Yes, my life is still grand.
No, I don’t really post here.
Am I still a self absorbed arrogant asshole determined to enforce the notion that my life exceeds the highs and lows of yours? Of course.

And what have I been up too?
Oh, grand things, you netphorian, grand things.

In the last week alone I’ve dug into the chest cavity of a dead human cadaver. I’ve pulled on the exposed tendons to make crude hand gestures, and felt among the muscles for bones and nerves.

I’ve built a wall unit and learnt 3 new songs on my new guitar. I made fun sounds on my new effects pedal.

I’ve been invited to tour with a local band here to Mozambique. Not as a musician, but because they like me. And cause I’m doing their album artwork. Ho ho.

I’ve got into a fight on the side of the road with a strange food delivery guy (South Africans will recognise the term ‘Mr Delivery’. Fuckers. I hope I made him late and he had to pay for the food).

I painted a 4 meter x 2 meter mural on a wall. Was it pretty? God damn it was. Would you expect less? I doubt it.

Yes, these are the achievements of great men. But it doesn’t stop there.

I recently moved, again, into my most favourite place yet.

I stay with my sister and her boyfriend, who happens to be my best friend. We cook grand food every night, and watch satellite television while smoking the highest quality marijuana. I’ve started two separate (but admittedly: small) business, and we are in the process of putting together a proposal for a third, large, full time company with a 90% chance of it being approved, upon which I shall quit my job and reap the rewards of working from our spare room next door.

I regularly take our Siberian Husky puppy for long walks in the park. They are not romantic, so don’t imply it, fucker. And is she beautiful? Does she call on the attention of passers by, eager to comment on her beauty? Is her combination of colour rare? Are her mismatched eyes adorable? God damn, yes they are.

I regularly give the required attention to my 3 bonsai, which require a delicate touch such as my own.

I make love to my amazingly beautiful girlfriend on a regular basis, and other beautiful women discreetly pleasure themselves while fantasising about being in the same position as her.


I’m the next fastest thing on two wheels after superman. I fly through the streets at a high (but safe and cautious) speed, and people gasp in wonder and awe.

In fact: I light up every god damn room I’m in. As always.

I am truly grand. Netphorians undeniably envy every aspect of my life.

At least that one small aspect hasn’t changed.

I could go on, but I’m sure by now you’re pressing the serated edge of that bread knife against your pitiful wrists and weeping: ‘Why not me? When do I get to that amazing Nirvana that can be summed up as Badens Life’.

But I digress. The point is: me = cooler then you. All of you. Combined.

Oh yes. I said combined.


Fuckers.


I'd use a smiley, but none of them cut it.

Why don't you blog on myspace you privledged s.o.b.

well thats

pretty

interesting

thanks for the

catch up

post

Why don't you blog on myspace you privledged s.o.b.

Do I use the internet?
not really.

But i wouldn't expect a great man too, would you?

sup g?

did you finally see ong bak and fist of legend?

well thats

pretty

interesting

thanks for the

catch up

post

I feel that by assigning a new paragraph to each achievement, it makes it less daunting for mere mortals to attempt to acknowledge these amazing feats.

Perhaps in a small way they could confuse themselves, make themselves believe that these are the acts of multiple people, for surely one man is not capable of such greatness on his own.

definitely

sup g?

did you finally see ong bak and fist of legend?

Would a great man have seen Ong Bak?
Naturally.

Would a greater man own the special edition DVD? Defintely.

Now ask yourself, is baden a great man?


(Lets not talk about the fist of legend situation, hmmmkay?).

Seen Seven Sumarai? That old 1940's black and white one? I too, own that now. Is it great? yes, it is.



Is the rhetorical theme getting a bit much? Perhaps.

yeah the special edition ong bak is the shiznit

i love seven samurai, its the best movie to sit about with friends and get stoned on a sunday and watch, over hours, and hours

my mates saw seven samurai in an arthouse cinema in glasgow one night when i was working :(

Now Im leaving.
Although I might check back sometime soon.

Wait patiently.

worst thread ever

tl;dr

gosh, it sure sounds tough to be a white guy in South Africa. keep up the faith, brother. one day you'll be free!

do

you

know who

Bardy

is


?


(is your girlfriend still the one who was supposed to go to/visit Europe ?)

yeah, I can't read your name without thinking bardy

yeah, I can't read your name without thinking bardy
i can't read his name without thinking he's a stupid piece of shit

lol, i wonder how old his child would be now if chantal hadn't aborted it!

it would have died from neglect anyway so no harm done

Do I use the internet?
not really.

But i wouldn't expect a great man too, would you?

Actually, internet communication should be embraced and not mocked. It's the 21st Century, you know. Besides, I would expect a great man to understand the difference between the words "to" and "too."

:-*

Actually, internet communication should be embraced and not mocked. It's the 21st Century, you know. Besides, I would expect a great man to understand the difference between the words "to" and "too."

:-*
Actually I find his too usage as correct

i hope one day to be as great a person as barden

positive reps.

Barden's rhetorical techniques are all too powerful

well it's good to see that you're not trying to hard to impress

i was about to make a Where's Barden?? thread yesterday.

what do you think of Hashim Amla?

tl;dr
<my sentiments exactly>

Yes, my life is still grand.
No, I don’t really post here.
Am I still a self absorbed arrogant asshole determined to enforce the notion that my life exceeds the highs and lows of yours? Of course.


You seem to have the impression I come round to Netphoria to show off or something, and get some internet approval for my life, which I so desperately need.

I just got this screen name back and this was from some PM you sent me in 2004...you went on to whine about how you should be able to post pictures of your pot plants without me saying shit or something.

Anyhow, I just saw it today and figured it was kind of a coincidence. No, you definitely don't come around to Netphoria to show off or anything. Never.

I also found one with Gil's address so I could send him a Christmas card. Hah! You fucker, I wasted 37 cents on your dumbass. :mad:

MEMORIES!!!

awww do you have the internet at your place yet?

i'm happy things are going well for you! i loved your pic posts and the way you typed in all caps like a raging neanderthol just to piss people off. i laughed a lot!

you need to livejournal or blog or something so us central standard time people can catch up