"Hello Balls,

If arriving later than 5 PM, there will be an envelope attached to the main entrance door. It will have your name on it and inside simple instructions on how to get in to the hotel.

Thank you,
Emma"

i just found out ive been emailing people under the name 'Balls Mahoney' god this is embarassing. it must have been a bullshit email account i registered a long time ago to register on mesesageboards that eventually became my primary email on yahoo. but i rarley use email so i didn't even realize this. i been emailing places of employment and schools under this email!

but that's a lie because you have no intention of getting a job

what

just who the hell do you think you are

hello my most friendliest of friends!!!!!

just who the hell do you think you are

you just think you have the special rights to everything don't you

^he got it from me a couple years ago

and i got it from a wrestlers name apparently.

i was pretty disappointed when i realized i must have heard the wrestler's name before. leonard "big balls" mahoney sounded so.. grand. until i realized there's already a balls mahoney. maybe i'll change my last name to something hilarious that isn't mahoney. there aren't many names as hilarious as mahoney. i'll give this some thought

MacGuffin

how about meat flaps loretta

Hello balls, (Hello, hello.)
How'd things go for you today?
Don't you miss her.
Since she up and walked away?
And I'll bet you dread to spend another lonely night with me,
But lonely balls, I'll keep you company.

hi julio

hi lauren

this sort of thing has been a lingering fear of mine since my very earliest days on the internet.

hi julio.

hi lauren.

hi tcm

ahaha