I'm not going to attempt to hide it anymore. I'm a pretty laid back person that is open to nearly everything, but there is one group of people I simply can't stand. It's safe to use the word "hate". I absolutely hate artistic people. Well, not all artistic people. Just the ones who do it because they think it makes them special.



This morning, having the day off, I got up early and headed out to a coffee shop in Lansing to get my morning going. Even though I don't have class on Wednesdays I still have loads of reading to do week in and week out. I entered the place and waited in the relatively short line. There was a girl sitting down at a nearby table, about 21 years old, wearing a good portion of black and donning a t-shirt of a band I had never heard of. She was wearing glasses and had a notebook in front of her with pen in hand. Unfortunately for me, my place in line was adjacent to her table. I could feel her looking me up and down but ignored her. I then heard a mockingly laugh and had to contain the rage.



Turning to face her, I asked, "Was there something funny you'd care to share with me?" She put her pen down, rolled her eyes to me and replied, "Your sweatshirt is funny." Knowing I was wearing a Cooley Law sweatshirt, I refused to look down at it. "And?" Rolling her eyes at me again, in a half stoned gaze, she mumbled, "You think you're better than everyone because you go law school. I bet you're going to buy black coffee as well." She leaned back in her chair, proud of what she had said.



I stepped out of line, grabbed the seat sitting across from her at her table and took a seat. "Well, well, well. So you're a people reader, huh? Yeah, I love trying to read a person's personality by their demeanor and what they wear. One really can tell a lot about a person by doing such a thing. And I'll give you partial credit. I do plan on ordering black coffee but do you want to know a dirty little secret? Do you want to know what statement I was really trying to make by my Cooley Law sweatshirt? I was trying to show the world how lazy I am by not doing my laundry the night before and only having one clean shirt left. I know, it's a powerful statement but I just had to express myself in some way."



Artsy girl was caught slightly off guard when I took a seat across from her, but she leaned forward in her seat ready for a challenge. Locking eyes with mine she seethed, "Do you know what you are?" Not breaking eye contact, I leaned forward as well and hissed, "Enlighten me." Leaning back in her seat again with a proud look on her face, artsy girl answered the million dollar question. "You're a conformist." After hearing these words I leaned back in my chair as well, a giant smile coming across my face.



"I figured you'd say as much. You just have it all figured out, don't you? The great part of people reading, besides its gross generalizations, is the fact I'm pretty damn good at it. And you know what I see when I look at you?" Artsy girl, not breaking eye contact, attempted to respond but I cut her off. "Don't speak until I let you. I see a pathetic excuse for a human being. Looking at you, you're smart. I don't doubt that in the slightest. You're also very outspoken and the vast majority of people are intimidated by your outspoken tendencies and the fact you flaunt your intelligence. But you misread me earlier. I'm not a straight-laced, conformist tool that goes to law school to be rich like you assume. I'm the guy you don't want to fuck with. I'm the one person you should fear because I never back down, especially to people like you. You may be able to intimidate the vast majority of people but not me. You have no idea who the hell you're screwing with."



The girl leaned forward even further, at this point intrigued. "Nobody ever talks to you that way so you're intrigued, but I'm still going to tell you to fuck off. As I'm sure you remember, high school to a large extent was broken up into categories. You had your jocks interested in sports, nerds that didn't really fit in, 'gear heads' that talked about cars non-stop and, of course, the outcasts."



She interrupted and said, "I hated high school and I bet you were a nerd." After a triumphant stare from her I continued, "I know you hated high school. It was because nobody 'understood you' and you were tormented because of it, even though odds are you were relatively popular and weren't an outcast at all. As for me, I didn't really fit into any of those. I loved sports but was also really into studying and didn't feel comfortable with myself. But here's the thing: you judged all those groups and all those people, believing they could never understand your thoughts or feelings. They just 'didn't get it'. And then you head off to college and it grows. You try new things and further believe everyone else is a 'conformist' and how you're on the cutting edge. Everyone else is a slave to the machine but not you. You're independent. You're interesting. You're important."



The girl began to dislike what she heard but I kept on going. "In reality, out of all those groups, you're the worst kind. At least the jocks, the nerds, the gear heads and outcasts are embracing who they really are. They've found what they're interested in and they chase after it. But you? You're a phony. You're a loser that seeks to destroy everyone else when in reality, you're the biggest conformist. You don't call people conformists because you truly believe they are. You say it because it's the popular thing to do right now. You're worse than any cheerleader in high school."



Angrily she began to speak and I cut off her. "Shut up and listen. You listen to bands that no one has heard of, like the one on your t-shirt that you wear so very proudly, simply because no one has heard them and they're obscure. You don't give a shit about their music. No, you care about the pathetic high you get when you tell people what you listen to and they have no clue who you're talking about. You're different, right? Well take a fucking look around, artsy girl. You're not the only one in here wearing dark clothes, sporting t-shirts of unknown bands and writing in your diary about how gay the starting lineup of the Chicago Bulls is (off the wall reference-couldn't find it online-to a skit from the Upright Citizens Brigade from the late 1990's. Good show. Joey is probably the only other person that watched it. Maybe Cooley). In fact, I count at least ten people in this very room doing the exact same thing. You're the queen of conformists. You sway with trends more so than anyone else."



Getting really pissed she tried to talk again. I shut her down and finished, "So you keep drinking your odd lattes that no one is aware of, and you keep listening to music no one has heard off. In fact, maybe I can help out. Here's five bucks. Why don't you go online and buy a Chris Gaines t-shirt. You remember him, right? Of course you don't. No one does. Chris Gaines was Garth Brooks' alter-ego. Not only is he insanely obscure, he's 'really deep' and understands your pain. Besides, once you start wearing his shirt you'll be the trend setter for the non-conformists. Won't that be exciting!?!?! I can tell by the look of pure hatred in your eyes you now have plenty of material to write in that truly deep dairy of yours. Have a nice day and go fuck yourself. I need my black coffee."


http://www.townsend-records.co.uk/i/covers/1043372.jpg
Remember to buy it now before it becomes mainstream.

:rofl:

Zing.

this sounds like a romantic comedy. he obviously cares more than she does - he wrote this all out to brag! grow up. :rolleyes:

billy corgan could learn a thing from chris gaine's revival marketing team.

when people write out situations like that in so much detail I can't help but doubt their accuracy in remembering exactly the way the conversation went, even if they aren't lying outright, somehow i think he's made himself come off better

he wrote this all out to brag!

Yeah.

But as much as he may have annoyed, I'm glad there are people like him who did what he did.

This sounds like the beginning of some bad indie movie.

Yeah.

But as much as he may have annoyed, I'm glad there are people like him who did what he did.

why? who gives a shit? people who still care about "cliques" that resemble high school and who's better than who obviously has a hard time just moving on. it's sad.

This sounds like the beginning of some bad indie movie.

bad indie romantic comedy. the two confront each other like no other, and despite their intense dislikes for what the other represents, they eventually see below the goth make up and the prep clothes and see the TRUE person, and fall in the love with each other's intelligence and wit.

He's got a good memory for situations like this, and he's brutally honest. He's not one you should tangle with, because whatever you say he'll throw it all back at you. He's also possibly the funniest guy I've ever met.

I'm glad he pissed her off, because around here, there are plenty of people like the girl at the coffeeshop that are pretentious bitches. They need all that thrown back in their faces once in awhile. Trust me. He doesn't care THAT much, and his retelling of the situation is accurate...and a riot.

Good for him, I say.

why? who gives a shit? people who still care about "cliques" that resemble high school and who's better than who obviously has a hard time just moving on. it's sad.

I just like seeing people get their feelings hurt, that's all...

oh, in that case then, go for it. ;)

God doesn't he realize he is stooping down to her level when he judges her that quickly? He doesn't even know the girl. He's putting people in categories and judging them just as much as she is.

they should realize they're both essentially the same person and have a good hatefuck.

lame.

it's called counter-attack, bardy.

one question remains... did he get head?

God doesn't he realize he is stooping down to her level when he judges her that quickly? He doesn't even know the girl. He's putting people in categories and judging them just as much as she is.

I'm pretty sure the fact that she was snickering at him and called him a "conformist" without provocation was proof enough of what kind of person she is.

Besides, that's not the point. The point was to put her in her place because she was laughing at him.

This reminds me of the bit in the breakfast club where they are wondering if they will still be friends come monday.

Ha, everyone knows that behaviourism is a complete fucking fallacy, and everyone knows that counter-culture is still culture. That was eloquently written, but i cant help but thinking that the girl played into his hands a bit too easily, it sounds like a creation that you would make up in order to develop a character.

they should realize they're both essentially the same person and have a good hatefuck.

lame.


Artsy girl was caught slightly off guard when I took a seat across from her, but she leaned forward in her seat ready for a challenge. Locking eyes with mine she seethed, "Do you know what you are?" Not breaking eye contact, I leaned forward as well and hissed, "Enlighten me." Leaning back in her seat again with a proud look on her face, artsy girl answered the million dollar question. "You're a conformist." After hearing these words I leaned back in my chair as well, a giant smile coming across my face.


yeah embarrassingly lame and almost guaranteed to be wholly fabricated. your friend (if he exists at all, or at least as portrayed) has a big chip on his shoulder for some retarded reason and has managed to let it crawl up his ass and turn him into an even bigger douchebag than he already was. if a friend of Tchocky's really did write this, it's more likely that they came up with this ridiculously cliche and glaringly artificial little situation all by themselves. (aren't we proud.) the tone of the story makes it sound as if the writer wants to portray the law school guy as some sort of hero at the vanguard of a crusade for socio-cultural truth and justice. what bullshit. i really doubt that he's actually telling this story as if it happened to him. this is more likely Tchocky or someone he knows trying their hand at fiction and gauging netphoria's reaction to the work. or maybe Tchocky copied and pasted from another source and for some inexplicable reason is portraying it here like this situation happened to a friend. either way this is one of the dumbest things i've seen on here lately.

...and in the off chance that this really did happen to one of your friends, Tchocky, tell him to get off his high horse and proofread his adverbs while he's at it. we already have enough lawyers who suck at grammar and think they're god's gift to humanity.

Who talks like that anyways?

i think my highschool was filled with more psuedo artsy/"alt" chicks than honest to god sluts.. no wonder all the boys were either gay or had a record.

why dont people focus on bettering themselves and stop trying to prove how the rest of the people in the world suck (more than them).

I would think it would be easier to bring yourself up than push everyone else down to below you but what do I know.

why dont people focus on bettering themselves and stop trying to prove how the rest of the people in the world suck (more than them).

I would think it would be easier to bring yourself up than push everyone else down to below you but what do I know.

its easy to root for yourself, but not as easy as ragging on someone else..look around you, man.

it seems obvious, but assuming your idealistic post is serious..
people will always take the easy route, no matter how intelligent or capable they may seem. in a competitive, egocentric culture, most everyone finds it easier to point out the foibles of some other asshole than take a hard look at themselves in the mirror.

besides, people believe that theyre already " bettering themselves " by striving to make more money, giving $1 to charity one a year, losing weight, etc..

I would think it would be easier to bring yourself up than push everyone else down to below you but what do I know.

that's crazy talk.

Yeah she obviously doesnt know how the rep system works.

Chris Gaines was a sadly misuderstood artistic triumph.

BTW, you can get 5 garth brooks dvds exclusivley at wall mart for like 15 bucks. Garth keps giving back to the fans, i bought the limited series last year and got to get this new set which is an even beter deal.

Garth is also doing his first full scale show since retirement. A one off concert extravaganza for wall mart. its going to be dope.

its easy to root for yourself, but not as easy as ragging on someone else..look around you, man.

it seems obvious, but assuming your idealistic post is serious..
people will always take the easy route, no matter how intelligent or capable they may seem. in a competitive, egocentric culture, most everyone finds it easier to point out the foibles of some other asshole than take a hard look at themselves in the mirror.

besides, people believe that theyre already " bettering themselves " by striving to make more money, giving $1 to charity one a year, losing weight, etc..

I meant bettering more as boosting your ego. Not being critical about yourself. Being happy and comfortable with who you are. It seems that people who are happy about themselves find it less necessary to push everyone else down to make themselves feel better.

does that make any sense?

they both seemed pretty dumb actually. the law student might have been more correct but pretty much blew it bringing up chris gaines. didnt exactly get the last laugh there.

no no, the whole point of the story was to bring up chris gaines.

why do you all think you're better than everyone else

why do you all think you're better than everyone else
it's intrinsic to any living being that survives evolution constraints

it's intrinsic to any living being that survives evolution constraints


more important--certaintly

but better?

I think I'm better than anynone else because I realize and accept that I am not better than anyone else.

people think they're more important because they think they're better.
or it might be vice-versa.

I then heard a mockingly laugh and had to contain the rage.

that's fantastic.

they both sound insufferable. i hope the situation ends up like a hal hartley version of You've Got Mail. crazy kids.

i had to go back because there are too many gems up in this shit:



I'm not going to attempt to hide it anymore. I'm a pretty laid back person that is open to nearly everything,

man i can't wait to see how his admirable laid-back attitude manifests itself in this story!




There was a girl sitting down at a nearby table, about 21 years old, wearing a good portion of black and donning a t-shirt of a band I had never heard of.


ooh, early and poorly-executed dip into the thesaurus. (not to mention an embarrassing glimpse of -ing fetishism). that's going to cost him some points.



I then heard a mockingly laugh and had to contain the rage.

you know, the rage. the kind that can only be wrenched from the depths of one's soul by the mockingly laughter.



...grabbed the seat sitting across from her at her table and took a seat.

a certain root word has taken hold of the author's mind. everyone back away slowly. watch out for chairs.



Yeah, I love trying to read a person's personality by their demeanor and what they wear. One really can tell a lot about a person by doing such a thing.

uhuh.



And I'll give you partial credit.

he never said he was a law school professor!



I was trying to show the world how lazy I am by not doing my laundry the night before and only having one clean shirt left. I know, it's a powerful statement but I just had to express myself in some way."

oh snap! that's sacrasm if i ever detected it.



Locking eyes with mine she seethed, "Do you know what you are?"

eye contact reference #1. she seethes! nobody seethes in the first ten seconds of meeting a stranger in a coffee shop.



Not breaking eye contact, I leaned forward as well and hissed, "Enlighten me."

and he can hiss right back! it's like i'm in "Reptile Encounters!" at the zoo. eye contact reference #2. this is getting intense...



"I figured you'd say as much. You just have it all figured out, don't you? The great part of people reading, besides its gross generalizations, is the fact I'm pretty damn good at it.

so this is what it's like to be a high school english teacher. now i understand the horror implicit in the phrase "spend the weekend grading papers"



Artsy girl, not breaking eye contact, attempted to respond but I cut her off. "Don't speak until I let you. I see a pathetic excuse for a human being.

so he's rude and he's into S&M!



Looking at you, you're smart.

what? writing this story, the author is a moron.



But you misread me earlier. I'm not a straight-laced, conformist tool that goes to law school to be rich like you assume. I'm the guy you don't want to fuck with. I'm the one person you should fear because I never back down, especially to people like you. You may be able to intimidate the vast majority of people but not me. You have no idea who the hell you're screwing with."

delusions of grandeur. is he sure he's not a tool that's going to law school to be rich?



The girl leaned forward even further, at this point intrigued. "Nobody ever talks to you that way so you're intrigued, but I'm still going to tell you to fuck off. As I'm sure you remember, high school to a large extent was broken up into categories. You had your jocks interested in sports, nerds that didn't really fit in, 'gear heads' that talked about cars non-stop and, of course, the outcasts."... ETC.


still stuck in high school. definitely not a tool.



But you? You're a phony. You're a loser that seeks to destroy everyone else when in reality, you're the biggest conformist. You don't call people conformists because you truly believe they are. You say it because it's the popular thing to do right now. You're worse than any cheerleader in high school."

holy shit this is groundbreaking stuff right here.



Angrily she began to speak and I cut off her.




...




CUT OFF HER WHAT?



"Shut up and listen. You listen to bands that no one has heard of, like the one on your t-shirt that you wear so very proudly, simply because no one has heard them and they're obscure. You don't give a shit about their music. No, you care about the pathetic high you get when you tell people what you listen to and they have no clue who you're talking about. You're different, right? Well take a fucking look around, artsy girl. You're not the only one in here wearing dark clothes, sporting t-shirts of unknown bands and writing in your diary about how gay the starting lineup of the Chicago Bulls is (off the wall reference-couldn't find it online-to a skit from the Upright Citizens Brigade from the late 1990's. Good show. Joey is probably the only other person that watched it. Maybe Cooley).

it's not cool to like bands solely because of their obscurity. however, it is totally cool to make obscure cultural references and to watch tv shows that only two other people on the planet could possibly have watched, because Comedy Central had an exclusive feed into your apartment and your apartment only.



Getting really pissed she tried to talk again. I shut her down and finished,

enough already with the -ing. artsy girl has a power button, and he might've just cum in his unlaundered law student sweats. SHUT HER THE FUCK DOWN.



"So you keep drinking your odd lattes that no one is aware of, and you keep listening to music no one has heard off. In fact, maybe I can help out. Here's five bucks. Why don't you go online and buy a Chris Gaines t-shirt. You remember him, right? Of course you don't. No one does. Chris Gaines was Garth Brooks' alter-ego. Not only is he insanely obscure, he's 'really deep' and understands your pain. Besides, once you start wearing his shirt you'll be the trend setter for the non-conformists. Won't that be exciting!?!?! I can tell by the look of pure hatred in your eyes you now have plenty of material to write in that truly deep dairy of yours. Have a nice day and go fuck yourself. I need my black coffee."

and for the grand finale, his barely existant grasp of sarcasm and irony turns 'round and implodes on itself, collapsing into some sort of quantum singularity of literature so powerful that no wit, no originality, in fact no redeeming qualities of any kind can escape.

<img src="http://www.ruggedelegantliving.com/sf/a/images/ABC.Announcers.Vitale.Musberger.jpg">
this is what mariner's last post looks like

lol, she was probably wearing a radiohead shirt.

i hate lilith fair bitches.

LOL to all posts in this thread except the first

that's fantastic.

they both sound insufferable. i hope the situation ends up like a hal hartley version of You've Got Mail. crazy kids.

I got to the bit where they were both leaning back with smug grins and had to stop reading. I can only assume the story ends happily with the coffee shop blowing up

While I enjoyed your deconstructing of my friend's post, Mariner (and I infer yet again that it was is a true story), I don't agree with it. I think you attempted to outdo my friend, to be honest.

It was a funny read, though. A pity not many of you enjoyed my friend's tale...I figured you guys would actually like it.

ah, fuck it.

billy needs to follow garth's revival lead for sure. step one- get a wig.

(and I infer yet again that it was is a true story)

still don't think so.


It was a funny read, though.

yes, but not intentionally unless we've been had


A pity not many of you enjoyed my friend's tale...I figured you guys would actually like it.

we clearly have different ideas of "quality" and "believability"

i will say it again: if that's really your friend's first person account of an actual event, said friend is a toolbox

they should realize they're both essentially the same person and have a good hatefuck.

lame.
Man, halfway through reading this thread I was starting to get sad that no one mentioned this...

Both your friend and the girl sound like a couple of pretentious morons, but I like you, Tchocky.

you know, the rage. the kind that can only be wrenched from the depths of one's soul by the mockingly laughter.

from now on i want to be known as the mockingly admin

this is clearly fiction. poor fiction at that

Did anyone read that and think of that little douchebag Holden Caulfield?

this is clearly fiction. poor fiction at that

you're poor

reminded me of Hodgen Clayfield

What the hell, I only continued reading because I thought I was guaranteed public hate sex, I will assume it was edited out as too graphic for the likes of netphoria.

this is clearly fiction. poor fiction at that

Seriously.

you know if i had a girl who was into role playing in public that could be pretty fucking hot foreplay right there

nimrod are you being mockingly


What the hell, I only continued reading because I thought I was guaranteed public hate sex, I will assume it was edited out as too graphic for the likes of netphoria.

yeah, upon first read i was pretty sure it was going to go there

I often have a mockingly smile on my face.

actually i have quite an affluence for people with mockingly attitudes

I was thinking about Garth Brooks as Chris Gaines the other day.

actually i have quite an affluence for people with mockingly attitudes

Would it be your penultimate affluence?

<font color="dab9ea">Did all this take place at a starbucks?</font>

Starbucks is the penultimate place to confront mockingly, affluent arty types.

Would it be your penultimate affluence?


yes. it ranks just behind my affluence for all things penultimate.

I got to the bit where they were both leaning back with smug grins and had to stop reading. I can only assume the story ends happily with the coffee shop blowing up

in my script it does. maybe in the end there can be a nice nod to heathers with the goth girl emerging triumphant from the wreckage, puffing away on the cigarette she lit off the law student's charred remains.

well fuck me gently with a chainsaw.

This thread is rapidly ascending the affluence. iii

nimrod are you being mockingly

yeah, upon first read i was pretty sure it was going to go there


it should have gone there from here:
Locking eyes with mine she seethed, "Do you know what you are?" Not breaking eye contact, I leaned forward as well and hissed, "Enlighten me."

what a waste of perfectly good tension :noway:

Mariner is now one of my top-5 favorite posters.

Mariner is now one of my top-5 favorite posters.
as you can tell by my thread, i'm way ahead of you

nimrod are you being mockingly

unfortunately no, i'm that depraved :(

dude this thread got ten times more LOL-worthy while I was at work.

[i]I'm not going to attempt to hide it anymore. I'm a pretty laid back person that is open to nearly everything, but there is one group of people I simply can't stand. It's safe to use the word "hate". I absolutely hate artistic people. Well, not all artistic people. Just the ones who do it because they think it makes them special.



Oh look, your friend is an idiot.

this duel never happened.

if it did....people who transcribe are faggots

unfortunately no, i'm that depraved :(


this post made me put my pen down and roll my eyes. nimmy are you wearing a funny sweatshirt?

While I enjoyed your deconstructing of my friend's post, Mariner (and I infer yet again that it was is a true story), I don't agree with it. I think you attempted to outdo my friend, to be honest.

It was a funny read, though. A pity not many of you enjoyed my friend's tale...I figured you guys would actually like it.

Nah dude, your friend came across as a self indugent arrogant, egotistical asshole.
Invite him to Netphoria.
Show him this thread. I hear he 'never backs down'.
That could be fun.

why do you all think you're better than everyone elseIt's normal to think you're better than everyone else, and then not to, and to sway back and forth between the two mind sets.

this duel never happened.
if it did, it wasn't nearly as perfectly scripted as this, nor was it as long as this.

this thread needs more chat about how gay the starting line up of the chicago bulls is

Ben Wallace---->Braids his hair in Venus Williams beads when no one is around.
PJ Brown---> On the down-low
Andres Nocioni ---->Oh come on isn't it obvious?
Ben Gordon---->crossdresses, as well.
Kirk Heinrich---->is the catcher

Invite him to Netphoria.

Nah.

this thread needs more chat about how gay the starting line up of the chicago bulls is

Ben Wallace---->Braids his hair in Venus Williams beads when no one is around.
PJ Brown---> On the down-low
Andres Nocioni ---->Oh come on isn't it obvious?
Ben Gordon---->crossdresses, as well.
Kirk Heinrich---->is the catcher

:rofl:

it should have gone there from here:


what a waste of perfectly good tension :noway:
I can't really imagine someone hissing "Enlighten me."

I can't really imagine someone hissing "Enlighten me."


take off your pants and try again

Eeeeeenlightennnnn meeeeeeeeeeee.

Yeah. there are no 'ess' sounds in there to hiss.

that liar.

Now that's more like it.

Luol Deng...also gay. He sucks off horses for practice.

i can't believe you all read it. the post is huge and ugly and italic. i took one look at it and left and you should have too

if this actually did happen, well done

I can't really imagine someone hissing "Enlighten me."

anything can happen in the land of make believe

anything can happen in the land of make believe

<img src="http://www.cornerhouse.org/pictures/_bb-525-525/film/2134/The%20Neverending%20story.jpg">

this post made me put my pen down and roll my eyes. nimmy are you wearing a funny sweatshirt?
well i don't think it's funny

<img src="http://www.cornerhouse.org/pictures/_bb-525-525/film/2134/The%20Neverending%20story.jpg">
and just like there, the Nothing has been creeping into netphoria bit by bit

http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r146/kidnar/EM.jpg

http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r146/kidnar/EM.jpg
i love you man

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Mariner again.

boo hiss

What the hell is going on in this thread?

deviousj says that picture is unexpectedly arousing






what is the board's consensus on that?

oh, totally. it's the combination of the shocking pink lower lip + sexy librarian glasses.

deviousj says that picture is unexpectedly arousing






what is the board's consensus on that?
i would fuck the shit out of that thing

i would fuck the shit out of that thing

Feel like adding it to that thread of yours?

gearheads?

Hey, Mariner, at least high school kids are too young to write that pretentious kind of nonsense and pass it off as the height of cool.

(Mariner, I was agreeing with you about Tchocky's friend's writing, not dissing yours. Sorry, I was in a hurry because I had to leave somewhere tonight. Your "corrections" cracked me up because you took the fucking time to verbalize... textualize? exactly what I was thinking or thoughts of similar vein anyway)*.

Tchocky, your friend's writing is pretty funny. (:
Thanks for sharing, you've made my day and you deserve some good repping. <3

Noir cat, thank your for the positive feedback.

Mariner, that's pretty funny. :D

go back to hell Cece. YOU ARE DARKSIDED, TOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know this has already been covered and much more eloquently, but I can honestly say that is the worst fucking thing I've ever read in my entire life. If I wasn't suicidal already I would be now.

Actually I think this has made me come full circle and I'm no longer suicidal because I'm safe in the knowledge that I will never write anything so offensively horrific.

go back to hell Cece. YOU ARE DARKSIDED, TOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am darksided, honey, that's why you are so irresistably drawn to me.

I love you, too, now get back into bed, tiger.

Yes, ma'am.

i had to go back because there are too many gems up in this shit:





man i can't wait to see how his admirable laid-back attitude manifests itself in this story!





ooh, early and poorly-executed dip into the thesaurus. (not to mention an embarrassing glimpse of -ing fetishism). that's going to cost him some points.





<font color=orange>you know, the rage. the kind that can only be wrenched from the depths of one's soul by the mockingly laughter.</font>





<font color=orange>a certain root word has taken hold of the author's mind. everyone back away slowly. watch out for chairs.</font>





uhuh.





<font color="orange">he never said he was a law school professor!</font>





oh snap! that's sacrasm if i ever detected it.





eye contact reference #1. she seethes! nobody seethes in the first ten seconds of meeting a stranger in a coffee shop.





<font color=orange>and he can hiss right back! it's like i'm in "Reptile Encounters!" at the zoo. eye contact reference #2. this is getting intense...</font>





so this is what it's like to be a high school english teacher. now i understand the horror implicit in the phrase "spend the weekend grading papers"





so he's rude and he's into S&M!





what? writing this story, the author is a moron.





delusions of grandeur. is he sure he's not a tool that's going to law school to be rich?





still stuck in high school. definitely not a tool.





holy shit this is groundbreaking stuff right here.








...




<font color=orange>CUT OFF HER WHAT? </font>





it's not cool to like bands solely because of their obscurity. however, it is totally cool to make obscure cultural references and to watch tv shows that only two other people on the planet could possibly have watched, because Comedy Central had an exclusive feed into your apartment and your apartment only.





enough already with the -ing. artsy girl has a power button, and he might've just cum in his unlaundered law student sweats. SHUT HER THE FUCK DOWN.





and for the grand finale, his barely existant grasp of sarcasm and irony turns 'round and implodes on itself, collapsing into some sort of quantum singularity of literature so powerful that no wit, no originality, in fact no redeeming qualities of any kind can escape.


man, i miss this kind of boarding. i put my favorites in orange

i would fuck the shit out of that thing
i still agree with this sentiment

they should realize they're both essentially the same person and have a good hatefuck.




^

i still agree with this sentiment

Did you add it to that thread of yours?

that story is blatant trolling... you guys are silly

only characters in kevin smith movies are that wordy and "clever" in conversation.

i can't decide which is lamer: if it's fiction or if it actually happened.

sadly it's probably a combination of both. some girl laughed at him and he went home and wrote his little fantasy comeback. he also probably bangs her at the end.

lol @ kevin smith

Glad you bumped this whatcolor. There should be a Mariner best of thread.

Who talks like that anyways?
people who like to exagerate stories about their own experiences.

gear heads? what is this, 1975?

ohhhhh mariner. awesome.

this thread is spectacular. thanks for bumping, j.

gear heads? what is this, 1975?


More like 2007, buddy.

I can't believe someone actually revived this thread.

For the 900th time, this was a true story. Don't believe it all you want, but it happened. And I found it hilarious. My friend has another escapade happen to him recently that I'm thinking about posting.

In fairness though, Mariner's "analysis" of my friend's story was pretty damn funny.

http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r146/kidnar/EM.jpg

http://www.usdoj.gov/crt/ada/images/agreno.jpg

http://www.usdoj.gov/crt/ada/images/agreno.jpg
.. janet remo?

this thread gets funnier every time i read it

you're a sack of shit tchocky

Nicely done.

lol

I made the same post twice 8 months apart. Quality boarding.

bullshit.. and i remember chris gaines my mom loved garth brookes so i had no choice... is she an artsy girl?

you're kind of dumb.

dammit i knew this thread looked fishy i should have read it more before i posted.. then i got to mariner and knew it was old =/

you're kind of dumb.

you're a degenerate gambler

mariner was the best

oh wait he;'s still here

bump of the week!