i was just eating a hot pocket at the computer and rather than getting up to get a napkin i just reached into my printer for a piece of paper

haha.

yeah, if i spill something at the computer i usually soak it up with printer paper instead of getting a cloth or a paper towel

i'm moving in two weeks and i haven't started packing my disgusting mess of an apartment yet.

Originally posted by mirrar
i'm moving in two weeks and i haven't started packing my disgusting mess of an apartment yet.

When I moved, I didn't pack a thing until my dad was here with the truck. I let him move out the big furniture stuff, then threw everything else into milkcrates and garbage bags.

I intend to repeat this process when I move on September 1.

Originally posted by murgle


When I moved, I didn't pack a thing until my dad was here with the truck. I let him move out the big furniture stuff, then threw everything else into milkcrates and garbage bags.

I intend to repeat this process when I move on September 1.

my mom would have a heart attack reading that statement. she enjoys packing and is probably at this moment packing my roommate's stuff while she's gone for the summer.

Originally posted by mirrar
i'm moving in two weeks and i haven't started packing my disgusting mess of an apartment yet.

are you still looking for a funky roommate

Originally posted by Sean Casey


are you still looking for a funky roommate yes.

You fucking slobs.








Do none of you people have butlers!?

Originally posted by **********
ok yeah i remmber one

i was so hungry once but i was sitting at the computer and didnt want to get up to make a sandwich/food so i waited for a few hours until my friend, who lived about 3 miles away, signed on and i asked her to buy me jack in the box

she was like 'uhhh just get up and make something dumbass' but i told her i was too far from the kitchen

at the time, my computer was literally 8 feet away from the fridge


we then got into an argument over how i could feasibly move the computer directly adjacent to the fridge so that kind of situation never occurs again

I could be wrong but thats kinda just being a big attention whoring queen.

I got to write these jokes. So, I sit at the hotel at night and I think of something that's funny. Or, If the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of wasn't funny.

Originally posted by **********
ok yeah i remmber one

i was so hungry once but i was sitting at the computer and didnt want to get up to make a sandwich/food so i waited for a few hours until my friend, who lived about 3 miles away, signed on and i asked her to buy me jack in the box

she was like 'uhhh just get up and make something dumbass' but i told her i was too far from the kitchen

at the time, my computer was literally 8 feet away from the fridge


we then got into an argument over how i could feasibly move the computer directly adjacent to the fridge so that kind of situation never occurs again

That's pretty ridiculous... although I have had a friend drive over to my apartment to kill a huge spider that was sitting on my wall. But that thing was a wolf spider which are fucking huge, and there was no way I was going to smush it.

I keep a mini-refridgerator next to my bed and one next to my couch so that I never have to get up to get a beer. And by mini-refridgerator, I mean, each one can hold 3+ cases of bottled beer. If only the thought of pissing in a bed-pan didn't disgust me so much, I could easily stay in bed for days at a time without getting up.

When I get the flew real bad, I'll usually place a trashcan next to bed so that I don't have to run to a bathroom to vomit. I know other people who do the same thing though so...

Originally posted by **********



i wish it was :erm

i seriously just didnt want to stand up

she ended up bringing me jack in the box

I wish i had fag hags.

Instead of going to the bathroom, I often just shit all over myself.

Originally posted by **********



lol i was her only gay friend , so she doesnt qualify

also why does that make her a fag hag? shes just a Laziness Enabler if anything


fags are notoriously lazy i guess

They only need one to qualify as a fag hag, so long as they have their 'gay man friend' to appease their sex and the city aspirational pangs.

And they're fag hags because they put up with and actually encourage this faggy behaviour by succumbing! Tell me you havent tried to make people travel to do things for you and make yourself feel loved since then!

Originally posted by **********
ok yeah i remmber one

i was so hungry once but i was sitting at the computer and didnt want to get up to make a sandwich/food so i waited for a few hours until my friend, who lived about 3 miles away, signed on and i asked her to buy me jack in the box

she was like 'uhhh just get up and make something dumbass' but i told her i was too far from the kitchen

at the time, my computer was literally 8 feet away from the fridge

This sounds like the exploits of my friends.

Originally posted by Trotskilicious
Instead of going to the bathroom, I often just shit all over myself.

http://www.infantilism.org/ ?

in college i timed how to flush the toilet while peeing so i could get out sooner. now i take my time and my life is better for it

i sometimes use receipts found in my purse as napkins

One time I was so lazy I laid in bed for 98 hours and when I was hungry I would eat some of the mattress.

Originally posted by DeadSwan
i sometimes use receipts found in my purse as napkins

THAT'S NOT REALLY LAZINESS, THOUGH

For about all of 1997 I conducted all of my business on the toilet. I set up my computer and television in the bathtub and ate, slept and shat on the toilet.

THERE IS A FINE LINE BETWEEN LAZINESS AND EFFICIENCY

Originally posted by Trotskilicious
For about all of 1997 I conducted all of my business on the toilet. I set up my computer and television in the bathtub and ate, slept and shat on the toilet.

Did you pee in a bedpan?

I ATE CHINESE FOOD IN THE BATHTUB LAST NIGHT

Originally posted by DeadSwan
I ATE CHINESE FOOD IN THE BATHTUB LAST NIGHT

Was it good?

Originally posted by GlasgowKiss


Did you pee in a bedpan?

Naw man I peed in the toilet. Try and keep up.

AND I SPILLED SOME SOY SAUCE ON THE TOILET SEAT AND ACTUALLY CONSIDERED LEAVING IT THERE AS A JOKE

Originally posted by Trotskilicious


Was it good?

IT WASN'T GOOD, IT WAS FANTASTIC

Originally posted by DeadSwan
AND I SPILLED SOME SOY SAUCE ON THE TOILET SEAT AND ACTUALLY CONSIDERED LEAVING IT THERE AS A JOKE

By the way I'm assuming that you were just sitting in your bathtub eating chinese food with all your clothes on because that's funnier.

^And kinda sexy.

Just imagine some hot lady friend of yours, in the bathtub, legs draped over the side, a pair of chopsticks place precariously over her voluptuous lips, about to partake in a delicious chinese noodle of some sort.

Mm.

Originally posted by Trotskilicious
By the way I'm assuming that you were just sitting in your bathtub eating chinese food with all your clothes on because that's funnier.




that would make a good photo shoot


*jots down*

Originally posted by DeadSwan





that would make a good photo shoot


*jots down*

I WANT ROYALTIES.

Originally posted by Trotskilicious


I WANT ROYALTIES.

eh, i'd just publish them for the tear (rhymes with bear, not beer) sheets. no payment involved.

I know what tear sheets are*.

<font size="1">*This statement is false.**
**So is this one.

Originally posted by Trotskilicious
I know what tear sheets are*.

<font size="1">*This statement is false.**
**So is this one.

i wasn't trying to be condescending..i just assumed that most people who aren't into fashion, photography, makeup, publishing, etc, wouldn't be familiar with the term*


*although i realize you were joking