View Full Version : Rules for Audiences of Rock


The Admiral
04-06-2002, 07:20 PM
In case you haven't read it yet, I thought this was appropriate following last night's Zwan show. I think Buddyhead hit everything on the head (especially number 20, in the particular case of Zwan's shows)...

http://www.buddyhead.com/music/rulesofrock/audience.html

Fish
04-06-2002, 08:53 PM
Buddyhead is for the children

Mayfuck
04-06-2002, 09:41 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by The Admiral:
In case you haven't read it yet, I thought this was appropriate following last night's Zwan show. I think Buddyhead hit everything on the head (especially number 20, in the particular case of Zwan's shows)...

http://www.buddyhead.com/music/rulesofrock/audience.html</font>

Too many trips to the ballet? God forbid people enjoy themselves at concerts, you try-hard elitist fuck.

sawdust restaurants
04-06-2002, 09:59 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Mayfuck:
Too many trips to the ballet? God forbid people enjoy themselves at concerts, you try-hard elitist fuck.</font>

YeehaJamesIha
04-06-2002, 10:13 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Mayfuck:
Too many trips to the ballet? God forbid people enjoy themselves at concerts, you try-hard elitist fuck.</font>

Eulogy
04-06-2002, 11:03 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Mayfuck:
Too many trips to the ballet? God forbid people enjoy themselves at concerts, you try-hard elitist fuck.</font>


(And whenever I see someone singing at a concert, I can never actually hear them.)

The Admiral
04-07-2002, 12:41 AM
Tough online exterior or no, Mayfuck, it comes down to something called "common fucking courtesy." It's called not bringing unwanted attention to yourself after a whole room of people have paid money to pay attention to the people on stage. You might fancy this great notion that there's some wonderful community converging on the floor to experience a great event collectively; in reality, there are five people on stage that I'm wanting to hear without being bumped by some hyper 15-year-old whose mom forgot to pack his Aderol before his trip to the show or without putting up with a dipshit who really thinks he's gonna get a blowjob because he knows that the Pumpkins had a song called Pulseczar (oooh, he must own Earphoria).

Do people have to stand rigid and silent?

Nope.

Should they be trying their best to be the life of the fucking party?

They'd better not be.

[This message has been edited by The Admiral (edited 04-07-2002).]

Mayfuck
04-07-2002, 12:42 AM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by The Admiral:
Tough online exterior or no, Mayfuck, it comes down to something called "common fucking courtesy." It's called not bringing unwanted attention to yourself after a whole room of people have paid money to pay attention to the people on stage. You might fancy this great notion that there's some wonderful community converging on the floor to experience a great event collectively; in reality, there are five people on stage that I'm wanting to hear without being bumped by some hyper 15-year-old whose mom forgot to pack his Aderol before his trip to the show or putting up with a dipshit who really thinks he's gonna get a blowjob because he knows that the Pumpkins had a song called Pulseczar (oooh, he must own Earphoria).

Do people have to stand rigid and silent?

Nope.

Should they be trying their best to be the life of the fucking party?

They'd better not be.</font>

I bet you're fat too.

The Admiral
04-07-2002, 12:48 AM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Mayfuck:
I bet you're fat too.</font>

Only in the skull, man, only in the skull.

Folladori
04-07-2002, 03:36 AM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by The Admiral:
Only in the skull, man, only in the skull.</font>

FATHEAD FATHEAD ROFLOLOLOLOLLOOLOOLLOLLOLOL

I thought it was kind of a funny piece, though. Needlessly elitist, but that's why it was funny.

I break rule #9 at almost every show I see. And I'm going to see Guided by Voices tomorrow, where everyone sings along and shouts out songtitles every night.

------------------
http://allstarpowerup.com/incoming/joeshill-gimp.jpg

All Star Powerup Music. The one, true way to goodbye depression. (http://www.allstarpowerup.com/)
AIM- JetsPartTwo

Irrelevant
04-07-2002, 03:53 AM
rule 20 huh? i stood near the back and sang along with the songs i knew. i also did an air drum here and there! oh no! i ruined the concert!

The Admiral
04-07-2002, 04:27 AM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Irrelevant:
oh no! i ruined the concert!</font>

No, but it looked pretty dumb.

Lie
04-07-2002, 08:01 AM
Screw common fucking courtesy...I would be happy if the people in front of me would just be kind enough not to elbow me in the face. I'll sing, dance, scream, and cry as loud as I damn well please. If I pay good money for a ticket I'm damn well going to enjoy myself. There are some people who should not be allowed to sing at rock concerts, not be allowed to dance, and not be allowed to push people around, but it's a fact of life and I'd rather get shoved around a little bit than be forced to stand and watch my favorite band completely emotionless or show my ticket to security every time I have to go to the bathroom. And if the guy next to me is playing air guitar, I'm not going to let that ruin my concert experience, in fact, I'm not even going to give a fuck, and if you notice or care about things like that at concerts, that you're probably not having much fun anyway, so go home.

------------------
Boot the grime of this world in the crotch, dear.

Fish
04-07-2002, 09:28 AM
Well done everyone who took this way too seriously!

Mirror_Untrue
04-07-2002, 12:12 PM
Also, if the singer on stage does decide to either: pass the mic around for the "sing along" song, or: motion to the audience to sing aloud at key moments, and you know beforehand that your singing ability is severely limited, you MUST waive your "sing along" rights. Leave the crowd participation parts to those that do not fall under the "musically retarded" category.

Don't be that fat lame bitch that gets crushed at the front of the stage at the barrier. Every time there's a real big show, some grotesquely fat chick thinks it would be swell to get as close to the singer of Blink182 as possible, and that nobody else there has the same idea. 3 songs into the set, the bouncers have to pull her obese fainting ass over the barricade. Don't be this pathetic piece of pasty lard.

sawdust restaurants
04-07-2002, 12:19 PM
You all are WAY too fucking concerned with what other people ought to be doing. As if you were the end-all, be-all supreme deity of rock concerts.

bittertrance
04-07-2002, 02:12 PM
isnt the point of rock to have no rules?

Folladori
04-07-2002, 02:37 PM
Well, it's usually to make music with guitars and drums, but I'll accept that.

Example
04-07-2002, 02:48 PM
The Admiral

Nothing/everything
04-07-2002, 02:55 PM
The one thing that i find extremely annoyig is continouos talking. If you're more interested in your fellow concertgo-ers new pants then the band, just fuck off.

Red Wine Cage
04-07-2002, 03:11 PM
Man, all I did at Zwan was yell "whooo" and bunch of times [mostly during solos or in between songs] and "you fucking rule a few times and I know the guy in front of me kept slightly looking back at me. But, I didn't care cos I drove two hours and spent money I shouldn't have.

It was actually kinda sad how UN excited the crowd was. Most the people around me just did the standard rock on sign and cheering after the songs. I was like "c'mon get excited people"

eh. i enjoyed myself.

Best Looking Boy
04-07-2002, 03:29 PM
Fucking buddyhead. Buddyhead isn't cool.

Fish
04-07-2002, 03:52 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Nothing/everything:
The one thing that i find extremely annoyig is continouos talking. If you're more interested in your fellow concertgo-ers new pants then the band, just fuck off.</font>

Even when i'm not taping, this gets on my tits. When I go to a concert I like to listen to the music, not some dick head talking about nothing. The worst was when I saw a STP acoustic set in a tiny club in London. There were like 50-100 people at the most, and yet STILL people talked through all the songs.

trine
04-07-2002, 04:46 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Nothing/everything:
The one thing that i find extremely annoyig is continouos talking. If you're more interested in your fellow concertgo-ers new pants then the band, just fuck off.</font>

Thats the one thing that pisses me off at concerts......talking through everything.
SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH

------------------
build a man a fire and he is warm for a day... set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life...

nevermind
04-07-2002, 04:54 PM
if you little babies hear somebody talking thru yer shit at a show..stop being a whiny little fool and DECK THE DIPSHIT. jesus, is it THAT hard? not like you're gonna get caught in the midst of 1000+ other people anyways..pfft.

Graveflower
04-07-2002, 05:46 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by nevermind:
if you little babies hear somebody talking thru yer shit at a show..stop being a whiny little fool and DECK THE DIPSHIT. jesus, is it THAT hard? not like you're gonna get caught in the midst of 1000+ other people anyways..pfft.</font>

This holds especially true for a 300 person capacity venue with huge bouncers around at all times.

Travis Meeks
04-07-2002, 07:00 PM
reading this was funny...but seeing you people take this way too seriously was even more funny

------------------
Chance and chance alone has a message for us. Everything that occurs out of necessity, everything expected, repeated day in and day out, is mute. Only chance can speak to us. We read its message much as gypsies read the images made by coffee grounds at the bottom of a cup."

Best Looking Boy
04-07-2002, 11:30 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Travis Meeks:
reading this was funny...but seeing you people take this way too seriously was even more funny

</font>
buddyhead isn't cool, shut up.

Travis Meeks
04-07-2002, 11:40 PM
neither are you

zekix
04-07-2002, 11:53 PM
So.....is wearing the band's shirt to the show REALLY a no-no?

Best Looking Boy
04-07-2002, 11:55 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Travis Meeks:
neither are you</font>
I wish my username was Travis Meeks.

The Admiral
04-07-2002, 11:58 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by zekix:
So.....is wearing the band's shirt to the show REALLY a no-no?</font>

C'mon, don't you have Comedy Central? They show "P.C.U." once or twice a day.

And yeah, it's a no-no, unless, of course, you don't own any other type of shirt, in which case you probably shouldn't leave the house at all.

[This message has been edited by The Admiral (edited 04-08-2002).]

todustiguess
04-08-2002, 12:04 AM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Fish:
Well done everyone who took this way too seriously!</font>

Nothing shits me more than dickheads who come to gigs to talk. What the fuck? - ve paid my money and Im going to have good time any way I want - fuck everyone else" - pathetic - show some fucking common courtesy. Ive paid money to listen to music being played and watch it being made. All you fucking other inconsiderate pricks who think that its your right to have a good time by acting like teenage fucking dipshit fan[atics] should fuck off home to mama. think about someone else for a change...

Fish
04-08-2002, 04:15 AM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Best Looking Boy:
buddyhead isn't cool, shut up.</font>

Buddyhead is cooler than you could be, even if you dressed up and acted like the fonze, while shooting up on heroin and listening to Guns and Roses.

Best Looking Boy
04-08-2002, 04:17 AM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Fish:
Buddyhead is cooler than you could be, even if you dressed up and acted like the fonze, while shooting up on heroin and listening to Guns and Roses.</font>
umm the icarus line rules buy their album because my cousin is their singer

Fish
04-08-2002, 06:04 AM
Mono is a great album, and Icarus Line are an ace live band. They are one of the few bands who's shows are actually exciting.

New Art Rioter
04-08-2002, 03:44 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Fish:
Even when i'm not taping, this gets on my tits. When I go to a concert I like to listen to the music, not some dick head talking about nothing. The worst was when I saw a STP acoustic set in a tiny club in London. There were like 50-100 people at the most, and yet STILL people talked through all the songs. </font>

Yeah. Esp if they're talking really fucking loudly about complete trivial bullshit. Only thing worse is mobile phones going off loudly and PEOPLE ACTUALLY ANSWERING THEM. Nngh.

Mathboy
04-08-2002, 08:36 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Travis Meeks:
reading this was funny...but seeing you people take this way too seriously was even more funny

</font>


Yeah, what the hell. Did having a sense of humor go out with POGs and slap bracelets or something?

THRILLHO
04-08-2002, 08:48 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Mathboy:

Yeah, what the hell. Did having a sense of humor go out with POGs and slap bracelets or something?</font>

POGs went out of style!??

starlasomasiva
04-09-2002, 07:17 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Never_Nohen:
"9) Tall dudes that stand at the front of the stage should have their testicles pureed. You're tall dumb ass, get in the back, or at least back a few rows."

Indeed. http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/mad.gif You have no idea what a pain in the ass it is to be a 5'1" chick who stood in line for hours, or who's otherwise struggled and fought to get up to the front, because it's the only place you can see anything from, let alone breathe, and then still not be able to see a fucking thing for the entire show, because the two burly six and a half foot tall drunk guys decide they have to cling to the rail and shove their elbows in your face, or try to break your arm if you manage to get a grip. Look dude, you're twice my size, why don't you let me stand in front of you, and then we'll both be able to see, and what's more, it'll give you some breathing room, 'cause you won't be crushed against the rail so hard. Crikey. *all for testicle pureeing*

And just for the record, I'm not "that pathetic little chick." I've had to be pulled out all of once in my entire life, and that's 'cause I was 15 and at the Arising and it was my first pit show evar, and I had no idea what I was doing. http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/tongue.gif

- Never, who still has her POGs.</font>

hey, i know how you feel. im 5'2'' and about 105 lbs. im a fiesty bitch, though. the zwan shows have had some nice crowds, but ive had to kick some ass at previous shows. ive been kicked in the head by fuckin crowdsurfers, ive been crushed against the rail, ive been dogpiled when billy walked to my side of the stage at a sp show and a bunch of idiots dove on top of me to try to touch billy's shoe, ive been the unlucky victim of moshpits forming around me at manson shows, but i asked for it, i didnt go to the balcony like little girls should do, so the only option is to deck the fuckers in the face and pinch the crowdsurfers really fucking hard (if youve ever gotten the worst titty twister in your life while crowd surfing, youre welcome. http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/smile.gif )

oh, the only thing thats been left out are the stupid whores who dance like strippers and try to seduce the band the entire time they are playing. for gods sake, did anyone see the annoying bitch with the black hat at the columbia zwan show? perfect example. by the way, someone from the stage crew motioned for her to go backstage at the end of the show. i bet she fucked everyone back there.


------------------
special thanks to everyone for their continued support and a fuck you to those who flame me.
-jill

Andrew Fogelsong
04-10-2002, 05:30 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Travis Meeks:
reading this was funny...but seeing you people take this way too seriously was even more funny</font>

Fonzie
04-10-2002, 05:51 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Fish:
Buddyhead is cooler than you could be, even if you dressed up and acted like the fonze, while shooting up on heroin and listening to Guns and Roses.</font>

Nothing is cooler tnhan that.

BTW - it's "The FONZ". no "e".

Oh yeah - props to The Admiral. It's all Troo.



------------------
http://www.fiftiesweb.com/fashion/fonzie.jpg