View Full Version : prom. with a guy. DONT THINK SO.


peabody
04-16-2002, 11:44 AM
So, I asked my good friend Daniel to go to my prom with me. He said yes, and got his tuxedo as did I.

My parents asked whom I was going with and I said, "Janelle Sealy," who doesn't exist, really. They've banned me from dating, seeing other guys, and pretty much anything sexual, but anyways, I thought that they'd surely say no to this...So, I lied. http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/frown.gif

So my brother finds out from me, and I usually trust him, but he went and told my parents yesterday. They called the school. They got the principal totally pissed off, and told him, "not to worry," because they won't let me go. They threatened me last night with having me arrested for running away and/or kidnapping on Daniel if I tried to go with Daniel.

So...we all got in a big fight...threw things, hit things, and called each other names. After a while, we calmed down and I gave them some damn good points about why I should be allowed to go and why it would be safe for me to go, which I fully believe it is. They said that they've reconsidered and now think it is pretty ok, as long as we run realllllly fast to my car after prom, which I was planning to do anyways.

Now, I have to meet with the principal tomorrow morning. I went to him today to see when he was free, and when I walked into his office he said(in a very pissed off tone), "I'm not ready to talk to you. Get out."

So...I'm confused.

Can the school bar me from going with my date?

Travis Meeks
04-16-2002, 11:50 AM
damn, must suck to be gay eh?

I don't see how the school can stop you from going. Be an American and sue them if they do.....oh yeah, kick your brother's ass

Minipudge
04-16-2002, 11:51 AM
that really sucks - at least you have balls to attempt it. I never would have...

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Bootlist: http://minipudge.00server.com

peabody
04-16-2002, 11:51 AM
ok, glad we got one worthless response out of the way.

Graveflower
04-16-2002, 11:51 AM
I think you could raise hell with the media if they did try and stop you. Whether or not they do, is if they're prepared to deal with that.

peabody
04-16-2002, 11:53 AM
but I don't to "raise hell." i want to go to my prom with someone i will have fun with. that's it. not a statement about me being gay, not a statement about me being who i want to be. just i want to have a good times.

Travis Meeks
04-16-2002, 11:53 AM
I would like to make another worthless response

thank you

peabody
04-16-2002, 11:55 AM
"want" should've been inserted in that last respone.

peabody
04-16-2002, 11:56 AM
god damn. when i type fast i make mistakes! i have good subject verb agreement skills!

Graveflower
04-16-2002, 11:59 AM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by peabody:
i want to go to my prom with someone i will have fun with. just i want to have a good times.</font>

But if they stop you from going, how will you get that?

Anyway, they probably won't actually do anything. Your principal seems like a real winner, though.

BlueStar
04-16-2002, 11:59 AM
If I recall correctly, there have been instances of same sex prom dates and schools trying to stop them.

The school really has no right to stop you and Daniel from going together. Your principle's behavior was kind of odd, though. When you meet with him, try using the same points that you used with your parents. Also, you could just play the "just friends" card. People without dates will often go to prom with a friend or group of friends...so you could always just claim that Daniel isn't actually a "date". (But, that is ridiculous and you really shouldn't have to do such a thing.)

Anyways, good luck...I'm sure it'll all work out.

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~~Samantha~~
AIM: MercuryAdore

http://homepages.nyu.edu/~sag249/sigankle.jpg

ravenguy2000
04-16-2002, 12:00 PM
I feel blessed that I have parents that actually encouraged me to go to prom with a guy, but alas, I didn't have the balls to do it. http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/frown.gif

Take it as a positive thing that you can actually openly talk with your parents about such things from time to time.

Oh, yeah, and kick your brother's ass.

peabody
04-16-2002, 12:01 PM
if it comes to me having to raise hell, then so be it, but i highly doubt it will.

i just don't see why people are soooo concerened with whom i'll be dancing with.

peabody
04-16-2002, 12:02 PM
my brother is 6'2", 210 pounds, and on his way into the naval academy, so i don't think i could kick his ass.

Travis Meeks
04-16-2002, 12:04 PM
or you can just stop being so gay

darcy_is_sexy
04-16-2002, 12:05 PM
that sucks! i can't believe anyone would do something like that to you. at least your parents were somewhat rational and gave you a chance to explain yourself.

kidnapping? wtf? i can't even begin to comprehend the stupidity of the school administrators. this is the type of situation where the media could make a huge difference, but you already said you don't want to make a big deal out of it. if the principal seems unwilling to budge, threaten to alert the media about the situation. you don't have to actually alert them, though.

peabody
04-16-2002, 12:06 PM
well...anywho.

my parents are more concerened with my safety, so they say.

i don't see any safety issues except for a few people calling me names or saying "ew."

people at my school don't fight. they are assholes, and horrible people smetimes, but they won't fight unless they are EXTREMELY provoked. i don't see how barely dancing with a guy extremely provokes them.

hey, i'll also have about 7 bitchy, black, new york girls ready to fight for me. http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/smile.gif

BlueStar
04-16-2002, 12:07 PM
Some articles you want to read:

http://www.aclu.org/features/f052600a.html

http://www.aclu.org/issues/gay/prom.html

http://www.cnn.com/2000/US/05/31/gay.prom.date/

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~~Samantha~~
AIM: MercuryAdore

http://homepages.nyu.edu/~sag249/sigankle.jpg

Mirror_Untrue
04-16-2002, 12:07 PM
This reminds me of something which is all over the news where I live. There's this guy who goes to a catholic high school and wants to take his boyfriend to the prom with him. The school said that it goes against the "objective of the catholic church" and is not letting him go. He presented it to the board and they told him no as well, so he's suing them. His parents are totatlly behind him though.

august pumpkin
04-16-2002, 12:07 PM
technically, i don't think the school could *bar* you from going w/ daniel, but they probably would pressure you to no end in an attempt to break you down and change your mind. my high school had a similar attitude, i remember rumors of a same-sex couple and how everyone was determined to stop it. (of course they didn't want people to go alone either...they charged a girl full price when she didn't have a date...) good luck, just be rational and calm and make your principal look like the one who is overreacting.

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"music was like an alarm clock for me as a teenager and still keeps me from falling asleep in the comfort of my freedom"-bono

ravenguy2000
04-16-2002, 12:08 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by peabody:
my brother is 6'2", 210 pounds, and on his way into the naval academy, so i don't think i could kick his ass.</font>

Well then I'd kick his ass for you.

peabody
04-16-2002, 12:09 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by darcy_is_sexy:
that sucks! i can't believe anyone would do something like that to you. at least your parents were somewhat rational and gave you a chance to explain yourself.

kidnapping? wtf? i can't even begin to comprehend the stupidity of the school administrators. this is the type of situation where the media could make a huge difference, but you already said you don't want to make a big deal out of it. if the principal seems unwilling to budge, threaten to alert the media about the situation. you don't have to actually alert them, though.</font>

i don't want to threaten anyone! that's just just as bad as what they're doing.

i want to explain, and make them try to understand what i will be doing, and what the consequences(and lack there of) will be.

BlueStar
04-16-2002, 12:10 PM
from http://www.aclu.org/issues/gay/prom.html

<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">That was twenty years ago. Today, the law is still the same. Don't let your school tell you that you can't go to the prom with your sweetheart -- or even your best friend -- just because the two of you are the same sex. Tell them about Aaron Fricke v. Cumberland High School Principal Richard B. Lynch in U.S. District Court in Rhode Island. And call your local ACLU if they still refuse.</font>



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~~Samantha~~
AIM: MercuryAdore

http://homepages.nyu.edu/~sag249/sigankle.jpg

BlueStar
04-16-2002, 12:13 PM
from http://www.aclu.org/features/f052600a.html

<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">In Virginia, a student stood up for her rights even though parents and community members turned out at school board meetings to oppose her attending her prom with a same-sex date. The high school revoked their policy of barring same-sex couples from dances shortly after the ACLU of Virginia faxed them a letter pointing out that their policy was illegal.</font>



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~~Samantha~~
AIM: MercuryAdore

http://homepages.nyu.edu/~sag249/sigankle.jpg

obscured01
04-16-2002, 12:15 PM
My high school didn't allow same sex dates. Which I think is stupid, but then this is the center of the Bible Belt...

I'm sorry though, that really sucks http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/frown.gif

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~*Sarah Kimberly*~

...and the tragic and
romantic (http://members.door.net/skylab) ascent...

AIM: Gazing Iscariot

Graveflower
04-16-2002, 12:15 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by ravenguy2000:
Well then I'd kick his ass for you.

</font>

Yeah, me too. I'm 6'4 and 260 pounds. And I sure ain't in no prissy Naval Academy!

BlueStar
04-16-2002, 12:17 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by peabody:
i don't want to threaten anyone! that's just just as bad as what they're doing.
</font>

Just try pointing out to your principal that it is illegal for him to keep you from going to prom with who you want. And you could have the ACLU fax your principal a letter. Which shouldn't really cause any trouble or anything and wouldn't involve you saying anything that could be construed as a threat or anything to your principal. It would just be a letter that would be sent just to your principal...which would just serve as proof for him that keeping you and Daniel from going to prom together would be illegal.

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~~Samantha~~
AIM: MercuryAdore

http://homepages.nyu.edu/~sag249/sigankle.jpg

[This message has been edited by BlueStar (edited 04-16-2002).]

strange_one
04-16-2002, 12:41 PM
<font color=FF00FF> same-sex dates never occured at my high school, so I'm not familiar with it.
there is no reason why you shouldn't be able to take this guy as your date and have some good times, perhaps just don't make out with him in the middle of the dance floor

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http://www.lovepolice.com.au/ARCHIVE/loversf.gif
And I remember every goddamn minute with you
Like a minute in a movie that hurts

Random Female
04-16-2002, 12:54 PM
Can you just buy your ticket solo and have Daniel buy a ticket solo? Then just show up together. I went to my prom single with a couple of friends the same way.

Zach
04-16-2002, 01:00 PM
and after Graveflower and ravenguy are done kicking his ass, i'll kick him in the balls while he's on the floor!

frail_and_bedazzled
04-16-2002, 02:25 PM
hmmm. fucking assholes. you, of course, have the right to go. that's insane.

tick
04-16-2002, 02:27 PM
all this for a corn ball prom

twilightfadez
04-16-2002, 02:33 PM
thats just fucked up. i hate society when it comes to issues like this. its ok for girls to go together, but everyone flips out if its guys.

melancholia
04-16-2002, 03:29 PM
it is your high school prom, and it is up to you to make the most of it and be happy...
http://ligaly.com
I helped plan the Pride Gala...a prom for gay couples... it was a really great event.

don't worry about your parents...eventually they'll see that you're not a child anymore.

orange crush
04-16-2002, 03:55 PM
proms are overrated anyway, just tell your parents you are going, and get a motel room instead.

Delta
04-16-2002, 03:59 PM
gay prom dates have been front page news here in toronto for like the last 3 or 4 weeks. some kid in one of the burbs wants to take his boyfriend to his catholic high school's prom, the school refused, so he raised a huge stink. he lost in the end, which isnt surprising considering it was a catholic high school, which seem to operate independant of the canadian human right charter

Lunadisarm
04-16-2002, 05:59 PM
If you go to a private school (and I think you do?) then they can forbid you from going with a same sex date, to my knowledge. I'm pretty sure that by deciding to go to a private school, many of your rights are almost "signed away." For example, dress codes are debated as being against the freedom of expression... however, they hold up in court since you could always leave the private school and go to a public one that has no dress code.

So I would assume that you may not be allowed to bring a same sex date because it's a private school and you choose to go there, per se. I don't know for a fact though.

~beth

Samsa
04-16-2002, 06:05 PM
yes exactly. what elizabeth said (then why do i bother repeating?) ...i think simply because alex goes to a private school they can do whatever they want. actually..you know, private schools aren't allowed to racially discrimintate though right? (bob jones university isssue dealing with interracial marriages or something?) anyways...yeah. but . i dunno. i guess as the law stands right now they can do whatever the fuck they want in regards to homosexuality. it may change in the future though. we'll see.

TiaraGurl
04-16-2002, 06:31 PM
Wasn't this on dawson's creek?

all joking aside I know that you don't want to be political alex but if you end up being able to go maybe you will show other people it is not such a big deal to be yourself and that could be a good thing.

did you have your catscan thing?

Aeroplane
04-16-2002, 06:37 PM
I would just say fuck the fucking prom, BUT . . . since they've pissed me (and most of us and hopefull you) off, I'd go just to annoy them. I understand you don't want to make an issue out of this, but someone else already did. Stand up now or always be walked on. It just makes me http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/mad.gif !

peabody
04-16-2002, 07:26 PM
ok. here's the scoop.

i've been talking to my parents a lot, and they seem pretty ok with the idea of me going with Daniel. they just are mad about me lying, of course.

i'm meeting with the principal tomorrow morning, and will tell him a nice little list of things i have.

i'm sure it will work out. thanks for the supportive replies. http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/smile.gif

peabody
04-16-2002, 07:28 PM
oh, and NO, i will not be making out with Daniel on the dance floor. I will most likely just dance casually....no griding. i don't do that to anyone, anyways.

peabody
04-16-2002, 07:31 PM
oh, and what suze and liz say are true. they can do whatever the fuck they want.

The_Super_Dan
04-16-2002, 07:59 PM
If you do get to go, make sure to wear this:

http://erosboutique.org/store/graphics/00000001/mh2-0902.jpg

Ammy
04-16-2002, 08:10 PM
dan, you're a dork http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/tongue.gif


this thread is amaizing, for once I'm happy with the way the board is being supportive.

good luck boy!

sawdust restaurants
04-16-2002, 09:16 PM
Yeah, this thread kicks ass.

And props to Alex for having the balls to go through with it.

Best Looking Boy
04-16-2002, 09:23 PM
I'm sure if there is a god... Liking Days of the New will get you into hell quicker than being gay.
Have fun Travis Meeks.

melancholymystic
04-16-2002, 10:12 PM
The exact same thing happened up here. It was in the paper just about a week ago. The principle of a high-school wouldnt let a gay guy go with his boyfriend.

strange_one
04-16-2002, 10:18 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Travis Meeks:
damn, must suck to be gay eh?

</font>

<font color=FF00FF> travis meeks....insightful as ever

killtheyouth
04-16-2002, 10:20 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Best Looking Boy:
I'm sure if there is a god... Liking Days of the New will get you into hell quicker than being gay.
Have fun Travis Meeks.</font>

and the first creed album.

Graveflower
04-16-2002, 10:20 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by strange_one:
<font color=FF00FF> travis meeks....insightful as ever</font></font>

Don't you wish that was your name?

killtheyouth
04-16-2002, 10:21 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Graveflower:
Don't you wish that was your name?</font>

i sure do....*sigh*...

Best Looking Boy
04-16-2002, 10:27 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by killtheyouth:
and the first creed album.</font>
You're doomed Meeks.

PhantomFM
04-17-2002, 03:17 PM
congradgeelashuns. i'd put more into this but everytime I've written a long thought out reply to you've i've been ignored, so I'll just go sit and pout now

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PhantomFM (http://www.unc.edu/~lawsonb)

MisterSquishyHalo
04-17-2002, 03:28 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by peabody:
So, I asked my good friend Daniel to go to my prom with me. He said yes, and got his tuxedo as did I.

My parents asked whom I was going with and I said, "Janelle Sealy," who doesn't exist, really. They've banned me from dating, seeing other guys, and pretty much anything sexual, but anyways, I thought that they'd surely say no to this...So, I lied. http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/frown.gif

So my brother finds out from me, and I usually trust him, but he went and told my parents yesterday. They called the school. They got the principal totally pissed off, and told him, "not to worry," because they won't let me go. They threatened me last night with having me arrested for running away and/or kidnapping on Daniel if I tried to go with Daniel.

So...we all got in a big fight...threw things, hit things, and called each other names. After a while, we calmed down and I gave them some damn good points about why I should be allowed to go and why it would be safe for me to go, which I fully believe it is. They said that they've reconsidered and now think it is pretty ok, as long as we run realllllly fast to my car after prom, which I was planning to do anyways.

Now, I have to meet with the principal tomorrow morning. I went to him today to see when he was free, and when I walked into his office he said(in a very pissed off tone), "I'm not ready to talk to you. Get out."

So...I'm confused.

Can the school bar me from going with my date?

</font>

Call the ACLU right now, the school is way over its head on this one.

MisterSquishyHalo
04-17-2002, 03:29 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by peabody:
but I don't to "raise hell." i want to go to my prom with someone i will have fun with. that's it. not a statement about me being gay, not a statement about me being who i want to be. just i want to have a good times.</font>


Sometimes the only way to get someone to back down is to have pressure on them. In this case it would be the media and the ACLU.

MisterSquishyHalo
04-17-2002, 03:31 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Travis Meeks:
or you can just stop being so gay</font>


You are a certifiable idiot.

Crippler
04-17-2002, 03:53 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by MisterSquishyHalo:

You are a certifiable idiot.</font>

<font color="aqumarine">...yet still plausible, Otto.

But not bloody likey. http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/biggrin.gif

Injektilo
04-17-2002, 04:00 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by MisterSquishyHalo:
Call the ACLU right now, the school is way over its head on this one.

</font>


problem is he goes to a private school, and they are allowed to decide who he is allowed to bring to the prom.


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how'd this world get so fucking fun, all of a sudden?

MisterSquishyHalo
04-17-2002, 05:04 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Injektilo:

problem is he goes to a private school, and they are allowed to decide who he is allowed to bring to the prom.


</font>

Yeah but if its a civil rights issue, it might supercede what rules that the school has.

Lunadisarm
04-17-2002, 06:36 PM
What happened? Hopefully everything worked out well...

However, unless you want to go through absolute hell, I wouldn't recommend going the ACLU route. Sure, you could start a legal breakthrough dealing with the rights of students at private schools, but it would most likely drag you through the mud. Most private schools already have their own lawyers, not to mention the means to fight if they really want to. I don't know how liberal or conservative your school is, but if they are the latter then it could be a huge fight to the death almost.

Hopefully talking to the Principal is all you need to do. If that doesn't work, I would suggest talking to a teacher who likes you and supports you... and having them champion your cause to the Principal. Getting your parents to talk to him, or the parents committee/board of directors would also be a thing to consider if it ends up going that far. Hopefully it doesn't, because such fights are difficult when you still have another full year at the school.

~beth

sawdust restaurants
04-17-2002, 07:31 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Lunadisarm:
What happened? Hopefully everything worked out well...

However, unless you want to go through absolute hell, I wouldn't recommend going the ACLU route. Sure, you could start a legal breakthrough dealing with the rights of students at private schools, but it would most likely drag you through the mud. Most private schools already have their own lawyers, not to mention the means to fight if they really want to. I don't know how liberal or conservative your school is, but if they are the latter then it could be a huge fight to the death almost.

Hopefully talking to the Principal is all you need to do. If that doesn't work, I would suggest talking to a teacher who likes you and supports you... and having them champion your cause to the Principal. Getting your parents to talk to him, or the parents committee/board of directors would also be a thing to consider if it ends up going that far. Hopefully it doesn't, because such fights are difficult when you still have another full year at the school.
</font>

From somebody who has been on the student newspaper for three years and has an inside track to everything student council tries to do by being close with their adviser:

If a principal doesn't want to change his/her mind, you can't change it in PUBLIC schools, let alone private schools. I think it's damn commendable that Alex is going to try and take the respectful way through this, but ... you know, sometimes, it just doesn't work. Certain people know how to play the game so that, no matter how piss-poor of a leader they are, they always win. Such is life, and unfortunately, the only way out might be to try and take a legal route, if that's the way he wants to go.

But Alex said he doesn't want to make a stand, and personally, I don't think it's worth the trouble.

Go somewhere else, man--it's not like prom has ever been a great event to begin with, and you can just pretend the morons don't exist.

[This message has been edited by sawdust restaurants (edited 04-17-2002).]

peabody
04-17-2002, 09:43 PM
wow.

so, i met with them today and they circled around the issue for about an hour, then they said(verbatim), "we want you to go home and think about the negative ramifications of you going with your 'friend,' on the community. tomorrow, we will have made a decision and hopefully we will all be happy with the decision." they tried to guilt it out of me. they said word for fucking word, "think about other gay students who aren't out. they'll see this(edit: this=me going to the prom and the 'community' getting in an uproar.) as a failure, and they'll be scared forever. think about the movement to establish open-mindedness here. this will just cause it to move two steps back." what the fuck?

i was so livid, but i kept my dignity and confused the fuck out of them with some pretty loaded questions.

as i was walking out of the building at the end of the day i saw 4 sheets hanging on the student messageboard. someone posted a petition at the end of the day that read(i wrote down what it said.)...

"We the undersigned respectfully submit the following petition on behalf of all students: that Alex Washko be allowed to bring whomever he chooses to his Jr/Sr prom. We believe that the school originally displayed support and acceptance for diversity in our student body, but we now feel the school is hesitant in supporting what true diversity means." Followed by 450 blanks over 4 pages. it was posted after school was out, so signatures were minimal, but god damn. http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/smile.gif i was astounded. still am. i want to find out who did it.



[This message has been edited by peabody (edited 04-17-2002).]

PkPhuoko
04-17-2002, 10:16 PM
props for not going to the ACLU.

I have more respect for people who say "I'm better than the ignorant people who hold me down" and handle it within their own means as opposed to relying on an organization founded off scare tactics.

peabody
04-17-2002, 10:19 PM
the reaction i'm getting is amazing. people i've never spoken to im'ing me saying, "dude. i'm signing that petition. this is fucked up."

BlueStar
04-17-2002, 10:44 PM
That is awesome that someone posted that petition. http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/smile.gif

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~~Samantha~~
AIM: MercuryAdore

http://homepages.nyu.edu/~sag249/sigankle.jpg

undivinemartyr
04-17-2002, 11:00 PM
::Scrolls through::.

Geez, all the important stuff has been said. So I'll leave off with this message:

Yay, yay, we are gay!!!

Ammy
04-17-2002, 11:49 PM
that's so fucking cool..

Lunadisarm
04-18-2002, 07:43 PM
What was the decision today?

Smiley33
04-18-2002, 07:54 PM
Fuck, it's not like you're going to prom naked or anything (but girls can go to prom dressed like hookers...which is beside the point, but still). What bullshit. Do what I did and get the fucker demoted to assistant principal and sent to a school in the heart of the ghetto.

And congratulations on the recent developments. There truly is still decency left in the world.

[This message has been edited by Smiley33 (edited 04-18-2002).]

TiaraGurl
04-19-2002, 12:07 AM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by peabody:
i was so livid, but i kept my dignity and confused the fuck out of them with some pretty loaded questions.

</font>

you are my hero alex seriously