so that guy. I talk to him on the phone and in the back of my mind I'm screaming at myself "uuuuuuuuuuuugh I dont like this guy AT ALL" and I can't tell if it's because he is too nice to me (I'm used to assholes) or I really dislike his personality.

but I don't want to drag this out because I dont want to hurt anyones feelings... but I am honestly not sure what my reason for being hesitant is. If it's the former then I think I need to force myself to stick around a little bit becuase I'll probably get used to being treated well

but ugh I don't know I'm sure he can tell I'm very uncomfortable around him sometimes. I am fucking insane. he's smart, has a good job, everyone likes him, outgoing, nice, attractive, likes me... what's wrong with me. I don't want to end up chasing assholes my entire life and die alone.

you're waiting to meet me, it's clear

oh well he just invited himself over. and his self esteem bothers me. he's always like "are you sure you want to hang out? would you tell me if you didn't want to?" and I'm like SHUT UP STOP MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE

no seriously, I think that if you discuss a guy over Internet, you really don't consider him to be the one

try a therapist

edit: this was before i read the second post, now he sounds annoying

I really just dont have any friends here to ask about this. all my friends I have are at work and they really cant know about it anyway.

so why don't you tell him to fuck off

please tell me your not about to screw around with someone you work with?

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuugh oh god what have I got myself into

I want ammy's opinion on this

or prs, or actually any of the girls around here.

the only women I'd listen to around here would be oblivious, pale blue eyes, beef curtains, or alisonmonster. all other ones seem to be crazy one way or another.

so is this guy from work? if no, then what have you got to lose? a night of posting on netphoria. who gives a fuck about some random dude's feelings.

if this is a guy from work, you're one dumb dumb dumb bitch for already having an extra-work relationship regardless of whether it leads anywhere or not. you aren't really much of a professional if you're already doing this shit at your first professional job.

whatever. most female attorneys do the same stupid shit. girls are just generally stupid idiots.

we haven't done anything yet, jesus we only hung out last weekend

But you're going to fuck, or at least blow him. This is a bad deal all around.

shit aint gonna happen if I feel as confused as I do right now

not if you're desperate

yeah that's real professional.

all the attorney at work sophie did was go out for a post-work snack with me and get drunk and make obvious passes at me. i lost all respect for her at that point,

WELL, i know from experience that you cant' force chemistry. they can be the perfect one 'on paper' for you, but if you feel no spark or desire to be with them you can't really expect it to go anywhere. some people say feelings like this grow from being friends with someone and finally just realizing that you were in love with them, but that didn't happen with me.
my past relationship was with a guy that i didn't necessarily find attractive, but had every great boyfriend quality i thought i needed. it was a pretty good long relationship and worked for what it was, but now that i'm in a relationship with jacob i realized everything that was missing in any other relationship i've ever had ever in teh world.

p.s. those guys that have no backbone are so unattractive. i knew one called wilbert and i liked hanging out with him because he'd never try to make a move, but once again no chemistry....nothing....it ended pretty quickly

the unprofessional aspect of this has nothing to do with whether you bone.

your not supposed to date or even sort of date or whatever you are doing with your coworkers when you are a business professional. bardy's skank ass took all of 3 weeks to fuck that up.

yeah that's real professional.

all the attorney at work sophie did was go out for a post-work snack with me and get drunk and make obvious passes at me. i lost all respect for her at that point,


oh come on you think I make passes at guys? I dont even get drunk around these people yet... and I wont for quite a while.

look you're right but that isnt the question I was asking netphoria

kristin xp you are one fucking slut

this guy is coming over. that's 100 times worse. he wants to fuck you and you have invited him over.

the unprofessional aspect of this has nothing to do with whether you bone.

your not supposed to date or even sort of date or whatever you are doing with your coworkers when you are a business professional. bardy's skank ass took all of 3 weeks to fuck that up.

AND I KNOW YOU'RE NOT REALLY A SKANK BARDY.

This shit just drives me crazy.

Girls boggle my mind sometimes with their lack of couth and zero business sense.

bitch please. don't even try to act like you have the privilage of knowing me.

i've been telling you fuckers for years that the assholes get all the pussy

i've been telling you fuckers for years that the assholes get all the pussy
then you must get all the pussy you want

well im more confused now than when this started

thanks netphoria!

then you must get all the pussy you want
being an asshole is more fun and nets more ass

nice guys are suckers

that's what we're here for

well im more confused now than when this started

thanks netphoria!you're welcome - have a great sex!

assholes get more tail but nice guys get stable girlfriends

assholes get more tail but nice guys get stable girlfriends
untrue. whenever an asshole is the slightest bit nice the girl will swoon and forgive everything else, whereas a nice guy gets taken for granted

i'm not too wise, but i think that this is the wisest advice: listen to yourself. that might mean that if you don't think you want to date this guy, you shouldn't jump into it. don't date him just because you feel like he is good and you should. i don't think it will be difficult to only be his friend; things haven't really gone too far yet. if he doesn't want to be your friend then he probably won't be a good person to date later anyway, that's my opinion at least. it sounds like you work with him, and that's reason enough to take it slow. i have made so many rash decisions, and decisions based upon what others thought, and i regret the majority of those decisions. i wish i had listened to myself more. you won't always be right, but why not listen to youself? don't be a chicken. you know what is right for you better than anyone else. that's one of the only things that i have learned in the last few years. have some confidence in your opinions and desires.

good lucky, lady. it is difficult.

I'm sure he can tell I'm very uncomfortable around him sometimes.
and his self esteem bothers me. he's always like "are you sure you want to hang out? would you tell me if you didn't want to?"

You act like you dont want him around, and get irritated because hes asking you if you want him around? God damn girl, you arent into him, cut the poor bastard loose, go out and find some jerk to fuck.

Just make sure its not Nimrod.

untrue. whenever an asshole is the slightest bit nice the girl will swoon and forgive everything else, whereas a nice guy gets taken for granted

.

oh this is what he meant.

my opinion? you obviously don't want this. end it.

ugh I am really cranky right now from being up since 1:30am so I dont think my judgement now is the best

but anyway he stopped by to say whats up and hang out with me for an hour or so. I think he realized I was kinda tired/cranky and is going to call me to hang out tomorrow afternoon. Maybe I wont be such a bitch when I wake up tomorrow morning.

everyone dies alone. unless you are in a cult

everyone dies alone. unless you are in a cult
not suicide bombers, unless they're really bad at it

also Alzheimer's patients

There's a big difference between being nice and being insecure...guys who are insecure and are always "are you sure? are you sure?" are really unattractive.

Anyhow I say just tell him up front how you feel...like Liz said, if he's not willing to be your friend at least then you know he wasn't really all that great to begin with.

wait so baden is gay?

... what's wrong with me.


You're an attention whore.

i've been telling you fuckers for years that the assholes get all the pussy
every male netphorian should read the game by neil strauss

You like bad boys. It's okay to admit it.

my opinion? you obviously don't want this. end it.

I missed your initial post about this guy but I'd have to agree with Ammy. It sounds like you're way too used to dating assholes and now you've met this stereotypical "nice guy" who you are sort of pursuing despite the fact you obviously have no interest in him. He's nice but so what. It doesn't mean you have to snatch him up now and hope that you eventually develop some affection for him. You could just be friends or coworkers or whatever and if one day some switch is flicked somewhere and his current blandness becomes endearing then by all means go get him. I just don't see the point in wasting your time and effort on something now that won't make you happy. You haven't been in California all that long. I'm sure there is more than one guy out there who falls between human equivalent of rice and complete jerk.

you will end up a fat single mom.

I read that as you will put your end up a fat single mom.

the only women I'd listen to around here would be oblivious, pale blue eyes, beef curtains, or alisonmonster. all other ones seem to be crazy one way or another.


i am not crazy.

crazy girls are good in the sack.

i think it is meant to be. the guy sounds really nice. it is understandable that you are nervous about him after the relationships youve reported on here. you defend yourself by saying theyre mutually casual when its obvious that the guy is using you and youre too into him and hoping for more. if you want something good youll have to work for it, and this could be the guy you marry one day.

<yea right but the rest of the posts in this thread are pretty boring>

I think you're looking for problems. Maybe it is a diversion from other stuff or it's comforting to have something to obsess over.

I think I just have a really annoying fear of intimacy. I don't even really feel comfortable when my family members are "sweet" to me and I dont ever say "I love you too" on the phone when my family members say it because it makes me nervous. I guess that's why in highschool/college I hung out with a group of guys that treated me like the little sister they never wanted and pursued guys who never going to tell me how beautiful and intelligent I was unless they were drunk and wanted to have sex.

Update: Brady DID NOT add a penis to her collection last night. However, things are looking up (if you know what I mean ... ) for this afternoon.

I think I just have a really annoying fear of intimacy. I don't even really feel comfortable when my family members are "sweet" to me and I dont ever say "I love you too" on the phone when my family members say it because it makes me nervous. I guess that's why in highschool/college I hung out with a group of guys that treated me like the little sister they never wanted and pursued guys who never going to tell me how beautiful and intelligent I was unless they were drunk and wanted to have sex.


wow, you're level of self-loathing astounds even me.

Yeah especially since she is attractive, intelligent, educated, and working a professional job and you're... well you know.

you dont like him.

bummer for him, you should just drop it before he gets led on etc etc.

you dont have to be a complete asshole to get girls, you just cant become their bitches.

oh and i didnt read the second page when i posted the previous 3 lines, but my opinion hasnt changed much.

Yeah especially since she is attractive, intelligent, educated, and working a professional job and you're... well you know.


no, i don't know.

please inform me.

so barden is gay?

whether or not the problem is you or him, you don't really seem to like him. don't force yourself to stay in the relationship just because you think you *should* just because someone is nice, caring and stable or wahtever does *not* mean you <i>should</i> or "owe it to yourself" to like them or date them.

what pale blue eyes said.

i kinda wish bardy's behavior here were rare, but this is pretty common

this is like the third time in this thread that nimrod tries to show off how much he knows about women and the stuff they do. if he knows so much then why isnt he with one? i bet it's not his own choice.

nimmy likes a variety of poon.

try a therapist

edit: this was before i read the second post, now he sounds like me

..

old granny poon

bitchin' camero!

hey hey now netphoria, he could still turn out to be an asshole!

i'd just wait it out without giving any implication of intimacy if you can do that. Just try not to get really wasted around him and do something you'd regret. Sounds like a nice guy, but if he starts to get clingy and weird kick him to the CURB!
but anyway, try to be understanding and not jump to conclusions. he's probably interested in more than just fucking you, so when you start to feel weird just get up to go to the bathroom and take a breather or something?....i dunno. some girls just need an asshole boyfriend and the contrast of a giant argument to make up sex for it to feel worth it.

hi

how big is the office you work in anyhow

I dunno, probably between 40-50 people. we are all kind of segregated into our own departments though of about 10 people

he's not in your 10 person department, right?

he's not in your 10 person department, right?


we aren't in the same department-- I only see him in the office if we are having cake for someones birthday or I happen to walk by him on the way out of the buildling.

this is like the third time in this thread that nimrod tries to show off how much he knows about women and the stuff they do. if he knows so much then why isnt he with one? i bet it's not his own choice.
i'm with more than one, which is better.

we aren't in the same department-- I only see him in the office if we are having cake for someones birthday or I happen to walk by him on the way out of the buildling.


well at least <i>that's</i> the case. i tend to agree with ace on this, though i can't be as gung-ho because i've crossed that line. though to a lesser degree sort of. my office is a massive four buildings with a few thousand people, and this girl works in a different building across the street, and we said up front that we had to make sure it didn't cross the line into unprofessional, and we had known eachother for many months before we met up outside of work.

yeah I know it's probably not a good idea, and that's why this is going very very slow. I mean we havent even kissed or anything; it's just friends at the moment. And I am going to guess it's going to be 'just friends' for a while because right now I don't even know if I like the guy. Also I think the situation/company I work in/for might be a little more laid back than where both you and Ace work--not that it means what I'm doing is okay. He has worked there for a couple years and for some reason he seems to think that there isn't anything wrong with it. I kind of want to ask him if he's ever done this before but I dont need to interrogate the guy yet and I dont really want to imply I want to date him.

If this did turn into something else, would you guys keep it a secret for a while (6 months or so) or be upfront about it in the beginning? That's what seems to be the controversy when I've heard about the relationships that have developed where I work.

hmm. i can't answer that last question, cause i just really don't like the idea of doing it at all anymore, it just doesn't seem wise. it's hard when you work so many hours that there's no time to meet people outside of work, but... let's just say here i am i hoping my reputation as a manic mushroom tapper doesn't spread throughout the company.

yeah definitely. I have tried taking some random classes to meet people but it seems so logical that I'm going to only really make friends at work. That is pretty much all I do, anyway. And in your situation with the long hours it's probably even more so. I guess the ideal situation would be to meet a friend of a coworkers but I've kinda fucked that up since the only one near my age is the dude that likes me. I think hooking up with one of his friends would be an equally bad/dramatic idea.

Oh well I'll just keep it in my pants. =P

http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/2615/shotintheheadtp7.jpg

being an asshole is more fun and nets more ass

nice guys are suckers

the Netphoria ethos

lol@ nimrod making himself out to be a hotshot stud

too obvious hes full of shit though, the clerks avatar of the movie guy just gives it away

Take things as slow as possible and keep them on more of a friend level until you figure shit out or move in January (or whenever it is that you are moving to Fresno). As for meeting someone outside of work, you just have to put yourself out there - go out and do things on your own (i.e. museum, bar, etc.) and you'll meet people/potential dates.

this is probably a bit late and i didn't bother reading anything past the first page, but it seems like you're lonely and bored, brady. it also seems like you're not into this guy too much besides for needing someone to hang out with. i would suggest on holding out for something more meaningful even if you're just looking for someone to hang/screw around with. somebody that you at least like! i mean if you don't even like the guy all that much why bother with the fuss of dating/fucking around with someone that you have to work with? surely you can hold out for something more wothwhile. though i do detect a trace of desperation in you at times. i just don't think it would be a good idea to to be anything beyond buddies with this guy unless you think that more good than bad could come out of it.

went out with him and his roommate tonight, no hooking up. I think we're in the clear, folks.

dont go out with him again.

i've been telling you fuckers for years that the assholes get all the pussy

no it's just men with conviction

they just happen to be assholes.

so netphoria, how do you go from being a nice guy to an asshole, without having a moral dilemma

???

so netphoria, how do you go from being a nice guy to an asshole, without having a moral dilemma

???

Beer!

oh well he just invited himself over. and his self esteem bothers me. he's always like "are you sure you want to hang out? would you tell me if you didn't want to?" and I'm like SHUT UP STOP MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE

you mean he perpetually seeks validation from others?

like you?

Cool

<img src=http://img96.imageshack.us/img96/6967/evhinthemoon9sx.jpg>

oh lol @ this thread. I have been dating that guy for like a year and a half now. I just wasn't used to guys who were nice to me and didn't derive all their humor from making fun of other people. Our relationship isn't perfect (he takes baby steps and is having a quarter/mid/whatever life crisis) but he is my best friend and I don't know what I would have done without him. Also lol@ kristin's post in this thread.

and we are back to working in the same office!! and I think we waited like 6 months before we told anyone at the office and noone seemed to really care. They made sure we wernt near each other/in the same department when I moved back to sacramento though.

what a happy ending!

bardy quit netphoria?

for the most part. I might be here for the next 5 minutes. I just got blocked at work though, which is nice. although not really necessary since the rest of my company started finding out what my job was and started asking me to do shit for them.

for the most part. I might be here for the next 5 minutes. I just got blocked at work though, which is nice. although not really necessary since the rest of my company started finding out what my job was and started asking me to do shit for them.

how does that make it not necessary? Or an even better question, why did it become necessary in the first place?

it means im busy,


I dont really want to spend my 5 minutes here talking to you

but you'll surely break my heart if you don't talk to me about yourself in a thread about you.

for someone who hates hearing about me you sure are the first one to jump on the brady-attention train

i think you were the first one to jump on the brady attention train by giving a maury povitch style UPDATE! to this thread. I was just trying to be cordial about it but if you want to be pissy, be pissy. You're wasting your five minutes btw

is this the boyfriend she lives with now?

but now that i'm in a relationship with jacob

yeah and his name rhymes with my boyfriend's name


kacob dacob bacob lacob zacob?

bradys b/f's name is dustin so kristin's b/f's name must me rustin or krustin or dustbin

his name is IP BAN

oh justin. didn't think of that one.

Can we merge this with the Vegas brothel trip thread.

this one? http://forums.netphoria.org/general-chat-archive/130375-my-boyfriend-went-whore-house-last-night.html

nah it works too well on its own

Merge all her boyrfriend drama threads. We should have the saga all in one place.

you're just sad nobody calls you their boyfriend.

i liked that thread where she talked abotu not being able to fit his penis in her mouth because it was so THICK

i never quite got it at the time... or maybe i just never read her threads

oh lol @ this thread

ha