View Full Version : racist jokes are fun


The Patient
03-15-2002, 12:03 PM
how do you starve a black guy?

hide his foodstamps under his work boots.

that's funny.

------------------
http://www.canoe.ca/MusicImagesT/tool2_160.jpg http://www.michaelmuir.com/reviewpics/music/tool_lateralus.jpg http://www.9inchnails.net/remix-files/pictures/maynard.jpg
aim - shesellsmelsd

bonsor
03-15-2002, 12:05 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by The Patient:
that's funny.</font> No it isn't.

doctor gonzo
03-15-2002, 12:06 PM
well, this isn't a race joke, but it's pretty damned funny (and it's from George Carlin's latest HBO special):

Q: why is it that a c0ck is usually depicted on a weather vane?

A: because if it was a c u n t, the wind would blow right through it.

http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/biggrin.gif

------------------
www.nevercrashnow.com (http://www.nevercrashnow.com)

[This message has been edited by doctor gonzo (edited 03-15-2002).]

[This message has been edited by doctor gonzo (edited 03-15-2002).]

YeehaJamesIha
03-15-2002, 12:06 PM
What's the difference between a black guy and a pizza?


A pizza can feed a family of four.

The Patient
03-15-2002, 12:07 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by ******:
Originally posted by The Patient:
that's funny.</font> No it isn't.



actually it is

------------------
http://www.canoe.ca/MusicImagesT/tool2_160.jpg http://www.michaelmuir.com/reviewpics/music/tool_lateralus.jpg http://www.9inchnails.net/remix-files/pictures/maynard.jpg
aim - shesellsmelsd

pills
03-15-2002, 12:08 PM
How do you stop a black guy from drowning?

Get your foot off his head.

The Patient
03-15-2002, 12:09 PM
what happens when you shoot a black guy on a bike?


you get your bike back.

------------------
http://www.canoe.ca/MusicImagesT/tool2_160.jpg http://www.michaelmuir.com/reviewpics/music/tool_lateralus.jpg http://www.9inchnails.net/remix-files/pictures/maynard.jpg
aim - shesellsmelsd

YeehaJamesIha
03-15-2002, 12:09 PM
How do you blind a chinese person?


Put a piece of string over their eyes

The Patient
03-15-2002, 12:11 PM
what does the human race and jelly beans have in common?


nobody likes the black ones

------------------
http://www.canoe.ca/MusicImagesT/tool2_160.jpg http://www.michaelmuir.com/reviewpics/music/tool_lateralus.jpg http://www.9inchnails.net/remix-files/pictures/maynard.jpg
aim - shesellsmelsd

Mayfuck
03-15-2002, 12:12 PM
Q: What does the human race and jelly beans have in common?

A: Nobody likes the Black ones.

YeehaJamesIha
03-15-2002, 12:12 PM
What's the difference between a black guy and a snow tire?


Snow tires don't sing when you put chains on them

The Patient
03-15-2002, 12:12 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Mayfuck:
Q: What does the human race and jelly beans have in common?

A: Nobody likes the Black ones.

</font>

yea, i definitely beat you to that one.

------------------
http://www.canoe.ca/MusicImagesT/tool2_160.jpg http://www.michaelmuir.com/reviewpics/music/tool_lateralus.jpg http://www.9inchnails.net/remix-files/pictures/maynard.jpg
aim - shesellsmelsd

doctor gonzo
03-15-2002, 12:13 PM
two firemen are butt-fucking in a smoke filled room.
the fire chief walks in and says "WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE??"
the fireman says "sir, this man suffers from smoke inhalation."
the fire chief says "well, did you give him mouth to mouth?"
and the fireman says "yeah, how do you think this shit got started?"

HA!

The Patient
03-15-2002, 12:13 PM
why do arabian women wear red dots on their foreheads?

for better aiming

------------------
http://www.canoe.ca/MusicImagesT/tool2_160.jpg http://www.michaelmuir.com/reviewpics/music/tool_lateralus.jpg http://www.9inchnails.net/remix-files/pictures/maynard.jpg
aim - shesellsmelsd

doctor gonzo
03-15-2002, 12:16 PM
an apartment building housing a black family, a white family, and a hispanic family burns to the ground one tuesday afternoon.
which family survived the blaze?

A: the white family, because they were at work.

YeehaJamesIha
03-15-2002, 12:16 PM
How do you kill 100 Mexicans at once?


Blow up their van.

doctor gonzo
03-15-2002, 12:17 PM
did you hear they dropped a bomb on italy?
it slid off.

http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/biggrin.gif

The Patient
03-15-2002, 12:17 PM
why do black people stink?

so blind people can hate them too

------------------
http://www.canoe.ca/MusicImagesT/tool2_160.jpg http://www.michaelmuir.com/reviewpics/music/tool_lateralus.jpg http://www.9inchnails.net/remix-files/pictures/maynard.jpg
aim - shesellsmelsd

YeehaJamesIha
03-15-2002, 12:19 PM
What's a redneck virgin?


A seven year-old that can run faster than her brothers.

doctor gonzo
03-15-2002, 12:20 PM
Q: what do you call a white guy surrounded by 3 black guys?
A: victim

Q: what do you call a white guy surrounded by 8 black guys?
A: coach

Q: what do you call a white guy surrounded by 200 black guys?
A: warden

Q: what do you call a hundred black guys parachuting at once?
A: skeet

Q: what's the difference between a pizza and a jew?
A: pizzas don't scream when you put them in ovens.

If It Feels Good, Do Me
03-15-2002, 12:22 PM
What do you get when you cross an Eskimo with a Nigger?
A Snowblower that Doesn't work!

Why is Stevey Wonder Smiling all the time?
He doesn't know he's black.

The Patient
03-15-2002, 12:22 PM
how do you circumsize a redneck?

kick his sister in the jaw

------------------
http://www.canoe.ca/MusicImagesT/tool2_160.jpg http://www.michaelmuir.com/reviewpics/music/tool_lateralus.jpg http://www.9inchnails.net/remix-files/pictures/maynard.jpg
aim - shesellsmelsd

doctor gonzo
03-15-2002, 12:23 PM
Q: how did the germans take poland?
A: they marched in backwards and said they were leaving.

Q: why did the chicken cross the road?
A: because it had AIDS.

AIDS IS FINALLY FUNNY!! WOO HOO!!
http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/biggrin.gif

If It Feels Good, Do Me
03-15-2002, 12:25 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by doctor gonzo:
Q: why did the chicken cross the road?
A: because it had AIDS.

AIDS IS FINALLY FUNNY!! WOO HOO!!
http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/biggrin.gif</font>

I can't believe it's been 22.3 years already.

doctor gonzo
03-15-2002, 12:30 PM
a guy takes his 7 year old son to a toystore that specializes in robotic toys. the kid's looking around and checking things out. meanwhile, the store owner approaches the dad and tells him that he has some adult type toys in the back room if he'd like to check them out.
they go in the back room and the store owner pulls out a bag and hands it to the dad. the dad reaches in and pulls out what he has to believe is the most beautiful pu$$y he's ever seen. it feels real. it looks real. he's totally floored. the store owner tells him to smell it. he does, and it's the best smelling pu$$y the guy's ever had the pleasure to put his nose to. the store owner tells him to touch it. the guy does and it starts to quiver. he's amazed. the store owner tells him to put his finger in it. the dad does, and much to his amazement, the pu$$y starts to get wet!
sensing a big sale, the store owner says with a wink: "so...do you want me to wrap that up for you?"
to which the dad replies: "no thanks. i'll eat it here."

tee hee hee.....

[This message has been edited by doctor gonzo (edited 03-15-2002).]

YeehaJamesIha
03-15-2002, 12:32 PM
Q: What's the flattest surface you ever ironed your pants on?
A: A white girl's ass

Q: what do you get when you mix an italian with a gorilla?
A: A retarded gorilla

Q: Why do the Scottish wear kilts?
A: Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away

Haw, I just insulted myself.

bonsor
03-15-2002, 01:13 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by The Patient:
why do arabian women wear red dots on their foreheads?

for better aiming

</font>

You are so fucking stupid.

the_boy
03-15-2002, 01:19 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by YeehaJamesIha:

Q: what do you get when you mix an italian with a gorilla?
A: A retarded gorilla
</font>

HAHAHA!!! That was just so directly insulting. That was great!

the_boy
03-15-2002, 01:27 PM
Q. What do u get when you cross an Italian and a Pollack?

A. A guy who makes you an offer you cant understand.

bonsor
03-15-2002, 08:49 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by ******:
You are so fucking stupid.

</font> I felt like reiterating this.

meow
03-15-2002, 08:52 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by ******:
No it isn't.

</font>

for once, i agree

pills
03-15-2002, 08:53 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by ******:
You are so fucking stupid.

</font>

You beat me to it.

Red Wine Cage
03-15-2002, 10:03 PM
it isn't racist, but why did Marilyn Manson cross the road?
because his d1ck was stuck in the chicken.
[I came up with that one and boy, does it show!]

what would you call the flinstones if they were black?
niggers

[an oldie, but a goodie]

------------------
i'll get myself into a coma... (http://www.picturetrail.com/pumpkinsfan)

FALL FROM GRACE:DAVID'S SMASHING PUMPKINS BOOTLIST (http://pumpkins.iwarp.com)

Cherub Sock
03-15-2002, 10:18 PM
Not one of the jokes in this thread is funny. Not because they are racist, just because they're shit and I hate them.

------------------
"They made it illegal as soon as they saw me doing it. . ."

Crippler
03-15-2002, 10:21 PM
<font color="aquamarine">How do you tell who the groom is at a German wedding?

He's the guy with the clean bowling shirt.

How do you get a black guy out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

How do you get a one-armed Polack out of a tree?

Wave.

http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/biggrin.gif

Crippler
03-15-2002, 10:22 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Cherub Sock:
Not one of the jokes in this thread is funny. Not because they are racist, just because they're shit and I hate them.

</font>

<font color="aquamarine">Lighten up, Junior.

Gooch
03-15-2002, 10:32 PM
Q. whats the difference between a black person and a pile of shit?

A. after a while the pile of shit turns white and stops smelling!

Q. You know the Italian airline Alitalia? Well, did you hear about the new Italian airline based in Genoa?
A. Its called GENitalia.

Q. Why dont Italians barbeque?
A. Because the spaghetti keeps falling thru the grills!

strange_one
03-15-2002, 10:35 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by The Patient:
what happens when you shoot a black guy on a bike?


you get your bike back.

</font>
<font color=FF00FF> sorry I know its wrong but thats a good one http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/biggrin.gif



------------------
http://www.dragcity.com/catalog/records/dc162.jpg
You're thinking on your feet...while you're sittin' there...on your ass

Cherub Sock
03-15-2002, 10:36 PM
Why are pedophiles always happy?

Because they fuck little kids.

------------------
"They made it illegal as soon as they saw me doing it. . ."

Crippler
03-15-2002, 10:37 PM
<font color="aquamarine">Two black guys and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving?

The cops.

What do you find at a black family's garage sale?

Your stuff.

http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/biggrin.gif

Crippler
03-15-2002, 10:38 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Cherub Sock:
Why are pedophiles always happy?

Because they fuck little kids.

</font>

<font color="aquamarine">Nice try.

Cherub Sock
03-15-2002, 10:40 PM
What did the cannibalistic pedophile have for breakfast?

A four-year old girl’s c<hp>unt.


Not so much funny, but quite informative.


------------------
"They made it illegal as soon as they saw me doing it. . ."

Crippler
03-15-2002, 10:47 PM
<font color="aquamarine">How do you stop 5 black guys from raping a white girl?

Throw 'em a basketball!

Cherub Sock
03-15-2002, 10:51 PM
How do you stop 5 basketballs from throwing a black guy?

Rape 'em a white girl!

------------------
"They made it illegal as soon as they saw me doing it. . ."

Aeroplane
03-15-2002, 10:52 PM
Why were there only 6000 Mexicans at the Alamo? They had only one station wagon.

melancholia
03-15-2002, 11:03 PM
When a white baby dies, where does it go?
heaven

What do they put on its back?
wings

What do they call it?
an angel

When a black baby dies, where does it go?
heaven

What do the put on its back?
wings

What do they call it?
an angel

Wrong... a bat.

Elvis The Fat Years
03-15-2002, 11:06 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Cherub Sock:
Why are pedophiles always happy?

Because they fuck little kids.

</font>

http://cheez125.homestead.com/files/3.jpg

bonsor
03-15-2002, 11:06 PM
This thread honestly sucks.

Cherub Sock
03-15-2002, 11:09 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Elvis The Fat Years:
http://cheez125.homestead.com/files/3.jpg </font>

Just because you don't get it, it doesn't mean it's not the funniest thing ever written in the world anywhere, you ignorant little co<hp>ck who shits in his own wank-sock.

------------------
"They made it illegal as soon as they saw me doing it. . ."

[This message has been edited by Cherub Sock (edited 03-15-2002).]

pills
03-15-2002, 11:16 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by ******:
This thread honestly sucks.</font>

FUCK!!!!!!!!!
03-15-2002, 11:34 PM
what do the black netphorians think?
oh shit, there aren't any.
i wish there was one, honestly. the last dead baby joke thread got busted by all those dead babies, and it looks like we all have more lessons to learn.

that stevie wonder one made me laugh though.

Silverstream
03-16-2002, 12:49 AM
Q: Whats worse than smoking pot with a baby?
A: Making a bong out of it.

strange_one
03-16-2002, 02:47 AM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Cherub Sock:
What did the cannibalistic pedophile have for breakfast?

A four-year old girl’s c<hp>unt.

</font>

<font color=FF00FF> why do these sort of stupid jokes even pass as being jokes?

Irrelevant
03-16-2002, 02:56 AM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Cherub Sock:
Why are pedophiles always happy?

Because they fuck little kids.

</font>

best joke in the thread.

NinjaTurtle
03-16-2002, 03:22 AM
NO THIS IS THE BEST JOKE!

what do you call a black guy???
a nigger

hahahaha

------------------
the kids ass is a duck

The Patient
03-16-2002, 03:44 AM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by ******:
This thread honestly sucks.</font>

honestly? i would've thought you were lying. Cry or write a letter or a song or something. Bitch.

------------------
http://www.canoe.ca/MusicImagesT/tool2_160.jpg http://www.michaelmuir.com/reviewpics/music/tool_lateralus.jpg http://www.9inchnails.net/remix-files/pictures/maynard.jpg
aim - shesellsmelsd

Moonolio
03-16-2002, 08:21 AM
Q: how long does it take a black women to take a shit?

A 9 months


Q: where do you hide money from a [insert racial minority here]?

A: underneath a bar of soap


Q: a black guy, a mexican and jew are in a car, whose driving?

A: the cop

thats it for now, until i can remember more...

melancholymystic
03-16-2002, 08:25 AM
this post is a disgrace.

------------------
I dont' discrimanate, I hate everyone.

darcy_is_sexy
03-16-2002, 03:39 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Elvis The Fat Years:
http://cheez125.homestead.com/files/3.jpg </font>

the only funny thing in this whole thread

bonsor
03-16-2002, 03:47 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by The Patient:
honestly? i would've thought you were lying. Cry or write a letter or a song or something. Bitch.

</font>

Wow, that one really hurt, man.

You people underestimate the impact of a thread like this.

The Patient
03-16-2002, 03:54 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by ******:

You people underestimate the impact of a thread like this. </font>

apparently...

------------------
http://www.canoe.ca/MusicImagesT/tool2_160.jpg http://www.michaelmuir.com/reviewpics/music/tool_lateralus.jpg http://www.9inchnails.net/remix-files/pictures/maynard.jpg
aim - shesellsmelsd

Affectation
03-16-2002, 03:56 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Moonolio:

Q: ...jew...?

A: the cop

</font><font color=00ff33>Are you retarded?



------------------
a Twenty dollar sack of indo and a Thirty-five dollar gift certificate

The Patient
03-16-2002, 03:58 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Moonolio:


Q: a black guy, a mexican and [b]a jew are in a car, whose driving?

A: the cop

B]</font>

you're not very good at this.


------------------
http://www.canoe.ca/MusicImagesT/tool2_160.jpg http://www.michaelmuir.com/reviewpics/music/tool_lateralus.jpg http://www.9inchnails.net/remix-files/pictures/maynard.jpg
aim - shesellsmelsd

Moonolio
03-16-2002, 05:24 PM
.

[This message has been edited by Moonolio (edited 03-16-2002).]

NinjaTurtle
03-16-2002, 05:26 PM
anyone know any good white people jokes?

------------------
the kids ass is a duck

FUCK!!!!!!!!!
03-16-2002, 05:40 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by NinjaTurtle:
anyone know any good white people jokes?

</font>

fucking racist.

Loveless Addict
03-17-2002, 12:40 AM
What do you say when you wake up at 12pm and see your TV floating in mid-air?

Drop it nigger!

joe joe
03-17-2002, 01:07 AM
Q-what do you call a airline stewardess that gives a good handjob??

A-highjacker!

Delta
03-17-2002, 01:16 AM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by the_boy:
Q. What do u get when you cross an Italian and a Pollack?

A. A guy who makes you an offer you cant understand.</font>

lol, im half-italian/half-polish, ill have to remember that one

Crippler
03-17-2002, 03:31 AM
<font color="aquamarine">How do you know if an Asian has robbed your house?

Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later, the fucker is still trying to back out of your driveway!

strange_one
03-17-2002, 03:48 AM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Crippler:
<font color="aquamarine">How do you know if an Asian has robbed your house?

Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later, the fucker is still trying to back out of your driveway!</font>

<font color=FF00FF> haha. zing!

Moonolio
03-17-2002, 08:47 AM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Crippler:
<font color="aquamarine">How do you know if an Asian has robbed your house?

Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later, the fucker is still trying to back out of your driveway!</font>


HAHAAAHHAHAAHAA

SmashingZeppelins
03-17-2002, 08:54 AM
Why are Polish people unable to eat olives?

They could never figure out how to fit their head in the jar.

Sorry,that's old as the mold in my underwear.

------------------
I Hate Signatures.

Trendkiller_2k
03-17-2002, 10:50 AM
what do you do if you see a paki with half his face hanging off?

laugh and reload

------------------
Crucified, for trying to be myself.

Moonolio
03-17-2002, 12:32 PM
<font face="Arial, Verdana" size="2">Originally posted by Trendkiller_2k:
what do you do if you see a paki with half his face hanging off?

laugh and reload

</font>

hahah good one...

pills
03-17-2002, 12:37 PM
What do you call a Paki with a wooden leg?

A stick with a piece of shit on it.