you hate it when you go to take a shit, and you think its gonna be huge, but it turns out to be one giant fart?

Oh, and to the person who posted the chain letter, I haven't forwarded at least 100 of those, and im not dead yet.

Either that, or it's all building up.

If I'm gonna die by chain letter, I'd better go out with a bang

Duke1497
11-11-2011, 08:02 AM
since i've fundamentally changed my diet, eating breakfast and fruits and vegetables and eschewing fast food and avoiding carbs my dumps have been consistently wonderful and make me smile on the pot after a gargantuan turdrope slides effortlessly out of my rectum

This is true, this is true.

I remember I went vegan for a week (to see what it was like), and I has the most satisfying shits I've ever had in my life. I felt like I had accomplished something when I came out of the bathroom.

God, thought I'd never post something like that in my life.

The hell is wrong with me this morning?

yo soy el mejor
11-14-2011, 10:58 AM
when is someone gonna post a pic?

redbreegull
11-14-2011, 04:42 PM
I had Indian food last night. For a country with no toilets, India's cuisine certainly makes for an interesting defecation experience.

Duke1497
11-14-2011, 10:54 PM
I had Indian food last night. For a country with no toilets, India's cuisine certainly makes for an interesting defecation experience.

That Indian shit (no pun intended) rips your stomach apart. Must be all the curry

john's ego
05-27-2012, 10:24 PM
don't close this thread trots

Shallowed
05-27-2012, 10:39 PM
Hmm I think individual shits should have their own threads, it will entice more conversation.

reprise85
05-28-2012, 08:38 AM
i binged on almonds like 5 days ago and since then i've only had type 1 and type 2. dont eat half a pound of almonds, guys.

TuralyonW3
05-28-2012, 11:01 AM
I just took a load off that left my ring burning a little bit. And I don't think I quite got it all out. :-(

duovamp
05-28-2012, 11:03 AM
Call me obsessive compulsive, but I gotta see a shit through.

reprise85
05-28-2012, 11:28 AM
yeah but sometimes that isnt possible

D.
05-28-2012, 11:29 AM
There's something endearing about a rolling shithread that is four years old and only four pages.

My latest was a type 3 and i wasn't that satisfied with it.

reprise85
05-28-2012, 11:40 AM
I have to agree with several posts in this thread, now that I eat like 12 servings of veggies a day and a lot of fiber I go basically after every meal and sometimes in the morning too. And before this almond deal they were always 3-5s. It's a nice feeling to know that your digestive system is functioning optimally.

I had really bad IBS for years and I had 6s like 20 minutes after I ate like 9 times out of 10. I don't know how I lived like that.

Bread Regal
12-18-2013, 08:25 AM
must have taken the biggest shit of my life not more than 10 minutes ago. dropped the wife off at work, grabbed a red bull on the way home, and it quickly became an emergency. i didn't have time to weight myself before evacuating, but it was a massive shit. wish i had a picture. it was lovely.

type 3.

reprise85
12-18-2013, 02:04 PM
love this thread.

redbreegull
12-18-2013, 03:13 PM
Last night I had some crabs and this morning I woke up with terrible stomach/intestinal cramps. During my shower I suddenly had to shit so bad I had to leap out of the tub and onto the toilet. I just made it. I could describe it as explosive diarrhea but that really does not convey the magnitude of what occurred.

I am still traumatized by this experience and think about it sometimes.

reprise85
12-19-2013, 12:52 AM
i've been having type 1s with a touch of type 2 all day. i took some stool softener. type 4 here i come.

killtrocity
12-19-2013, 01:14 AM
I was talking with a colleague from China yesterday and made a reference to "the turtle popping its head out" describing a turd that has crested and needs immediate attention - I believe some also refer to this as "prairie dogging it". Anyway he was utterly confused and is probably still trying to figure out what the hell I was talking about. To explain in detail a turd sticking out of an asshole though was just too awkward. But god damnit the confused expression on his face was priceless

mxzombie
12-19-2013, 05:46 PM
i was very close to taking a picture of the dump i took at work today. it was a type 3 or 4. i don't think i'm ready to publicize that, though.

Trotskilicious
12-19-2013, 05:48 PM
yah sometimes it's such a big rope you want to show someone what you made

mxzombie
12-19-2013, 06:14 PM
it's a kind of pride that SOCIETY forces you to stifle

redbreegull
12-19-2013, 06:18 PM
in my dorm in college I went to the bathroom once and discovered an ENERMOUS turd in the toilet, and this poor bastard kept trying to flush it down. I was like holy shit dude, did you do that? "Yep." This monster was literally the length and girth of a thermos, I have never seen anything like it. He went on to explain to me that he was on a new diet. the real kicker is that his last name was Bouslog.

reprise85
12-19-2013, 07:30 PM
Yesterday, at work, I went into the employee bathroom in the back of the store. I rarely go in there, since I work in the front, but just happened to be back there. One of the toilets was just flushing constantly, with no stopping. Perpetual flush with no ebbing or flowing, just constant mid-flush kind of flushing. I really had to pee, so I went in the other stall and was planning on telling a manager when I got out. Meanwhile, a co-worker comes in and says "what the fuck?" and I start laughing hysterically.

It was really odd.

Trotskilicious
12-19-2013, 07:50 PM
you have to be kind of proud of big, comfortable dumps like you ate well that day.

Trotskilicious
12-19-2013, 07:50 PM
sometimes i take such a big, satisfying crap that it's like my insides are aglow for a half hour

reprise85
12-19-2013, 09:20 PM
yeah, a week or so ago i hadn't gone in a few days and then i pooped like SO MUCH, it took a while and it was just because of the volume, it wasn't hard to pass or anything.

i just had a nice type 4. about 1ft in length, curled like a bass clef. C+, slightly enjoyable.

reprise85
12-19-2013, 09:23 PM
you have to be kind of proud of big, comfortable dumps like you ate well that day.

for me it's more that i ate well the day before. it seems like disruptions will affect my elimination quite quickly, but when everything is running smoothly it's like clockwork.

slunken
12-19-2013, 09:50 PM
true true

reprise85
04-02-2014, 01:02 AM
i cant poop. 4 days. took laxatives. nothing happened.

reprise85
04-02-2014, 01:20 AM
i took some more pills and after school tomorrow im going to get some magnesium citrate if i still havent gone. and if that doesnt work you better believe i'll get an enema, not pooping sucks.

this thread is tmi-free. as in, there's no such thing as tmi.

TuralyonW3
04-02-2014, 10:46 PM
Not pooping is kind of a Jewish thing right reprise? ;-)

(See Portnoy's Complaint)

reprise85
04-02-2014, 10:59 PM
im not even having pellets though :P

reprise85
04-02-2014, 11:01 PM
i still havent pooped but i dont feel sick or anything.

i am concerned as i've tried enemas and more laxatives and a couple other things and i am running out of options. i just drank magnesium citrate and that shit got me cleaned for a colonoscopy so if it doesnt work i think i have to see a doctor.

i keep trying to tell myself that it would be more embarrassing to die of a bowel obstruction than to go to a doctor to make sure i dont have one. plus i'd be dead

reprise85
04-03-2014, 05:59 PM
the magnesium citrate didnt make me violently ill like it was supposed to but it did work after about 12 hours. yay poop!

reprise85
04-03-2014, 06:03 PM
someone else talk about their poop so i don't look like a crazy person pls

Shallowed
04-04-2014, 08:03 AM
In a month it will be the sixth year anniversary of this thread.

Happy shits, everyone. You have all come and gone to post in this thread, but we all shit together in spirit.

mxzombie
04-15-2014, 07:45 PM
Currently in the dying throes of an unpleasant type 5/6. So glad this is almost over

yo soy el mejor
04-15-2014, 07:46 PM
shit stinks.

killtrocity
04-15-2014, 09:00 PM
FUCK WE'RE ALL OLD

Bread Regal
04-15-2014, 09:23 PM
Currently in the dying throes of an unpleasant type 5/6. So glad this is almost over

what an age we live in

Bread Regal
04-15-2014, 09:27 PM
man this BM is really kicking my ass. guess i should update the rolling shits recently taken thread. *whips out iphone*

D.
04-15-2014, 10:04 PM
Whenever I devour black jellybeans because those are the only ones I'll eat, my poop turns purple and green. Shit is unreal.

yo soy el mejor
04-16-2014, 04:11 AM
my buddy and i bought bottles of magnesium citrate (not bad, not bad) before she dropped me off for the evening. the next day we drank them around the same time and kept each other updated on our guts and chatted on the phone when the stuff started working.

mxzombie
04-16-2014, 08:14 PM
man this BM is really kicking my ass. guess i should update the rolling shits recently taken thread. *whips out iphone*

obviously what it was made for. and maps

slunken
04-19-2014, 08:41 AM
Pooping right now bump

Bread Regal
04-19-2014, 03:30 PM
got a water cooler for the house so i've been drinking lots of water lately. actually quite amazing how much effect that has on your BMs. been having 3's all week.

The exploding boy
04-19-2014, 10:37 PM
You really don't want to give me an excuse to talk about my shits.

I obsess over them.

I have IBS too. So there's a lot to talk about. 3 to 4 bowel movements a day worth of shits to talk about in fact. I probably outshit all of you, day in day out. In the war of shits, i will bury you all. In my shits.

reprise85
04-20-2014, 11:03 AM
Yeah I've been drink a ton of water lately. So many hybrid type 3/4 poops. The best kind.

slunken
01-23-2015, 03:10 PM
:beatup:

mxzombie
01-23-2015, 06:36 PM
i started exercising and eating more (trying to tack on some mass) and ever since, i've been hitting the toilet bowl pretty hard with regular footlongs. really great type 3s.

FlamingGlobes
05-21-2016, 02:09 PM
I'm pooping right now.

I'll let you know how it is when I stand up.

FlamingGlobes
05-21-2016, 02:17 PM
OK, I'm finished. It was an okay shit. One of those ones that you put a good ten minutes into and you think you're doing great and then you look in the bowl and go "...that's it?"

FlamingGlobes
05-21-2016, 02:17 PM
It's a feeling I imagine many first-time mothers have after giving birth.

Cool As Ice Cream
05-22-2016, 04:53 AM
lol

reprise85
05-22-2016, 04:33 PM
chart repost needed

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/9e/BristolStoolChart.png

reprise85
05-22-2016, 04:35 PM
i ate a ton of greek yogurt last night and have been drinking ton of water and eating a decent amount of fiber. i had a bunch of type ones today but they were not hard to pass, because of all the water i'm guessing. i'm drinking like a gallon+ of water a day. i drank 3 liters at work today plus a large iced coffee. i'm not even trying. hellooooo summer in florida.

redbreegull
05-22-2016, 06:22 PM
I have kind of a weird poop thing happening. Sometimes my shits are regular old type 3 or 4 (or sometimes they look like 1, but like reprise said, not hard to pass at all).

but.

sometimes, seemingly randomly, I will go through days at a time where I experience a lot of cramping and lower abdominal discomfort, and when this happens my shits tend to be type 5-7. Weird thing is, they are really hard to pass, like sometimes it can take a good half hour or even longer to evacuate a small amount of liquidy poop. I have to assume this is inflammation inside my bowels like the chart says, but what could cause this? My diet is pretty steady and generally high in fiber. I eat a lot of fruits and veggies, healthy fiber-rich cereals, and drink water constantly throughout the day. I haven't been able to identify any irregular food that I sometimes consume that could be causing this.

Thinking back, this has actually been something that has been occurring as long as I can remember, to the point where I don't really even think about it when it happens usually. Maybe I should ask a doctor? Or is it possible my digestive system is just really temperamental?

buzzard
05-22-2016, 06:44 PM
Sounds like bowel cancer.

vixnix
05-22-2016, 06:52 PM
I have kind of a weird poop thing happening. Sometimes my shits are regular old type 3 or 4 (or sometimes they look like 1, but like reprise said, not hard to pass at all).

but.

sometimes, seemingly randomly, I will go through days at a time where I experience a lot of cramping and lower abdominal discomfort, and when this happens my shits tend to be type 5-7. Weird thing is, they are really hard to pass, like sometimes it can take a good half hour or even longer to evacuate a small amount of liquidy poop. I have to assume this is inflammation inside my bowels like the chart says, but what could cause this? My diet is pretty steady and generally high in fiber. I eat a lot of fruits and veggies, healthy fiber-rich cereals, and drink water constantly throughout the day. I haven't been able to identify any irregular food that I sometimes consume that could be causing this.

Thinking back, this has actually been something that has been occurring as long as I can remember, to the point where I don't really even think about it when it happens usually. Maybe I should ask a doctor? Or is it possible my digestive system is just really temperamental?

you could be overdoing the fibre. I think that can cause IBS. My friend's mother ate too much fibre and ended up with IBS. Or it could be something else in your diet. Have you tried a low allergen/irritant diet, like cutting dairy?

vixnix
05-22-2016, 06:53 PM
I hate this thread and it makes me gag but I can't stop reading it. It's like the pimple popping videos.

redbreegull
05-22-2016, 07:14 PM
you could be overdoing the fibre. I think that can cause IBS. My friend's mother ate too much fibre and ended up with IBS. Or it could be something else in your diet. Have you tried a low allergen/irritant diet, like cutting dairy?

I haven't tried cutting dairy, but that did occur to me and I have taken note that I am often fine after consuming a lot of dairy. Maybe it's too much fiber? I googled the symptoms and the most obvious answer is an IBD disorder (is that the same as IBS?). Apparently it could be something like Crohn's... Occasionally I do experience real intestinal pain and serious blockage, but usually when it happens it's mild discomfort.

reprise85
05-22-2016, 08:49 PM
IBS is a diagnosis of exclusion, meaning if they can't find anything functionally wrong with your system but you have symptoms, that's the catch-all. Irritable bowel diseases are specific bowel diseases like ulcerative colitis and chron's disease


How often do you have this happen and are there any other symptoms? Nausea etc?

Throughout my teenage years I had terrible diarrhea every day after meals, usually at least twice. Not sure how I lived with it, but I was used to it and I had other bullshit happening in my life like trying not to get killed every day. So, eventually I came home at 19 years old. Around 19-20 I was tripping on LSD and someone mentioned shitting blood and I got the LSD anxiety where I thought about what my stomach issues and that I did shit blood once in a while and I said it out loud and they were like "WTF you've never gotten treatment for this????"

And that's how I got treatment for it and don't have chronic IBS symptoms anymore.

FoolofaTook
05-25-2016, 01:19 PM
i drank three carrot smoothies and ate ten servings of humus last night.

this morning i defecated in pleasurable agony for twenty minutes.

slunken
05-25-2016, 10:00 PM
When I had my first wisdom tooth pulled out I was on a iiquid diet and on day 5 I had to call in late for work becase I was painfully constipated. Like, super painful.

3 hours later I finally shit out a person-load of what looked liked clay, after squatting on the john like a gargoyle, feet on the seat style.

and that's my poop story!

Run To Me
05-26-2016, 06:58 PM
i drank three carrot smoothies and ate ten servings of humus last night.

this morning i defecated in pleasurable agony for twenty minutes.

Pls post carrot smoothie recipe in slobs thread

scottytheoneand
05-26-2016, 07:28 PM
been back to working out daily and type 4 at least 5 days per week. type 6 and 7 once in a while if i get blasted drunk

scottytheoneand
05-26-2016, 07:30 PM
double shit post

slunken
05-26-2016, 10:02 PM
thinking about getting a foot-stool to help for a proper squatting position

redbreegull
05-26-2016, 10:05 PM
sounds more like a stool stool

slunken
05-26-2016, 10:08 PM
growing up, there was a foot stool in my grandparents bathroom that had painted on it, "if you sprinkle while you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie"

slunken
05-26-2016, 10:09 PM
in reality it should have said "jiggle the handle to stop the water from flowing" that would have been more helpful of a reminder.

slunken
05-26-2016, 10:10 PM
petition to re-name this thread "game of thrones"

signed

redbreegull
05-26-2016, 10:15 PM
petition to re-name this thread "game of thrones"

signed

:rofl:

redbreegull
05-26-2016, 10:16 PM
growing up, there was a foot stool in my grandparents bathroom that had painted on it, "if you sprinkle while you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie"

it makes me irrationally angry when people have stupid cutesy poems or inspirational quotes and shit like that in their bathrooms

teh b0lly!!1
05-26-2016, 10:29 PM
i never understood people who take like 40 minutes to take a shit, bringing in newpapers, ipads and crosswords with them.

i get things done and i get the fuck outta there.

slunken
05-26-2016, 10:35 PM
you've never been married i take it :jimmy:

redbreegull
05-26-2016, 10:36 PM
I'm a very slow shitter, but I don't take reading material into the bathroom or anything. I find it's a good place to think about shit (including shit other than actual shit). I have a detailed plot outline for a science fiction novel which was conceived almost entirely on the toilet

teh b0lly!!1
05-26-2016, 10:39 PM
it involves time travel doesn't it

slunken
05-26-2016, 10:39 PM
do you have a working title?

Run To Me
05-26-2016, 10:58 PM
i never understood people who take like 40 minutes to take a shit, bringing in newpapers, ipads and crosswords with them.

i get things done and i get the fuck outta there.

I should do this but I'm always optimistic about there being more poo to come, so I have about a 10 minute wipe/addl poo window appended to each normal session

This gets me in trouble at work where there's a two stall situation. I've learned to recognize certain colors shoes means wrap it up and run, maybe start holding breath even

redbreegull
05-27-2016, 12:36 AM
there is most certainly no time travel


http://i.imgur.com/cLG6s.gif

mxzombie
05-28-2016, 07:15 AM
what makes you so sure? that's not a very scientist thing to say.

reprise85
06-05-2016, 04:35 PM
oh my god

so today i got home from work and had to take a poop. there was a big turd right away and then a lot of medium sized ones. it took a little while, and while i was there i also cleaned kitty's litter box, which is like two feet away. she was waiting patiently a few feet from the door for me to get done so we could do our typical home-from-work/school cuddling. the door was open. so i guess she had to go too and she just came in and starting doing her thing in the litter box too. which is sort of sweet in a way?

not to be outdone, this little shitter pooped out a poop almost as long as she is. it was seriously, not exaggerating, about a foot long. my jaw hit the floor. damn fiber cat food is fucking working, good god. I don't think I've EVER pooped one long shit that was that long. segments adding up to more, yes. one long rope like that? no, i don't think so.

slunken
06-05-2016, 04:40 PM
your cat was totally showing off.

reprise85
06-05-2016, 04:44 PM
she was!

reprise85
06-05-2016, 04:46 PM
what makes you so sure? that's not a very scientist thing to say.

it's actually very scientist, isn't it? we have very little scientific theory to think it's even possible. without even a basic framework of maybe how it could work with any physics we have any sort of glimpse at now, the most logical answer is that it is not possible or that if it is possible, we could never do it with something meaningful like an object or a person.

redbreegull
06-05-2016, 05:09 PM
netphoria is kind of beautiful in a way

redbreegull
06-05-2016, 05:12 PM
what makes you so sure? that's not a very scientist thing to say.

it's actually very scientist, isn't it? we have very little scientific theory to think it's even possible. without even a basic framework of maybe how it could work with any physics we have any sort of glimpse at now, the most logical answer is that it is not possible or that if it is possible, we could never do it with something meaningful like an object or a person.

there could be time travel, who the fuck knows although it doesn't seem likely that we'll ever figure it out. I was specifically answering a question about a science fiction novel I have been mentally working on while taking shits though, and time travel does not factor in.

redbreegull
06-05-2016, 05:12 PM
except for like the normal way we inch forward through it

slunken
06-05-2016, 05:16 PM
chronos is a fucking joke.

i think a lot of people mistake god for him.

:beatup:

reprise85
06-05-2016, 05:24 PM
there could be time travel, who the fuck knows although it doesn't seem likely that we'll ever figure it out. I was specifically answering a question about a science fiction novel I have been mentally working on while taking shits though, and time travel does not factor in.

does something actually exist if it's unknowable and unobservable

reprise85
06-05-2016, 05:26 PM
and don't talk about god, god either doesn't exist or is knowable at some point.

redbreegull
06-05-2016, 05:31 PM
does something actually exist if it's unknowable and unobservable

a fair point, but technically we do time travel and are all doing so right now. We even know that matter traveling faster in physical space moves slower through time, so we have some theoretical influence over it already. My understanding is that science cannot yet answer why backwards time travel is not possible, i.e. no one knows why we only experience it in one direction.

reprise85
06-05-2016, 05:35 PM
i'm not a philosopher or a physical scientist but if an emergent property of a universe is time, e.g. it just happens because things are related to each other and not exactly the same thing, i don't know why any explanation is really necessary. the past doesn't exist. we can assume the future exists, but that's just probabilistic. if we somehow travel to the 'future' we're really just changing the speed at which we're traveling, no?

redbreegull
06-05-2016, 05:36 PM
edit: nvmd I don't think that even made sense.

redbreegull
06-05-2016, 05:42 PM
I basically agree with all that although I'm not sure if you are saying the very concept of time travel doesn't really make sense?

I generally view the universe in very deterministic parameters, so I guess intuitively to me it makes sense that the universe is an unfolding equation. the present could not exist without everything in the past having happened the exact way that it did, and perhaps in a sense those things are happening eternally whether we can perceive them or not

reprise85
06-05-2016, 07:12 PM
what do you mean by eternally? like the equation doesn't end but gets transformed into different presentations, like logarithms and exponentials? universes are created and then entropy and more universes and entropy?

i guess the question becomes at what point is what anyone does, or any planet does, or any galaxy does, affect the equation - which by definition it can't, if everything is deterministic? at what point is what I do freely up to me, since it doesn't change the nature of how the universe unfolds? can kim jong whoever not bomb the usa because it would lead to the destruction of earth and that would fuck up the equation? or is earth so unimportant that it's like the 100000000000000000000000000th digit of pi? it seems to me like it would be a very large amount of choice for each individual, if you look at it that way. but that's kinda looking at it backwards where you are look at it from it forward

i kinda went off on a different topic there kinda but... yeah i dont think time travel to the future makes sense to be called time travel, unless you can go back in time it's just 'fast travel'. im probably wrong, where's killtrocity when you need him. or luke de spa :(

reprise85
06-05-2016, 07:17 PM
i have no idea what im talking about. totally liberal arts fart sniffing going on

Run To Me
06-05-2016, 07:39 PM
i have no idea what im talking about. totally liberal arts fart sniffing going on

Nah I got it

Keep going, I think we're on to something

Just think, if we all work together maybe we could build the 1st time machine. Then, armed with a book of sports facts from the future and fuzzy's Vegas connections, we could make killions and retire happy

Let's do this! Ok, sorry gotta go now time2wipe

redbreegull
06-06-2016, 12:18 AM
there is no free will. choice is real in that we experience it, but every choice we make is ultimately the outcome of every input you have ever experienced, the same way an apple falling from a tree is the product of an unfolding equation. the entire universe had to happen that exact way for that apple to fall from that tree in that spot at that precise time

we're all just falling apples experiencing some kind of cosmic self-awareness trip

reprise85
06-06-2016, 12:25 AM
of course there's no free will as in you have some kind of choice outside of what has been input into you, however i think detailed stuff like what i eat for dinner may be so irrelevantly miniscule to the universe that regardless of what i eat (presuming I don't say, stay in the house instead of go out like nature intended), it doesn't matter to the cosmic equation. so in that way, there may be some soft determinism b/c the details just don't matter that much.

am i explaining myself well? you're not important enough for your every movement to matter to the universe. whether you eat pb & j or grilled cheese is none of the universe's concern, and any difference it makes in 'reality' is within the confidence interval/standard error margin, i.e. it's not statistically significant

teh b0lly!!1
06-06-2016, 12:44 AM
there is no free will. choice is real in that we experience it, but every choice we make is ultimately the outcome of every input you have ever experienced, the same way an apple falling from a tree is the product of an unfolding equation. the entire universe had to happen that exact way for that apple to fall from that tree in that spot at that precise time

we're all just falling apples experiencing some kind of cosmic self-awareness trip

tbh there's nothing here i hadn't thought of myself before in different ways, but i got a nice 'whoa' moment reading this post.

these days i'm watching the nba playoffs, and watching basketball games really makes me go me<gf>ta on all that universe stuff. every game is so random, there is such a ridiculous amount of variables that could have gone either way, but went only one, thus changing everything to follow. and it continues to branch out and multiply endlessly and i can't help but think how things would fold out if that tiny little thing would happen slightly differently.

a single simple thing like a game of basketball is like a drop of water running across an infinite ridge of dried up, broken ground, and it only trails a single track. i get mental blackouts thinking about this.

redbreegull
06-06-2016, 12:53 AM
of course there's no free will as in you have some kind of choice outside of what has been input into you, however i think detailed stuff like what i eat for dinner may be so irrelevantly miniscule to the universe that regardless of what i eat (presuming I don't say, stay in the house instead of go out like nature intended), it doesn't matter to the cosmic equation. so in that way, there may be some soft determinism b/c the details just don't matter that much.

am i explaining myself well? you're not important enough for your every movement to matter to the universe. whether you eat pb & j or grilled cheese is none of the universe's concern, and any difference it makes in 'reality' is within the confidence interval/standard error margin, i.e. it's not statistically significant

that makes sense and of course we don't really know because these kinds of questions exist in the misty grey beyond where the lines between scientific knowledge and philosophy are unclear, but as far as I know, nothing has ever been observed behaving in a non-deterministic manner above the sub-atomic level. Human judgements on what seems significant or statistically nominal probably do not apply to the cause and effect universe. We are so small already that what you eat for dinner and what you do with your entire life are virtually at the same level on a universal scale. probably nothing happens by accident. every moving particle and wave of light in the history of the universe was determined at First Cause :cry:

redbreegull
06-06-2016, 12:54 AM
LDS also believed in the likelihood of a deterministic universe

jus sayin

reprise85
06-06-2016, 12:55 AM
tbh there's nothing here i hadn't thought of myself before in different ways, but i got a nice 'whoa' moment reading this post.

these days i'm watching the nba playoffs, and watching basketball games really makes me go me<gf>ta on all that universe stuff. every game is so random, there is such a ridiculous amount of variables that could have gone either way, but went only one, thus changing everything to follow. and it continues to branch out and multiply endlessly and i can't help but think how things would fold out if that tiny little thing would happen slightly differently.

a single simple thing like a game of basketball is like a drop of water running across an infinite ridge of dried up, broken ground, and it only trails a single track. i get mental blackouts thinking about this.

i mean it's interesting and everything but since none of it actually matters since it's all over when u die, i feel like the existential trip of obsessing over the complexity of life and the infinite paths that every decision you make stops from happening, or if your life would have played out differently if you had done this and not that (big and small things), it's best to just focus on your life and what actually does exist, because what you have is probabalistically extremely rare

what i mean by that is, the fact that the cells in your brain and body have come to exist and that you are thinking thoughts was almost impossible. like. it's basically impossible. yet here you are. and you want to waste it, by thinking about how you almost weren't, or won't be soon, or why it matters or why it doesnt is just, really, time wasted.

it's important because in order to live a thoughtful life you need to have these thoughts. and they will recur throughout your lifetime. that's a good thing. but i think we need not dwell on them longer than it takes to learn whatever lesson we need from it at this particular time, because seriously your life just started and it's almost over and you will never experience it again and this 70 year period out of the infinite that have existed and will exist is your only chance to do anything, so go fucking do it you idiot

redbreegull
06-06-2016, 12:59 AM
http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/48/4897112b5d19d185f175ffb8299362d16e3ef94d52e1d4e35b f17956ea77116e.jpg

teh b0lly!!1
06-06-2016, 01:01 AM
it's important because in order to live a thoughtful life you need to have these thoughts. and they will recur throughout your lifetime. that's a good thing. but i think we need not dwell on them longer than it takes to learn whatever lesson we need from it at this particular time, because seriously your life just started and it's almost over and you will never experience it again and this 70 year period out of the infinite that have existed and will exist is your only chance to do anything, so go fucking do it you idiot

mean lady

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/JPmDiOcDIpU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

reprise85
06-06-2016, 01:02 AM
that makes sense and of course we don't really know because these kinds of questions exist in the misty grey beyond where the lines between scientific knowledge and philosophy are unclear, but as far as I know, nothing has ever been observed behaving in a non-deterministic manner above the sub-atomic level. Human judgements on what seems significant or statistically nominal probably do not apply to the cause and effect universe. We are so small already that what you eat for dinner and what you do with your entire life are virtually at the same level on a universal scale. probably nothing happens by accident. every moving particle and wave of light in the history of the universe was determined at First Cause :cry:

i agree they all move at the same level on a universal scale. absolutely, we are that insignificant. what i'm saying is why would the universal equation even need to take into account these things in its original First Cause, if they are so meaningless. if the equation just needs to equal 1, .99999999999999999999 repeating = 1 so it is not necessary for 1 to equal 1, for 1 to equal 1. what i'm saying is that the universe does not need to be strictly deterministic, for it to be for all practice purposes, strictly deterministic.

this doesn't prove that you have any freedom in your mind or choice but i think theoretically, it doesn't prove that you don't. .9999.... = 1. they are the same, but not, but yeah they're the same.

reprise85
06-06-2016, 01:04 AM
mean lady

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/JPmDiOcDIpU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

i mean life is meaningless also and what you do means less than shit i'm just saying that's the other way to look at it at least you are experiencing, the alternative was to never experience. which is really the same thing but right at this moment, it's not. but really it is. but not right now. AGAINST ALL ODDS. and i mean, literally all the odds.

teh b0lly!!1
06-06-2016, 01:07 AM
i mean it's interesting and everything but since none of it actually matters since it's all over when u die, i feel like the existential trip of obsessing over the complexity of life and the infinite paths that every decision you make stops from happening, or if your life would have played out differently if you had done this and not that (big and small things), it's best to just focus on your life and what actually does exist, because what you have is probabalistically extremely rare


technically anything existing after crossing so many junctures and ending up at a particular place is very rare - thus rendering any possible outcome rare and unrare at the same time, because if no two outcomes are alike that concept is irrelevant.

btw i didn't mean what i said in a discouraging way - i just marvel at that thought. i feel breathless by it. it doesn't necessarily make me feel negatively or positively, just astounded by the sheer unbelievable complexity of it.

while thinking about the vastness of the universe can make many people feel hopeless or oppressed by insignificance, i feel very liberated by it. whenever shit gets me down i try to remember that we are much, much less than a single grain of sand on an infinite beach, and that i take myself waaaay to seriously to be brought down by that stuff and not enjoy what i can. well i try to anyway.

honestly can't tell if any of this comes off as profound or absolute new age stoner bullshit. gonna hit submit before i change my mind

reprise85
06-06-2016, 01:08 AM
http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/48/4897112b5d19d185f175ffb8299362d16e3ef94d52e1d4e35b f17956ea77116e.jpg

i respect these people but the older i get the more i feel like their philosophical awareness is just as stupid as anything else. so we're the universe experiencing itself. cool? that's the answer? let's kill ourselves immediately.

teh b0lly!!1
06-06-2016, 01:11 AM
yeah rep we basically typed out the same thing at the same time

but in different ways

BAM
universe

reprise85
06-06-2016, 01:12 AM
technically anything existing after crossing so many junctures and ending up at a particular place is very rare - thus rendering any possible outcome rare and unrare at the same time, because if no two outcomes are alike that concept is irrelevant.

btw i didn't mean what i said in a discouraging way - i just marvel at that thought. i feel breathless by it. it doesn't necessarily make me feel negatively or positively, just astounded by the sheer unbelievable complexity of it.

while thinking about the vastness of the universe can make many people feel hopeless or oppressed by insignificance, i feel very liberated by it. whenever shit gets me down i try to remember that we are much, much less than a single grain of sand on an infinite beach, and that i take myself waaaay to seriously to be brought down by that stuff and not enjoy what i can. well i try to anyway.

honestly can't tell if any of this comes off as profound or absolute new age stoner bullshit. gonna hit submit before i change my mind

I feel similarly most of the time, really. I am glad that my life is so insignificant that I can't really screw it up. If that makes sense? But instead of seeing myself as less than a grain of sand I see myself as a light so small that no one can see that it's on or when it goes out.

This might reflect my intimacy issues lol

reprise85
06-06-2016, 01:15 AM
yeah rep we basically typed out the same thing at the same time

but in different ways

BAM
universe

cool beans

teh b0lly!!1
06-06-2016, 01:16 AM
i just fucking love that this conversation is happening in the rolling "shits recently taken" thread, haha

reprise85
06-06-2016, 01:18 AM
we've soiled philosophy's armchair

i tried to make that funny but i cant get the wording right

killtrocity
06-06-2016, 09:12 PM
of course a poop thread would d/evolve into a discussion of causal determinism... well anyway I just wanted to mention that people tend to inappropriately attribute mystical qualities to quantum physics, specifically the uncertainty principle. I don't know that the uncertainty inherent to subatomic measurements/calculations constitutes any sort of refutation of classical determinism, rather it is merely a problem resulting from attempting to measure particles smaller than atoms with machinery and detectors which are themselves comprised of atoms. Any sort of measurement is going to affect the particle being measured. It's not like the electrons know we're looking at them and start acting differently or something