View Full Version : Guns N' Roses - Chinese Democracy review


Fonzie
03-27-2006, 08:43 PM
So is it coming out soon?


Guns N' Roses
Chinese Democracy(Interscope)
By: Chuck Klosterman

March 27, 2006

The endless wait is over.

It’s been a long time since Guns N’ Roses have released an album of new material. Everybody knows this, but it’s a fact that bears repeating. If you purchased a kitten on the day that Use Your Illusion I & II arrived in stores, it’s probably dead by now. As a consequence, there has been a great deal of pressure on Axl Rose to deliver a record that would validate a 15-year, $13 million wait. There is really only one way for Chinese Democracy to avoid utter and absolute failure: It needs to be the greatest rock album ever made.

Chinese Democracy is not the greatest rock album ever made.

Oh, it’s certainly awesome, but I don’t think it’s "15 years awesome." Had Axl released his album after a silence of, say, 11 years and two months (at a cost of, say, $11.5 million), Chinese Democracy would be an undeniable masterpiece, but considering the circumstances, some of this work seems shoddy. I get the impression most of the 13 songs were written between 1993 and 1999, and Rose merely spent six or seven years touching them up in the studio. One is forced to wonder if a track like "Madagascar" was only recorded 75 or 80 times, which calls Axl’s alleged "maniacal perfectionism" directly into question.

Does Chinese Democracy offer glimpses of the paranoid, misogynistic genius we once heard on the soundtrack of Interview With the Vampire? Absotively. "The Blues" might be Rose’s crowning career achievement: It’s an epic combination of mid-period Stevie Wonder, early Elton John, and side two of In Through the Out Door. This is the kind of gutter-glam boogie ballad that makes "November Rain" seem like a bucket of burro vomit warming in the afternoon sun. Chinese Democracy is simultaneously propulsive and ponderous, and there are some electrifying guitar arpeggios on both "Silk Worm" and "Thursday Morning Strip Club" (performed, I assume, by either Buckethead, Robin Finck, Zakk Wylde, Johnny Marr, or Brian May -- all five are listed in the liner notes). But this transcendence is sporadic at best: All too often, Rose’s sonic neurosis plunges into self-reflexive self-indulgence, most notably on the outdated 14-minute rap-rock anthem "Pound You (Good)" and an embarrassing "roots rock" duet with new buddy Dave Pirner titled "You’re Still Too Sweet Not to Be My Baby Anymore." Several songs make thinly veiled references to the architect who designed Rose’s backyard topiary garden, a move that may confuse casual listeners.

Obviously, the sexy albatross hanging around Rose’s wiry jugular is simple modernity: Could he create an album that would sound contemporary -- and competitive -- in today’s ever-evolving marketplace? As such, it is hard to understand why he elected to have Chinese Democracy coproduced by Bob Ezrin (Pink Floyd, Kiss) and Phil Ramone (Billy Joel, Barbra Streisand). Songs like "Catcher in the Rye" exhibit the sculpted sheen of Billy Joel’s Glass Houses, and the LP *******s several tracks on which GNR bassist Tommy Stinson appears to be playing a note-for-note replication of the bass line from "Another Brick in the Wall." Skeptics might also bristle at the anger that still resides in Axl’s heart; his hairstyle and facial features have changed, but his inner intensity remains grizzly-esque. On the caustic rocker "Slash and Burned," Rose lashes out at his former bandmates now in Velvet Revolver with staggering specificity: "Your singer has cocaine eyes and a skeletonized trance / We’ll see if RCA recoups their advance." Rose has also retained his pathological distaste for the media, lyrically attacking the editors of Vanity Fair, MTV personality Sway, numerous teenage bloggers, and the city hall reporter for the Cincinnati Enquirer (who, curiously, has never written about pop music).

Still, Rose always possesses the potential to surprise us, as he does on a slightly reggaetón cover of Thin Lizzy’s "Cowboy Song" and a faithful (albeit befuddling) version of "Think About You," a tune actually written and recorded by Guns N’ Roses in 1987. But a deeper quandary remains: Does Chinese Democracy accomplish its goal? After all this time and all that money, will this album truly bring democracy to China?

I don’t know. I just don’t know.

Argh
03-27-2006, 08:50 PM
it's going to fucking rock. download "Catcher In The Rye" or "I.R.S." if you don't think this album is going to be one of the best of the year

ravenguy2000
03-27-2006, 08:51 PM
Several songs make thinly veiled references to the architect who designed Rose’s backyard topiary garden, a move that may confuse casual listeners.





























Several songs make thinly veiled references to the architect who designed Rose’s backyard topiary garden, a move that may confuse casual listeners.














































Several songs make thinly veiled references to the architect who designed Rose’s backyard topiary garden, a move that may confuse casual listeners.

FearFactory
03-27-2006, 08:52 PM
from what I've heard of the album, it's managed to (somehow) suck even more than velvet revolver.

shutthefuckup
03-27-2006, 09:07 PM
it's going to fucking rock. download "Catcher In The Rye" or "I.R.S." if you don't think this album is going to be one of the best of the year


lol

Hearing Buckethead would be the only reason to hear this album and from the two songs I've heard from, if thats what I want to hear I'd just actually listen to Buckethead's stuff.

Argh
03-27-2006, 09:16 PM
actually buckethead's stuff is unlistenable, but when he is under Axl's control he plays pretty nice stuff. the solo on I.R.S. is bad ass and T.W.A.T. and Better are good as well. Brian May's guitar on Catcher in the Rye is awesome too. and no, there's no way this is worse than Velvet Revolver.

shutthefuckup
03-27-2006, 09:25 PM
actually buckethead's stuff is unlistenable, but when he is under Axl's control he plays pretty nice stuff. the solo on I.R.S. is bad ass and T.W.A.T. and Better are good as well. Brian May's guitar on Catcher in the Rye is awesome too. and no, there's no way this is worse than Velvet Revolver.

Oh man, you're dumb.

Exactly what Buckethead have you heard? You ever listen to Praxis? They blow anything Axl Rose has ever touched out of the water.

Karl Connor
03-27-2006, 10:00 PM
ah nah. you know what im saying :D

Argh
03-27-2006, 10:03 PM
Oh man, you're dumb.

Exactly what Buckethead have you heard? You ever listen to Praxis? They blow anything Axl Rose has ever touched out of the water.

Ive seen praxis live, and I've heard a variety of buckethead, from shred to chicken picken, all of it boring as fuck.

now go back to wearing your kfc bucket and halloween mask you loser faggot.

shutthefuckup
03-27-2006, 10:19 PM
Praxis are tons better than anything Guns n Roses have ever or will ever put out. If you don't agree then you're just a fucking idiot.

I'm not even that big of a buckethead fan but hes one of the best guitarists that play in the style that I've heard. He is a lot fucking better than a lot of the people from the 80s I'm sure you idiolize.

FearFactory
03-27-2006, 10:44 PM
<fgh>

TuralyonW3
03-27-2006, 11:56 PM
I just listened to TWAT and is pretty bad, what is the big deal about this shit?

shutthefuckup
03-28-2006, 12:47 AM
<fgh>
Wow...that was funny. 2 years ago.

mv2007
03-28-2006, 01:20 AM
Klosterman is a great writer. If you haven't read his books, check them out.

dean moriaty
03-28-2006, 01:27 AM
did he write fargo: rock city?

Dead
03-28-2006, 01:30 AM
Wow...that was funny. 2 years ago.
It wasn't funny 2 years ago, it's just a god damn photo of a train.

Ugly
03-28-2006, 01:33 AM
where be the Chinese Democracy leaks? Arrr.

Argh
03-28-2006, 01:59 AM
Praxis are tons better than anything Guns n Roses have ever or will ever put out. If you don't agree then you're just a fucking idiot.

I'm not even that big of a buckethead fan but hes one of the best guitarists that play in the style that I've heard. He is a lot fucking better than a lot of the people from the 80s I'm sure you idiolize.

you're wrong about praxis being better than guns n roses, now get back to sucking their cocks.

secondly, I will agree that buckethead is very good and dare I say better than alot of 80's guitarists but he's no guitar hero. hell, half of his fans just like his goofy anime nerd robot image which is pretty lame.

and considering he learned alot from Paul Gilbert, it's pretty easy to say without alot of 80's guitarists buckethead would just be a net fag like yourself.

shutthefuckup
03-28-2006, 02:14 AM
you're wrong about praxis being better than guns n roses, now get back to sucking their cocks.



This alone proves you're an idiot.

Also to judge Buckethead by his whole mask/persona and his fans is pretty ignorant. Although I'd expect that from you. :dammit: You do think the new GnR album is going to be great.

I just realized I had I.r.s on my computer. You're right, the solo is cool. The rest of the song is pretty fucking gay.

FearFactory
03-28-2006, 04:50 AM
Wow...that was funny. 2 years ago.

it's a train wreck, which by no small coincidence is what the majority of the threads both of you have been involved in have become.

mv2007
03-28-2006, 10:48 AM
did he write fargo: rock city?

Yes. He wrote:

-Fargo Rock City
-Sex, Drugs & Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto
-Killing Yourself To Live

I read the last 2 & they were both good. Haven't gotten to Fargo Rock City yet...working backwards.

shutthefuckup
03-28-2006, 12:15 PM
it's a train wreck, which by no small coincidence is what the majority of the threads both of you have been involved in have become.
And sadly you can't come up with anything more witty to describe it than a joke used years ago...way to go Bradleeeeee! You gonna break out some "have a nice warm cup of shut the fuck up" pictures too?

<img src="http://home.swiftdsl.com.au/~raza/haha.jpg">

List On Fork
03-28-2006, 01:25 PM
Chuck Klosterman's books are fucking brilliant.

dean moriaty
03-28-2006, 02:07 PM
i enjoyed fargo: rock city because i can't get enough of reading about ratt

mv2007
03-28-2006, 02:20 PM
I liked Killing Yourself to Live a little more than SD&CP, mostly because its in a more traditional book format and its based on a good premise. SC&CP is really just a collection of short stories, some of which are great, some are just ok.

dean moriaty
03-28-2006, 03:04 PM
any ratt in either of them?

Fonzie
03-28-2006, 03:25 PM
it's a train wreck, which by no small coincidence is what the majority of the threads both of you have been involved in have become.


dude, them idiots broke my thread. :mad:

FearFactory
03-28-2006, 03:46 PM
And sadly you can't come up with anything more witty to describe it than a joke used years ago...way to go Bradleeeeee! You gonna break out some "have a nice warm cup of shut the fuck up" pictures too?


there's no need to be witty when pointing out the fact that the two of you are thread-destroyers. why mess with the perfection that is the train wreck?

shutthefuckup
03-28-2006, 03:58 PM
The thread has to actually have some substance in order for it to be "destroyed".

shutthefuckup
03-28-2006, 08:51 PM
Argh, why don't you post your ten top favorite bands?