this is awful
i am going to die
we are going to talk.....he's coming over in a bit.....we both agree our relationship has felt stuck/stale for a while...and it's not the first time its happened

3 years

only boyfriend

:*(

*requests netphorian support group*

thank you :(

my eyes are watery, and i dont want my parents to see me cry

i'll buy you a new boyfriend :D
good luck.. my regards

It is bound to bite but... you have to so what you have to do , i have been married two years all we have done is figt we have been together six years since we met in highschool.
You have the choice to knock it or carry on ..... you seem to have made your choice dont regret it for an instant.

Breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years was the hardest thing I've ever done. But if you know it's the right thing then you'll thank yourself in the end. Good luck.

if i break up i will have nobody

really...no friends...no close friends here that is :*(

Make sure you have steamy breakup sex.

*pouts*

you have to weigh the pros with the cons.. if you feel that staying in the relationship is ultimately hurting you more than making you happy, you need to get out of it... yeah it's going to be lonely for a while, because being with someone for 3 years can cause you to get isolated from your former friends, but i'm willing to bet that when they hear about this, some of them will come back and support you (if they're good friends) and if not, you'll meet new people, and you'll have more time to grow your relationships with them. good luck, i hope everything works out for you in the end.

Originally posted by twilightfadez
if i break up i will have nobody

really...no friends...no close friends here that is :*(

I felt like that too. But if it's not going to work out with this person than it's better to start fresh. Personally, I had an 8-month bout of depression before I realized this, but whatev. :)

Originally posted by twilightfadez
if i break up i will have nobody

really...no friends...no close friends here that is :*(

One of my close friends moved to Miami a few months ago. You can be friends with her. :)

You do what you have to do. If it doesn't feel right for you two to be together, then you are doing the right thing.

It will all be ok. *hug*

i know
but the friends that i had before him all live in colombia...cos i moved here in 99.....and he was really my only friend.....i dunno, if it happens he has told me before that he doesn't want to loose me completely :(

Originally posted by twilightfadez
i know
but the friends that i had before him all live in colombia...cos i moved here in 99.....and he was really my only friend.....i dunno, if it happens he has told me before that he doesn't want to loose me completely :( it might be possible for you two to stay friends if you end it without any hostility between the two of you.. after being together for that long it's understandable that he still wants to be friends.. if thats something you want too, it probably could work. not right away, obviously, give it a while to ease to pain on both sides, but eventually both of you may realise that it hurts too much and doesn't make sense to cut each other off totally...

so is that possible? to stay friends?
discuss.

It is definitely possible to stay friends. Just give each other some space for a little bit, then you just kind of slowly rebuild your friendship.

in my experience, if the relationship ended on good terms (mutual, or no lingering hostility or pain on either side, something like you just grew apart or found other interests) and both of you are willing to put out the effort to make it work, i think yeah you can be friends.. even if it was messy, time can sometimes heal wounds and you might cross paths later in life and build a friendship again..

I'm friends with my ex, but it couldn't work that way until about a year passed.

Originally posted by hereisnowhy
I'm friends with my ex, but it couldn't work that way until about a year passed.

<font color="aquamarine">My friend Loren always said, "If a couple are friends after they break up, they were either never in love or still are."

Say what you will.</font>

:(

Pretty much what Samantha and Mirror_Untrue said. I'm afraid I don't have much to add, but good luck.

Originally posted by Crippler


<font color="aquamarine">My friend Loren always said, "If a couple are friends after they break up, they were either never in love or still are."

Say what you will.</font> totally not true. i think it's completely possible to move from being in love to loving each other as friends, given the right circumstances. you still care about each other and have powerful emotions, just not in the same romantic context.

Originally posted by Mirror_Untrue
totally not true. i think it's completely possible to move from being in love to loving each other as friends, given the right circumstances. you still care about each other and have powerful emotions, just not in the same romantic context.

<font color="aquamarine">Just because you don't love him romantically anymore doesn't mean you don't love him.</font>

Originally posted by Crippler


<font color="aquamarine">Just because you don't love him romantically anymore doesn't mean you don't love him.</font> thats what i mean.. you friend said "in love'. i take in love to mean romantic love and love just to mean love.

Originally posted by Mirror_Untrue
i think it's completely possible to move from being in love to loving each other as friends, given the right circumstances. you still care about each other and have powerful emotions, just not in the same romantic context.

*nods*

<font color="DAB9E8">Aww Cathy, I'm sorry :( I hope everything works out for the best... it'll all be okay.

Also.. and I'm not trying to sway things or anything... but just because things are stale or mundane doesn't mean that it's over... neither does the fact that it's happened before... all relationships have ups and downs. It could just be that you two aren't paying eachother enough attention or appreciating eachother enough... or something.

I dunno. That's how things have been with us before though... but everything turned out okay after we talked about it and tried harder to make eachother happy... things worked out.

Anwayay, things will be okay no matter what you choose... do what you feel is right and everything will be okay. <3
</font>

aw Cat :(

*hugs*

well, if you decide to move to Canada after all, you can always hang out with me :)

<3

Originally posted by hereisnowhy
I'm friends with my ex, but it couldn't work that way until about a year passed. Yeah, I've had a similar experience.

With nothing to add, I just want to say good luck. *hugz*

ok well i just got home
we spoke for a good 2-3 hours
he has a tendency of rambling and explaining things with long complicated sentences, and i know its of his best intent, but its often confusing. so he has been feeling this for the last couple months and hadn't really mentioned anything - and thinks that i had been sharing similar feelings (kinda, but not really). he said that he knows he loves me, and i love him, but that he can't pinpoint what exactly is making him feel that there is something wrong, that is stopping things from flowing freely. like, if it were just a matter of either one of us, realizing that we don't feel the same love anymore. it would be easier like that, cos then you know what is wrong and you put an end to things.
he feels that he is stuck, and that neither of us are growing at this point, or benefiting from the relationship.
we don't want to take any drastic decisions now...but i told him that he has to think of what HE wants, and not of what he thinks should be the best for me. (same goes for myself) and then i told him that what i thought the problem was, is that we have different personalities, different up-bringings, and different family cultures and that stubborness (sp?) form both parties is wa\hat prevents us from improving on the things that upset the other person...granted, if there is something that you accept and know you need to improve on. it just seemed really simple to me.
but before i thought of that i was all shaky and nervous and crying and my hands were clammy...so he just dropped me off at home, and we are going to give thought to this conversation...

ok that was really long, so if you dont read it i understand why

:(

I think the most important think to establish now is what exactly your boyfriend is feeling eg. whether something completely unrelated has been nagging at his sub-conscious -thus causing a whole host of problems (such as an apathetic response to his relationship with you)-, or whether there is a problem between you two, in which case the said problem should either be dealt with or given up on; it all depends on whether you wish to carry on with this romance.

I am really sorry to hear this, I hope you find complacency.

edit: although I don't think any of us here know enough about you and your befriend as a) a person b) a couple, you are the one who has to make this decision, it will be difficult but it will totally be worth your while.

So then you're available or what?

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope everything works out for you though.

Originally posted by killtheyouth


wtf?

too extreme?

Good luck.

Seriously, I've been there. I hope it works out for the best.

thanks guys
i woke up super early..with that yucky feeling in your stomach when you have uncomfy thoughts in your mind, ya know?
*sigh*

Here's a song for you, it's sort of a punch in the air but also the hope of things getting better.

Ceremony

This is why events unnerve me,
They find it all, a different story,
Notice whom for wheels are turning,
Turn again and turn towards this time,
All she ask's the strength to hold me,
Then again the same old story,
World will travel, oh so quickly,
Travel first and lean towards this time.

Oh, I'll break them down, no mercy shown,
Heaven knows, it's got to be this time,
Watching her, these things she said,
The times she cried,
Too frail to wake this time.

Oh I'll break them down, no mercy shown
Heaven knows, it's got to be this time,
Avenues all lined with trees,
Picture me and then you start watching,
Watching forever, forever,
Watching love grow, forever,
Letting me know, forever.

Originally posted by twilightfadez
thanks guys
i woke up super early..with that yucky feeling in your stomach when you have uncomfy thoughts in your mind, ya know?
*sigh*

i know exactly what you mean.

You can't eat. You can't sleep.
You just need to wait things out (as hard as it is) and hopefully the both of you will come around.

Originally posted by twilightfadez
if i break up i will have nobody

really...no friends...no close friends here that is :*(

we will give all the suport you need

Originally posted by twilightfadez
so is that possible? to stay friends?
discuss.

It is possible to stay friends, but it really depends on how close you guys are, and how understanding, and who's dumping who, or whether it's a mutual decision to break up.
My ex boyfriend (we were in our first 'serious' relationship) was very hurt when i broke up with him, but after a couple of months when we actually yelled at each other and kinda got everything off our chests, it stopped being awkward, and now we get along really great. The closeness is still there, we know each other better than any of our other friends, and we still hang out and have a lot of fun.

GOOD LUCK! and remember, there's nothing worse than staying in a relationship out of fear of getting out of it, or out of feeling too used to it.

Originally posted by twilightfadez
thanks guys
i woke up super early..with that yucky feeling in your stomach when you have uncomfy thoughts in your mind, ya know?
*sigh*

God I hate the post-breakup feeling. It's gonna be hard, so try to do nice things for yourself to take your mind off it. I recommend a walk through a warm forest.

Originally posted by twilightfadez
*bunch of petty, pathetic whining*

feel sorry for me! waaaahh!

hah. proving to be a true netphorian once again.

darn, how are you ever going to come off as "cool" online again?
boo hoooooooo.